by Wormmonsoul
Chapter Sixteen in Which Yasashiiko Gets a Condom
"Ichijouji Ken!"
Null reaction. Ignorance. Oblivion. Gone. With the Wind.
"Ichijouji Ken?"
This name sounds familiar... She sighs. It's just Daisuke's kiss from the night they spent together (and you nice kiddies under 17 don't want to know what happened then oh yeah) that makes her so sweet inside and her finger wanders over her lips dreamily. Big dreamy eyes the colour of violets.
"Ichijouji? Ken?"
What?!
With a start she wakes up in the classroom. Great, first day in school and sooo many things to explain.
"Ah," the teacher sighs in satisfaction when she springs up and his doting eyes stop on her. "Finally, you're awake, Ichijouji-kun. Why are you wearing a skirt?"
"Well, you see, I'm a girl," Yasashiiko mumbles. Boys' eyes are glued to her and girls' mouths fall open. "I mean, I'm his girl-cousin, sensei!" she hisses. "My name is Ichijouji Yasashiiko."
"Pussy cat!" someone whispers.
"Meow," the one on the right drawls. She gives them a finger behind her back which they study with an astonished interest. This is genius's school; polite attitude, good marks and evil minds rule the universe of this school.
"Go write your name on the blackboard," the teacher says.
Yasashiiko makes a step and crushes to the floor. Somebody has placed a schoolbag in her way, and that someone seems to be having a keen interest in her legs right now. Laughter. Chalk makes a saw sound as she writes the four kanji of her name. The teacher has two round gawking eyes. She has made four mistakes. And she shouldn't write her name in kanji, after all, she's a girl, right? Yes, thank you, sensei, I'll remember. Where my cousin is, sensei? Ah well, you see… he went abroad to study, yes, to study in the USA, in Paris. Ah, Paris is in France.
I hate Geography.
Of course. I mean, he's in France, where he studies Spanish.. Okay, French, he's studying French.
And why don't you **** off?!
Me? I'm from Osaka, I guess... What district I lived in? Oh, I .. I don't remember, I was too little when we moved… to Kyoto, and no, I don't remember Kyoto well either, we moved a lot all over Japan, one night here, the other there.. Thank you, sensei.
Old bastard.
Well, it is damn obvious now that Ichijouji Ken, the genius, is long gone to a big blown nowhere and there is no way I'm going to pass today's math test because the figures are all so funny, so funny it hurts to look at them. And what is that cute thingamabob over that gismo with so many zeros my eyes won't concentrate on them before the point? Dammit.
***
Alright, Yasashiiko, it's time to educate you a little. The school year has begun, and there will most certainly boys in your classroom who will make passes on you, write you love letters, and eventually ask you out," Mimi made a stern face at the indigo-haired girl who was on the floor and being held down by Sora and Miyako against her attempts to run away. The girls brought her to Miyako's apartment after school and were instructing her about boys. Better late than never.
"First of all, consult us before accepting any offers of that kind. That's what girls always do - asking the opinion of their friends," Sora said.
"Don't kiss on the first date!" Miyako stuck in.
Yasashiiko raised her eyes, "Why not?" After all, she did let Daisuke kiss her and kiss her and again kiss her - and they weren't even dating, and he was okay with it, so what was the problem?
"Poor, Sashi, you don't know anything!" Miyako sighed. "If you let them do everything they want, they'll think you're a whore and they dump you. Moreover, they'll spread rumors about you and you can wave goodbye to your reputation. Never let them touch you! Blush if needed. Cry out as if you're surprised at their perversity! Look away when they want to kiss you! Tell them that you're not ready. Hit them with a bat. Smack their faces into the dirt and watch them eat it! Tell teachers they're harassing you! Finally, read magic books and figure a way to turn them into a girl so that they know their place!!!" Miyako was panting, her face red after that long proud tirade. She added calmly, "These are simple tricks for them to fall in love with you."
"And when you have a steady boyfriend, you begin to be jealous of him," Sora said firmly and Mimi nodded in agreement.
"I.. I do have a steady boyfriend!" Yasashiiko said loudly.
"WHO?!" they cried in unison.
"Daisuke," the girl answered.
"NO WAY!"
"You don't know what it's like to have a boyfriend!" Mimi shouted.
Yasashiiko brushed the invisible dust off her skirt. "Well, we go out to the movies, he treats me to ice-cream, hangs on every word I say, we make out when his parents don't look, I sleep him and he tells me he loves me. Is that enough to be registered as a couple?"
She smiled sweetly at the bewildered faces of the girls.
"Wait a sec," Mimi muttered. "You SLEEP with him? As in, have IT with him?"
"Sure. We like."
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!!" That was both Sora and Miyako. Mimi dropped on the sofa and had hysteria. She sprang up to Yasashiiko in a flash of a moment.
"Oh my God!!!" she cried and shook the poor girl by the shoulders. "She is dead serious!" Sora and Miyako began to wail their lamentation, cuddling on the floor and rocking back and forth. Everything turned chaotic. Mimi had a cushion and that cushion was flying across the room and she went after it and footballed it back. And back. And back. Miyako was trying to tear her lavender hair out without success. Sora begged her to tell her it wasn't true, and to slap her awake from that nightmare. Miyako slapped her, and Sora went down but then jumped to her feet and tried to tear Miyako's hair from Miyako.
Yasashiiko blinked owlishly and said, "What, did I do something wrong?"
They went still. She could see them thinking up the response. It was ominous the way they glared at her.
"Dear Sashi-chan," Sora started. "Girls don't sleep with boys JUST LIKE THAT YOU WHORE I'LL SHOW YOU I'LL GET YOU FOR BEING SO DUMB AND GETTING LAID WITHOUT ANY SHAME -"
Luckily, Miyako and Mimi clasped their hands over her mouth but the redhead kept struggling out.
"Listen, klutzy," Mimi sighed. "It's no use crying over spilt milk that your cat licked up. You're half a guy and that does it."
"Hey!" Yasashiiko frowned. Mimi dropped something in her hand. The indigo-haired looked down at the small plastic package with a funny something in it.
"At least, I hope you're using it when you sleep with him."
"And what is it?" she asked.
"A condom," said the pink-haired know-all in a tone that implied Yasashiiko was hopeless.
"Hey, lemme have a look!!" Miyako grabbed it interestedly.
"Miya! Give the condom back to Yasashiiko! She needs it more than you do!" Mimi gave a very grave look to the dumbfounded girl, who indeed had heard about condoms but never gave them any serious thought, being a boy who didn't date girls and so on. "Use it!" If a glare could kill Mimi would be a murderer.
"Okay," Yasashiiko said quickly. To tell the truth, that night as she and Daisuke stayed home alone and didn't bother with simply going to sleep, Yasashiiko produced this gismo to her boyfriend and asked him to put it on. He wanted to know first - what the hell it was, and second - how on earth to put it on? And they decided they could live without it, thank you very much.
But before this fateful talk, something fateful else happened to Yasashiiko that day, that I want to tell you. She went to Yagami's apartment to pick up her stuff. She had returned to her home sweet home since she and Daisuke started dating, and both tidings gladdened her mother's heart (and Wormmon's), who quickly un-pinked Ken's room and laid her bed with Ken's old purple blanket with cute wormmons all over it. There was her lipstick and her body lotion left in Hikari's room (and she still had the key from Yagami's apartment), that is why she went into the Child of Light's room as if it belonged to her. And lo! She saw.
She saw the aforementioned Child of Light lay on the bed, with her dress on the floor, her bra thrown over the back of the chair, and with Child of Friendship who was kissing her breasts. Passionately. And Hikari was moaning.
'Oh, shit,' Yasashiiko thought worriedly, 'Better get out of here before they noticed me!' She stumbled back through the door, happy that they paid her no mind, but stopped short in her tracks. 'Wait. Yamato and Hikari?! And she didn't even tell me! I wonder if Taichi knows. No, of course, he doesn't know or he would kill Ishida.' Suddenly, she remembered how many times Hikari stayed late because of Yamato and Takeru. All those time when she needed her to drive Taichi off her. And later, Koushirou. And when Yasashiiko was in pain, Hikari had fun with Yamato?!' The very thought sent her in fury. Giving up reason, she turned back.
"Hey, YOU!" she shouted at the happy pair.
Yamato looked up in horror, then relaxed visibly.
"It's only you, Ken, I was scared it was Taichi!"
Hikari blushed purple and grabbed her lover's shirt to cover herself. Yasashiiko raved on.
"It's not ONLY me! I swear, I'll tell everyone, and Taichi would be the first! How dare you lie to us! How dare you leave me with Taichi when you felt like a quick PEEP!"
"Please, don't tell Taichi!" Hikari cried desperately. "Sweet kind Yasashiiko, please, don't tell him, I beg you! He'll do something horrible to Yamato!"
"Ken, you can't be serious," Yamato was shocked. The indigo-haired girl howled with laughter.
"Why don't you laugh NOW, Ishida! Isn't it hilarious?!" she grinned. "Come on, give me a smile, laugh like you laughed at me when I was turned into a girl!"
"This is awful!" Hikari sobbed. Yamato comforted her. The indigo-haired surveyed the scene victoriously. The blonde turned to her, determined.
"Ken, please, don't tell anyone. I'll do anything you want," he said. "But leave Hikari out of this."
Yasashiiko wanted nothing from him at this moment. If there had been an Indian bonfire in the room she would have been dancing around it and shaking her battle axe, and watch Yamato's and Hikari's faces as they burned in the fire. Then, she came to her senses.
"Deal," she said. "I'll think up something for you, Ishida. And this won't be pretty." With this, she went out of Yagami's apartment with a happy grin on her face.
She never imagined that she would be seeking Ishida's help the very next day.
tsuzuku
Next: Yasashiiko faces her old self, finds herself imprisoned and who is her knight in shining armor to steal her away but Hida Iori! ^_^ Together they embark on an adventurous adventure! And wait a second, who is kissing her Daisuke?!!
a/n If there is something unclear, unsolved, left unsaid in this fic, please, tell me, since I'm too lazy (^___^) to reread it and I hafta patch up the end fast. Ja nee!