Author's Note: I am so so so so so sorry about the wait! I swear that all the teachers have a meeting about five times a year and go "I think we should all set out a huge project right now that we have to tell the students to devote all of their time to, then watch them sweat as they try to get every one done." I have a research paper for Composition, a stack of paperwork for Advanced Biology, a thesis paper for History, this little book thingamajig for Spanish, and a huge assignment every day in Advanced Algebra so I don't even stand a chance of using my study hall time to work on everything. I am so close to smashing my head against a wall right now. :( Anyway, that kind of means my updates will take a while, at least until all the projects are done. At least I'm almost done with Spanish, I'm happy about that.

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing.

Family Relations

By Be Boring

Chapter 9: Nineteen Going on Ninety

By the time that Jondy and Zack met together at Brin's house, she had decided to just forget about what Shayna was trying to do. She wasn't in contact with anyone else, so what could she do? The only thing that really stumped her was what to do about the baby. Lydecker was going to want that child if he ever got wind of it, and Shayna could do a good job of describing Zack and Kiera, both of whom Lydecker wouldn't be able to identify right now if he ran into them in the street, plus she could talk about Jondy's new hairstyle. She'd seen the change, she knew Lydecker would need to know about it as well. I guess I just have to wonder if Shayna is crazy enough to try and get in touch with Manticore. Would she be willing to go back to get revenge? Kiera had also mentioned the possibility that Shayna would talk to Lydecker over the phone and give them up, but kill herself before Manticore could reach her house to take her back.

"I know she doesn't want to go back any more than we do, even if she can't cope with the outside world. I'm also not quite sure how much she cares about the life of her baby. Maybe she'll see suicide as a way of saving her child as well, and then we really won't stand a chance. I guess for a while there's nothing we can do, at least until Shayna makes a move. She won't be able to convince the others of anything because I'm sure you'll be the first person they will call, and you'll be able to set them straight. We all know she only has one option open to her, so I guess we'll have to see if she takes it or gives up the idea of revenge. Zack will know if something is coming, I think he has an inside source, so we should be okay. We might have to change our looks a little bit, but we'll make it."

After such a grim visit with one sister, it was a relief to reach Brin's house and relax for a while. It really surprised her that Brin was such a party animal. She hadn't seemed much like one during their last visit, but apparently she toned it down whenever Zack was around because it made him uncomfortable. As it was, New Orleans had more than enough clubs to keep the girls busy, not to mention the fact that Brin set Jondy up on about fifty blind dates. There were a few guys that she really liked, but soon figured out at some point through the conversation that they were only being nice because they thought they were going to get laid. At least they weren't forceful; as soon as she blew them off they left in defeat without giving her too much trouble. Then there were others that made her wonder what Brin was thinking. It was like eating anchovies dipped in strawberry jam, she had a very strange taste in the back of her mouth by the end of the date. Still, she could have laughed at what Zack would have done if he had seen some of the guys that Brin had set her up with. One of the guys was dressed up so punk that he only had to sneeze and his jingling would make the entire restaurant freeze and look around to see what the noise was. Then one of his chains became hooked on the chair as he was about to leave, so he dragged it halfway towards the door before she managed to get him to stop and detach it.

"I know he's a little weird, but isn't he kind of cute too?" Brin would ask sweetly after the especially horrible dates. Jondy would just roll her eyes and flop out on the couch, wishing that for just one day she could sweep the earth clean of men and have a stress-free day. She couldn't have been happier to see Zack, because it meant the onslaught of strange males would be over. At least she was used to Zack.

The day after he arrived, however, Jondy stepped out of the shower to overhear a not-so-happy Zack yelling at Brin. "Why were you sending her out on dates with the idiots I know you hang around with? How do you know that none of them would drug her?"

"None of those guys are like that, otherwise I wouldn't have set her up with them! Sure, they don't look like society's greatest creations, but they're really nice guys. Besides, Jondy is a big girl and no pervert would ever be able to get the best of her. You didn't go so crazy when I dated them, why are you upset about her?"

"Brin, you're two years older than she is, and don't take this the wrong way but you've had a lot more experience in dating than she has. You know all the signs to look for so you know how safe the situation is."

"Exactly, which is why you should trust my judgment about who to set her up with. Even if those guys weren't particularly good matches for her, I knew for sure that they weren't dangerous. She's been on several dates already, and has she been hurt yet? No, she hasn't. In fact, I'm sure she'll be laughing about some of those dates with everyone else when you're not looking."

Jondy decided it was time to step in before Zack's temper got worse. She quickly wrapped a towel around herself and stepped out of the bathroom, noticing that Zack's face was a deeper scarlet than she'd ever seen it before. "Hey guys, what's going on out here?"

Zack scowled and ran a hand through his hair as he turned his back to her, obviously not willing to confront her about the dates. Brin looked like she thought everything was quite amusing, so she replied, "Nothing, Zack was just giving me another famous lecture about us girls having some exposure." Her eyes lit mischievously, and at this Zack turned on his heel to stare at her with wide eyes.

"Excuse me?"

Jondy laughed and shook her head. "Come on, Zack, you're just letting her antagonize you. Why don't you go outside for a minute and I'll come talk to you once I'm dressed?" He nodded reluctantly and passed through the doorway, giving Brin a chance to completely crack up laughing. Jondy rolled her eyes and started pulling on some clothes from her bag.

"You are so immature sometimes, you know that? It's like you want him to think that I've had a shitload of one-night stands. I'll never hear the end of it."

"You've got to admit it was funny though, right? Did you see the look on his face? It's so weird, he's really protective of you, and I mean more than the way he usually is. Maybe…never mind."

"What? Maybe what?"

Brin glanced towards the door nervously, then continued hesitantly. "I don't know if anybody else agrees, but I always thought that you looked a little like Eva. Well, let me rephrase that. It's not that you really look like her, but every little thing you do is kind of reminiscent of her. You picked up a lot of mannerisms from her, even more now that you've grown up. We all know it wasn't his fault, but I think he's always felt a little responsible for Eva's death. After watching you for a while, it's almost like she's back. You have the same effect on the people around you as she did, you make us feel good. Zack was the big protector, but Eva made the decisions and she made us feel happy. It's really weird how much you've become like her."

"So you think Zack is more protective of me because he doesn't want me to end up like Eva?"

"It's possible. Even if I doubt that Lydecker will be putting a bullet in your heart anytime soon, he's still worried about something happening to you. Bad things always seem to happen to good people."

"It doesn't mean that something will happen to me. The protection doesn't bother me though, it makes me feel safe. God help the person who tries to come between Zack and something he wants kept safe." She finished pulling on her shirt and headed for the hall, where Zack was impatiently pacing back and forth with his fists stuffed into his pockets.

He stopped pacing right in front of her and looked down at her. "Brin's little crack at exposure was just a joke, right?"

She chuckled and nodded. "Relax, I'm as innocent as I was when they brought me into the Manticore nursery."

At least that made him loosen up and smile. "Jondy, I've never considered you to be innocent."

~~~~~

Jondy had always wondered about what Zack did in his spare time when he wasn't checking up on the others. Actually, she hadn't even been sure he had any, taking care of a group of rowdy X5s was no small task, but apparently he did have a place of his own. It was a small cabin in Maine that could be used all year round by an X5 because of their tolerance for cold weather. With a steady fire going, it was pretty cozy. Jondy took it upon herself to grab some spare rags and stuff them into any openings she found in the walls to block the draft she could feel at almost all times, even when she was sitting right by the fire.

"How long have you had this place?" she asked later that night, as they sat as close to the fireplace as possible without being right in it.

"About three years. As soon as I saw it, I loved it. There's no one around for miles except for summer when people decide to go camping, and there's no phone lines out here but the cell phone reception is great, so I'm never cut off completely. It's just a great place to relax until someone needs me. You didn't think I spent every day looking after at least one of our siblings, did you?"

She grinned. "I was starting to wonder if you had a life, but apparently you do. What do you do here, make s'mores and hot dogs all day?"

"Are you kidding? The scenery in this area is beautiful, every now and then I'll just take a few-hour-long walk, and there's this little pond a few miles back that I'm not sure anyone knows about which is great to swim in during the summer. To be honest, I also do a lot of sleeping. When I was running around alone, I didn't always have a chance to get much more than a few hours of sleep a week. It's nice that there's some instances where I can send you alone while I handle something else." Brin's theory about Eva sparked at the back of Jondy's mind. Should I even ask him about it? Subtlety isn't my strong point.

"Zack, was there any reason other than the ones you've already told me that you wanted me for your SIC? Back when you first offered it to me, when you'd just had that seizure and I wasn't sure you were thinking clearly, you commented about how you wished Eva was here. Did she have anything to do with your decision?"

His eyes flashed over her face and then dropped down to the floor. "Yeah, actually, she had a lot to do with my decision. I know I don't usually believe in anything like fate or destiny, but this time I think that you were meant to be here. You don't understand, everybody assumed that the escape was spontaneous, but Eva and I had planned it out several weeks beforehand. We pretty much knew who would come and who wouldn't, so we paired the willing ones off on our own so it would be faster when the time actually came. Everything was fucked up though the night that Max saw Jack in his autopsy. It scared Eva and I into acting out our plans early, and we all know how that turned out. Lydecker shot her, and to me it felt like everything just spiraled out of control from there. It was pure luck that any of you made it out."

"If you already had us paired off, then who were you paired with? We all know it's too dangerous to put both leaders in one pair, so you must have split up, but you were the only one without a partner that night. Why was that?"

He pulled his blanket closer to his body and stared into the fire. "I made some last minute changes to the plans after Eva was shot. Originally, I was supposed to be with Max, and you were matched with Eva, but I couldn't leave you alone and it just wasn't safe to have a group of three, so I switched places with you. I'm sorry you ended up alone anyway, but none of us could have known that Max would fall through the ice. I heard you call her name, so I knew that something bad had happened, but after I was tasered and taken back to Manticore I didn't hear anything about her being brought in, so I assumed that either she had still made it out or they hadn't found her body yet. I'm just glad most of you are okay."

This was all new information to Jondy, but what stood out the most was that he had been taken back to Manticore. She hadn't known that, the rest of them had already been far ahead when it happened. "I don't understand, how did you get out again? How did you get away before they reprogrammed you?"

Apparently he hadn't expected to have to answer that, because he looked startled at the question. "Are you sure you aren't tired or something? It's getting kind of late."

She glared at him suspiciously. "You know I don't need nearly as much sleep as you do, so spit it out. You know you can trust me, right?"

Why was he looking at her so strangely? It was like he was seeing her for the first time. "You know, nobody's ever asked me that. I remember you asked me once why I thought I could trust you, but you've never actually asked me to do it. I guess I know I can trust you, especially since if I can't trust you, who can I?" She wanted to comment on all of this so badly, but she sensed that he didn't expect her to do it and was going to answer her earlier question, so she remained silent. "I just want to make sure you'll still want to work with me after you hear it, though. You won't change your mind, will you?"

"Of course not, nothing could make me give up my command. Just tell me before you lose your nerve."

"Okay, but try to remember that I was just a kid, and I've never forgiven myself ever since. I know everyone assumed that Lydecker aimed to kill, but he didn't. It was just like how Krit was shot the other week; the gunshot was very near Eva's heart but didn't actually touch it. I saw them giving her blood transfusions to make up for the blood loss when they took me to the infirmary. They planned to keep me sedated until they could bring me under control, but they were having so much trouble with the other kids they'd brought back that they just forgot about me. I kept as quiet as possible, and eventually the room was empty except for Eva and I, with several guards outside blocking all the exits. When she was conscious again, we immediately started coming up with plans to get out to reach the rest of you. It was scary, knowing that there were several of you out there without anyone in command. I know now that sounds funny, but back then everyone was so used to taking orders that we weren't sure what would happen when you weren't receiving them anymore.

"I think we got a little ahead of ourselves because of how urgent we felt it was to get out, but I guess I can't change anything now. Anyway, we had knocked out most of the guards and had made it to the perimeter fence when Eva's body just gave out. She told me to go ahead and she'd catch up as soon as she had caught her breath again. I don't know if I just assumed that she would always be all right, but I did what she told me and I jumped the fence. I only went about a quarter of a mile before I heard a gunshot, so I stopped and waited. I stayed there for at least three hours, hoping that she had been shot at while running away but they'd missed her. Every time I heard a twig snap, I thought it was her. When I finally decided it was taking too long, I went back to see what was keeping her away. I don't think it ever crossed my mind that they'd succeeded in killing her, but I overheard some of the soldiers patrolling the perimeter fence talking about it. They commented that at least the leader of the escape had been shot before she could get out, so I think she was on her way over the fence or was already running away when they shot her. I don't even remember hitching a ride to Cheyenne, I just remember the fear I felt the next morning when I realized that I was in the outside world without Eva."

Jondy hadn't even realized that tears were slipping down over her cheeks, but when he broke off she unconsciously reached up and wiped them off her face. "Zack, it wasn't your fault. She was the C.O., you had to listen to her when she told you to go ahead."

He stared blankly at her, reminding her horribly of the day that he'd cut Ben off. "How can you say that? I didn't have to listen to her blindly. I should have seen that it was too dangerous for us to split up with her in the condition she was in. She had just lost so much blood, she didn't stand a chance without me there to help her. If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't be gone right now. I'm the one who cheated all of you out of your real C.O. and I can't believe you don't look more angry."

"I'm not going to blame you. Remember all those conversations we had about change? You told me that I've become much more adjusted to free will now that I'm free, and the same thing applies to you. Now you look back and say 'I should have done that differently' but the truth was that you were only a kid following instructions like you'd been taught to do. If Eva had told you to walk over a cliff, you'd have probably done it. I know she wouldn't be angry with you, she wouldn't have given you an order like that if she thought you wouldn't follow it. She wanted you to go ahead because she knew that even though it was dangerous for her if you split up, it would have been even more dangerous for you if you had stayed together. I think she wanted to make sure that at least one of you made it out, and she didn't think there was a chance if you didn't go your separate ways. Zack, you can't blame yourself for any of it, I just wish you had told me sooner and didn't torture yourself for all these years. Does anyone else even have a clue?"

He shook his head, refusing to look at her now. "No, I never even hinted about it to anyone else. Jesus Christ, if some of them are this unmanageable now, how do you think it would be if they knew I was the reason Eva was dead? Ben had looked up to her so much, he might have even killed himself by now. I'm actually surprised he hasn't already. This place is just too much stress for him. I think it's a lot for everyone to deal with. I mean, if even Kiera could snap and turn back into some bloodthirsty predator for a day or two, then what does that say for the rest of us? I really couldn't believe it when I found Kiera helping Ben kill. If he could convince her of all people to do it, I didn't see what was stopping him from eventually getting everyone else wrapped up in his mess. If it had been anyone else, I might have been able to let it go, but Kiera is like our rock. Before you, I'd call her for anything I needed that wasn't related to preventing exposure; from our own biological mess to anything regarding feelings. If it wasn't for the fact that she's so much of a loner most of the time, she probably would have been my SIC this entire time. I'm still glad it ended up being you, though."

Jondy blushed, but slid closer and wrapped her arms around him. Much to her surprise, he returned the gesture, squeezing her against him so tightly that she thought her ribs might crack. "I'm so sorry about Eva, Zack. I hope you can somehow put it behind you now."

His fingers entwined in her hair, and she knew that he was mentally shaking his head. "I'm not sure I can do that, but I'm glad you don't blame me."

She sat back again and returned her eyes to the fire. They sat in a comfortable silence for at least an hour before heading to bed. Jondy's bed was so big and fluffy that she wished he would just let her stay here forever. It was so strange to see the darker yet softer side of Zack. Knowing what he had been torturing himself with for so many years seemed to allow her to see straight into his head. Once again she was struck with how young he still was. Nineteen was much too young to have all this responsibility on his shoulders, but he had taken it out of guilt and had suffered through it without complaining to anyone. The poor guy is nineteen going on ninety. I just hope he doesn't burn out too quickly, because I can't do this on my own. She really hoped that day would never come.

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Author's Note 2: Please review!