Chapter 34
Immediately after Harry blacked out the remaining Death Eaters disapparated, their jobs done. Dumbledore created a portkey to take everyone back to Hogwarts including the bodies of Lupin and Zombini. Once back at Hogwarts Harry was taken to the Hospital Wing accompanied by Sirius.
Harry was cured by Madame Pomfrey in a second, at least he wasn't going to die in his sleep. No matter what they tried though Harry would or could not wake up. Sirius, having access to Harrys' mind, knew that his Godson was refusing to let himself wake up. He knew that Harry didn't want to face reality again.
Madame Pomfrey had been in a bad mood when Dumbledore said that once again a dog would be staying with Harry. All her hard feelings were put aside once visitors came trying to see Harry. Of course once everyone found out that Harry was in the Hospital Wing the whole school wanted to see if he was alive. The few people that did manage to slip by Madame Pomfrey were quickly sent away by a growling Sirius. The only person Sirius let anywhere close to his Godson was Madame Pomfrey. Not even Harry's friends were allowed to visit.
It was two days later when Harry finally started showing signs of waking up. He started having bad dreams. Sirius was the only one that could comfort Harry. That afternoon Harry woke up screaming. Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore were quickly at his side.
"What's the matter Harry?" Dumbledore asked.
"Is it true? Is he, is Professor Lupin actually dead?" Harry asked as Sirius tried to push his way up to Harry's side. Harry said Professor Lupin instead of Remus trying, but not succeeding, to distance himself from Lupin.
"His name is Remus." Sirius said which Harry ignored.
"Yes Harry," Dumbledore began gravely. "Remus is dead."
"Professor Lupin is dead because of me." Harry thought as Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey went to find the Weasleys' and Hermione.
"His name was Remus, Harry, you know that. Why won't you use his name?" Sirius asked thankful that eyes can't kill.
"Because it hurts to much." Harry said as he tuned Sirius out.
The next day Harry was released from the Hospital Wing. It was the last day of term and Harry needed to talk to a couple of people before he went home. He decided to get the harder of the two out of the way first. Sirius was right beside him as always.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Sirius asked.
"I don't want to do anything, Sirius. You should know that. I'm doing what I have to do to keep people safe." Harry answered as he waited for someone down by the lake.
"How do you know that they want to be safe?" Sirius pushed.
"Because I want them to be safe. Sirius I have a bad feeling about the end of this war. I've finally realized that from the moment I was born my life and death were already decided. Unlike most people there was no changing my destiny. I'm only here to kill Voldemort once and for all. Maybe then, and only then, I can be reunited with everyone I've lost. Can't you see Sirius? My destiny controls my life, and I'm sick of people dying because of it." Harry said looking older then he previously had.
Sirius didn't know how to respond to that. He wanted to tell Harry that what he had said wasn't true, but he couldn't find the words. Luckily Sirius was saved from trying to answer by the arrival of the person they were waiting for.
"Harry you said you wanted to talk to me." Ginny said.
"Ginny I really, really like you. That's why I think we should break up." Harry said.
"We already had this talk Harry." Ginny said laughing thinking that this was some kind of joke. "I told you that I'm already a target so we should go out for the heck of it." Ginny finished trying to get Harry to laugh.
"Ginny I love you." Harry said those three words that he had never said anyone before. "I've heard that when you love someone you have to let them go. Please don't make this any harder then it already is."
"Harry James Potter this is not funny anymore. If you love me then don't push me away. I know that you're upset with Remus dying and all but come on."
"Ginny you were almost killed!" Harry yelled then calming down added. "If I survive this war, which is doubtful, then I most certainly won't be the same person."
"What happened to you?" Ginny asked tears falling down her cheeks. "What happened to the Harry Potter who saved me during my first year, the Harry Potter who only concern was kicking Slytherins' butt in the Quidditch Cup, the Harry Potter who I spent so many summers with, the Harry Potter who I'm in love with?" Ginny was expecting Harry to say that he was sorry for being so stupid. She even could have handled Harry asking her to marry him. The answer Harry gave her though was one she could not handle.
"He's dead. He started dying the night his parents died and Professor Lupins death finished the job." Harry said looking as if he was set in stone. Harry gave Ginny one last look and then headed back to the castle.
"No." Was all Ginny could say even though she knew that for the most part it was true. Then without meaning to she said- "I will always love you, Harry, and I'm willing to wait for you." Before going to find Ron and Hermione to let them know what was going on with Harry.