Dissapointment

A/N--THIS IS NOT A SECOND CHAPTER TO "BREAKING THE HABIT". There is no second chapter. Chris died in that fic, okay? I've decided to write a series of DIFFERENT song-fics all in one story, so none of them will be continued. This will just be a lot of song-fics 'bout Chris, okay? Okay. And now that that's clarified...here's the next song-fic!

Disclaimer: DON'T OWN. GET OFFA MY CASE.

===================================

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

Chris didn't understand why Leo had always demanded that he be more like Wyatt. "Wyatt did this" or "Wyatt would've done that..." It drove him insane! Leo just didn't understand the Chris and Wyatt were separate people with different beliefs. He didn't even stop pressuring Chris to follow in Wyatt's "footsteps to greatness" when Wyatt began to kill innocents.

So Chris disobeyed his father by coming to the future and stopping Wyatt. It wasn't like Leo could've stopped him, anyway; Leo was dead in Chris' time. Dead--because Wyatt had killed him. Leo got what he deserved, yet on this night, after beating Leo to a cork, he couldn't help but feel guilty. He was trying to sort out what he'd done and justify these feelings, sitting in the alley outside of the P3. Nothing made sense, though. He didn't know why he'd attacked Leo.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Maybe because Leo had always picked him as second-best, always shoved him aside as the afterthought. It was the way it had always been since Chris was little, but Chris forgave and forgot. Or so he thought he did. With that spider venom flowing through his veins, there was no friendly conscience pulling him back, no will to fight the fury that had nested inside of his heart for so long. It almost felt good.

The Leo in this time didn't understand, though. Chris felt bad, getting so much satisfaction out of beating the crap out of a man that didn't know what he'd done. But thinking that Leo was so unaware of the pain he'd caused him almost made him angrier than before...

Well, Leo knew to some degree what made Chris pissed with him. Chris couldn't help himself out there on the bridge; he'd told Leo, quite bluntly in fact, what made him despise him as the elder he was.

Chris had always felt held back by Leo before that poison entered his system, even after Leo had died in his time. Leo always thought that Chris would be just like his brother even though Chris, quite unlike his brother, never recieved training or practicing Up There. When Chris moved out of the manor evading Wyatt, Leo tried to bring him back...but couldn't. He had decided his son was too much of a dissapointment and not worth his time. He was so angry with him to accuse Wyatt of being evil that he didn't even realize that Wyatt, the little boy he once knew, was really a killing machine.

"See where I am now, dad?" Chris whispered as it began to rain. "See what I have to do? I hope you're happy, wherever the hell you are!"

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

The rain pelted his head and drenched him, but he didn't care. He remained where he was, tears streaming down his face. Why did this have to be so hard? All he was supposed to do was save Wyatt. Save Wyatt, save Wyatt. The words replayed through his mind so simply, so easily...So why was it taking so long?

"It wasn't supposed to be this way. He was never supposed to know. I've probably screwed the future in more ways than I can count on my fingers..."

"No you haven't," a voice contradicted.

Chris looked around, panic and distraught apparent on his face. "Who's there?"

"Your father. I'm sorry, Chris. If it's anybody's fault, it's mine. I never listened to you. You were right all along and I paid no attention. I am so, so sorry Chris..."

"D-Dad?"

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

"I belive in you, Chris. I know you can do it. Save your brother, we're counting on you. I love you."

"I love you too," Chris whispered back, knowing that the spirit was gone. "I'll try."

The rain kept coming down on him and he saw a flash in the distance, most likely lightning. He knew he should probably stand back up and call it a night but he lingered for a moment. Maybe everything would be okay. Maybe Leo could understand what Chris had done to him...Leo may even try to prevent things that he'd do in the future from happening.

Chris closed his eyes and smiled to himself. It was a nice little fantasy he had going on in his head...because he knew Leo wouldn't be so forgiving. It'd take him weeks to understand.

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

He didn't know how long his eyes had been closed. He probably fell asleep right there, leaning against the brick wall. The rain had stopped and he sat up groggily, rubbing his sore back from sleeping in a weird position. He looked up and saw Leo, solemn and sad...even...desperate.

For a moment Chris just glared at him. He didn't know! He didn't understand! After all this time, all the pain he'd put Chris through, all the suffering, this man standing in front of him was trying to help! He wanted to kill him!

"I'm sorry," they both blurted at the same time.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Leo grinned and offered Chris a hand to help him up. Chris accepted it.

"You okay?" asked Leo, concerned.

"Yeah...Look, Leo, I'm really sorry about what happened last night. You haven't even done anything yet, you don't understand. I didn't mean to do that to you...at least not the you in this time."

Leo put a hand on Chris' shoulder. "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it. And I promise I'll be there for you in the future...son."

Chris smiled. He liked the sound of that.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

For the first time, Chris really felt like Leo wasn't lying.

==========================================

A/N--And that's that for this song-fic. Hope you liked it! R&R, plz!