Harry Potter and the Throbbing Muscle of Love
By Katharine Reid
It was the hottest day of the summer, July 22nd. But Harry Potter wasn't spending his day in a pool with the other kids his age. He wasn't even sitting outside on the porch with his aunt, uncle, and cousin Dudley, laughing about something Dudley did at school and sipping lemonade.
No, Harry was up in his room, by himself.
He liked looking at it. It interested him beyond anything he'd ever seen. He loved how it pulsated, throbbed. He loved the way it moved.
Harry was so busy with it, he didn't even realize the owl land on his windowsill, with a letter in its claws. It squawked to get his attention.
Harry, startled, dropped everything to greet it.
"Oh, sorry, didn't see you there," he apologized, and quickly took the letter.
It was his annual letter from Hogwarts, telling him what to expect, what supplies he needed, and the changes from the previous year. Harry was so busy with his new hobby that he forgot all about Hogwarts and wizards, and that in a few weeks, he'd be with his friends Ron and Hermione studying potions and magic spells.
The owl, however, waited on the windowsill for Harry. It was customary to tip the delivery owl with a drink, maybe a few bites of food after its journey. After reading his letter, Harry opened the magazine he was looking at, pulled out his muscle of love, and completely ignored the bird.
The day finally came, and Harry waited on the platform 10 at the London train station. Ron told Harry in a letter to wait for him so they could go through 9¾ together. Ron finally showed with the rest of his wild and redheaded family, toting trunks, bags, and Ginny's new owl..
"Ron!" Harry greeted him.
"Hey, Harry, how's your summer been?" Ron asked.
"I found a new, uh...hobby to keep myself entertained."
"Well, that's great. Maybe you can tell me about it on the train."
"Ron, Harry, you better get through the barrier or you're going to miss the train!" Mrs. Weasley called out to them. Harry and Ron grabbed their trolleys and followed Ginny though the platform 9¾ to the awaiting train.
After greeting their friends at Hogwarts and meeting the new students, Harry, Ron, and Hermione headed off to the dormitories with the others of their houses.
"Psst, Ron, Hermione, I have something you have to see." Harry whispered as the other students walked by.
"Harry, you know girls aren't allowed in the boys' dormitory after dark," Hermione stated. She had grown up since the last time Harry saw her. She filled out her school uniform, lost most of the unruly kinkyness in her hair, and looked really good in her skirt, which was beginning to get a bit short. Harry's muscle of love gave an aching throb.
"Only for a minute, Hermione. I don't think the teachers are going to care if you're in our dorm for a minute." Harry explained.
"If it's only for a minute," Hermione agreed. She was intrigued by Harry's interest to share. Harry ushered them quickly up to his room.
"Look at this," Harry said as he pulled it out. Ron and Hermione really didn't know what to expect. Ron gave an expression of staring disinterest, while Hermione's was of pure disgust.
"Well?" Harry asked, even though his friend's faces gave away what they were thinking.
"Uh...." Ron seemed to lack words. "Whatever makes you happy."
"That's gross, Harry! Put it away!" Hermione turned away and disgust. "I better get back to the girl's dorm." She said and left, with her face still stuck in an expression of horror.
"But look Ron, look," Harry quickly grabbed his magazine from his bag and shoved it towards him. Ron had no choice but to take the open periodical.
"I think I've found my calling, Ron." Harry said, and showed him the muscle for emphasis.
"Calling? That's not a calling, that's disgusting, Harry." Ron said. However, he still flipped through the magazine seeming not to look at the pictures.
"It's not disgusting, Ron. It's beautiful." Ron shook his head. "The way it pulsates and throbs. You can feel it right now, can't you?"
"Uh...." He trailed off. His own muscle pulsed involuntarily.
"Everything has it, Ron, even fish. You can't say it's not amazing."
"But Harry, that's a ---" Ron started, but Harry interrupted him.
"Forget wizardry and Hogwarts and everything. This is what I want to do." He again used the muscle for the point.
"I want to become a cardiologist."