Reunited
Moria's Revenge
Chapter 31
Authors: Kookaburra and Llinos
Beta and additional material: Marigold
A/N: Hello dear readers, thank you again to all who are sticking with me! I really do appreciate it!
***
Merry was not sure whether to wake Pippin up or let him go on sleeping. He was so restless and cried out every so often, it was obvious that he was having a nightmare. But on the other hand it had taken so long to calm him enough so that he could sleep, Merry thought that any sleep, even a nightmare would be better for Pippin than no rest at all.
But he wouldn't rest. He owed that much and more to Pip, Merry thought. While his little cousin quivered and moaned in his dreams, he Meriadoc would watch over him and if he became too distressed then he could wake him.
Merry remembered when Pippin had stayed at Brandy Hall as a youngling and had been given a bed in his room, how he had awoken him sobbing in the night. Merry had thought at first he was ill and had been about to fetch his Mamma when Pip had managed to choke out that he was crying because of the troll that had been waiting for them at Bucklebury Ferry. Merry was mystified by this and cuddling the little one closely, had asked him gently what he meant; there was no troll at the ferry.
Pippin explained that his father had been complaining to his mother about it all the way to Buckland and said they shouldn't have to pay the troll. Merry puzzled for a moment and then realised Pip's confusion. "Oh it's a toll, Pippin - not a troll. It's just copper pennies you have to pay to get the ferryman to take you over the river."
It took quite a bit more explanation, but Merry had finally convinced Pip that the ferryman was just making a living and was indeed not a troll, but a hobbit like him and would certainly not eat him or his parents or sisters. But Pippin still needed to sleep in Merry's bed with him and that had become the case from then on whenever the family visited. Merry wished that Pippin's nightmares could now be as easily comforted away.
Pippin's dream had started happily enough. In the initial forgetfulness of sleep he saw Umumum running over a grassy plain - it looked like Green Hill Country by the Great Smials - she was going so fast he could not even get his pony to keep up. As she drew a long way ahead of him the white warg stopped and turned, waiting for him to catch up, her coat glimmering and her eyes shining. Although her tongue lolled out, she was hardly out of breath and was smiling happily at him, more like a great dog than a warg, with her bushy tail waving in the air.
As he drew near to her, Pippin's pony suddenly reared and threw him before bolting off in terror. Umumum whirled round and was crouched before the hobbit in a second, her paws splayed out before her and her top lip snarling in anger.
Pippin realised this was not directed at him and turned fearfully round to see the object of Umumum's anger. Two large orcs were coming towards them!
Pippin whimpered fearfully in his sleep and in his dream. He clung to Icicle's white fur, but the warg pulled away from him as she leapt over his prone form and fell upon the first orc, her teeth going straight for his throat. She fought like a thing possessed, her body a white whirl of speed and teeth. But the second orc raised his bow and fired off an arrow that plunged deep into Umumum's heart.
Pippin cried out, both in his sleep and in his nightmare. Merry soothed his head and whispered in his ear, "hush, sweet, don't fret, your Merry's here."
The orc reached down and stroked his head, grinning into his face. "You're sweet, sweet and ripe and no one's here."
The orc grabbed Pippin's hair now and lifted him off the ground, his feet dangling and kicking uselessly. He saw Umumum's dead body below him, the red blood spreading across her white coat until all he could see was red.
Then he felt the orc begin to rip his clothes off using both its teeth and claws, tearing and snarling at him until he was completely naked and vulnerable. Once more he could feel the terrible collar around his neck and the orc that was holding him turned into Frugly and then the other two who had been with Frugly before were there with him.
"So yer enjoyed yerself so much little Dogwhore, yers come back fer some more." Frugly sneered and began to loosen his member and thrust his hips towards Pippin with a sadistic leer on his face.
"Please, not again, don't. I'll die, you'll split me in two." Pippin sobbed over and over. "No! Not again, not again. I know I'm bad, I'll be good, I promise, I'll be good."
"Not good enough!" snarled Frugly and dropped Pippin to the floor so he landed on all fours. The hobbit felt himself scrabbling on the ground, trying to crawl away, but one of the other orcs had his foot on the leash attached to his collar and he couldn't move.
Then he felt the orc hands all over him, touching him, hurting him, hitting him. A hand knotted in his curls pulling his head up and his jaw was dragged open. Two fists grabbed his hips from behind and he felt the first thrust.
Pippin screamed!
"Wake up, Pippin, wake up my lamb." Merry shook him now. "Don't fret, I'm here, open your eyes, come on my sweet."
Pippin's eyes opened wide with terror, looking frantically around and still caught in the horror of the dream, so real it had seemed. Gradually he became aware that it was Merry who was shaking him awake and then holding him tightly in an embrace as he sobbed his anguish. "It's all right, Pippin, I'm here." Merry was whispering over and over again.
"B-but you w-weren't Merry." Pippin finally managed to stutter a few words.
"Yes, I've been right here with you all along, my Pip." Merry soothed. "I won't leave you - I promise."
"B-but you w-weren't in my dr-dream Merry," Pippin drew a wrenching sigh, "You can't f-follow me there. and. it was. they came. again. oh Merry!"
"It was just a dream, Pip." Merry hugged him and snuggled his head against Pippin's curls. "No one came in the room, it wasn't real, whatever it was didn't really happen."
"But it d-did!" Pippin was still agitated. "It was Umumum and she was killed and then orcs came and got me and hurted me again. like they did! It did happen Merry. it did!"
Merry did not know what to say to this. What Pippin said was true and he knew, had always known, that it was his fault. Everything that his little Pippin had suffered had been his fault and his alone. If he had taken better care of his cousin instead of being wrapped up in his own grief at losing Gandalf, Pippin would never have been stolen by the terrible orcs and it wouldn't have happened.
"Pip, my love, I-I don't know what to say to you." Merry too had tears running down his cheeks now. "I know it happened and it shouldn't have and it was all my fault that it did and I'm so sorry Pip, so, so sorry. I made a dreadful mistake. I was bad, selfish and thoughtless and I don't deserve your forgiveness, so I won't ask for it. But Pip, in spite of what I let happen to you, I want you to know that I do love you so very much. I don't think I ever told you properly and when you were lost I kept thinking that I hadn't told you at all that I loved you and you might never know. You're my most precious little cousin and. and. I'll always love you. just that."
Pippin sat opened-mouthed now, his sobbing halted by Merry's long speech. He spent a long time trying to digest all that Merry had just said. It had all come out so fast and seemed a little jumbled but what Pippin understood was that Merry blamed himself for everything that had happened and that he loved him.
He took Merry's hand and looked at him with his head on one side. Merry was a picture of misery and was sniffing loudly as he tried to stifle his tears. "Merry, please don't cry." Pippin hated to see him so unhappy. "It couldn't have been your fault, you're not bad, you've never been bad."
Merry looked up woefully shaking his head in despair, "It shouldn't have happened Pip, I shouldn't have lost you. It was unforgivable, and. and if I hadn't lost you. all those dreadful things wouldn't have happened. and now Umumum and. and. it's all my fault! I never told you before so I couldn't ask you to forgive me - and it would be too much to ask, but I want you to know I'd give anything for it not to have happened - anything!"
"I know that!"
Pippin's three simple words took Merry by surprise. "Pip?"
"You told me." Pip snuggled his little body into his cousin's. "You wrote it all down for me Merry."
Merry had not forgotten the poem he had written and given to Pippin, but in his mind it wasn't the same as actually saying something.
Then Pippin added, "but I knew anyway. And how you feel. You love me and I love you, we always did and we always will." Pippin actually managed a small teary smile, "Anyway - our Mammas said we must!"
Merry gave another sniff, wondering what had become of his handkerchief, but refraining from using the sleeve of his nightshirt. "And since when did you do what your Mamma said, Peregrin Took?" he teased.
"Since she told me that." Pippin wriggled around in the bed now and felt under the pillow for his poem. "I know you mean all the words Merry" He said seriously now, "truly I do and it would be so nice to hear you read it out to me - even though it is very sad."
"I know it's sad, but that was how I felt." Merry hugged Pippin now and managed a little smile himself. "Because it was so. so - sad. Is still sad."
"But it wasn't your fault Merry. Please, please don't say it was or even think that it was. You saying that makes me so unhappy." Pippin held out the folded over paper with the poem on it. "You could read me the poem - but leave out the sad bits."
Merry shook his head, "No I don't need the paper, Pip." Merry smiled, "I have it written right here." He patted his chest, "In my heart."
"Will you say it then Merry?" Pippin spread out the paper on the big bed and as his cousin began to say the words he followed the poem with his finger - or tried to.
"When we were young,
our world was fine,
I was yours
and you were mine.
"I paused for a moment -
that's when you were lost,
The mistake was mine,
but you paid the cost.
"I can't change what happened
but you know it's true
Pip, if I could
then that's what I'd do.
"But you survived
because you were strong
and came back to me
where you belong.
"And now you are here
I promise to keep
You safe by my side,
awake or asleep.
"Nothing will touch you
nothing at all
I'll hold you close
and not let you fall.
"You came back to me
'cause you know I won't hurt you,
Or make you feel sad,
I'll never desert you.
"I'll bake you a cake
of laughter and fun,
Paint you a world
of big yellow sun.
"Give you sweet dreams
and make them come true,
I'm sure I can Pip
if they are for you.
"We'll try only to laugh
and never to cry,
Same as we used to
my Pip - you and I.
"The love that I give you
has only one measure
It has no beginning
and it ends with forever.
"So here is my heart
and if my soul endures,
The Valar can't have it -
because Pippin it's yours."
When Merry had finished Pippin looked up at him with shining eyes, "Merry you changed it all. except the last bit."
"I know, that's because things have changed. I meant what I wrote the first time and I mean this just as much." Merry put his arms around Pippin and snuggled down sleepily. "But I'll never change the last part, because I mean it more than ever. That's how much I love you, my Pip."
Pippin snuggled down too, yawning sleepily. He knew that the nightmare was gone for tonight. He missed Umumum terribly, but Merry was here and would stay close and he knew Merry missed her too. If they dreamed together that might help to send good thoughts of her to wherever she was. Pippin just hoped and prayed that wherever it was, she was happy.
0-****-0
Icicle whined again, and her tail made a few weak thumps on the ground. As one, Gimli, Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas rushed towards her. Aragorn reached her first, then Legolas, and, as the elf supported her head, the ranger made a thorough examination. Except for a dusting of dried blood on her side, the warg was unscathed. The companions were all stunned into an awed silence to begin with, looking at one another in amazement.
"Fair Lady, Worthy Haldir," Gimli's gravely baritone broke in on the silence. "Surely the Elven race is the most blessed of all peoples! To be witness to such a miracle is an honour above and beyond any I had ever imagined or hoped to receive."
"I always thought that dwarves mined mithril, not used it to fashion their tongues!" laughed the Lady. "You are most eloquent Master Gimli, and you most certainly do deserve it for else the Valar would not have permitted you to witness to such an event." Galadriel looked around at all the other companions with an expression that indicated they were all indeed worthy to have seen such a miracle.
Haldir looked up at this. The elf appeared somewhat shaken and his pallor indicated that although the Valar had allowed him to keep his immortality, they had used some of his strength to revitalise the warg.
"I admit that I misjudged Master Gimli sorely. Nay! I did not judge him at all, only relied on clearly false preconceived notions of dwerrows, and for that I beg his forgiveness."
Legolas watched this exchange, and at Haldir's apology, held his breath. 'Let not the stiff necks of the dwarves' surface now!' he begged the Valar. For he knew Gimli, and the dwarf was not one to give up grudges so easily. Yet he also knew Haldir, and he had *never* heard the proud Marchwarden of the Golden Wood offer an apology to anyone.
Gimli was at a loss for words. He was actually being apologised to by an elf! And this elf, probably the proudest, most conceited elf in all of Middle Earth...'I cannot wait to get back and tell my father of this!' Briefly the thought flashed through his mind to simply dismiss the apology as unworthy of his attention - the humiliation of being singled out for conditional entry to the Golden Wood still galled - but Gloin had not brought his son up to be so base as that.
"I accept your apology, Master Haldir." Gimli replied. "I understand that you were acting with the noblest of intentions. I must admit, I had harboured unworthy thoughts and ideas about the Firstborn. I see now they too were completely unfounded. I hope that this will signal the mending of the rift between our peoples."
"I am sure it will, Son of Gloin." Galadriel smiled fondly down at Gimli. "Now I must bid you farewell. Haldir must have the honour of presenting the nestraden naneth to the tithen gem perian. The deed and petition was his." Then without a word, she turned and was gone, a golden sunbeam was all that was left where she had stood.
After a few moments of silence, Boromir cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should take Lady Icicle down to the stream before making the long journey up to the talan? For it seems that the warg is weak in body. Perhaps some water would revive her."
"And no small wonder that she is weary" exclaimed Legolas. The elf knelt down by Icicle's head and smiled when she thumped her tail again and licked his hand tentatively. "Where have you been wandering, mother?" he asked her, "What wonders could you tell us of?" Icicle simply whined again, and put her snowy head back down, clearly exhausted.
Aragorn and Boromir lifted her, and the small troop went in search of the stream that sent gurgling sounds through the trees nearby. Legolas lent his support to Haldir, from whom the Valar had clearly taken some energy to resurrect Icicle.
When they reached the stream, Icicle was able to stand and drink, but her legs quivered under her. When she was finished, she sat on the bank and whined.
"What is it, Lady Wolf?" asked Haldir respectfully. Icicle did not show any signs of animosity for the elf's attack, she only wagged her tail harder and pushed her nose into his hand.
"I will thought-link with her and find out," stated Legolas. "Do not look so alarmed, Haldir! I have done so before. Her mind is very ordered and serene for a beast. I am in no danger in her thoughts." With that, he sank into the partial trance, and entered the wolf's mental aura.
First he sent a picture of Icicle herself, along with a questioning sensation. She responded with a picture of Pippin and a question of her own. Oh, of course. He could not feel any bodily injuries to the nestraden naneth but she was very anxious about the health of her cub. He sent a picture of Pippin curled up safe in an underground den. She mulled over the image, and then sent another. This one was of Frodo. Then another came of Frodo lying in a pool of blood, along with another wave of concern. Legolas had to consider how to convey that Frodo was not well, and might die. He decided that that was too complicated for right now, and added Frodo curled up with Pippin in the den. Icicle digested this one as well. Then the aura of her mind changed suddenly. She had sensed the mendacity in this image, and demanded the truth.
Legolas was stunned. She had certainly not been able to do that before! So he fed her the real image, of Frodo, his chest rising and falling but still and pale with Sam sitting above him and weeping bitterly. Icicle accepted this image, and then sent another one of Pippin with her curled around him.
Legolas deftly withdrew himself from her mind, and opened his eyes. Patting her on the head, he chuckled, "You do have a one purpose mind my Lady, do you not? Come," he said to the others. "Let us take her back to where she belongs, with her cubs!"
0-****-0
On the way up to the healing flet, they met Deilen and Silael in conference. Both were amazed at the story of the miracle, and Silael decided to continue with them, as he was due to check his patients, and Deilen descended to inform Melystra and others of the incredible happenings.
When Aragorn became weary from carrying the warg's formidable weight, Boromir took her.
He was bearing her when they came to the chambers. Icicle clearly recognised the rooms, and she wriggled and whimpered a little. Boromir gently set her down on the floorboards, where she swayed slightly, but remained upright.
"When I left them, Merry and Pippin were in a deep slumber." whispered Silael. "Let us check on Samwise and Frodo, our passing their room will surely wake Sam, anyhow." the tall elf crossed the common room, and entered the chamber where they had left the Ringbearer. Aragorn and Legolas followed, and looked in through the doorway.
They could see Sam, asleep on the bed next to Frodo, obviously ready to wake if there was any change in the frail hobbit's state. When Silael reached out to check Frodo's pulse, Sam's eyes flickered open.
"Huh? Wha-..." Sam sat up and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. When he saw Silael, he asked, "Has there been any change, Sir? I've not hurt Mr. Frodo by sleepin' up here, have I?" Silael smiled at the concern evident in the small hobbit's eyes.
"No, Samwise. It is good that you have remained close to your master. If he awoke it would comfort him a great deal to know that you were near." Sam smiled back in relief.
"Good...er...Mornin'" Sam had to check the window to see if the salutation was correct- "Mr. Strider, Mr. Legolas. You've slept well?" The words were platitudes and Sam knew it, but they were all his emotionally exhausted mind could come up with.
Aragorn sighed wearily. "I am afraid we have not once found our way to our beds this night. But Sam, something miraculous has occurred!" At that moment, Icicle poked her head in through the door. Sam's jaw nearly hit the floor.
"But that's - it can't be- she's dead- I saw her-" He stammered.
"Nay, Samwise." Legolas stemmed the flow of exclamations. "By the grace of the Valar, Lady Galadriel, and the courage of Master Haldir, Icicle has been returned from the halls of Mandos."
Sam slid off the bed and walked tentatively towards Icicle. She perked up her ears in recognition and whined again. Sam was wonderstruck as he patted her soft head fur. She was solid and real and alive. His poor confused mind was spinning with the implications of it.
"B-but how?" Sam asked, looking up at Aragorn.
The Ranger smiled and knelt down, joining Sam in stroking Icicle's ruff.
"Well, it just comes down to the incredible things that can happen when we forgive someone, Samwise..."
"Is it - well I mean - is it some kind of - of magic?" Sam stammered with an embarrassed glance up at Haldir. His Gaffer had always told him that "real magick" was stuff and nonsense that the likes of him shouldn't be a'meddling with, but secretly Sam had always believed in enchantments and spells and so forth.
Haldir smiled back, something he was becoming much more accustomed to doing. "The Valar intervened Master Samwise. It was obviously not her time to leave this world and so they returned her to us and most especially to young Master Peregrin."
"Well I can see that would be a good thing." Sam agreed. "Does Mr. Pippin know yet?"
"No, not yet." Aragorn straightened up from petting Icicle. "He and Merry are sleeping, but perhaps we, or rather Haldir, should take her to them without further delay. The warg mother grows anxious herself to see Pippin."
"Will you come?" Haldir asked the others. He was still not entirely comfortable in the company of the hobbits - he found them in many ways childlike and yet profoundly wise in their simplicity.
Legolas and Boromir accompanied him, whilst Aragorn stayed to see how Frodo was faring and Gimli went in search of sustenance for Icicle.
Both the cousins were still sleeping when they entered the room, Merry protectively wrapping his arm around Pippin's body while he in turn snuggled into his cousin's side.
"Should I wake them?" Haldir asked Legolas and Boromir, "they seem so peaceful."
Before either the man or the elf could respond, Icicle settled the matter by jumping up on the bed to nuzzle and lick Pippin, as she whined a little in delight at finding her cub again. Merry awoke at once although Pippin, thoroughly exhausted by his earlier nightmare and tears slept on. He snuffled a little in his sleep and threw his arm unconsciously around Umumum as if she had never been gone.
Merry sat up, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped down. "W-what. I don't understand. how is Icicle here?"
"A request was made on behalf of the little one to the Valar," Haldir explained, "and in Their Wisdom and Grace it was granted - Icicle has been returned."
"B-but it doesn't seem possible." Merry reached out a hand to touch the warm fur and drew back quickly as if it were hot. "She lives, but she was dead."
"Haldir offered a great sacrifice to." Boromir began.
"Peace, my friend," Haldir held up his hand. "Suffice it to say Meriadoc that the Valar have long guided the path of the mother warg. I know now that it was no accident that she was there to succour the little one in his hour of need. It is, I believe, Their will that she continue to care for and protect him."
"Did. did you ask Them. I mean the Valar. did you a-ask Them to do this?" Merry stammered in awe. "You must be a truly important and special elf to speak with the Valar, Haldir."
"Not I Master Merry," Haldir smiled at the halflings reverence to him. "I think rather it is your young cousin that has Their ear."
Pippin smiled in his sleep as Umumum continued to lick him and eventually he opened his eyes and blearily peeped around him. At first he shut his lids again, mumbling contentedly in the warg's ear, "Umumum that tickles." Then his hand suddenly groped at the white fur and his eyes shot open wider than wide and he gave a small squeal of delight and astonishment. "Umumum! Umumum! Merry how? What happened?"
Merry held his hand and steadied Pip by his shoulder. He could feel the excitement, mingled with fear and wonder coursing through Pippin's body and in his face he could see utter confusion. Merry felt much the same way himself. "It's all right Pip, really it is. Umumum's been sent back to you, because, because. well Haldir says it's because you're really special and important to the Valar."
Pippin looked at the two elves and Boromir and then back at Merry in bewilderment and whispered, "what does he mean Merry? I'm not special or important, I'm just Pippin, aren't I?"
Haldir had heard the sotto voce question, " Little one," he said softly, bending down to be level with Pippin, "you are very special and the Valar have given back the life of your beloved warg for that reason."
"I don't understand what you mean." Pippin's brow furrowed in dismay, he turned to his cousin and whispered. "What do I have to do, Merry? I don't think I could be brave like Frodo or clever like you or do any of the things Sam does, how do I have to be special?"
Merry shook his head and shrugged a little. "I'm not sure Pip, don't worry perhaps Mister Haldir can explain what you have to do. Perhaps I can help you, whatever it is."
Legolas and Boromir exchanged glances and smiled a little. They both tacitly decided that Haldir was on his own. The tall elf turned to them with a pleading look and both the Prince of Mirkwood and the Son of Gondor shook their heads and retreated a little, but not so far they could not eavesdrop.
"Peregrin - Pippin, you don't have to do anything." Haldir began. "Just get well again and carry on being you. The Valar say that you are special and that - well for that reason They sent Icicle - Umum to you to take care of you when - when the orcs had you. They could not stop what was happening, but They wanted you to survive and sent what little comfort They could in the form of the nestraden naneth - that's Umum - and that's why she cared for you. When I shot her it was too great an ill for you to bear and too dire an end for her to meet. The Valar wanted you to have her back. Do you understand?"
Pippin looked at Haldir and blinked a little. "If I don't understand can Umumum still stay? Do I have to understand for her to be alive?"
"No," Haldir sighed a little realising that he may have to be content with the hobbits not really comprehending but accepting it anyway. "You don't need to do anything, Pippin. She is alive and can stay with you."
"Really? She is really back? It's not a dream?" Pippin hugged the warg around her big ruff of a neck and snuggled his face into her fur.
"Yes, Pippin," Haldir confirmed. "It's not a dream and she can stay and you are, I promise you, very, very special."
Pippin sighed contentedly as he lay carefully down curling into Umumum's warm body with Merry beside him also wrapped around the warg and him. He had so many good things now. Merry loved him, Umumum was alive and apparently he was special - whatever that meant.
***
TBC...
Moria's Revenge
Chapter 31
Authors: Kookaburra and Llinos
Beta and additional material: Marigold
A/N: Hello dear readers, thank you again to all who are sticking with me! I really do appreciate it!
***
Merry was not sure whether to wake Pippin up or let him go on sleeping. He was so restless and cried out every so often, it was obvious that he was having a nightmare. But on the other hand it had taken so long to calm him enough so that he could sleep, Merry thought that any sleep, even a nightmare would be better for Pippin than no rest at all.
But he wouldn't rest. He owed that much and more to Pip, Merry thought. While his little cousin quivered and moaned in his dreams, he Meriadoc would watch over him and if he became too distressed then he could wake him.
Merry remembered when Pippin had stayed at Brandy Hall as a youngling and had been given a bed in his room, how he had awoken him sobbing in the night. Merry had thought at first he was ill and had been about to fetch his Mamma when Pip had managed to choke out that he was crying because of the troll that had been waiting for them at Bucklebury Ferry. Merry was mystified by this and cuddling the little one closely, had asked him gently what he meant; there was no troll at the ferry.
Pippin explained that his father had been complaining to his mother about it all the way to Buckland and said they shouldn't have to pay the troll. Merry puzzled for a moment and then realised Pip's confusion. "Oh it's a toll, Pippin - not a troll. It's just copper pennies you have to pay to get the ferryman to take you over the river."
It took quite a bit more explanation, but Merry had finally convinced Pip that the ferryman was just making a living and was indeed not a troll, but a hobbit like him and would certainly not eat him or his parents or sisters. But Pippin still needed to sleep in Merry's bed with him and that had become the case from then on whenever the family visited. Merry wished that Pippin's nightmares could now be as easily comforted away.
Pippin's dream had started happily enough. In the initial forgetfulness of sleep he saw Umumum running over a grassy plain - it looked like Green Hill Country by the Great Smials - she was going so fast he could not even get his pony to keep up. As she drew a long way ahead of him the white warg stopped and turned, waiting for him to catch up, her coat glimmering and her eyes shining. Although her tongue lolled out, she was hardly out of breath and was smiling happily at him, more like a great dog than a warg, with her bushy tail waving in the air.
As he drew near to her, Pippin's pony suddenly reared and threw him before bolting off in terror. Umumum whirled round and was crouched before the hobbit in a second, her paws splayed out before her and her top lip snarling in anger.
Pippin realised this was not directed at him and turned fearfully round to see the object of Umumum's anger. Two large orcs were coming towards them!
Pippin whimpered fearfully in his sleep and in his dream. He clung to Icicle's white fur, but the warg pulled away from him as she leapt over his prone form and fell upon the first orc, her teeth going straight for his throat. She fought like a thing possessed, her body a white whirl of speed and teeth. But the second orc raised his bow and fired off an arrow that plunged deep into Umumum's heart.
Pippin cried out, both in his sleep and in his nightmare. Merry soothed his head and whispered in his ear, "hush, sweet, don't fret, your Merry's here."
The orc reached down and stroked his head, grinning into his face. "You're sweet, sweet and ripe and no one's here."
The orc grabbed Pippin's hair now and lifted him off the ground, his feet dangling and kicking uselessly. He saw Umumum's dead body below him, the red blood spreading across her white coat until all he could see was red.
Then he felt the orc begin to rip his clothes off using both its teeth and claws, tearing and snarling at him until he was completely naked and vulnerable. Once more he could feel the terrible collar around his neck and the orc that was holding him turned into Frugly and then the other two who had been with Frugly before were there with him.
"So yer enjoyed yerself so much little Dogwhore, yers come back fer some more." Frugly sneered and began to loosen his member and thrust his hips towards Pippin with a sadistic leer on his face.
"Please, not again, don't. I'll die, you'll split me in two." Pippin sobbed over and over. "No! Not again, not again. I know I'm bad, I'll be good, I promise, I'll be good."
"Not good enough!" snarled Frugly and dropped Pippin to the floor so he landed on all fours. The hobbit felt himself scrabbling on the ground, trying to crawl away, but one of the other orcs had his foot on the leash attached to his collar and he couldn't move.
Then he felt the orc hands all over him, touching him, hurting him, hitting him. A hand knotted in his curls pulling his head up and his jaw was dragged open. Two fists grabbed his hips from behind and he felt the first thrust.
Pippin screamed!
"Wake up, Pippin, wake up my lamb." Merry shook him now. "Don't fret, I'm here, open your eyes, come on my sweet."
Pippin's eyes opened wide with terror, looking frantically around and still caught in the horror of the dream, so real it had seemed. Gradually he became aware that it was Merry who was shaking him awake and then holding him tightly in an embrace as he sobbed his anguish. "It's all right, Pippin, I'm here." Merry was whispering over and over again.
"B-but you w-weren't Merry." Pippin finally managed to stutter a few words.
"Yes, I've been right here with you all along, my Pip." Merry soothed. "I won't leave you - I promise."
"B-but you w-weren't in my dr-dream Merry," Pippin drew a wrenching sigh, "You can't f-follow me there. and. it was. they came. again. oh Merry!"
"It was just a dream, Pip." Merry hugged him and snuggled his head against Pippin's curls. "No one came in the room, it wasn't real, whatever it was didn't really happen."
"But it d-did!" Pippin was still agitated. "It was Umumum and she was killed and then orcs came and got me and hurted me again. like they did! It did happen Merry. it did!"
Merry did not know what to say to this. What Pippin said was true and he knew, had always known, that it was his fault. Everything that his little Pippin had suffered had been his fault and his alone. If he had taken better care of his cousin instead of being wrapped up in his own grief at losing Gandalf, Pippin would never have been stolen by the terrible orcs and it wouldn't have happened.
"Pip, my love, I-I don't know what to say to you." Merry too had tears running down his cheeks now. "I know it happened and it shouldn't have and it was all my fault that it did and I'm so sorry Pip, so, so sorry. I made a dreadful mistake. I was bad, selfish and thoughtless and I don't deserve your forgiveness, so I won't ask for it. But Pip, in spite of what I let happen to you, I want you to know that I do love you so very much. I don't think I ever told you properly and when you were lost I kept thinking that I hadn't told you at all that I loved you and you might never know. You're my most precious little cousin and. and. I'll always love you. just that."
Pippin sat opened-mouthed now, his sobbing halted by Merry's long speech. He spent a long time trying to digest all that Merry had just said. It had all come out so fast and seemed a little jumbled but what Pippin understood was that Merry blamed himself for everything that had happened and that he loved him.
He took Merry's hand and looked at him with his head on one side. Merry was a picture of misery and was sniffing loudly as he tried to stifle his tears. "Merry, please don't cry." Pippin hated to see him so unhappy. "It couldn't have been your fault, you're not bad, you've never been bad."
Merry looked up woefully shaking his head in despair, "It shouldn't have happened Pip, I shouldn't have lost you. It was unforgivable, and. and if I hadn't lost you. all those dreadful things wouldn't have happened. and now Umumum and. and. it's all my fault! I never told you before so I couldn't ask you to forgive me - and it would be too much to ask, but I want you to know I'd give anything for it not to have happened - anything!"
"I know that!"
Pippin's three simple words took Merry by surprise. "Pip?"
"You told me." Pip snuggled his little body into his cousin's. "You wrote it all down for me Merry."
Merry had not forgotten the poem he had written and given to Pippin, but in his mind it wasn't the same as actually saying something.
Then Pippin added, "but I knew anyway. And how you feel. You love me and I love you, we always did and we always will." Pippin actually managed a small teary smile, "Anyway - our Mammas said we must!"
Merry gave another sniff, wondering what had become of his handkerchief, but refraining from using the sleeve of his nightshirt. "And since when did you do what your Mamma said, Peregrin Took?" he teased.
"Since she told me that." Pippin wriggled around in the bed now and felt under the pillow for his poem. "I know you mean all the words Merry" He said seriously now, "truly I do and it would be so nice to hear you read it out to me - even though it is very sad."
"I know it's sad, but that was how I felt." Merry hugged Pippin now and managed a little smile himself. "Because it was so. so - sad. Is still sad."
"But it wasn't your fault Merry. Please, please don't say it was or even think that it was. You saying that makes me so unhappy." Pippin held out the folded over paper with the poem on it. "You could read me the poem - but leave out the sad bits."
Merry shook his head, "No I don't need the paper, Pip." Merry smiled, "I have it written right here." He patted his chest, "In my heart."
"Will you say it then Merry?" Pippin spread out the paper on the big bed and as his cousin began to say the words he followed the poem with his finger - or tried to.
"When we were young,
our world was fine,
I was yours
and you were mine.
"I paused for a moment -
that's when you were lost,
The mistake was mine,
but you paid the cost.
"I can't change what happened
but you know it's true
Pip, if I could
then that's what I'd do.
"But you survived
because you were strong
and came back to me
where you belong.
"And now you are here
I promise to keep
You safe by my side,
awake or asleep.
"Nothing will touch you
nothing at all
I'll hold you close
and not let you fall.
"You came back to me
'cause you know I won't hurt you,
Or make you feel sad,
I'll never desert you.
"I'll bake you a cake
of laughter and fun,
Paint you a world
of big yellow sun.
"Give you sweet dreams
and make them come true,
I'm sure I can Pip
if they are for you.
"We'll try only to laugh
and never to cry,
Same as we used to
my Pip - you and I.
"The love that I give you
has only one measure
It has no beginning
and it ends with forever.
"So here is my heart
and if my soul endures,
The Valar can't have it -
because Pippin it's yours."
When Merry had finished Pippin looked up at him with shining eyes, "Merry you changed it all. except the last bit."
"I know, that's because things have changed. I meant what I wrote the first time and I mean this just as much." Merry put his arms around Pippin and snuggled down sleepily. "But I'll never change the last part, because I mean it more than ever. That's how much I love you, my Pip."
Pippin snuggled down too, yawning sleepily. He knew that the nightmare was gone for tonight. He missed Umumum terribly, but Merry was here and would stay close and he knew Merry missed her too. If they dreamed together that might help to send good thoughts of her to wherever she was. Pippin just hoped and prayed that wherever it was, she was happy.
0-****-0
Icicle whined again, and her tail made a few weak thumps on the ground. As one, Gimli, Aragorn, Boromir and Legolas rushed towards her. Aragorn reached her first, then Legolas, and, as the elf supported her head, the ranger made a thorough examination. Except for a dusting of dried blood on her side, the warg was unscathed. The companions were all stunned into an awed silence to begin with, looking at one another in amazement.
"Fair Lady, Worthy Haldir," Gimli's gravely baritone broke in on the silence. "Surely the Elven race is the most blessed of all peoples! To be witness to such a miracle is an honour above and beyond any I had ever imagined or hoped to receive."
"I always thought that dwarves mined mithril, not used it to fashion their tongues!" laughed the Lady. "You are most eloquent Master Gimli, and you most certainly do deserve it for else the Valar would not have permitted you to witness to such an event." Galadriel looked around at all the other companions with an expression that indicated they were all indeed worthy to have seen such a miracle.
Haldir looked up at this. The elf appeared somewhat shaken and his pallor indicated that although the Valar had allowed him to keep his immortality, they had used some of his strength to revitalise the warg.
"I admit that I misjudged Master Gimli sorely. Nay! I did not judge him at all, only relied on clearly false preconceived notions of dwerrows, and for that I beg his forgiveness."
Legolas watched this exchange, and at Haldir's apology, held his breath. 'Let not the stiff necks of the dwarves' surface now!' he begged the Valar. For he knew Gimli, and the dwarf was not one to give up grudges so easily. Yet he also knew Haldir, and he had *never* heard the proud Marchwarden of the Golden Wood offer an apology to anyone.
Gimli was at a loss for words. He was actually being apologised to by an elf! And this elf, probably the proudest, most conceited elf in all of Middle Earth...'I cannot wait to get back and tell my father of this!' Briefly the thought flashed through his mind to simply dismiss the apology as unworthy of his attention - the humiliation of being singled out for conditional entry to the Golden Wood still galled - but Gloin had not brought his son up to be so base as that.
"I accept your apology, Master Haldir." Gimli replied. "I understand that you were acting with the noblest of intentions. I must admit, I had harboured unworthy thoughts and ideas about the Firstborn. I see now they too were completely unfounded. I hope that this will signal the mending of the rift between our peoples."
"I am sure it will, Son of Gloin." Galadriel smiled fondly down at Gimli. "Now I must bid you farewell. Haldir must have the honour of presenting the nestraden naneth to the tithen gem perian. The deed and petition was his." Then without a word, she turned and was gone, a golden sunbeam was all that was left where she had stood.
After a few moments of silence, Boromir cleared his throat. "Perhaps we should take Lady Icicle down to the stream before making the long journey up to the talan? For it seems that the warg is weak in body. Perhaps some water would revive her."
"And no small wonder that she is weary" exclaimed Legolas. The elf knelt down by Icicle's head and smiled when she thumped her tail again and licked his hand tentatively. "Where have you been wandering, mother?" he asked her, "What wonders could you tell us of?" Icicle simply whined again, and put her snowy head back down, clearly exhausted.
Aragorn and Boromir lifted her, and the small troop went in search of the stream that sent gurgling sounds through the trees nearby. Legolas lent his support to Haldir, from whom the Valar had clearly taken some energy to resurrect Icicle.
When they reached the stream, Icicle was able to stand and drink, but her legs quivered under her. When she was finished, she sat on the bank and whined.
"What is it, Lady Wolf?" asked Haldir respectfully. Icicle did not show any signs of animosity for the elf's attack, she only wagged her tail harder and pushed her nose into his hand.
"I will thought-link with her and find out," stated Legolas. "Do not look so alarmed, Haldir! I have done so before. Her mind is very ordered and serene for a beast. I am in no danger in her thoughts." With that, he sank into the partial trance, and entered the wolf's mental aura.
First he sent a picture of Icicle herself, along with a questioning sensation. She responded with a picture of Pippin and a question of her own. Oh, of course. He could not feel any bodily injuries to the nestraden naneth but she was very anxious about the health of her cub. He sent a picture of Pippin curled up safe in an underground den. She mulled over the image, and then sent another. This one was of Frodo. Then another came of Frodo lying in a pool of blood, along with another wave of concern. Legolas had to consider how to convey that Frodo was not well, and might die. He decided that that was too complicated for right now, and added Frodo curled up with Pippin in the den. Icicle digested this one as well. Then the aura of her mind changed suddenly. She had sensed the mendacity in this image, and demanded the truth.
Legolas was stunned. She had certainly not been able to do that before! So he fed her the real image, of Frodo, his chest rising and falling but still and pale with Sam sitting above him and weeping bitterly. Icicle accepted this image, and then sent another one of Pippin with her curled around him.
Legolas deftly withdrew himself from her mind, and opened his eyes. Patting her on the head, he chuckled, "You do have a one purpose mind my Lady, do you not? Come," he said to the others. "Let us take her back to where she belongs, with her cubs!"
0-****-0
On the way up to the healing flet, they met Deilen and Silael in conference. Both were amazed at the story of the miracle, and Silael decided to continue with them, as he was due to check his patients, and Deilen descended to inform Melystra and others of the incredible happenings.
When Aragorn became weary from carrying the warg's formidable weight, Boromir took her.
He was bearing her when they came to the chambers. Icicle clearly recognised the rooms, and she wriggled and whimpered a little. Boromir gently set her down on the floorboards, where she swayed slightly, but remained upright.
"When I left them, Merry and Pippin were in a deep slumber." whispered Silael. "Let us check on Samwise and Frodo, our passing their room will surely wake Sam, anyhow." the tall elf crossed the common room, and entered the chamber where they had left the Ringbearer. Aragorn and Legolas followed, and looked in through the doorway.
They could see Sam, asleep on the bed next to Frodo, obviously ready to wake if there was any change in the frail hobbit's state. When Silael reached out to check Frodo's pulse, Sam's eyes flickered open.
"Huh? Wha-..." Sam sat up and blinked the sleep out of his eyes. When he saw Silael, he asked, "Has there been any change, Sir? I've not hurt Mr. Frodo by sleepin' up here, have I?" Silael smiled at the concern evident in the small hobbit's eyes.
"No, Samwise. It is good that you have remained close to your master. If he awoke it would comfort him a great deal to know that you were near." Sam smiled back in relief.
"Good...er...Mornin'" Sam had to check the window to see if the salutation was correct- "Mr. Strider, Mr. Legolas. You've slept well?" The words were platitudes and Sam knew it, but they were all his emotionally exhausted mind could come up with.
Aragorn sighed wearily. "I am afraid we have not once found our way to our beds this night. But Sam, something miraculous has occurred!" At that moment, Icicle poked her head in through the door. Sam's jaw nearly hit the floor.
"But that's - it can't be- she's dead- I saw her-" He stammered.
"Nay, Samwise." Legolas stemmed the flow of exclamations. "By the grace of the Valar, Lady Galadriel, and the courage of Master Haldir, Icicle has been returned from the halls of Mandos."
Sam slid off the bed and walked tentatively towards Icicle. She perked up her ears in recognition and whined again. Sam was wonderstruck as he patted her soft head fur. She was solid and real and alive. His poor confused mind was spinning with the implications of it.
"B-but how?" Sam asked, looking up at Aragorn.
The Ranger smiled and knelt down, joining Sam in stroking Icicle's ruff.
"Well, it just comes down to the incredible things that can happen when we forgive someone, Samwise..."
"Is it - well I mean - is it some kind of - of magic?" Sam stammered with an embarrassed glance up at Haldir. His Gaffer had always told him that "real magick" was stuff and nonsense that the likes of him shouldn't be a'meddling with, but secretly Sam had always believed in enchantments and spells and so forth.
Haldir smiled back, something he was becoming much more accustomed to doing. "The Valar intervened Master Samwise. It was obviously not her time to leave this world and so they returned her to us and most especially to young Master Peregrin."
"Well I can see that would be a good thing." Sam agreed. "Does Mr. Pippin know yet?"
"No, not yet." Aragorn straightened up from petting Icicle. "He and Merry are sleeping, but perhaps we, or rather Haldir, should take her to them without further delay. The warg mother grows anxious herself to see Pippin."
"Will you come?" Haldir asked the others. He was still not entirely comfortable in the company of the hobbits - he found them in many ways childlike and yet profoundly wise in their simplicity.
Legolas and Boromir accompanied him, whilst Aragorn stayed to see how Frodo was faring and Gimli went in search of sustenance for Icicle.
Both the cousins were still sleeping when they entered the room, Merry protectively wrapping his arm around Pippin's body while he in turn snuggled into his cousin's side.
"Should I wake them?" Haldir asked Legolas and Boromir, "they seem so peaceful."
Before either the man or the elf could respond, Icicle settled the matter by jumping up on the bed to nuzzle and lick Pippin, as she whined a little in delight at finding her cub again. Merry awoke at once although Pippin, thoroughly exhausted by his earlier nightmare and tears slept on. He snuffled a little in his sleep and threw his arm unconsciously around Umumum as if she had never been gone.
Merry sat up, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped down. "W-what. I don't understand. how is Icicle here?"
"A request was made on behalf of the little one to the Valar," Haldir explained, "and in Their Wisdom and Grace it was granted - Icicle has been returned."
"B-but it doesn't seem possible." Merry reached out a hand to touch the warm fur and drew back quickly as if it were hot. "She lives, but she was dead."
"Haldir offered a great sacrifice to." Boromir began.
"Peace, my friend," Haldir held up his hand. "Suffice it to say Meriadoc that the Valar have long guided the path of the mother warg. I know now that it was no accident that she was there to succour the little one in his hour of need. It is, I believe, Their will that she continue to care for and protect him."
"Did. did you ask Them. I mean the Valar. did you a-ask Them to do this?" Merry stammered in awe. "You must be a truly important and special elf to speak with the Valar, Haldir."
"Not I Master Merry," Haldir smiled at the halflings reverence to him. "I think rather it is your young cousin that has Their ear."
Pippin smiled in his sleep as Umumum continued to lick him and eventually he opened his eyes and blearily peeped around him. At first he shut his lids again, mumbling contentedly in the warg's ear, "Umumum that tickles." Then his hand suddenly groped at the white fur and his eyes shot open wider than wide and he gave a small squeal of delight and astonishment. "Umumum! Umumum! Merry how? What happened?"
Merry held his hand and steadied Pip by his shoulder. He could feel the excitement, mingled with fear and wonder coursing through Pippin's body and in his face he could see utter confusion. Merry felt much the same way himself. "It's all right Pip, really it is. Umumum's been sent back to you, because, because. well Haldir says it's because you're really special and important to the Valar."
Pippin looked at the two elves and Boromir and then back at Merry in bewilderment and whispered, "what does he mean Merry? I'm not special or important, I'm just Pippin, aren't I?"
Haldir had heard the sotto voce question, " Little one," he said softly, bending down to be level with Pippin, "you are very special and the Valar have given back the life of your beloved warg for that reason."
"I don't understand what you mean." Pippin's brow furrowed in dismay, he turned to his cousin and whispered. "What do I have to do, Merry? I don't think I could be brave like Frodo or clever like you or do any of the things Sam does, how do I have to be special?"
Merry shook his head and shrugged a little. "I'm not sure Pip, don't worry perhaps Mister Haldir can explain what you have to do. Perhaps I can help you, whatever it is."
Legolas and Boromir exchanged glances and smiled a little. They both tacitly decided that Haldir was on his own. The tall elf turned to them with a pleading look and both the Prince of Mirkwood and the Son of Gondor shook their heads and retreated a little, but not so far they could not eavesdrop.
"Peregrin - Pippin, you don't have to do anything." Haldir began. "Just get well again and carry on being you. The Valar say that you are special and that - well for that reason They sent Icicle - Umum to you to take care of you when - when the orcs had you. They could not stop what was happening, but They wanted you to survive and sent what little comfort They could in the form of the nestraden naneth - that's Umum - and that's why she cared for you. When I shot her it was too great an ill for you to bear and too dire an end for her to meet. The Valar wanted you to have her back. Do you understand?"
Pippin looked at Haldir and blinked a little. "If I don't understand can Umumum still stay? Do I have to understand for her to be alive?"
"No," Haldir sighed a little realising that he may have to be content with the hobbits not really comprehending but accepting it anyway. "You don't need to do anything, Pippin. She is alive and can stay with you."
"Really? She is really back? It's not a dream?" Pippin hugged the warg around her big ruff of a neck and snuggled his face into her fur.
"Yes, Pippin," Haldir confirmed. "It's not a dream and she can stay and you are, I promise you, very, very special."
Pippin sighed contentedly as he lay carefully down curling into Umumum's warm body with Merry beside him also wrapped around the warg and him. He had so many good things now. Merry loved him, Umumum was alive and apparently he was special - whatever that meant.
***
TBC...