Janet frowned when she walked into Daniel's room about ten minutes later.
"What are you doing?"
He was panting and grimacing with pain – understandably, since he'd somehow managed to roll himself over onto his back, which had to hurt even without all the effort of actually moving his aching body that much. He was now resting all his weight on those half-healed burns on his legs and lower back, and that had to really hurt.
"I'm tired of looking at the floor," Daniel said, his voice pained and breathless.
"You should have said something."
"I didn't want to bother you."
"That was dumb, Daniel."
He nodded and closed his eyes, trying to get his back to stop hurting. At least his broken arm and leg were in casts – although he'd almost gotten stuck trying to roll over that leg.
"Yeah, I know… I'm sorry."
Janet came over and did a little rearranging for him. She shuffled some of her softest pillows under his legs to ease the strain of the burns and then did the same with his lower back.
"You really could have damaged your legs, Daniel," she scolded when she was finished. "You could have hurt yourself."
"I think I did…"
Her irritated look softened a bit. He did look miserable. She sighed and put her hand on his cheek.
"Next time ask me, first. Okay?"
He nodded and closed his eyes tightly for a minute, trying to force the aching to go away.
"Colonel O'Neill said you needed something?" Janet asked, reaching over and taking a cloth from a bowl of cool water and wiping his sweaty face carefully with it.
Daniel reached up with his left hand – the unbroken one – and caught her hand, wincing because it hurt, but wanting to be in actual contact with her when he talked to her. She raised an eyebrow at that, and stopped what she was doing.
"What's wrong, Daniel?"
"I'm not going to die, right?"
"Right."
"You're sure?"
Why did it seem to him he'd already had this conversation? Maybe because he'd dreamed he had?
"I'm positive," She told him; fairly certain where this was leading. They'd already had this conversation once, after all.
"We need to talk, then…"
"About what, Daniel?" She wanted to make sure that what he thought they needed to talk about was the same thing that he'd thought they needed to talk about the last time he brought up the subject.
He hesitated, unsure of how to begin, even though he'd run the conversation through his mind a million times.
"Do… have you ever wished you'd told someone something… and then had it be too late by the time you decided to?"
Janet sat down carefully on the edge of his bed, and lowered his hand to rest it on his stomach where he wouldn't be straining his sore muscles to hold it up. He had such a tight hold on her, though, that she ended up resting her hand on his.
"I'm not sure exactly what you mean, Daniel… You're talking about regrets?"
"Yeah."
Fraiser shrugged.
"I've had my share of them, yes. Why do you ask?"
"When I was with Melony, and we were getting ready for the ambush, she told me she was going to send off a message for Jack and Major Anderson. She asked me if there was anything I wanted to send." He paused, catching his breath, but Janet took it as a break in the conversation.
"And was there?"
He nodded.
"I wanted to send you a message."
"Daniel…"
"Janet." He interrupted her, wanting to say what he had to say. "Let me finish, okay? Please?"
She looked like she was going to say something, but she nodded, instead, and Daniel took a deep breath.
"I wanted to send you a message… telling you how… what I felt. How I felt. I had a lot of time on the ship to think, and to realize who I was missing the most… and it was you." He wondered if that came out sounding as dumb as he thought it sounded. "I love you, Janet… I just want you to know that."
He looked up at her, although she was still slightly blurry – he didn't think it was really the best time to ask her for his glasses, though.
Janet couldn't help but blush, just a little. He was still on medication, yes, but she knew he was far more lucid than he'd been the last time he'd told her that. And that meant that chances were, he meant it. She squeezed his hand slightly, just enough that he could feel it, but nowhere near hard enough to hurt him.
Daniel wasn't done, yet, though. He didn't want her to feel obligated to reciprocate, just because of what he'd said, and he needed to clear the air before she said anything she didn't mean.
"I know it's probably out of the blue, and I'm sorry…" he told her. "And if you don't feel the same way, well… I understand. I won't be happy, but I won't go out and kill myself or anything."
Yeah, he probably could have put that a little smoother, but he was medicated, after all.
Janet smiled and shook her head.
"Why did it take you so long to say something?"
"What?"
"For a guy who's supposed to be so sharp, you're not all that observant, Daniel," she chided him, releasing his hand and placing it on his stomach once more, and leaning over to touch his cheek. "I had feelings for you forever… I've just been waiting for you to say something."
It took him a moment to digest what she was saying, but then he smiled, even though it hurt to.
"I should have said something a long time ago."
She nodded.
"So…?"
"So…?"
Daniel rolled his eyes.
"Do we have a chance?"
She smiled, and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. He'd been away too long, and needed a haircut.
"Yes, Daniel. We have a chance. We'll talk about it more later, though, okay? When you're feeling a little better and I don't have the memory of just how close I came to losing you fresh in my mind."
He nodded, unable to keep from smiling. He'd done it! And she hadn't shot him down. He couldn't wait to tell Melony.
"It can wait," he told her. They'd waited this long, after all.
"This can't, though." Janet said, leaning over and brushing a gentle kiss against his lips. A kiss that was over almost before it began, and yet one that lingered on Daniel's mouth even after she'd pulled away.
"I want you to go back to sleep, now." She told him. "And if sitting like that gets to painful, let me know and we'll put you back on your stomach."
"I will." He touched her hand again. "Will you stay with me? For a little while? Do you have time?"
Janet smiled.
"I'll stay."
"What are you doing?"
He was panting and grimacing with pain – understandably, since he'd somehow managed to roll himself over onto his back, which had to hurt even without all the effort of actually moving his aching body that much. He was now resting all his weight on those half-healed burns on his legs and lower back, and that had to really hurt.
"I'm tired of looking at the floor," Daniel said, his voice pained and breathless.
"You should have said something."
"I didn't want to bother you."
"That was dumb, Daniel."
He nodded and closed his eyes, trying to get his back to stop hurting. At least his broken arm and leg were in casts – although he'd almost gotten stuck trying to roll over that leg.
"Yeah, I know… I'm sorry."
Janet came over and did a little rearranging for him. She shuffled some of her softest pillows under his legs to ease the strain of the burns and then did the same with his lower back.
"You really could have damaged your legs, Daniel," she scolded when she was finished. "You could have hurt yourself."
"I think I did…"
Her irritated look softened a bit. He did look miserable. She sighed and put her hand on his cheek.
"Next time ask me, first. Okay?"
He nodded and closed his eyes tightly for a minute, trying to force the aching to go away.
"Colonel O'Neill said you needed something?" Janet asked, reaching over and taking a cloth from a bowl of cool water and wiping his sweaty face carefully with it.
Daniel reached up with his left hand – the unbroken one – and caught her hand, wincing because it hurt, but wanting to be in actual contact with her when he talked to her. She raised an eyebrow at that, and stopped what she was doing.
"What's wrong, Daniel?"
"I'm not going to die, right?"
"Right."
"You're sure?"
Why did it seem to him he'd already had this conversation? Maybe because he'd dreamed he had?
"I'm positive," She told him; fairly certain where this was leading. They'd already had this conversation once, after all.
"We need to talk, then…"
"About what, Daniel?" She wanted to make sure that what he thought they needed to talk about was the same thing that he'd thought they needed to talk about the last time he brought up the subject.
He hesitated, unsure of how to begin, even though he'd run the conversation through his mind a million times.
"Do… have you ever wished you'd told someone something… and then had it be too late by the time you decided to?"
Janet sat down carefully on the edge of his bed, and lowered his hand to rest it on his stomach where he wouldn't be straining his sore muscles to hold it up. He had such a tight hold on her, though, that she ended up resting her hand on his.
"I'm not sure exactly what you mean, Daniel… You're talking about regrets?"
"Yeah."
Fraiser shrugged.
"I've had my share of them, yes. Why do you ask?"
"When I was with Melony, and we were getting ready for the ambush, she told me she was going to send off a message for Jack and Major Anderson. She asked me if there was anything I wanted to send." He paused, catching his breath, but Janet took it as a break in the conversation.
"And was there?"
He nodded.
"I wanted to send you a message."
"Daniel…"
"Janet." He interrupted her, wanting to say what he had to say. "Let me finish, okay? Please?"
She looked like she was going to say something, but she nodded, instead, and Daniel took a deep breath.
"I wanted to send you a message… telling you how… what I felt. How I felt. I had a lot of time on the ship to think, and to realize who I was missing the most… and it was you." He wondered if that came out sounding as dumb as he thought it sounded. "I love you, Janet… I just want you to know that."
He looked up at her, although she was still slightly blurry – he didn't think it was really the best time to ask her for his glasses, though.
Janet couldn't help but blush, just a little. He was still on medication, yes, but she knew he was far more lucid than he'd been the last time he'd told her that. And that meant that chances were, he meant it. She squeezed his hand slightly, just enough that he could feel it, but nowhere near hard enough to hurt him.
Daniel wasn't done, yet, though. He didn't want her to feel obligated to reciprocate, just because of what he'd said, and he needed to clear the air before she said anything she didn't mean.
"I know it's probably out of the blue, and I'm sorry…" he told her. "And if you don't feel the same way, well… I understand. I won't be happy, but I won't go out and kill myself or anything."
Yeah, he probably could have put that a little smoother, but he was medicated, after all.
Janet smiled and shook her head.
"Why did it take you so long to say something?"
"What?"
"For a guy who's supposed to be so sharp, you're not all that observant, Daniel," she chided him, releasing his hand and placing it on his stomach once more, and leaning over to touch his cheek. "I had feelings for you forever… I've just been waiting for you to say something."
It took him a moment to digest what she was saying, but then he smiled, even though it hurt to.
"I should have said something a long time ago."
She nodded.
"So…?"
"So…?"
Daniel rolled his eyes.
"Do we have a chance?"
She smiled, and brushed his bangs out of his eyes. He'd been away too long, and needed a haircut.
"Yes, Daniel. We have a chance. We'll talk about it more later, though, okay? When you're feeling a little better and I don't have the memory of just how close I came to losing you fresh in my mind."
He nodded, unable to keep from smiling. He'd done it! And she hadn't shot him down. He couldn't wait to tell Melony.
"It can wait," he told her. They'd waited this long, after all.
"This can't, though." Janet said, leaning over and brushing a gentle kiss against his lips. A kiss that was over almost before it began, and yet one that lingered on Daniel's mouth even after she'd pulled away.
"I want you to go back to sleep, now." She told him. "And if sitting like that gets to painful, let me know and we'll put you back on your stomach."
"I will." He touched her hand again. "Will you stay with me? For a little while? Do you have time?"
Janet smiled.
"I'll stay."