A/N: I will try not to drag out this author's note too much. So I will say it and I will say it again: I'm a stupid idiot.
DISCLAIMER: No, I don't own YYH. But I think it's nice. And you YYH fans are thinking, "NICE? It's BETTER than NICE! It's GREAT!!! I LOVE it!" But you can think what you want. I don't really care.
I won't respond to reviews because I'm feeling a little queasy today, so, yeah. Besides, I don't even know what my reviews are and who reviewed, because I'm not connected today. But I must ask: Whatever happened to Aka Bara?
Nine Months Of Horror:
By CocaCola43
Chapter 5: Switched Again?
Her eyes widened and Yukina shook her head violently, refusing to believe it. Not all humans were pitiless and cruel, after all. The bars were just some form of ningen art. She had heard some nearby humans talking, and from their conversation she could draw nothing vindictive, no malicious intent at all. It had gone like this:
Human #1: "Hey, Souji, wassup?"
Human #2: "Nothing much. You?"
Human #1: "Same old, same old. Hey, did you check out that blue-haired chick standing next to the freaky old guy? Hella hot, huh?"
Human #3: "Huh?"
Human #2: "Hell yeah! But what's wrong with her eyes? They're freaking me out, dude."
Human #3: "You freak out way too easily, dude."
Human #1: "Yeah, well, true beauty comes in weird packages, right?"
Human #2: "Yeah, whatever. Hey, did you see that new movie………Barney in Funky Land?"
Human #1: "Oh, yeah, that was hella tight, dude! Hey, what about that new Arthur movie, huh? And I can't wait for the newest episode of Dragon Tales to come out. I heard there's one where Cassie and Max fall into a lake and they have to be rescued, but I haven't seen it. Hey, what do you say about coming to my crib and checking it out on the tube, huh? We got some blangy new applesauce too, it's hella tight………"
Human #3: "Hell no! Barney is baby stuff! Let's watch Arthur instead………"
See? How could anyone find wicked content in that?
~~~~~*~~~~~
"Get the drift, Frankie? It won't hurt. It's just a little bit of plant food and fertilizer. It's going to make you grow big and strong, just you wait!"
The plant refused to listen to Kurama's coaxing, and thrashed its leaves around rebelliously. When Kurama gave it a fierce glare, however, it was subdued and obeyed his instructions meekly, if not reluctantly. Kurama set about fertilizing the plant carefully, and whispered knock-knock jokes to it under his breath. However, the poor plant could not move for laughing, as it was trapped under the immense strength of Kurama's fingers as he rummaged around for a pair of scissors. Finding one, he raised it up to make a cutting, but Frankie trembled and bent away, its long leaves wilting slightly.
"Aww, come on Frankie!" he protested. "I'm just going to make a cutting, you know? That way you'll be instantly cloned, and you'll have a little brother to play with! I can't ALWAYS be around to entertain you, you know." He snapped open the blades.
The scissors were nearing the plant. Frankie quivered, his stem trembling, but it was over in an instant. Kurama dropped the scissors and triumphantly held a bite-sized piece of green leaf in his hand. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it? I can't believe you were ---" A sudden gust of wind breezed past, and it blew the cutting out of Kurama's hand. He lunged for it, but it just barely escaped from his outstretched fingers, and swirled around dizzily. When it finally landed, it fell into the stream nearby and drifted toward the lake.
Kurama watched his hard-earned cutting disappear, and turned despondently to Frankie, who was shaking with fear; most likely he was afraid of Kurama pulling the scissors on his leaves again. "Don't worry, Frankie," he said sadly. "I won't try that again." The plant calmed down, but only after a moment's pause and a mistrustful sweep of the leaves.
He sighed and leaned back against a tall tree, studying the plant. "I really wish I could have made a clone of you," he said quietly. "I wanted to see if your genetic copy would be able to understand me like you do." The wind picked up again, tossing his red hair over his right shoulder. "Hey ---" He tried to smooth it back into its usual style, but it remained adamant, snubbing his efforts to put it back in place. It twisted itself into a long, loose braid, and darkened considerably, until it was a shade of dark brown, almost black. It shone blue in the dim light. Frankie watched, seemingly amused, although you could never tell with a plant as intelligent as he. Kurama tried to get his hair back to normal, but it wasn't working. Besides, how could he change it back to red? He exhaled loudly and set loose a string of curses under his breath.
Far off in the distance, he saw lightning, followed by a rumble of thunder. He closed his eyes and thought of his mother. He had been so mean to her that first day, when he'd found out about his………transformation. He visualized her thin frame crouching down to pick up a newspaper while hugging a long shawl around her shoulders. She looked up at him, and smiled. "Back from school already, Shuichi? I'm glad. Could you get that big pot for me, the one on the top cabinet? You're so nice and tall, and I really………"
Then lightning struck the tree and he blacked out.
~~~~~*~~~~~
The first thing he saw upon waking was the white ceiling. That, and the concerned face staring down at him. It was a man………wait. A man? Where was he? The man had brown hair and a worried expression. Sitting on the very edge of his foldable metal chair, he smoothed the sheets of the bed Kurama lay upon and scratched his head. Kurama gave a soft groan and sat up, rubbing his temple.
The man spoke. "Are you okay, sweetie? Does it hurt?"
Kurama shook his head, wondering vaguely who the man was. He looked a little tiny bit like his father. But his father was dead. "I'm fine," he muttered. "I just………I'm fine."
"Okay, then." The man still looked worried, but decided to let it go. "Uh………Want some coffee?"
"Sure," Kurama mumbled quietly. The brown-haired man stood and left, looking at him anxiously over his shoulder.
He was left alone sitting on the white sheets, staring at his hands. Where was he? The last thing he could remember was watching Frankie do a hula dance, and then, SOMETHING happened to make him pass out.
Contemplating this, he fingered the blankets, restless and for some reason hoping that the strange man would come back soon. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall above the door. Four thirty-nine. It would soon be time for that TV show, My Secret Garden. He hoped the hospital --- was it a hospital? had a TV with cable.
But what was My Secret Garden about anyway? Had he ever seen it? It was supposed to be very popular about sixteen years ago, according to his mother. But how did he know it existed?
The door creaked open slowly, and the brown-haired man came in, balancing a cup of coffee, a bagel, and a plate of macaroni and cheese in a small tray. "I got you some food, too," he whispered. "Along with the coffee." He placed the tray down on the beside table, and watched him warily.
Kurama bowed his head and murmured a quiet thanks. Taking the plate of macaroni, he picked up the fork and began eating quietly. The truth was, the macaroni was horrible. The cheese stuck together like rubber, and the noodles were stiff and hard. He almost broke a tooth chewing. However, he didn't want to hurt the man's feelings, so he finished the whole plate and smiled like it was wonderful. Then he picked up the bagel, eying it with distrust. Would it be as bad-tasting as the macaroni and cheese?
Biting into it, he was surprised to discover that it was actually pretty good --- better than the macaroni, anyway. Blueberries were embedded in it like sapphires in a cocoon of granite. Was that possible? He munched on the bagel and thought about the equivalence, reflecting on his ability to make strange analogies. He could say that Hiei was to Yukina as a fart was to a burp, but that wouldn't be acceptable in language class. He could also say that he was to the brown-haired man as mountains were to oceans, but that was confusing and only half-thought out. Maybe one day he would succeed at thinking strange analogies and publish them all in a book, but that was a faraway, impossible dream. He would set his ambitions to first learning where he was, who that man was, and why this hospital seemed to be intent on poisoning it's patients.
He gave a start of surprise. He seemingly no longer cared about turning back into a boy! The shock of this newfound idea wore away, though, and he was left thinking about his mother again, still masticating his bagel.
~~~~~*~~~~~
"So what do you suggest we do?" Yusuke grunted.
Hiei didn't answer. His crimson eyes were fixed on the car parked on the side of the road, but it was more like he was looking into the Great Beyond, where no one could reach him. Yusuke watched him for a moment, as if waiting for an answer, but then swept his eyes toward the sky and sang "I'm A Slave 4 U" under his breath. Getting into the spirit of things, he also began to sway his hips in the little Britney Spears dance. Passersby were staring at him with frightened expressions on their faces.
"Mommy, why is that ugly man shaking his butt?" inquired a little boy with a lollipop in his right hand.
"Pay no attention, Soichiro. He's a hobo. He doesn't know any better." The mother turned to leave, tugging on Soichiro's sleeve.
"Mommy, can I give the ugly hobo a piece of candy? He looks hungry. Maybe that's why he's so stupid. Mommy, please?"
"NO! Let's go, Soichiro."
Soon a large crowd had appeared, surrounding Yusuke The Britney Spears Wannabe. Yusuke enjoyed the crowd, and started singing louder. When he finished one song, he went to another. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted some bright red hair. His heartbeat quickened and he turned his head, expecting to see Kurama. But it was Kuwabara.
They stared at each other for a moment. "With a taste of your lips I'm………" The words faltered. Yusuke stared at Kuwabara; Kuwabara stared at Yusuke. Five minutes later, no one had moved a muscle.
"Aww, man, this guy's boring………"
"Let's go find some other hobo………"
"Ah………ah……AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kuwabara gave a bellow of laughter. Tears of mirth poured down his gaunt cheeks. "HOLY---HOLY---CRAP!!!!!!! URAMESHI!!!! You listen to………to………BRITNEY SPEARS????????"
"Shut up, Kuwabara," Yusuke muttered, his face reddening. "You don't know shit………"
~~~~~*~~~~~
"Are you sure you're all right, honey?"
Kurama nodded for what seemed like the fiftieth time that day, his neck uncomfortably sore. "I'm fine!" he said impatiently. "Just tell me where I am! And stop calling me honey. It gets on my nerves."
The man obeyed, sitting down on his chair. Another man, presumably a doctor, cleared his throat.
"Apparently your wife is suffering from some sort of amnesia, Minamino-san," he said, his deep voice resonating throughout the small room. "This………is surprising."
"I know."
Kurama was about ready to explode with questions. Why was he………this man's………wife?
"Is there anything we can do?" the man asked. His dark eyes were clouded over with worry. "I don't want my wife to………forget who I am."
"Oh, but she WON'T!" the doctor exhorted eagerly, his face all alight with excitement. "No, she can stay in the hospital and we'll have some tests put on her, it's really no problem at all."
The man turned toward her. "Do you……do you want to s-stay in the hospital for a while, Shiori-chan?" he stammered. "It wouldn't be for……for long………and that way we could help little Shuichi……"
Kurama gaped at him, shocked. "What do you mean?"
His face fell, and he looked miserable. "Don't you remember, Shiori? You're going to be a mommy soon, Shiori………"
A/N: Darn it. There's a bruise around my eye. It hurts.
I'm sorry for leaving you in the suspense like that…
Haven't you noticed how Kurama and Kenshin are nearly the same? They look alike. They have 2 personalities. They are mysterious. They are polite. Aloof. Girlish. Strong. Distant. Smile easily. You get the idea.
Heard about the new SATs? They should be easier for students to take. I'm still scared though. Maybe I should buy one of those SAT preparation books. I'll fail the math section.
The reason Kurama has red hair: Who knows? However, I have an idea why. But it might be too scientific. Ah well. If Shuichi's father has brown hair, and Shuichi's mother has black hair, the reason Shuichi has red hair is that, because red hair is a recessive gene, both his father and his mother were carrying the recessive gene for red hair. Because the genes for black and brown hair are dominant, that color showed up the most. This also explains why Kenshin has red hair.
I'm sorry if I bored you with my freaky scientific explanations for simple things like red hair. But………I'd really appreciate it if you
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