Author: BlackCherrymeg
Chapter 4
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Summary: Faith and Buffy are Twin slayers who move to Sunny Dale with their sister Dawn. Now having to live with an aunt, they meet new people, one which they aren't pleased to see.
A Few Months Later
"Buffy will you please come in here for a minute?" My Aunt Loraine has been so annoying since she found out the baby was alive again.
"What is it now?" I walked into the kitchen where Aunt Loraine was tapping her foot on the tiled floor. "What did I do this time?"
"You ate all mustard and celery again! How am I supposed to fix sandwiches and a salad if everything's gone?"
"I'm sorry it's these stupid pregnancy cravings!" Spike came in and didn't say hi, just kept eating whatever he brought with him. "Hi honey, didn't you notice me?" He looked up at me and just smiled. He's been acting different since the baby came back. He was happy for a while, but went back to acting like it was just some … I'm not sure.
"Sweetie is something wrong between you and Spike?"
"I'm not sure." I left the kitchen and went into my bedroom to lie down. Spike shared the room with me and was in the corner with his headphones on. "Spike we need to talk."
He looked at me so I know he heard me, but just kept listening to his music. "That's just fine Spike. Why don't you just move out and leave me alone because you sure as hell aren't acting like you want to be this baby's father!" I walked out and slammed the door behind me.
I took a walk at the park not really knowing what I was going to do once I got back to the house. If only there was some way to just not go back and forget everything. I know I could raise this baby on my own. A familiar voice sent me out of my thoughts.
"Hey B Spike sent me to see what's wrong with you." Faith was looking at me with concern.
"Yeah well maybe Spike should have come himself. It's his baby and girlfriend he has been ignoring for the past three months."
"Alright well if you're sure I can't help I'm going to go back to the house. I'll see you around." After she left I continued walking down the little path that circled a sandbox full of toys. I sat on a bench and watched the little kids run around and go down the slides screaming with joy. My hand traveled down to my swollen stomach and felt content with the life growing inside of me. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and looked back.
"Riley what are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. Faith called a couple weeks ago and said you could see an old friend." I saw his gaze drift down to my stomach and his eyes were wide.
"So I can see she didn't tell you about my pregnancy."
"Um… no she seemed to leave that part out. But that's Faith for you. Only tells you some of the story. So where's the father?"
"He's at home being a stubborn jerk." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I just want to leave Sunny Dale and forget any of this happened. It would be a lot better than him leaving me eventually."
Riley had now sat down beside me. "Now why would he leave such an amazing and beautiful woman who is carrying the most precious thing life has to give?"
"Because I almost lost the baby and he blames me and he hasn't stopped." A silent tear made its way down my cheek, but I found a warm hand to brush it away. Then Riley leaned in and kissed me. I pulled back, shocked by his gesture.
"I'm sorry was that wrong of me to do?"
"Well yes it was. I am still with Spike even though he is ignoring me, but I will not cheat on him."
"I'm sorry Buffy, I'm gonna go. I'm staying in a motel; Faith has the number and room number if you feel like visiting some time. I'm here for a few days." He started to walk off.
"Riley can you leave earlier than that? Like today?"
"Listen Buffy I know you don't want me here because I made a move on you, but I didn't think you would make me leave."
"I just meant that I want to go with you. Sunny Dale no longer has anything to offer me. I may not cheat on Spike, but I can leave him and stop him from leaving me." Riley was shocked but nodded.
"Call me once your things are together. Ill pick you up late tonight, there's a plane at 11."
"Thank you Riley." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and walked home. I opened the door to find Faith and Angel on the couch making out. "Whoa you two need to get a room."
Angel got up and turned a bright red. Faith just stayed on the couch and watched Angel get embarrassed. "Buffy we didn't know you would be here so soon." I smiled at how he was reacting.
"Angel it's ok. We are all grown up around here and I know what it's like to have feelings for someone."
"Yeah B. but we're only making out." She winked at me and I caught the joke.
"Well I'm going upstairs to take a nap so please don't come up and disturb me. I want a nice long rest."
"Alright, but hey Spike's up there waiting for you." I walked up to my room and waited in front of the door before opening it. 'How am I going to get my things together if he's in there waiting to talk to me?' I thought to myself and then opened the door.
"Hey pet didn't think you were ever coming back." Spike was on the bed with one of our recent ultrasound pics. "I was afraid you really wanted me to leave."
"No Spike I don't want you to leave. You should stay." He never looked up at me. Just fiddled with the picture. "You've been ignoring me ever since we lost the baby, then got her back."
"Yeah well it's hard for me to handle! This isn't bloody easy!"
"What isn't easy Spike?"
"All of it, I just don't want to talk about it right now. I'm going out for a while. I'll see you when I get back." He put on his leather jacket.
"No you might not see me."
"What does that mean?"
"Just nothing…" He finally looked at me and I saw the hurt in his eyes and the pain. There have been so many feelings I never saw before. Feelings he wouldn't let me see.
He walked out and I took this to my advantage to get my things together. I cried the whole time, but never thought about staying. I knew this was for the better. Spike would leave me or if he didn't he would blame me for the rest of our lives. As I finished I took one last look around the room and went out the window. Riley's car was a little down the street and then we left. Never to return again.
Spike's POV
I walked into the house a couple hours after leaving to find Dawn in tears and Aunt Loraine talking furiously on the phone. "What's the matter with the old bint?"
"Well it seems that Buffy didn't want to cause us anymore trouble or pain. She left a separate letter for you Spike." Dawn told me through heavy sobs.
"What do you mean left a letter for me?"
"She left Spike! Buffy left us all!" Dawn ran into up to her room and Faith was huddled into Angel's chest.
I looked down at the letter and my hands were shaking. I slowly opened the pink stationary that was sealed with an imprint of her lips with the lip gloss I told her looked nice. I read the letter slowly, trying to get all that she was saying.
Dear Spike,
I'm so sorry I had to leave, but I couldn't stay any longer. You were constantly ignoring me and when I finally looked into your eyes today I saw all the pain and anger you were hiding. I saw it all. I'm sorry for almost losing our baby; I know you haven't stopped blaming me. You only stuck around for the baby's sake. I can't be in a family like that. So I'm leaving before you have to leave me. I'm sorry it ended this way. I love you with all my heart and this baby will know her father. I have to go now. I'll try to contact you later. Once more… I love you.
Love,
Buffy
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized what I had done to her. Shutting her out of my world was not the answer that I thought it had been. I never blamed her for one second. God I thought she knew that. I always blamed myself. Here I had everything in my life going great, then endanger it by letting her walk home alone in the dark. It was my fault. And now my love and my child were gone. "Spike are you there?"
Faith was waving her hand in front of my face. "Sorry pet didn't me to…ignore you. God I can't believe I did this to her!"
"Spike this isn't your fault in any way. She thought you were blaming her; she just misunderstood your feelings. Buffy will be back, just give her some time. B isn't the type to just up and leave forever." I nodded and Faith gave me a quick hug before returning to Angel's arms.
"You don't have any idea where she might be?"
"No I don't know… I'll go call Riley. He saw her today at the park. Maybe he will know." Faith picked up the phone and started to dial a number.
"Hello is Riley Finn still checked in?" There was a pause then she started talking again. "Oh ok thank you anyways." She hung the phone up and yelled a few cuss words about Riley. "He checked out a few minutes ago with a young blonde woman. I can't believe Riley would do this!"
"Where are they going?"
"Probably back to L.A. Riley has had the hots for Buffy ever since he first saw her. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't miss this as a chance to finally get her again. It doesn't matter whose child she's carrying."
"That bloody ponce is taking my girlfriend and my baby so he can have a chance with her?"
"I'm sorry Spike. But Buffy isn't interested in Riley and won't give him another chance. When they were together last year he was way too controlling and jealous. She would never go back to him." I knew she was trying to reassure me, but Buffy was gone and she was with some whelp that I didn't know.
"He wouldn't hold her against her will right? I mean bloody Hell she's carrying my baby!"
"Spike don't worry about it. Buffy probably went to L.A. to just relax and have some time to think without anyone bugging her...or ignoring her." I looked at the ground ashamed of what I had put her through.
"I am just going to go to bed and deal with this in the morning. I'm so tired I can't think straight. I don't want a bunch on lovey dovey noises coming from your room Faith." I felt a small smile form on my lips as Angel blushed and Faith put on her award winning smile.
"Well I can't make any promises. I'm not very good at keeping my hands to myself these days." I looked over at Angel who was trying to keep Faith from rubbing him 'inappropriately'.
"Bloody hell Angel, you've got a great girl, don't drive her away just because I'm making you blush." I walked up to mine and Buffy's room only to find her scent flowering the small space. There were few clothing items of hers left in the closet and an ultrasound picture on the dresser. A little notepad was propped against the picture that read; 'A New Life'. She wrote that the day she found out our baby was alive again. I knew she prayed to some sort of goddess to guard the baby. I was awake I just never told her. Bloody hell I'm stupid.
The phone rang and startled me out of my thoughts. "'ello this is Spike."
"Hey Spike it's Buffy."
"Hey luv... where are you?"
"I'm on a plane to L.A. with Riley. I wanted to leave before you got back."
"Buffy pet I miss you so much. There's so many things I have to tell you."
"I miss you too Spike and I'd love to hear them, but I must be going soon..."
"No Buffy please you have to hear this."
"Goodbye Spike, I love you." She hung the phone up and I did the same, knowing there was nothing I could do. I heard giggling and a couple thumps from Faith's room and figured they didn't take me seriously. I turned up the radio and went to sleep. The next morning I awoke to the smell of pancakes and coffee. I felt no reason to get out of my bed. Buffy and my child were gone. My heart ached from ruining what I had and I hated myself. "Spike are you going to come down and eat?"
Dawn was at the door. "Hey Bit. I'll be down in a minute." She came over and sat on the bed.
"I miss her too Spike. But she would want you to eat." I smiled at her and realized Buffy was always trying to get me to go out and eat with her. With her weird cravings we would get Chinese, then ice cream! "So are you coming down?"
"Yeah I'm coming." I threw the blankets off and realized I had my same clothes on from the night before. Dawn and I walked out of the room and Joyce ran up and grabbed my leg.
"Where's Auntie Buffy and the b-bay?" She had tears in her eyes which made a few of my own crawl down my cheek.
"Auntie Buffy went on a little vacation, but her and the baby will be back soon. Then we will take you to get some ice cream like before." She was still attached to my leg and didn't let go. I ended up walking into the kitchen with her on my leg. "You know luv you can let go of my leg."
"I don't want you to go Uncle Spike, so I will hold your leg forever!" She smiled at me and I couldn't help but let a smile play along my lips.
Buffy's POV (in L.A.)
I sat on the small cot that Riley had set up for me. My room was really small, it reminded me of maybe just a big walk-in closet instead of an actual room. I didn't want to complain so I just nodded. Talking to Spike was so hard to do. God not only did I almost kill his baby, but now I took her away from him. In a month or so we were going to find out the real sex of the baby. He swore up and down it would be a boy. I laughed to myself thinking how funny it would be if it was a girl. He would have to admit he was wrong. I looked over at the clock and it was now 1 in the afternoon. I wanted so bad to call Spike again, but Riley said it would only hurt him to hear my voice, but not have me. I didn't know if that was true or not. Seeing how Spike had been ignoring me... this would just make life easier for him.
"Buffy are you hungry because I can make some food?"
"No, but thanks anyways. I'm just going to call Spike real quick." I noticed Riley shift uncomfortably. "I know you don't want me calling him, but I have to. This is his child."
"You owe him nothing Buffy. Especially if he treated you the way you said he did." I couldn't believe Riley was trying to convince me not to speak to the father of my baby and boyfriend. Wait... did he still think of himself as my boyfriend?
"Listen Riley I need to call him and I'm going to. I have my cell phone so you won't get a bill." He nodded and walked out of the room. I dialed the house and heard Dawn pick up.
"Hello this is Loraine's residence."
"Hey Dawn it's me Buffy."
The line was silent for a while and I wasn't sure if she was mad, shocked, or sad. "Where are you Buffy? I miss you so much." I could hear her choke up on tears and I knew it would be better if she was just mad.
"I'm with a friend in L.A. I miss you too Dawn, but I had to visit home and think for a while. IS Spike there?"
"Yeah he's here. Let me go get him." I heard Dawn yell his name and little Joyce asking to talk to me.
"Auntie Buffy is that you?"
"Yeah sweetie it's me."
"When are you coming home?"
"In just a little while, why honey?"
"Because Uncle Spike promised me ice cream when you get back from your...v-va... well I don't know what but he said you and him will take me." I heard her sniffle back some tears and my heart broke.
"Well I will be back in a few months or so. But maybe Uncle Spike will take you before then."
"Alright Bit let me talk to Auntie Buffy." Spike was taking the phone from Joyce and I heard his deep soothing voice. "Buffy are you still there?"
"Yeah I'm here."
"Bloody hell there's someone on the other line...don't tell anyone about this and I won't answer it ok, luv?" He was acting better... like he didn't miss me at all.
"Right ok...anyways I called to say I arrived safely and everything."
"Well that's good. Do you have a decent place I could send you some money or you could just come back home..."
I stayed silent wanting so bad to just say ok, but I knew Spike blamed me and would leave me eventually. "I'm sorry Spike, but I can't come home. My place here with Riley is small... more like a big closet, but I'm not complaining."
"Buffy luv I need to tell you something. I didn't mean to ignore you for so long. God I love you so much and-"
"Spike stop right there. I know you blame me for what's happened so far. I know you blame me for almost losing our baby. So I can't come home, because I know you will eventually leave me and I can't deal with that. I am a strong person and I can be a single mom."
"Buffy you promised to never hurt me like Haley did. She killed my baby and now you're taking this one away! It's the same bloody thing in my eyes. I never blamed you for anything. I only blamed myself for letting you walk alone at night. I couldn't believe that I risked that and I could never confront you after that."
I heard Spike's words, but they just didn't get through to me. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to believe him, because inside I blamed myself for almost losing this precious life given to me and Spike. "I'm sorry I have to go... my... my cell phone is dying. I love you so much. I will send pictures form the ultrasounds and let you know the sex of the baby. Bye Spike, I hope you will someday forgive me for putting this baby in danger so long ago."
I hung up and threw the cell phone against the wall, watching all the small pieces fall to the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest and cried. I had ruined my life. And I knew Spike loved me and the baby... why couldn't I just accept that?
To Be Continued...
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Chapter 4
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
Summary: Faith and Buffy are Twin slayers who move to Sunny Dale with their sister Dawn. Now having to live with an aunt, they meet new people, one which they aren't pleased to see.
A Few Months Later
"Buffy will you please come in here for a minute?" My Aunt Loraine has been so annoying since she found out the baby was alive again.
"What is it now?" I walked into the kitchen where Aunt Loraine was tapping her foot on the tiled floor. "What did I do this time?"
"You ate all mustard and celery again! How am I supposed to fix sandwiches and a salad if everything's gone?"
"I'm sorry it's these stupid pregnancy cravings!" Spike came in and didn't say hi, just kept eating whatever he brought with him. "Hi honey, didn't you notice me?" He looked up at me and just smiled. He's been acting different since the baby came back. He was happy for a while, but went back to acting like it was just some … I'm not sure.
"Sweetie is something wrong between you and Spike?"
"I'm not sure." I left the kitchen and went into my bedroom to lie down. Spike shared the room with me and was in the corner with his headphones on. "Spike we need to talk."
He looked at me so I know he heard me, but just kept listening to his music. "That's just fine Spike. Why don't you just move out and leave me alone because you sure as hell aren't acting like you want to be this baby's father!" I walked out and slammed the door behind me.
I took a walk at the park not really knowing what I was going to do once I got back to the house. If only there was some way to just not go back and forget everything. I know I could raise this baby on my own. A familiar voice sent me out of my thoughts.
"Hey B Spike sent me to see what's wrong with you." Faith was looking at me with concern.
"Yeah well maybe Spike should have come himself. It's his baby and girlfriend he has been ignoring for the past three months."
"Alright well if you're sure I can't help I'm going to go back to the house. I'll see you around." After she left I continued walking down the little path that circled a sandbox full of toys. I sat on a bench and watched the little kids run around and go down the slides screaming with joy. My hand traveled down to my swollen stomach and felt content with the life growing inside of me. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and looked back.
"Riley what are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. Faith called a couple weeks ago and said you could see an old friend." I saw his gaze drift down to my stomach and his eyes were wide.
"So I can see she didn't tell you about my pregnancy."
"Um… no she seemed to leave that part out. But that's Faith for you. Only tells you some of the story. So where's the father?"
"He's at home being a stubborn jerk." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I just want to leave Sunny Dale and forget any of this happened. It would be a lot better than him leaving me eventually."
Riley had now sat down beside me. "Now why would he leave such an amazing and beautiful woman who is carrying the most precious thing life has to give?"
"Because I almost lost the baby and he blames me and he hasn't stopped." A silent tear made its way down my cheek, but I found a warm hand to brush it away. Then Riley leaned in and kissed me. I pulled back, shocked by his gesture.
"I'm sorry was that wrong of me to do?"
"Well yes it was. I am still with Spike even though he is ignoring me, but I will not cheat on him."
"I'm sorry Buffy, I'm gonna go. I'm staying in a motel; Faith has the number and room number if you feel like visiting some time. I'm here for a few days." He started to walk off.
"Riley can you leave earlier than that? Like today?"
"Listen Buffy I know you don't want me here because I made a move on you, but I didn't think you would make me leave."
"I just meant that I want to go with you. Sunny Dale no longer has anything to offer me. I may not cheat on Spike, but I can leave him and stop him from leaving me." Riley was shocked but nodded.
"Call me once your things are together. Ill pick you up late tonight, there's a plane at 11."
"Thank you Riley." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and walked home. I opened the door to find Faith and Angel on the couch making out. "Whoa you two need to get a room."
Angel got up and turned a bright red. Faith just stayed on the couch and watched Angel get embarrassed. "Buffy we didn't know you would be here so soon." I smiled at how he was reacting.
"Angel it's ok. We are all grown up around here and I know what it's like to have feelings for someone."
"Yeah B. but we're only making out." She winked at me and I caught the joke.
"Well I'm going upstairs to take a nap so please don't come up and disturb me. I want a nice long rest."
"Alright, but hey Spike's up there waiting for you." I walked up to my room and waited in front of the door before opening it. 'How am I going to get my things together if he's in there waiting to talk to me?' I thought to myself and then opened the door.
"Hey pet didn't think you were ever coming back." Spike was on the bed with one of our recent ultrasound pics. "I was afraid you really wanted me to leave."
"No Spike I don't want you to leave. You should stay." He never looked up at me. Just fiddled with the picture. "You've been ignoring me ever since we lost the baby, then got her back."
"Yeah well it's hard for me to handle! This isn't bloody easy!"
"What isn't easy Spike?"
"All of it, I just don't want to talk about it right now. I'm going out for a while. I'll see you when I get back." He put on his leather jacket.
"No you might not see me."
"What does that mean?"
"Just nothing…" He finally looked at me and I saw the hurt in his eyes and the pain. There have been so many feelings I never saw before. Feelings he wouldn't let me see.
He walked out and I took this to my advantage to get my things together. I cried the whole time, but never thought about staying. I knew this was for the better. Spike would leave me or if he didn't he would blame me for the rest of our lives. As I finished I took one last look around the room and went out the window. Riley's car was a little down the street and then we left. Never to return again.
Spike's POV
I walked into the house a couple hours after leaving to find Dawn in tears and Aunt Loraine talking furiously on the phone. "What's the matter with the old bint?"
"Well it seems that Buffy didn't want to cause us anymore trouble or pain. She left a separate letter for you Spike." Dawn told me through heavy sobs.
"What do you mean left a letter for me?"
"She left Spike! Buffy left us all!" Dawn ran into up to her room and Faith was huddled into Angel's chest.
I looked down at the letter and my hands were shaking. I slowly opened the pink stationary that was sealed with an imprint of her lips with the lip gloss I told her looked nice. I read the letter slowly, trying to get all that she was saying.
Dear Spike,
I'm so sorry I had to leave, but I couldn't stay any longer. You were constantly ignoring me and when I finally looked into your eyes today I saw all the pain and anger you were hiding. I saw it all. I'm sorry for almost losing our baby; I know you haven't stopped blaming me. You only stuck around for the baby's sake. I can't be in a family like that. So I'm leaving before you have to leave me. I'm sorry it ended this way. I love you with all my heart and this baby will know her father. I have to go now. I'll try to contact you later. Once more… I love you.
Love,
Buffy
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized what I had done to her. Shutting her out of my world was not the answer that I thought it had been. I never blamed her for one second. God I thought she knew that. I always blamed myself. Here I had everything in my life going great, then endanger it by letting her walk home alone in the dark. It was my fault. And now my love and my child were gone. "Spike are you there?"
Faith was waving her hand in front of my face. "Sorry pet didn't me to…ignore you. God I can't believe I did this to her!"
"Spike this isn't your fault in any way. She thought you were blaming her; she just misunderstood your feelings. Buffy will be back, just give her some time. B isn't the type to just up and leave forever." I nodded and Faith gave me a quick hug before returning to Angel's arms.
"You don't have any idea where she might be?"
"No I don't know… I'll go call Riley. He saw her today at the park. Maybe he will know." Faith picked up the phone and started to dial a number.
"Hello is Riley Finn still checked in?" There was a pause then she started talking again. "Oh ok thank you anyways." She hung the phone up and yelled a few cuss words about Riley. "He checked out a few minutes ago with a young blonde woman. I can't believe Riley would do this!"
"Where are they going?"
"Probably back to L.A. Riley has had the hots for Buffy ever since he first saw her. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't miss this as a chance to finally get her again. It doesn't matter whose child she's carrying."
"That bloody ponce is taking my girlfriend and my baby so he can have a chance with her?"
"I'm sorry Spike. But Buffy isn't interested in Riley and won't give him another chance. When they were together last year he was way too controlling and jealous. She would never go back to him." I knew she was trying to reassure me, but Buffy was gone and she was with some whelp that I didn't know.
"He wouldn't hold her against her will right? I mean bloody Hell she's carrying my baby!"
"Spike don't worry about it. Buffy probably went to L.A. to just relax and have some time to think without anyone bugging her...or ignoring her." I looked at the ground ashamed of what I had put her through.
"I am just going to go to bed and deal with this in the morning. I'm so tired I can't think straight. I don't want a bunch on lovey dovey noises coming from your room Faith." I felt a small smile form on my lips as Angel blushed and Faith put on her award winning smile.
"Well I can't make any promises. I'm not very good at keeping my hands to myself these days." I looked over at Angel who was trying to keep Faith from rubbing him 'inappropriately'.
"Bloody hell Angel, you've got a great girl, don't drive her away just because I'm making you blush." I walked up to mine and Buffy's room only to find her scent flowering the small space. There were few clothing items of hers left in the closet and an ultrasound picture on the dresser. A little notepad was propped against the picture that read; 'A New Life'. She wrote that the day she found out our baby was alive again. I knew she prayed to some sort of goddess to guard the baby. I was awake I just never told her. Bloody hell I'm stupid.
The phone rang and startled me out of my thoughts. "'ello this is Spike."
"Hey Spike it's Buffy."
"Hey luv... where are you?"
"I'm on a plane to L.A. with Riley. I wanted to leave before you got back."
"Buffy pet I miss you so much. There's so many things I have to tell you."
"I miss you too Spike and I'd love to hear them, but I must be going soon..."
"No Buffy please you have to hear this."
"Goodbye Spike, I love you." She hung the phone up and I did the same, knowing there was nothing I could do. I heard giggling and a couple thumps from Faith's room and figured they didn't take me seriously. I turned up the radio and went to sleep. The next morning I awoke to the smell of pancakes and coffee. I felt no reason to get out of my bed. Buffy and my child were gone. My heart ached from ruining what I had and I hated myself. "Spike are you going to come down and eat?"
Dawn was at the door. "Hey Bit. I'll be down in a minute." She came over and sat on the bed.
"I miss her too Spike. But she would want you to eat." I smiled at her and realized Buffy was always trying to get me to go out and eat with her. With her weird cravings we would get Chinese, then ice cream! "So are you coming down?"
"Yeah I'm coming." I threw the blankets off and realized I had my same clothes on from the night before. Dawn and I walked out of the room and Joyce ran up and grabbed my leg.
"Where's Auntie Buffy and the b-bay?" She had tears in her eyes which made a few of my own crawl down my cheek.
"Auntie Buffy went on a little vacation, but her and the baby will be back soon. Then we will take you to get some ice cream like before." She was still attached to my leg and didn't let go. I ended up walking into the kitchen with her on my leg. "You know luv you can let go of my leg."
"I don't want you to go Uncle Spike, so I will hold your leg forever!" She smiled at me and I couldn't help but let a smile play along my lips.
Buffy's POV (in L.A.)
I sat on the small cot that Riley had set up for me. My room was really small, it reminded me of maybe just a big walk-in closet instead of an actual room. I didn't want to complain so I just nodded. Talking to Spike was so hard to do. God not only did I almost kill his baby, but now I took her away from him. In a month or so we were going to find out the real sex of the baby. He swore up and down it would be a boy. I laughed to myself thinking how funny it would be if it was a girl. He would have to admit he was wrong. I looked over at the clock and it was now 1 in the afternoon. I wanted so bad to call Spike again, but Riley said it would only hurt him to hear my voice, but not have me. I didn't know if that was true or not. Seeing how Spike had been ignoring me... this would just make life easier for him.
"Buffy are you hungry because I can make some food?"
"No, but thanks anyways. I'm just going to call Spike real quick." I noticed Riley shift uncomfortably. "I know you don't want me calling him, but I have to. This is his child."
"You owe him nothing Buffy. Especially if he treated you the way you said he did." I couldn't believe Riley was trying to convince me not to speak to the father of my baby and boyfriend. Wait... did he still think of himself as my boyfriend?
"Listen Riley I need to call him and I'm going to. I have my cell phone so you won't get a bill." He nodded and walked out of the room. I dialed the house and heard Dawn pick up.
"Hello this is Loraine's residence."
"Hey Dawn it's me Buffy."
The line was silent for a while and I wasn't sure if she was mad, shocked, or sad. "Where are you Buffy? I miss you so much." I could hear her choke up on tears and I knew it would be better if she was just mad.
"I'm with a friend in L.A. I miss you too Dawn, but I had to visit home and think for a while. IS Spike there?"
"Yeah he's here. Let me go get him." I heard Dawn yell his name and little Joyce asking to talk to me.
"Auntie Buffy is that you?"
"Yeah sweetie it's me."
"When are you coming home?"
"In just a little while, why honey?"
"Because Uncle Spike promised me ice cream when you get back from your...v-va... well I don't know what but he said you and him will take me." I heard her sniffle back some tears and my heart broke.
"Well I will be back in a few months or so. But maybe Uncle Spike will take you before then."
"Alright Bit let me talk to Auntie Buffy." Spike was taking the phone from Joyce and I heard his deep soothing voice. "Buffy are you still there?"
"Yeah I'm here."
"Bloody hell there's someone on the other line...don't tell anyone about this and I won't answer it ok, luv?" He was acting better... like he didn't miss me at all.
"Right ok...anyways I called to say I arrived safely and everything."
"Well that's good. Do you have a decent place I could send you some money or you could just come back home..."
I stayed silent wanting so bad to just say ok, but I knew Spike blamed me and would leave me eventually. "I'm sorry Spike, but I can't come home. My place here with Riley is small... more like a big closet, but I'm not complaining."
"Buffy luv I need to tell you something. I didn't mean to ignore you for so long. God I love you so much and-"
"Spike stop right there. I know you blame me for what's happened so far. I know you blame me for almost losing our baby. So I can't come home, because I know you will eventually leave me and I can't deal with that. I am a strong person and I can be a single mom."
"Buffy you promised to never hurt me like Haley did. She killed my baby and now you're taking this one away! It's the same bloody thing in my eyes. I never blamed you for anything. I only blamed myself for letting you walk alone at night. I couldn't believe that I risked that and I could never confront you after that."
I heard Spike's words, but they just didn't get through to me. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to believe him, because inside I blamed myself for almost losing this precious life given to me and Spike. "I'm sorry I have to go... my... my cell phone is dying. I love you so much. I will send pictures form the ultrasounds and let you know the sex of the baby. Bye Spike, I hope you will someday forgive me for putting this baby in danger so long ago."
I hung up and threw the cell phone against the wall, watching all the small pieces fall to the floor. I pulled my knees up to my chest and cried. I had ruined my life. And I knew Spike loved me and the baby... why couldn't I just accept that?
To Be Continued...
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