December 23—He Loves U Not
"Leave me alone!"
"Come on, Remus, don't deny it!"
"Deny! Don't make me laugh! I don't have to deny that I hate you!"
"Stop playing. Just admit you love me."
"Now it's love? Two seconds ago it was like."
"You know you love me."
"You are incorrigible!"
Remus bolted out the door. He was in such a hurry to get away he didn't realize Sirius and James laughing behind the other wall. Remus quickened his pace to a run when he heard the person he was trying to escape from coming after him.
"That must be Lara." James whispered, covering his laugh with his hand.
"Must be," Sirius smiled, "She's pretty."
"Pretty annoying." They laughed. "Moony wasn't kidding when he said she was the biggest pain. I feel sorry for him."
"I feel his pain," Sirius said frowning from the memories. "Remember Farrington?"
"Oh yeah... Janie Farrington—loved you, stalked you, of course I remember. She would take pictures of you when you were least expecting it. I saw some of the photos, and they didn't do you any justice at all."
"You saw them! Please tell me you burned them!"
"Of course I did..." James winked, "...not. I made copies of them instead for blackmail."
"Why you little—"Sirius lunged for James who got out of the way and ran down the hallway hoping to find Remus before Sirius could kill him. James almost ran into a maid, apologized, and continued to search for his other friend, while Sirius was gaining distance rapidly. James heard a crash and turned around breathing heavily.
"I'm sorry," Sirius was saying to a woman while helping her up. She must've been carrying a bunch of papers because they were spread across the floor in disarray. "I'm truly sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going—"
"It's okay." Her voice was burdened with a deep accent. "I just would like to know who you are and," She glanced at James, "him as well."
"We're friends of Remus'. I'm Sirius, he's James." Sirius held out his hand but she didn't take it. Instead, she picked up the remainder of the notes.
"Laissez-le soin à Remus d'avoir des amis sans aucune manières." She walked away without another word. (Leave it to Remus to have friends without any manners.)
"Good job, Padfoot." He said sarcastically. "She hates us, whoever she is."
Sirius just shrugged. "Can't win 'em all."
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Found Remus." Sirius announced following the protests from his friend.
"No! No! No! No! NO!" Getting closer.
"I said stop!" Even closer.
"Get away!"
"In here," James whispered pointing to a door. James tried it but found it locked. "Now what?"
"Move over." Sirius pulled out a hairpin.
"Where did you get that?" James asked. He watched Sirius insert the pin in the keyhole and move it around. Sirius seemed to know what he was doing.
"Doesn't matter where."
"Where did you learn that?"
Sirius grinned. "Taught myself when I was younger so I could sneak into my mum's cabinet full of candy."
"Always were a marauder, huh?"
"Born with the trait." There was a short click as the door unlocked. "Do you realize they stopped talking?"
"Probably heard us. Moony has good hearing."
"Uh huh." Sirius pushed the door wide open and found Remus—kissing? Not only that, but the girl wasn't the same one he was yelling at earlier, and this girl was trying to get beneath his clothes.
Remus saw them instantly and sprang away his face turning deep red.
"Are we interrupting?" Sirius asked as calmly as he could without a blush creeping onto his face and a smile. James, on the other hand, was stifling laughter unsuccessfully. The girl had a goofy, pleased smile on her face—making Remus the only one not amused.
"Who's she, Remus?" James questioned.
The girl walked over to James. "Zoe Lefebvre." She kissed him on the cheek.
"James Potter. Nice to meet you." Zoe then turned to Sirius and had to stand on her tiptoes to give him a kiss.
"You're very handsome." She giggled and grabbed his left hand and held it with hers. She opened her mouth to speak but Remus tore her away from Sirius first.
Pointing to each person he said, "James—Zoe–Sirius. Now everyone knows who's who—get out." He pushed her out the door firmly. She turned around angrily but got a door slammed in her face.
"What's your problem, Moony?" Sirius asked a bit irate. "You should be nicer to your girlfriend."
"What gave you the idea I was dating her!"
"Uh, I dunno," James put on a satirical face, "Maybe it was the fact you were kissing her and her hand was in your—"
"Stop! Nothing would've happened...She, um, forced me..." He said the last part more quietly.
"She forced you!" Sirius laughed, "Moony, whether you like it or not, that's not possible. You can beat me and Prong's arses any day in wrestling—so why couldn't you push her off?" Remus didn't answer.
"He didn't want to...He liked it!" James concluded.
"No," Remus said lamely. "I didn't like it."
"No, of course not." James corrected himself. "you loved it!" Remus pushed him hard into the wall.
"No, my dear Prongs. I hated it, I hate her, and hate her stupid little sister who's listening in!" Remus sneered. "Come out, Brigitte."
There was a rustle in the closet and a girl a little younger than Zoe stepped out, blushing and scared. Remus advanced to her.
"Why were you in there?"
"I was stuck."
"Then how did you just come out?"
"I—"She appeared defeated. "I just wanted to see if you like my sister better." She had tears forming in her eyes, but Remus stayed firm.
"I hate you both."
"Remus John Lupin!"
"Shit." Remus turned around and saw his mother standing between Sirius and James, Lara and Zoe peeking behind her with false, upset faces.
"Tu ne dis jamais quelque chose comme ça à personne, peut importe ce que c'est!" (You never say anything like that to anyone, no matter what!) She grabbed him hard on the shoulders and took him out of the room.
"I've never seen him act out his much before." Sirius commented to himself.
"Really?" Lara asked, twirling her blonde hair. "What's he like at Hogwarts then?"
"More quiet and reserved." James answered. The three girls giggled.
"Are you sure that you're talking about my Remus?"
"Pretty sure."
"Wait!" Zoe halted, looking at Lara. "Did you just say /your/ Remus?"
"So. He is mine."
"You weren't the one kissing him five minutes ago!"
"QUOI! Comment as-tu osé! Il est à moi, pas à toi! Reste loin!" (WHAT! How could you! He's mine, not yours! Stay away!)
"Whatever Lara! He loves me not you!"
"ME!"
"ME!"
Sirius and James exchanged baffled looks. "Riiiiight..."
The girls continued bantering right until Remus walked back into the room.
"Oh Remy! What happened?" Lara rubbed her hand on his back lovingly. He shrugged her off and turned to the youngest girl. "I'm sorry Brigitte. I didn't mean it. I was just a little frustrated."
Sirius could've sworn he heard the words, 'but I do hate you.'
/God, can this guy be anymore idiotic/ Sirius thought while listening to Remus' cousin, Nicolas, barrel though his speech about how women were worthless.
"And they do nothing but complain—"
"Hey, Nicolas," Sirius interrupted, "How do you know all this stuff if you've never been with a girl in your entire life?"
Nicolas looked dumfounded and was at a loss for words.
Sirius snickered. "That's what I thought." Sirius laced his fingers together and put them behind his head. To his side, Remus was smiling broadly.
"It's about time someone got him to shut up." Remus whispered into Sirius' ear. Nicolas kept opening his mouth and shutting it like a fish out of water, which seemed to make Remus even more cheerful. Nicolas eyebrows creased in confusion while he walked off, talking to himself.
Remus burst into laughter the moment he turned the corner. "That's was fantastic, Sirius! Never in my entire existence have I been able to stun him like you just did!"
"You can repay me later." Sirius gazed into Remus' golden orbs.
"Repay...you? How?" Remus seemed a little apprehensive at any sign of Sirius' mind going at work.
"You will see, my dear friend, you will see." Sirius leapt out of the couch and strode to the staircase. "I may even help you with your little L-B-Z problem."
"L-B-Z? What's that?"
"Lara, Brigitte, Zoe, of course." Sirius' eyes sparkled with a mischievous glint.
"Of course..." Remus looked at nothing in particular, just thinking about what Sirius could plan up.
But Sirius knew Remus would never guess correctly.