"How long until I get accepted into a university, huh? If I don't, Mother'll kill me..." Marc sighed. Everyone was gathered around the table listening to Marc's complaints. Remus' family on one end, and his friends on the other. Marc's 'friend', Chandler, also attended the dinner and seemed very keen in staring at Remus with a thoughtful expression.
Both Remus and Sirius noticed this disturbing stare. Remus tried his best to ignore it but was finding it difficult when a deep growl kept emitting from his right.
"Sirius quit acting like a dog." Remus murmured as quietly as possible.
"I am a dog." Sirius stuck out his tongue and started panting.
"Stop that. You're not a dog right now."
"Then why do I feel like I want to bite somebody. That somebody being that blue eyed beast that won't keep his bloody blue eyes off of you."
"A lot of people stare at me."
"They do!?" Sirius shouted. The entire table turned to him. Well, that was fine with Sirius since Chandler was now looking at him instead of Remus.
"Do you like to interrupt people?" Renee asked, malice lacing in her voice.
"Do you like to be a bitch or is just a personality defect?" Sirius murmured so no one could hear him but himself.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that."
"You didn't need to."
Renee looked at him skeptically. He ignored her and continued eating knowing quite well that everyone was still looking at him. Eventually everyone got bored of the black-haired guest and turned to their own conversations.
Remus looked at Sirius and shook his head in dismay. He gazed over at James briefly and when he did so Sirius grabbed his hand underneath the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"You look like your scared or something." Sirius murmured.
"Look in the mirror and see who's scared."
"Me? Scared? Never."
"James said he wasn't, so you shouldn't worry." Remus tightened his hold on Sirius' hand.
"Did you see his face when he was starting to ask me? I know he said he wasn't but I'm his best friend...and well I'm with his other best friend...and that'd be like doubly awkward." Sirius glanced at James from across the table who was thankfully paying no attention to them.
"But that's just it, Sirius. He's our best friend and he'd understand. I promise." But deep down Remus had his own insecurities about his friend's feelings.
"Your right. Your always right."
Remus smiled. "Not always...but most of the time."
"Can we please go?" Remus pleaded with his mother. It had been a whole 24 hours since the whole 'James is/isn't homophobic' deal. No one had brought it up since then and today was looking up to be a fine day...if Remus' mother would leave them alone that is.
"It's a holiday, Remy." She hugged her son close and very tightly.
"I know, Mother, but..."
"I know, I know. You want to be with your friends." The death grip wasn't loosening.
"Yeah, that. And you're going to suffocate me."
"OH! Pardon moi." She let him go and smoothed out his shirt the mother-way.
"Please spare me the humiliation." He glanced over his shoulder and saw his friends snickering.
"Ignore them." Desiree rubbed Remus' cheek childishly. "Oh my!"
"What now?" Remus rolled his eyes at his mother and wished she wouldn't treat him like a five-year-old...and in front of his friends too.
"Your rough."
"WHAT?!"
"Stubble. I think you should talk to your father about that." She kissed his cheek and walked swiftly out of the room.
"Awww. Ickle Remy has whiskers!" James laughed. "WOW! Fifteen and you're already sproutin' hairs!"
"Shut up."
"MY! You're growing into such a fine man!"
"Shut up."
"You'll soon be graduating, getting a job, marriage, kids! OH MY!"
"Shut the fuck up James!"
James chuckled. "Alright. But I'm sure that's what your mother is thinking."
"Heh. Maybe about the graduation part and possibly the job but marriage and kids? I highly doubt it."
"You don't think you'll get married someday?"
Remus gave a faint smile. "No James I don't think I will."
"Well I will."
"Yeah, to Lily." Sirius snorted.
James nodded his head, "That's right. To Lily."
"I dunno about that."
"Why not?"
"One: when you talk to each other it could start out nice but always ends up a catastrophe Two: if you go near her she walks away. Three: she doesn't like you and tells you that every time you ask her out." Sirius counted off the items on his fingers. "I hate to tell you this, but you don't have a chance in hell."
"You'll see. I can be quite irresistible. And I will win her over." James stood up straight and puffed out his chest like he was perfect prince charming.
"Sure. Whatever..."
"Well, what about you?"
Sirius stared at James for a moment before answering, "Do I look like someone who'd settle down and have kids?"
"Yes, in fact I can easily picture you with children."
Sirius burst into a fit of giggles. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"No..." James watched Sirius fall to the floor and roll around. He quickly changed his mind, "Actually, never have kids Padfoot. You are a kid."
"Teehee," Sirius wiped the tears from his eyes and sat up. "I'll leave all the children to you Prongs. You and..." Snort. "...Lily."
"Yeah..." James seemed to fly away to a different planet just then. The other three knew the look of euphoria on his face and decided it was best to sneak away before James could start his 'someday soon...you'll see' speech.
The three friends strode down the long hallway all the way to the other end to a more elaborate door. Remus reached up to a dusty lamp on the wall and reached inside. He pulled out an old rusty key and stuck it in the keyhole on the door.
"What's in here?" Peter asked as he watched Remus fumble with the doorknob.
"Like a second living room." Remus answered trying to turn the rusted handle but finding it very difficult to do so..
"Obviously no one comes in here..."
"No, we do. The door is always stuck like this."
"Then why the key?" Sirius inquired.
"Uh, because there's old, expensive weapons in here."
"Weapons? OOOOoooo. Like what?" James' voice boomed from down the hall.
"Would you just wait and see?" Remus slammed into the door with his shoulder. The door squeaked and opened a couple of centimeters. "Would you help?" He motioned for Sirius to try and get it open. He pounded on it a few times and after awhile the door gave up with a squeak and revealed the ornate room with many sharp-pointed weapons lining on the walls..
"Wow." James appeared next to the dog animagus.
"Yeah, whatever." Remus flipped on the light to add to the sunset from the window. "Take a seat."
"I'm afraid to." Sirius commented after looking at the furniture. "It looks too...new."
"It's quite old, actually. Older than me."
"Then it's too white. Black doesn't go with white."
"That was dumb Sirius."
Sirius looked at the wall and shuddered. "Are you going to call me a coward?"
"What for?"
"For saying that those things on the wall look a wee bit creepy."
"Coward." Remus smiled and sat down on the white arm of the couch. "They aren't possessed and won't come flying off the wall to chop you in half."
"Oh that just makes me SO want to sit down."
"Sit down." Remus pointed to the cushions next to him. His friends eyed the walls warily before taking a seat. "Geez, I thought I was going to have to tie a rope around you and pull you in here."
"Well, the knives, swords, blades, scalpels, and all the other sharp objects are a little intimidating." James eyed the piercing edges gingerly.
"Of course they are. They did used to kill people." Remus mentioned not so nonchalantly.
"...Kill people?" Peter squeaked.
"Yeah." Remus pointed to a knife on the wall. "That one killed my great-great uncle."
"And you kept it?" James asked astonished.
"Why not?" He pointed to a long shining sword. "That one killed my great-great-great grandfather."
"That's creepy, Moony."
"And that one—"
"Don't want to hear it."
"Fine. I won't share my family history with you."
"I would like to know, however," Peter said, "why you really did keep such, uh, depressing items. Why would you keep something around that every time you looked at it, knew it killed one of your family members."
"You guys are so gullible you know that?" Remus laughed. "They have never killed anyone. No one in my family or outside it."
"You jerk! Making us believe you kept killers in your house!" James hit him on the back on the head.
"Only one."
"I'm not falling for it."
"It's a true story though."
"It's bull."
"No it's not!"
"I think it is!"
"James!"
"Remus!"
"James, Remus! Shut the hell up!" Sirius declared slapping both on the back of the head. "Anyways, I think Remus should tell us the story whether it's real or not. It'll help past the time until midnight."
"Fine. But I bet it's bull." James expressed, settling down more into the couch. "Tell away, Moony."
"See that one with the jewels in the hilt?" Remus pointed at a lone sword on the right wall. "My great great-great-great-great...uh...how many greats was that? Well there's supposed to be six greats and a grandfather. So figure that out."
"So your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather." Peter asked.
"No, I think that was seven. It's great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather."
"Woah! Too many greats!" James held his head in confusion. "Just continue with the story."
"Okay," Remus walked over to the sword in the story and picked it up off its holder. He pointed it at his schoolmates. "Well my six-great grandfather was a thief and murderer. Lothair Lupin II. He had this forged for him by some great swordsmith, Eno Eberly. Supposedly it was somehow forged in blood from his enemies. The red jewels represent power and strength and the blue jewels represent protection. So, naturally, with armor and weapon built into one it was kind of hard to catch him.
"He murdered around a hundred people and stole thousands in money. He met his match with some chick, actually. Lothair went into some house planning on getting everything and killing everyone in it. The only person there was a female, Marcella Astley. He fell in love with her the moment he saw her. The old cliché it is.
"He didn't kill her or steal anything. But he was a wanted man all across the country and she knew his face. So, while he was trying to tell her of his love she—"He raised the sword up and swung it at Sirius, stopping just before it collided with his neck. "—took his sword and beheaded him." He lowered the weapon and set it back on its rack.
"So I guess my family isn't the only one with a dark background." Sirius commented rubbing his neck where the blade just barely touched.
"Your family was always Black." James noted.
"Is that supposed to be funny?"
"Sorta."
"Well, it wasn't."
"Well, I don't care, I liked it! You're just—"
The door squeaked opened and in came everyone's favorite person.
"So this is where you've all been hiding."
"Ah, great. Renee's here." Remus whispered to no one in particular.
"I heard that you little brat." Renee stomped over to her brother and pinched his cheek.
"Better hearing than me...? Then she really is Sister Satan." He glanced to Sirius and grinned.
"Ah, so he told you what he called me then... He is more of a devil than me."
"And proud!" Sirius added.
"Humpf. You are always going to be arrogant."
"And egotistical." If she thought she was going to win this argument she was terribly wrong and Sirius was going to make sure of that.
"And a smartass."
"Imbecile."
"Asshole."
"Overconfident."
"Reckless."
"Hot-headed."
"Wild."
"Careless."
"Inattentive."
"Forgetful."
"Stupid."
"Okay, that's where I put my foot down. I am not stupid." Sirius crossed his arms and discreetly gave her the finger.
"You are something else. I swear—"
"What do you want Renee?" Remus questioned before another fight broke out.
"I was just wondering what you're going to do tonight. Are you two going to kiss at midnight?" Renee asked innocently waving a finger at him and Sirius. All four boys' mouths dropped.
"Pardon?" James gawked at Remus and Sirius suspiciously.
"Oh my..." Renee looked at James with false astonishment. "You mean you don't know?"
"Know what?" James tore his gaze from his friends to the sister.
"Sirius and Remus...?"
"Maintenez votre bouche fermée! Il ne sait pas!" Remus yelled. (Keep your mouth shut! He doesn't know!)
"Pourquoi est-ce que je devrais? Il devrait être dehors dans l'ouvert." (Why should I? It should be out in the open.)
"S'il vous plait, Renee, ne lui indiquent pas."(Please, Renee, don't tell him.)
"Fine. You can tell him about your lover boy." She turned on her heels and left.
"Dammit."
"Lover boy? What is she talking about?" James glared in Sirius' direction. Sirius quickly looked away and his eyes landed on Peter who looked exactly as confused as James. "If someone doesn't tell me now I'll...I'll...I don't know what I'll do but it'll be bad!"
"Look, James...Uh..." Sirius looked to Remus wishing he had the answer written on his forehead. "Me and uh...him...we uh....are...umm..."
"Spit it out already!"
"Meandremusaretogether."
"Eh? What did you just mumble?" James walked up to Sirius and stood dangerously close to him.
"Me and Remus...we...uh..."
"Fuck it," Remus blurted, "We're together. Like a couple. In love. All that shit and more. If you have a problem with it, leave."
James stared at Remus momentarily before stepping back. "You...no...you can't be...you're fucking with us...you have to be...Sirius?"
"Sorry, mate. But he's telling the truth." Sirius watched his feet grind into the carpet and didn't even risk looking up and revealing his reddening cheeks and teary eyes.
"You two are...eh, no." James continued backing away to the open door.
"Don't be an idiot, Prongs." Remus expressed his voice breaking.
"Me be an idiot? No...don't you be an idiot. This is...wrong. It's not right."
"You just fucking said that you weren't homophobic!"
"That was before I found out my two best friends in the world were!""What difference does that make? Are you trying to tell me if you didn't know us you wouldn't care if we were together?!"
"Something like that, yes."
"That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard, Potter." One tear slid down from the hazel eyes.
"The stupidest fucking thing I ever heard is you two being, ug, a couple!" James yelled. He grabbed Peter's arm, stalked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.
"Damn him to hell." Sirius let the tears spill from his eyes.
"You were our fucking friend!" Remus screamed at the door.
"You promised..." He looked at Remus through his black fringe.
"He promised what?" Remus blinked the teardrops from his eyes and stared at the gray eyes hidden beneath midnight locks.
"You promised..."
"I promised?"
"Yes, you promised." Sirius fell to the floor and brought his legs to his chest.
"What did I promise?" Remus sat down next to him and hugged his lover close.
"You said that he wouldn't care. You said he'd accept it. You said he'd understand!" Sirius jerked away from the comforting arms and stood up.
"I...I thought he would..."
"Well he didn't!"
"So what do we do?!"
"I don't know!"
Remus looked up at Sirius with sad eyes. "Do you want to...just forget about it?"
"How can I forget about James?!" Sirius declared.
"Not him..." As smooth as he could, Remus said, "Forget about...this...us...I mean friends come before love, right? So, why shouldn't we just...break it off...We had a good few days...We could tell him that it really was a joke..."
Sirius turned away and clenched his fists tightly. He really wanted to grab one of the knives and drive it into something. He wished he could cut the clearly visible tension that hung in the air above his head that threatened to fall on top of him and completely smother him to death. The reality of the proposal never quite hit Sirius until he heard a door open and shut.
That simple sound of a door closing never had an impact before. But now it was like someone had closed the door on his heart. He was trapped— isolated. Alone.
He wasn't on good terms with his family. He wasn't with his friends. He wasn't with his lover.
And now, Sirius knew he had to lock that door otherwise someone could come in and hurt him once again.
"What are you doing James?"
"I don't know!"
"It looks like your trying to pull your hair out and at the same time poke your eyes out."
"Would you leave me alone!"
Peter stood up from his seat on the edge of the bed, his face burning with anger. "You're being so childish, you know that? Remus and Sirius are your best friends—mine too! And I don't get why you'd care so much! You told me once that it doesn't matter who you love as long as they love you back. Remember that?"
"Yes, but I meant—"
"For a man and woman." Peter finished for him. "Look at the past five years and tell me who's been on your side through thick and thin. They were there for you as you were for them. But now you're going to ditch them. Wand waving, quidditch skills, and intelligence will only get you so far. You can't live life without friends."
James stared at the blond boy in front of him with an unreadable expression. He opened his mouth to say something but Peter beat him to it. "I don't think you care about Remus and Sirius. You never have. You used them through the years to get what you wanted. Sirius for popularity and girls and Remus for helping you pass classes. Is this also what you wanted? For them to come up with a good reason for you to dispose of them without ever letting them know your true intentions?" He paused his speech when he saw tears spilling out from beneath the metal rim of glasses.
"That's...that's not true." James choked.
"It isn't? It isn't true that you're selfish and don't give a damn about anyone else?"
"NO!" James stood up and started pacing around his makeshift room. "You, Remus, and Sirius are all brothers to me! Ever since the day on the train we first met! I would never use you! Our friendship means everything to me!"
"If they're so damn important to you then why did you screw it up?"
"I didn't do anything! It was them!"
Peter had had enough. James wouldn't break; maybe Peter was wrong when he thought that it was something totally different that was bothering his friend. And reverse psychology didn't work like he hoped it would. He couldn't take it anymore; Peter was going to have to make a choice, one that he wished he never had to.
"You lost your everything, James. Remus, Sirius, and myself."
James stood stunned at the blurry retreating back of his former friend. He stood there, tears spilling from his eyes, and only distantly heard the first chime to midnight.
Sirius still remained in the blade room. The moonlight shone surprisingly brightly through the room and illuminated half of his face leaving the other half in shadows. But anyone would realize that the dark side would have mirrored the melancholy of the other half. When the clock chimed its fifth, a steady stream fell from darkening eyes without anyone to stop it.
Peter didn't even make it to his room when he started to weep. This was too much to comprehend and he didn't want to think that when they all returned to school, nothing would be the same. Six, seven, eight.
Remus had never felt guiltier, more remorseful than he felt now. He once swore to himself that no one or nothing could come between him and his friends. But something did and when he stuck to his vow he couldn't help but think that it was the worst thing he could have ever done. And now he found himself shedding more tears than he had for the past five years. Nine, ten, eleven.
All four boys sat alone, crying, as the last chime came and entered a new year.
A/N: Can you hang in there for one more chapter??