Chapter 4: The Sun Goes Down

Spinelli couldn't believe what she had just heard. She didn't want to believe it. She prayed that what she had heard was a mistake made by the news channel. The anchor had read the name wrong; there was another Theodore J. Detwieller, the source had been wrong. Spinelli tried to convince herself that one of these were true but in her hear she knew they weren't. The anchor had even gotten TJ's unit correct, the 504th Infantry.

The three guys had all come rushing out of their rooms at the sound of the crash to see if everything was all right. Seeing Gretchen comforting Spinelli the guys wondered what had happened. Moments later the news anchor recapped the headlines going as far as mentioning TJ being among the casualties.

The guys didn't know what to do. There wasn't much they could do so they left Gretchen to comfort Spinelli and went back to their rooms to get fully dressed. For a second Gus had thought of mentioning that the army used the term causality for wounded as well as killed but thinking that there wasn't much hope from what the report had said Gus had decided not to raise hope only to hope in vain.

Summer flew by in a blur of events that Spinelli couldn't remember. Most of the time she kept up her tough girl act at work and at home for the gang but once alone she would go to her room and look at old pictures of the gang when they were together, when TJ was younger, happier, and the leader of the gang.

A bright light glared into TJ's eyes. 'Am I dead?' TJ tried shifting around and felt the soreness of muscles and the painful complaints of open wounds. Willing himself to sit up TJ tiredly forced himself to a sitting position and looked around him. The stench of death was heavy in the air and the bodies were strewn around him. Slowly TJ crawled back into his hole before checking himself for injuries.

He was fine save the wounds he had already gotten. Leaning back against an old bit of wall TJ thought back on what had happened. He remembered feeling the impact of the bullet followed by the sound of the gun going off. So why wasn't he dead he wondered. Patting himself down TJ felt around the inside of his uniform and found a large bundle of paper sitting in an inside pocket near his heart. There in the middle of the bundled papers was the round from the AK-47 that was buried deep inside the bundle. Taking the thick bound papers apart TJ saw that he had been two sheets of paper away from death. Looking at the papers TJ saw that they were all the letters the gang and Spinelli had sent him.

Re-bundling the letters TJ leaned his head against the wall and laughed. Two sheets of paper, just two. Reaching into his uniform TJ put the letters back and took off a gold chain that had a locket in it that he wore along with his dog tags. Opening it TJ looked at the small pictures inside. One side had a picture of the old gang right before they had all gone off to the High School Prom. Right before he had kissed her. Her. Spinelli was the centerpiece of the other picture. It was a solo portrait of her in the flowing red dress she had worn to the Prom. She was looking over her shoulder at the camera and had a few strands of raven black hair framing her face. The rest was flowing down her back in a silky black waterfall coming down to the middle of her back.

She had been so beautiful that night, the night he had screwed up the courage to kiss her. TJ remembered the kiss well. They had just finished the last slow dance of the night. Spinelli was in his arms and had looked up into his eyes. Right then TJ had leaned down and kissed her softly. TJ kept the kiss short but meaningful. It was a kiss that told Spinelli that he loved her but it also told her good bye.

Ever since the death of his mother he had been planning to enlist. Hopefully he could leave, get away from it all, maybe do something worthwhile and get killed at the same time.

But fate had him only getting wounded, promoted, becoming a hero and letting him live. He had been save by just two thin sheets of paper. Perhaps it was a sign that he wasn't meant to die here.

The sound of vehicles rolling up broke TJ's thoughts and put him on alert. He listened as doors opened and closed and boots crunched the ground beneath them as they drew closer and closer to were he was.

Quickly standing up in his hole TJ had the man in his sights and nearly pulled the trigger before realizing the uniform the man wore was US army. TJ let out a sigh of bitter relief. Reinforcements had finally arrived but after the battle. Someone at the base was going to have to face his wrath in explaining how that had happened.

TJ jumped out of his hole and walked by the soldiers who saluted him before going about the business of getting the dog tags of the dead. Coming out of the wrecked alleyway that had been home for the last 10 hours TJ saw a score of vehicles all marked US Army. Jumping into a Hummer TJ told the driver to simply driver and rode back to the base in silence.

Chapter 5: Remembering

Spinelli couldn't help it. Even though she knew he was dead she would still pull out her photo album and cry over the pictures of him in his prime. That was when Spinelli like to remember him as a friend. He was still with the group, not being beaten, his family alive and TJ was her best friend. Back then they were young and didn't have to deal with complicated emotions such as grief, rage, anger, love.

Spinelli wasn't even sure if TJ had ever like her the same way she did but she had known well before the "kissing experiment" in 4th grade that Gretchen had made them do since they had the closest bond that transcended the gender gap. Even before that fateful day Spinelli had known that the only one on this earth that was for her was TJ.

That day Spinelli had resisted as much as she could much like TJ did she had found out later. She had been afraid to go through with the kiss for several reasons. There was her reputation that she had to keep up, the slight fear of not knowing how to kiss at the time and the MAJOR fear that this kiss would somehow end the friendship that she had with TJ.

Spinelli remembered the kiss and the immediate events that followed. The kiss had been so soft and gentle like the one TJ had given her at the dance only it lacked the emotion of the later kiss. Spinelli had even kissed back a little in that quick kiss they had shared in front of the school. Spinelli had enjoyed the kiss and she thought TJ had too from the way he had looked at her afterwards. But then there were appearances to keep up on both ends and they had told everyone it was disgusting, terrible, everything but the truth. Even so the things TJ had said had stung a bit but Spinelli knew that he had to say what he had said. However TJ never did anything extraordinarily friendly with over the years of middle school and high school until that night at the dance. That always made Spinelli try to strain her memory to see what was in TJ's eyes that day on the playground. Had she just been a close friend or had the boy she had had a crush on, could it have been possible that he had had a crush on her?

Too lost in her thoughts of him Spinelli failed to hear the tap at her door or the door opening to admit someone. Spinelli just felt the comforting arms of a friend encircle her and give her a comforting hug.

"You can't keep on like this." Gretchen said quietly into Spinelli's ear.

Spinelli closed the book and sniveled. She drew her knees up and hugged her legs pressing the booked between her knees and bosom.

"I know but it's just so hard. I never got to tell him how I felt." Spinelli choked out as she tried to stem the flow of tears and fail miserably.

"Shhhh.... I'm sure he knew." Gretchen said only realizing too late that it wasn't the smartest thing to say. It did make Spinelli stop crying for the moment though.

"He... KNEW! And he didn't do anything about it?!" Spinelli said in a spur of anger.

"Well..." Gretchen started.

"Gretchen." Spinelli gave her a hard stare that lost its effect due to Spinelli's red shot eyes.

"Look," Gretchen took Spinelli's hand in both of her own. "I'm not sure if he did but he wasn't stupid or that thick. Especially after our junior year in high school. Vince thinks that he might have known."

"He... knew?" Now it was said with a tone of disappointment instead of anger. "Why didn't he make a move or something?" Spinelli directed the question to more towards herself instead of Gretchen.

"Perhaps for the same reason you never told him you had a crush on him. Now it's time for bed. You have work in the morning." Gretchen said firmly as she forcibly parted the photo album from Spinelli's grasp.

TJ sat on the medical table and just kept as he had his cheek stitched up. Another scar was all TJ had thought of it.

"So how am I doc?" TJ asked the doctor.

"One tough bastard, that's for sure. You'll be fine. Just get some rest and come back in a couple of weeks to get the stitches."

TJ nodded his head in acknowledgement as he got out of the field hospital. Now that he was patched up he had just one more piece of business to deal with.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. Keep them coming, please. Thanks to Rosie who is my beta on this fic as well. Also please feel free to make suggestions about the story or characters. I'm basing most of this on imagination and what I have read since I the last time I saw Recess in any animated version was in 98. Thanks again, now click that little button and tell me what you guys think. LockDown out...