THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY

PART V

Even bigger! Even longer! Even more uncut! PG-13 for a Twisted Ruthie sighting.

Plot based on a true story

"I'm in trouble, Lucy."

Lucy nodded to herself. Why am I not surprised? She thought.

"What happened?"

"Can you keep this between the two of us?"

"What happened?"

"I... I'd really like to hope that you won't tell anyone about this. This is something... it's something I really need you to keep between you and me."

"Okay. What happened?'

"Carlos. He's... he got arrested."

Why am I not surprised? Lucy thought.

"What should I do, Lucy?"

Lucy thought for a minute. She had no advice whatsoever for her sister. So, she manufactured advice she didn't really think would work.

"Well... just stay calm."

"How can I stay calm? My husband is in jail, I have a three-year-old son—I'm living in my parents' house! Lucy, I... I don't know what to do."

"Do you need me to help you bail him out?"

"That would... that would help. A lot."

"How long can you wait? I have an appointment to get my cast taken care of."

"I mean... whenever's comfortable for you."

"Okay."

"Just please—I'm begging you—don't tell anyone about this."

"I won't."

Lucy then woke up fully and realized:

"Wait a minute. My husband's a police officer. I'm sure I could get him to—"

"He wasn't arrested here. He was arrested in a whole other county—a completely different area. Different police. Kevin wouldn't be able to..."

"Hmm. Where was he?"

"I don't... exactly know. All I know is that some girl accused him of... of, well, exposing himself to her. That's just something he wouldn't do. Believe me."

"I believe you." Lucy said, while simulatenously thinking about how much of a sicko Carlos must have been. "Look, right now, you sound pretty tired. Maybe you should just get some rest and let's talk about it later in the morning."

"Well... okay."

"Don't worry." Lucy said, haphazardly, "Everything will be alright."

"I don't know, Luce... I just..."

"Things will be better in the morning. I'm sure of it. Just..." Lucy searched for something to say, and found it after a moment of awkwardness: "Just hang in there."

"Okay. Sorry to burden you with all of this."

"I forgive you. I'm hanging up, now."

With that, Lucy hung up, happy to get her sister off the phone and get back to sleep. But she couldn't just slip back into the peaceful slumber she had been in before. In fact, she lay awake for several minutes, thinking about the news she had just received.

As much as she didn't want to care, there was something in her that made her think: "Wow. My sister is a real failure. Big time. That's a shame."

That same thing made her realize that she couldn't just tell her parents about this little development. Lucy had gone through her own trials and tribulations with her own husband, and she knew very well that she wouldn't want any of her relatives knowing what went on between the Kinkirks when the drapes were closed.

Some feeling of familiarity—a strange kinship—is what Lucy felt towards her sister. They both had husbands who were, to put it mildly, less than perfect. To put it accurately, they were pigs. Horrible, uncaring pigs who made people like Lucy and Mary completely miserable and unhappy.

Lucy knew how Mary felt. Not exactly, of course, because Kevin had never been arrested (he was a police officer, after all). But Lucy still had a good idea of what Mary was thinking and feeling.

So, Lucy decided that she would, in fact, keep this news mum.

That didn't mean the news wouldn't get out... somehow.