The four of them trumped down the many staircases until they reached the fireplace. Ron stared in confusion at his two older… brothers? Katie and Sarah were fighting in whispers the whole way down.

"This is your fault, you stupid wench!" Sarah hissed at Katie.

"Shut up, you wished just as hard as I did." Katie retaliated.

"Hah," Sarah looked down, nearly tripping over an old robe cast aside haphazardly by Percy before he ran off. "This must be our stupidest wish yet."

"Hopefully our last," Katie agreed agreeably.

Ron stared at the two of them, gathered his courage and yelped: "The joke's not funny anymore!"

"Joke, eh?" Sarah turned to Katie and winked.

"What are you winking about?" Katie asked dully.

"I don't know. But I had the urge."

"Herbal Essences urge?" Katie asked.

"Sure," Sarah said. Both girls grinned and began to make orgasm noises. Ron was frightened.

"How about a kissy wissy Ron?" Katie puckered her lips… rather… his lips at the tall redhead.

"Urgh!" He backed away, nearly flipping over a railing.

"So Ron, when are you going to kiss Hermione?" Sarah asked, hands on hips.

"A girl can only wait so long," Katie agreed. "She might wish herself into some dreadful place if you take too long."

"Trust us, we know," Sarah said, feeling slightly nauseous.

Ron was beet red and blubbering like a fool.

Ginny looked back at them from the bottom of the staircase.

"Are you coming or are you trying to rape my brother?"

"Which one?" Katie asked laughing.

"That's not funny, you pervert," Sarah said, trying to be serious.

They grinned manically and, simultaneously reached for Ron, smooching him on the cheeks.

"Damn!" Sarah looked at his glowing crimson face. "I forgot we don't wear lippy!"

"Aw, no marks."

"Ginny! Do you have any lippy?" Sarah called down.

"AH!" Ron ran down the stairs at full speed.

"Hahahhahahahahahhahahahaha!" The girls laughed like psychos on morphine.

Ginny caught her brother as he nearly pitched forward onto his face.

"Stop terrorizing my brother," she said halfheartedly. "Come on now, we have things to do."

"Things to see?" Sarah glanced down at her own male-parts.

"Things to feel?" Katie cackled.

"Um… I don't want to know," Ginny shook her head, tugging her brother along.

Moments later, the four of them gathered in front of the roaring fireplace. Ginny cast in the sparkling emerald floo powder and the fire took on the same color.

"Ooh, lovely," Katie and Sarah chimed.

Ron looked frightened and stepped in first, stammering out: "Number twelve Grimmauld Place!" And then disappearing.

"All right, you two go before me." Ginny ushered them to the fireplace.

"Nah, we'll be all right," Katie shook her head, "we've read the books about five thousand times. We know everything," Katie winked suggestively at Ginny, who turned a dark shade of scarlet.

"Hehehehe," Sarah agreed.

"Erm… I'll go first then, shall I?" Ginny practically ran into the flames, shouting "NUMBER TWELVE GRIMMAULD PLACE!" She sounded rather hysterical.

"Shall we have a looksie?" Katie turned around to scrutinize the pigpen of a house.

"Nah, we have places to go," Sarah stepped into the fireplace. "Things to see,"

"People to terrorize," Katie added for good measure.

"Bien sûr," Sarah nodded sagely. "DIAGON ALLEY!" She roared.

"Ooh, you naughty little pumpernickel." Katie clucked her tongue as the fire flared high and resettled without a Sarah. "My turn," she grinned excitedly. The emerald flames invited her in and she stepped inside into the invitingness of the inviting emerald flames. "DIAGON splutter ALLEY!" Inwardly, she wondered if she'd survive the night. Ash went up her nostrils and she had the burning sensation that ash causes when it goes up one's nostril. Round and round she went before falling face first on top of a load of George. "Oh yay," she sighed.

"Oh yay," Sarah agreed.

"Oh dear," Katie cried.

"Get off," Sarah said benignly, shoving Katie off rather forcefully. "Ooh! Look at my biceps!" Sarah said rather excitedly.

"I think I have a six pack!" Katie squealed.

"Oh Fred my sexy prince!" Sarah sighed. By then they had attracted a small crowd of curious onlookers, all muttering in British. They took no notice and embraced one another, complimenting the other's astounding beauty. Just then a dumpy redhead walked by, carting a load of books.

"FRED! GEORGE!" She screamed. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Erm… who's she?" Katie whispered to Sarah.

"No bloody idea," Sarah whispered back.

"Okay then," Katie drew up. "WENCH! WHO ARE YOU?!"

"That's not funny!" The woman cried back. "I AM YOUR MOTHER, GEORGE!" She paused to add, "I think."

"I'm FRED!" Katie yelled back.

"Oh whatever." She reached over and grabbed Katie and Sarah by the ears, dragging them off yelling all the while, "MAKING a SCENE in a PUBLIC place! How COULD you be so STUPID!??" Making a scene herself that was much more spectacular than their own seeming twincestual scene.

"Wonderful," Sarah muttered, "we've just ruined Fred and George's reputation in front of all these people."

"We could blame the Fancying Fudge for that, to help business a bit," Katie shrugged.

"It's a thought,"

"HOW can you THINK of your STUPID JOKE SHOP at a TIME like THIS?!"

"Easily," Katie said quickly, feeling Fred's wit outdo her own.

"Yes," Sarah chuckled.

"Ooh! You two! First year you had so many detentions…" she began to ramble through their sexy history, ending with, "and then running away!" She trailed off and embraced them. "I'm proud of you two despite your…."

"Smashing good looks?" Sarah said stupidly.

"Um… oh, just give me a hug." She squashed them.

"OOF!" They grunted in unison.

"Mum…" Katie moaned. "Please get off,"

"Well, we were worried when you two apparated in the middle of the joke shop. Nobody knew where you'd gone!"

"Oh! Yes… we… er… uh…." Katie stumbled.

"We met beautiful, lovely girls!" Sarah blurted out.

"Yes! That's it!" Katie agreed quickly.

"Oh!" Mrs. Weasley seemed thrilled momentarily, "wait, WHAT?!" She began to dither. "We must get back to Gr- home. Your father needs to have that… special… talk…."

"Oh poo," Katie muttered. "I hate this talk,"

"Moi aussi," Sarah said. She shut her mouth, and thought for a moment. She made it look hard. "Ka…er Fred…." She asked. "What do you think Sarah's doing right now?"

"Why?"

"Cause she forgot to shave her legs,"

"Hehe, I… rather… she Nair-ed hers just last night." Katie grinned in triumph.

"I hope she neglected her armpits," Sarah hissed angrily.

"Oh poo," Katie said again, just trying to appease Sarah. They were smoothy smooth except for the dreaded right armpit, in which hair grew in many strange directions.

(A/N: Coming soon: Fred and George's point of view! The REAL ones!)