Chapter 7: Suicide Talk

The date was sometime in mid September. School was around the bend once again, fall was at it's height with the leaves falling in a flurry of gold, reds, oranges, painting the ground the many colors of dying slender that only fall could paint it.

It was early morning; the sun was just rising over the distant horizon, when he went up there. On a Saturday morning many were sleeping in, including her. She was sleeping in the room across from his.

He looked out over the sleeping houses and looked up at the sun that was creeping over the horizon. Dawn. He laughed bitterly. The dawn of his life had finally come along. He had friends, family, he was popular, and most importantly he had her. The one thing that he wanted most he had finally gotten. Then he had had to go and screw it up.

He closed his eyes, and groaned in his hands thinking of that night. It had been wonderful until he realized what he had done, why she had been crying, why she was avoiding him. He fished around in his pant pocket and pulled out the pregnancy test. Blue, positive. He groaned again. How could he have been so stupid? He punched his forehead in his anger.

What had he done? He have raped and impregnated the only girl he had ever loved. How could he ever face her again? He was disgusted and furious with himself. He was supposed to prevent that sort of thing from happening, not be the one doing it.

He would do it. He would just do it. Taking a last look over the buildings he spread his arms... The time was 6:14 am...

The previous day at 10:29 pm...

TJ stepped out on to the curb and hailed down a cab. The world here so much bigger, louder, careless and free unlike the place he had just been. Even so TJ was glad to be in a place that didn't require him to be wary of militants or the like. Here he only had the bad air, traffic and gangs. None of them bothered him. What bothered him was why had he come back to here? The place he had wanted to escape from nearly 4 years ago. From the thing he wanted but couldn't have.

TJ got into the cab and gave the driver the address to his house...

BEEP! BEEP! Beeeep… Cried out Spinelli's new alarm clock until it met a similar fate as her old one.

"Must you smash every single clock you get?" Gretchen inquired as she got up.

"Too early." Spinelli mumbled against her pillow.

"Come on, get up. We have to make breakfast, well lunch and do the shopping. I want to get another one to be sure. I want to be sure before I say anything to Vince." Gretchen told Spinelli as she made her half of the bed.

"Will you just tell him already?! You've taken a test and you've haven't had your period for this month…" Spinelli told Gretchen as she got up grudgingly.

"Don't! remind me! Just don't say anything about it okay?!" Gretchen snapped at Spinelli. Realizing what she had just done Gretchen covered her mouth with her hand.

"Listen, it'll be okay. Vince will take care of you. We both know he loves you and will support you." Spinelli told Gretchen as she went over to the over side of the bed and gave her friend a comforting hug.

Yes the news had been shocking especially coming from Gretchen of all people. Neither of them had expected that Spinelli would be the first one of them to be in the position that Gretchen was in now; still in school and pregnant. And for some reason both of them were avoiding each other. Spinelli knew Gretchen's reason but couldn't think of Vince's. Still Spinelli couldn't help be feel a little jealous. Before Gretchen had just had a boyfriend that really cared about her but now she was pregnant with the child of her lover. Even though the timing was bad Spinelli knew that Gretchen and Vince would be able to work it out once Gretchen worked up the nerve to tell him that they were going to be the first parents of the gang.

That was what made Spinelli jealous; the fact that Gretchen was going to be a mother, that Gretchen had a boyfriend that loved her while Spinelli's love waited for her beyond the grave.

Thinking of that made Spinelli sad as she hugged and comforted her friend. Gretchen had Vince after all those years but she could never have her TJ. She had nothing to remember him by but her photos and memories. They hadn't sent his body or bones home, any medals or awards nothing. The only explanation that Gus could offer was that since he was the last of his family they didn't send his things to them or his things had been sent to other relatives.

"Come on, Gretch, we have things to do."

TJ hadn't done it. Instead of going to his house he went to the old fort that the gang had built in the small woods near his house. He had been as close as about to knock on the door but hadn't been able to. He had lost his nerve at the prospect of seeing her. Why should he spend his vacation seeing the people he didn't have the right to be around, especially her.

Instead he had spent the day fixing up the fort and making it livable by military standards at least. Over the weeks he planned to turn the old log place into a small house in the middle of the little forest but for that day he just did a quick patch-up job to make it more secure for the night. Tomorrow he could go into the city and buy furniture, buy building supplies and get all the legal permits. Perhaps he could buy a car as well. TJ was well ware that he had money. The interest of his things in the market had made nearly a quarter million since he just let the money turn over. On top of that he had his salary that he had hardly touched in his years of service. Perhaps it was time to open up the purse strings a bit and live a little before he went back on active duty.

Once TJ had sorted things out and made plans he checked into a hotel for the night. After his six hours of sleep he got up and went up to the top of the Belfry tower of the local colleges theatre. On many occasions TJ had gone up there to watch the sun rise and set, the display calming him temporarily before he would go back to the place people called "home."

By 6:00 am TJ was up there eating his breakfast MRE waiting for the sun to come up when Vince of all people walked through the door. Since TJ had his back against the wall and was sitting Vince didn't notice him. TJ just watched as Vince slowly raise his arms...

Short yes, but I wanted to see reactions. The completion of this little drama should be done in about a day or so now that I have a little breather in the HW.