Disclaimer: The usual stuff applies here. Sorry it has taken so long to
get this chapter out. The semester has been hellish and is now finally
over. I now have time. Thanks to everyone out there.
A New Beginning
Chapter 9 Quickly Approaching Destruction
Harry felt bad. It was not an ill feeling but a bad feeling in general. Harry was keeping a secret from his two best friends and he felt bad about that. He also felt bad because the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams were no longer able to play for the remainder of the school year. This made Harry's stomach turn. This was the second time in two years that he couldn't play Quidditch. This was Slytherin's and Gryffindor's punishment for the brawl that took place just a matter of a few days ago. The Quidditch cup was up for grabs between either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. Of course these two houses were excited because for the first time in a long time someone other than Slytherin or Gryffindor would win the Quidditch cup.
The mood around school was slightly unpleasant. It could be seen in all the students plus the Professors. Harry even noticed that Professor Dumbledore wasn't his usual happy self. The unpleasantness reigned over any happiness that was in the school. The weather even seemed to match the mood of the school. Ever since the game the weather has been overcast, windy, extremely cold and of course rain mixed with snow and sleet. Even with Christmas approaching the bad mood of the school didn't seem like it wanted to be lifted.
*^*^*
Severus was cooped up in his office all morning and all afternoon one Saturday in early December. He felt awkward. He just didn't know how to put it into words at all. For once Severus couldn't explain the feeling he had deep down in his gut. He decided to skip dinner he wasn't hungry actually he hadn't felt like eating for days. He tried a few times to eat a little something but every time he did it wouldn't stay down for long. Besides not be able to eat he was starting to get terrible headaches. Severus usually got these kinds of headaches when he was under horrendous amounts of stress.
So instead of going to dinner Severus decided to walk around the school. There was no place in particular that he wanted to go he just thought that maybe the coolness of the castle and the fresh air, well any air outside the potions lab was fresh, would help ease his headache.
Seveurs came upon the library and decided to go in. He liked the smell of the old books and being able to walk the long isles seemed like a nice idea. Severus hated to go to the library when there were students there. He could feel their stares and hear the whispered voices. He like the fact that invoked fear in most students but he also enjoyed private time that wasn't plagued by student's glares and snide remarks behind his back.
Severus walked the long isles and let his hands run over the spines of the books as he enjoyed the peace and quiet of the library. He made his way to the back of the library where the large old windows were located. He walked out between two isles and realized he was not alone like he thought he was. By the farthest window stood a semi-dark figure. Severus knew who it was by the way that they happened to be staring out the window in to the oncoming darkness. It was the same stare they used when looking deep into a fire.
Severus walked over and stood next to the shadowy figure.
"Good evening Iris." Severus said looking out the window.
"Good evening Sev." Iris said with a tired sigh as she continued to stare out the window at nothing.
Severus and Iris just stood side by side looking out the window for quite sometime. Severus then reached over and took Iris's small hand in his and held it. Iris looked down at her hand and then up at Severus who continued to stare out the window. Iris gently removed her hand from Severus's hand. He never looked over at her but she studied his face and she could see there was disappointment in his eyes.
"Is there something I can do for you Sev?" Iris asked still looking at him.
"No." Severus sighed deeply. "Just decided to take a walk instead of going to dinner and wound up here and came across you." He said.
"Oh." Iris slightly annoyed by Severus's presence.
"It's awfully dark out there for this time of the evening." Severus said making small talk.
Iris stared with a blank expression across her face. With a voice not her own she answered Severus's question. "Darkness ever encroaching. Darkness ever destroying." With that said she turned and walked away from Severus.
"What?" Severus asked as Iris headed back towards the dark isles of the library.
"Nothing." Iris plainly said without looking back.
"Iris." Severus called out as he followed her back into the darkness of the library.
"Yes." Iris said stopping but not turning back to face Severus who stood a few feet behind her.
Iris and Severus just stood there both in silence. Iris stood there waiting for Severus to continue but he never did. Iris not wanting to wait anymore left Severus by himself in the back of library and she returned to the dark and cold hallways.
Severus knew what he wanted to ask Iris but he couldn't find his voice to do so. He just stood there and watched her leave him once again. Severus headed back towards the windows and placed his forehead against the ice cold window hoping his headache would go away as waves of nausea passed over him.
*^*^*
Dinner in the Great Hall was pretty quiet. Just low mummers could be heard through out. Ron, Harry and Hermione sat there eating very little and talking even less. Harry kept glancing up at the head table. A few times he caught Dumbledore's eye and he would give Harry a weak smile.
"I wonder where Professor Hecate and Professor Snape are?" Hermione asked as she noticed Harry look up at the head table for the hundredth time.
"Haven't seem much of Professor Hecate at all really." Ron said. "She hasn't been to class in what seems like ages." Ron said pushing his plate to the side with much of his food still on it. "But it has been nice being taught again by Professor Lupin." Ron added.
Hermione nodded in agreement with Ron. Harry just sat quietly and he continued to look up at the head table.
Hermione played with her food. "Also, we haven't seen her since the fight."
"That is right Hermione. I wonder what is with Professor Hecate?" Ron asked.
"I've been wondering that myself. Maybe Dumbledore asked her to step down from teaching the remainder of the year because look at what she has taught us up until a few weeks ago. None of the material was in any of the books let alone in the library." Hermione said with concern.
"Let me guess you've been researching once again Hermione." Ron said sarcastically.
Hermione just glared and Ron and continued. "This has to be things she has seen when she was working for the Ministry and face it some of it is closely related to Voldemort. I bet some of the students have complained to their parents who have most likely sent owls to the Ministry."
"And Dumbledore doesn't have the heart to tell her to leave." Ron said.
"True but most likely he is trying to get her cleared with the Ministry so she can continue teaching soon." Hermione said.
Herminone and Ron were busy with their conversation when they both realized that Harry hadn't removed his gaze from the head table at all.
"Harry why do you keep looking over at the head table?" Hermione asked turning her gaze back to the head table.
Harry sighed. "I need to tell you two something but it is going to have to wait till later tonight once everyone has gone to bed."
Ron and Hermione just looked at Harry confused. Neither of them decided not to ask him what it was about because they knew that it would be pointless. The three friends sat there in silence and ate a little bit more before heading back to the common room.
*^*^*
Ron, Harry and Hermione sat at a table furthest away from everyone else in the common room pretending to be doing schoolwork. The common room was fairly quiet. With everyone's spirits down most everyone decided to head up to bed early. It didn't take long for the common room to empty out. Once Harry knew it was safe he put down his book and looked at both Hermione and Ron.
Harry took a deep breath. "Where do I begin?" He asked out loud to himself.
"How about at the beginning Harry." Hermione said in a friendly and caring voice.
Harry smiled at her and began.
"What I have to tell you both may or may not come to a surprise." Harry started. "Let me get the most important thing out the way first. Professor Hecate is my cousin." Harry said looking down at his hands that were in his lap.
"She's your cousin?!" Ron asked in bewilderment.
"To be more exact she is my second cousin. She is my dad's first cousin." Harry added.
"I kind of figured that much." Hermione said. "The resemblance between the two of you was just to uncanny for her not be a relative of yours Harry." Hermione said in a calm voice.
"You could have filled me in on that little bit of information Hermione." Ron said sarcastically.
Hermione just glared at Ron. "Harry please continue."
"She is a member of the order." Harry said.
"Good she is fighting for our side!" Ron exclaimed. "Do you know what she is doing for the order?" Ron asked.
"She is a spy just like Professor Snape." Harry said bluntly.
"What?" Ron said with his mouth hanging open.
"If she is a spy that means she use to be." Hermione said trailing off.
"She use to be a Death Eater." Harry said finishing Hermione's sentence.
"WOW." Ron whispered. "That could be why you never found out about her let alone why you didn't go and live with her after your parents died?" Ron said still in shock.
"There are few reasons. One she is ashamed of her past and it was just safer for me to be the Dursleys." Harry said with no emotion at all.
"That can't be all of what you wanted to tell us right, Harry?" Hermione said looking at her friend.
Harry took a deep breath. "Professor Hecate may or may not be safe."
"What does that mean Harry?" Ron asked a little bit confused.
"Well.The Order is aware of Voldemort planning an attack on me and they don't know what side she is truly on." Harry said with nervous feelings rushing over him. "Neither Professor Dumbledore nor Professor McGonagall nor Professor Lupin would tell me much more other than that." Harry said.
"What!" Ron and Hermione both exclaimed.
"Professor Snape and Professor Hecate both have parts in Voldemort's plan but that is all I know. I don't know any of the details. I was just told to watch myself and that I would be watched at all times by people I know and people I don't." Harry added.
Ron and Hermione couldn't say anything at all. They just stared at him in shock with their mouths wide open.
"That's what I've been keeping from the two of you. I hope that you all aren't mad at me. I needed time to think and take everything in. It was difficult for me to find out that I have a relative that I can't get close to because there is the risk of her giving me to Voldemort." Harry said with a quiver in his voice.
Ron and Hermione were quiet. Ron kept opening his mouth and closing it like he had something to say but just didn't know how to say it.
Hermione reach over and put her hand on Harry's and looked at him. "Harry we understand why you didn't tell us but we are glad we know now because we can also look out for you." Hermione said smiling at her friend.
"Thanks Hermione." Harry said giving her a weak smile and feeling extremely over whelmed.
"Ron are you alright?" Harry asked looking at his friend.
"Yeah, I'm fine mate." Ron said finally able to speak.
"Good because I have one more thing to tell the two of you. I don't know how you are going to take it." Harry said pausing with a sly little smile.
"What?" Ron asked with curiosity.
"I found this quite funny and quite interesting at the same time." Harry started.
"What?" Ron asked again.
"Professor Snape and Professor Hecate dated while they were students here." Harry finally said.
Hermione gave a little giggle and Ron laughed out loud.
"Snape date. That I can't believe." Ron said laughing still.
"I think it's cute." Hermione said smiling ear to ear.
The three of them sat there talking and laughing about a girl actually liking and wanting to date Professor Snape. Hermione was defending Snape and Ron swore up and down that Harry's cousin was bonkers for dating him. Harry just sat there and laughed at his two friends argue about Professor Snape's love life. Finally Ron, Harry and Hermione went their separate ways and headed up to bed.
Ron and Harry entered their room quietly and got undressed. Harry climbed into bed and laid there with his thoughts running a mile a minute. He wished he could have fallen asleep instantly like Ron but he couldn't. His mind kept wondering to negative thoughts. Harry kept wondering if this was going to be the time that Voldemort finally got him. He wanted to get to know his cousin and ask her questions about his family but she isn't safe.
Harry just tossed and turned for hours. He couldn't get settled at all. He had this gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. He felt something terrible was going to happen to him. He was also curious about the fact that he hadn't had any visions or felt any of Voldemort's emotions lately. Harry wasn't practicing his Occlumency since that night he got in to Professor Snape's memories and saw him kiss his cousin. Harry went to bed at night sometimes hoping to get a feeling a slight glance of something Voldemort was doing so he could inform Dumbledore and help the Order out.
Harry wished he had a normal life not a normal muggle life but a normal wizard's life. He wished he had both his parents. He wanted to get to know his family on his dad's side. There were so many questions he still has about his family but no one is willing to answer them. The one person Harry could count on was Sirius but he was no longer around.
"Yet another family member of mine to fall victim to Voldemort." Harry thought bitterly to himself as he continued to toss and turn.
Harry knew that Voldemort wanted him bad enough to destroy his family. Harry had played with a certain thought for some time now. Harry wondered if Voldemort wanted him to have a bad life like he did. His mother died after he was born and his father gave him away. Harry wouldn't wish that on his worst enemy because no one should ever have to go through life without a family. Harry toyed with that thought for a while but was certain that it wasn't Voldemort's plan to torture him that way. Voldemort wanted Harry because of the powers that flowed through him. Harry was key to Voldemort's plan for him to fully return to the magnificent and evil power he once had sixteen years ago in the wizarding world.
Harry drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the night. The last thing Harry saw before heading off into another world was the back of his eyelids. Harry then felt himself slip in to darkness and arrive in a dark place were hushed voices could be heard.
*^*^*
Severus sat in his cold and barely lit office. He was sitting in front of his grand fireplace in a black velvet couch. Severus sat there with his head resting on the back of the couch. He sat there with his eyes closed shut wishing his headache away. He sat there motionless almost like he was sleeping but in reality he wasn't. He wasn't even aware of his surrounding or the fact that someone had entered his office and was standing in the shadows watching him intently.
Severus's late night visitor stood in the shadows. The light from the fireplace did not even reach the spot were the shadowy figure stood. The mysterious figure was just another fixture in Severus's office. The only sounds that could be heard in Severus's office was the soft crackling of the fire and the gentle breath escaping Severus's lips.
The visitor removed it's black cloak and quietly stepped out the shadows and made it's way to Severus who still had his eyes closed and resting his head on the back of his couch. The visitor draped the cloak on the couch and stood behind Severus's resting head. The shadowy figure never once made a noise to give its self away. Severus was still unaware that someone was standing behind him. He never made a noise or moved. His guard was completely down which made him vulnerable and he wasn't even aware of that fact.
The dark visitor stood behind the unaware Severus. He never once stirred but the visitor was aware that he picked up something different in his office. Still he never opened his eyes or lifted his head to check his office. He just continued to lie there breathing deeply and lost in his thoughts.
"Iris never leaves my thoughts." Severus thought to himself. "She gets to me so much lately. Right now I am imagining that I am smelling her perfume." Severus thought to himself as he sighed out loud. Severus took a deep breath of the lightly scented air around him.
"Strawberries." Severus mumbled quietly.
The shadowy figure was startled by the whispered word. A smile formed on the dark visitor by the sheer thought of the word that escaped Severus's mouth. Quietly the late night visitor lifted its hands and placed two fingers on each of his temples and gently applied pressure and moved them in a circular motion. A soft moan escaped Severus's lips. He kept his eyes closed. He stayed there and let the visitor continue to massage his temples.
Severus would have normally jumped at the slightest touch from a dark figure in his office but he didn't this time. He knew this touch very well. He loved this touch. He has dreamt of this touch nightly since the beginning of the year. Severus wanted to open his eyes and look at his late night visitor but he didn't because he was afraid that the moment he did they would disappear from his office and from him once again.
Severus reached his pale hand and gently touched the fingers massaging his left temple. His hand met the soft and warm skin of his visitor. He slowly removed the hand from his temple and wrapped his own hand around it. Still with his eyes closed he led his visitor around his couch so that they were now standing in front of him. Still clasping his visitor's hand in his he lifted his head and opened his eyes.
Severus first glanced at the small delicate hand in his large pale and bony hand. He then lead his gaze upward and met the face he had been hoping to see in his office for quite some time now. For the first time in a long time a smile crossed Severus's face.
"Hi Sev." Iris whispered smiling down at Severus as she squeezed his hand tightly.
Severus pulled Iris gently down on the couch next to him and took her in a warm and loving embrace. Iris and Severus sat there holding each other tightly. Severus laid his head on her small shoulder breathing her strawberry scent in. Iris reached her hand up and gently stroked his hair.
"I have dreamt of this for quite some time now." Severus thought to himself. "I thought she would never come back to me. Yes, she is back at Hogwart's but she was never back to me." Severus said to himself as he tightened his embrace around Iris. "It is all my fault. You chose the wrong path because of me. It is all my fault." Severus thought to himself.
"I never wanted to let you go from my heart or from my life." Severus whispered in to Iris's shoulder.
Iris heard Severus and it made her heart ache terribly. Iris stopped stroking Severus's hair at the sound of his words. Severus looked up at Iris with pain in his eyes. All Iris could do was stroke his beautiful face and wonder. Wonder what would have been if they never chose the path they did so many years ago.
"I've caused you so much pain. I betrayed your trust." Iris cried to herself. "I left you but yet you never once left me." Iris said to herself. "Why do you allow me back in to your life when it will only end in heartache again?" Iris asked herself. "It is all my fault. It is my fault that you are so bitter towards everyone, even the people who care for you. It is all my fault." Iris thought to herself.
Severus stared at Iris and for once he could read her deep chocolate brown eyes. He knew that she was worried, sorry and scared.
"It is all my fault." Iris and Severus both whispered at the same time.
Severus gave a small smile but Iris just pulled away from Severus and stared down at her floor not wanting to look at Severus. Sensing something was wrong Severus moved closer to Iris.
"What is the matter Iris?" Severus asked lifting her face with his hand. "You haven't seemed yourself in a long time Iris?" Severus asked with concern.
Iris took Severus's hands in hers and looked down at them. "I am sorry for everything Sev."
"Sorry for what Iris?" Severus asked with curiosity.
"For everything. Everything between us, everything with Harry, and everything with the Dark Lord. Just everything." Iris said with tears falling down her face.
"It's not your fault Iris." Severus said pulling Iris back into an embrace.
"Yes it is!" Iris said violently pushing herself away from Severus.
Iris got up from Severus's black velvet couch and started pacing his office. Iris was mumbling to herself, arms flailing all over the place with tears pouring down her face. Severus just sat back and watched in shock not knowing what to do with the sight before his eyes.
"I had to give in to the Dark Lord. I had to agree to come into that boy's life. The only reason why the Ministry wanted because of my secrets. That is all everyone want are my secrets!" Iris said in a shrilly voice as she shook her fist in the air violently.
Severus quickly got up from the couch and rushed over to Iris to try and calm her down and comfort her. Severus reached out for Iris only to be knocked down to the ground by the blow she gave to his face.
"It's all my fault!" Iris yelled as she headed for Severus's office door.
Severus quickly got to his feet. "It is not your fault Iris it is Voldemort's!" Severus yelled but quickly realized what he had just said.
"How dare you say his name!" Iris growled as she turned on her heels to face Severus.
Severus started backing up as Iris moved forward. Severus backed into his couch and could not go any further. Severus thought of grabbing for wand but he couldn't bring himself to pull in on Iris.
Iris kept moving in on Severus until she was barely inches away from his face.
"Just listen to me Iris." Severus pleaded.
Iris just stood there seething with anger, as she looked Severus in the eye.
Severus just looked at Iris and told her what he has wanted to tell her for a while now.
"We were meant to live for so much more but we have lost ourselves in a world of darkness and we can't get out. I can't begin to comprehend what is going on in your mind Iris. All I want you to know is that I am here for you and that I love you." Severus said with a heavy heart even though he just confessed his love to a woman who might not be able to return it.
Iris just stared at Severus like she didn't hear a word his just said. Iris turned on her heel and rushed out of Severus's office and headed back to hers.
Severus slumped up against the couch. "You're on a road of destruction Iris." Severus said out loud in his empty office.
*^*^*
Iris hurried back to her office and rushed over to her fireplace. She added the last few ingredients to her polyjuice potion. Iris then went and sat her desk and played with the silver ring on her hand. After playing with for a few minutes and staring off into space she took off the ring and placed in on her desk.
"I'll get him alone if it is the last thing I do." Iris said as she tapped the sliver "P" engraved ring with her wand.
Iris tapped the ring several times and said a quick spell and suddenly the ring turned bright blue. As quickly as the ring glowed blue it was now back to it's original silver color.
"One touch of this and Harry will be where he needs to be." Iris said devilishly.
"All I need is the perfect time to transform myself and finish what has been started." Iris yawned as she headed to bed.
A New Beginning
Chapter 9 Quickly Approaching Destruction
Harry felt bad. It was not an ill feeling but a bad feeling in general. Harry was keeping a secret from his two best friends and he felt bad about that. He also felt bad because the Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch teams were no longer able to play for the remainder of the school year. This made Harry's stomach turn. This was the second time in two years that he couldn't play Quidditch. This was Slytherin's and Gryffindor's punishment for the brawl that took place just a matter of a few days ago. The Quidditch cup was up for grabs between either Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. Of course these two houses were excited because for the first time in a long time someone other than Slytherin or Gryffindor would win the Quidditch cup.
The mood around school was slightly unpleasant. It could be seen in all the students plus the Professors. Harry even noticed that Professor Dumbledore wasn't his usual happy self. The unpleasantness reigned over any happiness that was in the school. The weather even seemed to match the mood of the school. Ever since the game the weather has been overcast, windy, extremely cold and of course rain mixed with snow and sleet. Even with Christmas approaching the bad mood of the school didn't seem like it wanted to be lifted.
*^*^*
Severus was cooped up in his office all morning and all afternoon one Saturday in early December. He felt awkward. He just didn't know how to put it into words at all. For once Severus couldn't explain the feeling he had deep down in his gut. He decided to skip dinner he wasn't hungry actually he hadn't felt like eating for days. He tried a few times to eat a little something but every time he did it wouldn't stay down for long. Besides not be able to eat he was starting to get terrible headaches. Severus usually got these kinds of headaches when he was under horrendous amounts of stress.
So instead of going to dinner Severus decided to walk around the school. There was no place in particular that he wanted to go he just thought that maybe the coolness of the castle and the fresh air, well any air outside the potions lab was fresh, would help ease his headache.
Seveurs came upon the library and decided to go in. He liked the smell of the old books and being able to walk the long isles seemed like a nice idea. Severus hated to go to the library when there were students there. He could feel their stares and hear the whispered voices. He like the fact that invoked fear in most students but he also enjoyed private time that wasn't plagued by student's glares and snide remarks behind his back.
Severus walked the long isles and let his hands run over the spines of the books as he enjoyed the peace and quiet of the library. He made his way to the back of the library where the large old windows were located. He walked out between two isles and realized he was not alone like he thought he was. By the farthest window stood a semi-dark figure. Severus knew who it was by the way that they happened to be staring out the window in to the oncoming darkness. It was the same stare they used when looking deep into a fire.
Severus walked over and stood next to the shadowy figure.
"Good evening Iris." Severus said looking out the window.
"Good evening Sev." Iris said with a tired sigh as she continued to stare out the window at nothing.
Severus and Iris just stood side by side looking out the window for quite sometime. Severus then reached over and took Iris's small hand in his and held it. Iris looked down at her hand and then up at Severus who continued to stare out the window. Iris gently removed her hand from Severus's hand. He never looked over at her but she studied his face and she could see there was disappointment in his eyes.
"Is there something I can do for you Sev?" Iris asked still looking at him.
"No." Severus sighed deeply. "Just decided to take a walk instead of going to dinner and wound up here and came across you." He said.
"Oh." Iris slightly annoyed by Severus's presence.
"It's awfully dark out there for this time of the evening." Severus said making small talk.
Iris stared with a blank expression across her face. With a voice not her own she answered Severus's question. "Darkness ever encroaching. Darkness ever destroying." With that said she turned and walked away from Severus.
"What?" Severus asked as Iris headed back towards the dark isles of the library.
"Nothing." Iris plainly said without looking back.
"Iris." Severus called out as he followed her back into the darkness of the library.
"Yes." Iris said stopping but not turning back to face Severus who stood a few feet behind her.
Iris and Severus just stood there both in silence. Iris stood there waiting for Severus to continue but he never did. Iris not wanting to wait anymore left Severus by himself in the back of library and she returned to the dark and cold hallways.
Severus knew what he wanted to ask Iris but he couldn't find his voice to do so. He just stood there and watched her leave him once again. Severus headed back towards the windows and placed his forehead against the ice cold window hoping his headache would go away as waves of nausea passed over him.
*^*^*
Dinner in the Great Hall was pretty quiet. Just low mummers could be heard through out. Ron, Harry and Hermione sat there eating very little and talking even less. Harry kept glancing up at the head table. A few times he caught Dumbledore's eye and he would give Harry a weak smile.
"I wonder where Professor Hecate and Professor Snape are?" Hermione asked as she noticed Harry look up at the head table for the hundredth time.
"Haven't seem much of Professor Hecate at all really." Ron said. "She hasn't been to class in what seems like ages." Ron said pushing his plate to the side with much of his food still on it. "But it has been nice being taught again by Professor Lupin." Ron added.
Hermione nodded in agreement with Ron. Harry just sat quietly and he continued to look up at the head table.
Hermione played with her food. "Also, we haven't seen her since the fight."
"That is right Hermione. I wonder what is with Professor Hecate?" Ron asked.
"I've been wondering that myself. Maybe Dumbledore asked her to step down from teaching the remainder of the year because look at what she has taught us up until a few weeks ago. None of the material was in any of the books let alone in the library." Hermione said with concern.
"Let me guess you've been researching once again Hermione." Ron said sarcastically.
Hermione just glared and Ron and continued. "This has to be things she has seen when she was working for the Ministry and face it some of it is closely related to Voldemort. I bet some of the students have complained to their parents who have most likely sent owls to the Ministry."
"And Dumbledore doesn't have the heart to tell her to leave." Ron said.
"True but most likely he is trying to get her cleared with the Ministry so she can continue teaching soon." Hermione said.
Herminone and Ron were busy with their conversation when they both realized that Harry hadn't removed his gaze from the head table at all.
"Harry why do you keep looking over at the head table?" Hermione asked turning her gaze back to the head table.
Harry sighed. "I need to tell you two something but it is going to have to wait till later tonight once everyone has gone to bed."
Ron and Hermione just looked at Harry confused. Neither of them decided not to ask him what it was about because they knew that it would be pointless. The three friends sat there in silence and ate a little bit more before heading back to the common room.
*^*^*
Ron, Harry and Hermione sat at a table furthest away from everyone else in the common room pretending to be doing schoolwork. The common room was fairly quiet. With everyone's spirits down most everyone decided to head up to bed early. It didn't take long for the common room to empty out. Once Harry knew it was safe he put down his book and looked at both Hermione and Ron.
Harry took a deep breath. "Where do I begin?" He asked out loud to himself.
"How about at the beginning Harry." Hermione said in a friendly and caring voice.
Harry smiled at her and began.
"What I have to tell you both may or may not come to a surprise." Harry started. "Let me get the most important thing out the way first. Professor Hecate is my cousin." Harry said looking down at his hands that were in his lap.
"She's your cousin?!" Ron asked in bewilderment.
"To be more exact she is my second cousin. She is my dad's first cousin." Harry added.
"I kind of figured that much." Hermione said. "The resemblance between the two of you was just to uncanny for her not be a relative of yours Harry." Hermione said in a calm voice.
"You could have filled me in on that little bit of information Hermione." Ron said sarcastically.
Hermione just glared at Ron. "Harry please continue."
"She is a member of the order." Harry said.
"Good she is fighting for our side!" Ron exclaimed. "Do you know what she is doing for the order?" Ron asked.
"She is a spy just like Professor Snape." Harry said bluntly.
"What?" Ron said with his mouth hanging open.
"If she is a spy that means she use to be." Hermione said trailing off.
"She use to be a Death Eater." Harry said finishing Hermione's sentence.
"WOW." Ron whispered. "That could be why you never found out about her let alone why you didn't go and live with her after your parents died?" Ron said still in shock.
"There are few reasons. One she is ashamed of her past and it was just safer for me to be the Dursleys." Harry said with no emotion at all.
"That can't be all of what you wanted to tell us right, Harry?" Hermione said looking at her friend.
Harry took a deep breath. "Professor Hecate may or may not be safe."
"What does that mean Harry?" Ron asked a little bit confused.
"Well.The Order is aware of Voldemort planning an attack on me and they don't know what side she is truly on." Harry said with nervous feelings rushing over him. "Neither Professor Dumbledore nor Professor McGonagall nor Professor Lupin would tell me much more other than that." Harry said.
"What!" Ron and Hermione both exclaimed.
"Professor Snape and Professor Hecate both have parts in Voldemort's plan but that is all I know. I don't know any of the details. I was just told to watch myself and that I would be watched at all times by people I know and people I don't." Harry added.
Ron and Hermione couldn't say anything at all. They just stared at him in shock with their mouths wide open.
"That's what I've been keeping from the two of you. I hope that you all aren't mad at me. I needed time to think and take everything in. It was difficult for me to find out that I have a relative that I can't get close to because there is the risk of her giving me to Voldemort." Harry said with a quiver in his voice.
Ron and Hermione were quiet. Ron kept opening his mouth and closing it like he had something to say but just didn't know how to say it.
Hermione reach over and put her hand on Harry's and looked at him. "Harry we understand why you didn't tell us but we are glad we know now because we can also look out for you." Hermione said smiling at her friend.
"Thanks Hermione." Harry said giving her a weak smile and feeling extremely over whelmed.
"Ron are you alright?" Harry asked looking at his friend.
"Yeah, I'm fine mate." Ron said finally able to speak.
"Good because I have one more thing to tell the two of you. I don't know how you are going to take it." Harry said pausing with a sly little smile.
"What?" Ron asked with curiosity.
"I found this quite funny and quite interesting at the same time." Harry started.
"What?" Ron asked again.
"Professor Snape and Professor Hecate dated while they were students here." Harry finally said.
Hermione gave a little giggle and Ron laughed out loud.
"Snape date. That I can't believe." Ron said laughing still.
"I think it's cute." Hermione said smiling ear to ear.
The three of them sat there talking and laughing about a girl actually liking and wanting to date Professor Snape. Hermione was defending Snape and Ron swore up and down that Harry's cousin was bonkers for dating him. Harry just sat there and laughed at his two friends argue about Professor Snape's love life. Finally Ron, Harry and Hermione went their separate ways and headed up to bed.
Ron and Harry entered their room quietly and got undressed. Harry climbed into bed and laid there with his thoughts running a mile a minute. He wished he could have fallen asleep instantly like Ron but he couldn't. His mind kept wondering to negative thoughts. Harry kept wondering if this was going to be the time that Voldemort finally got him. He wanted to get to know his cousin and ask her questions about his family but she isn't safe.
Harry just tossed and turned for hours. He couldn't get settled at all. He had this gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. He felt something terrible was going to happen to him. He was also curious about the fact that he hadn't had any visions or felt any of Voldemort's emotions lately. Harry wasn't practicing his Occlumency since that night he got in to Professor Snape's memories and saw him kiss his cousin. Harry went to bed at night sometimes hoping to get a feeling a slight glance of something Voldemort was doing so he could inform Dumbledore and help the Order out.
Harry wished he had a normal life not a normal muggle life but a normal wizard's life. He wished he had both his parents. He wanted to get to know his family on his dad's side. There were so many questions he still has about his family but no one is willing to answer them. The one person Harry could count on was Sirius but he was no longer around.
"Yet another family member of mine to fall victim to Voldemort." Harry thought bitterly to himself as he continued to toss and turn.
Harry knew that Voldemort wanted him bad enough to destroy his family. Harry had played with a certain thought for some time now. Harry wondered if Voldemort wanted him to have a bad life like he did. His mother died after he was born and his father gave him away. Harry wouldn't wish that on his worst enemy because no one should ever have to go through life without a family. Harry toyed with that thought for a while but was certain that it wasn't Voldemort's plan to torture him that way. Voldemort wanted Harry because of the powers that flowed through him. Harry was key to Voldemort's plan for him to fully return to the magnificent and evil power he once had sixteen years ago in the wizarding world.
Harry drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the night. The last thing Harry saw before heading off into another world was the back of his eyelids. Harry then felt himself slip in to darkness and arrive in a dark place were hushed voices could be heard.
*^*^*
Severus sat in his cold and barely lit office. He was sitting in front of his grand fireplace in a black velvet couch. Severus sat there with his head resting on the back of the couch. He sat there with his eyes closed shut wishing his headache away. He sat there motionless almost like he was sleeping but in reality he wasn't. He wasn't even aware of his surrounding or the fact that someone had entered his office and was standing in the shadows watching him intently.
Severus's late night visitor stood in the shadows. The light from the fireplace did not even reach the spot were the shadowy figure stood. The mysterious figure was just another fixture in Severus's office. The only sounds that could be heard in Severus's office was the soft crackling of the fire and the gentle breath escaping Severus's lips.
The visitor removed it's black cloak and quietly stepped out the shadows and made it's way to Severus who still had his eyes closed and resting his head on the back of his couch. The visitor draped the cloak on the couch and stood behind Severus's resting head. The shadowy figure never once made a noise to give its self away. Severus was still unaware that someone was standing behind him. He never made a noise or moved. His guard was completely down which made him vulnerable and he wasn't even aware of that fact.
The dark visitor stood behind the unaware Severus. He never once stirred but the visitor was aware that he picked up something different in his office. Still he never opened his eyes or lifted his head to check his office. He just continued to lie there breathing deeply and lost in his thoughts.
"Iris never leaves my thoughts." Severus thought to himself. "She gets to me so much lately. Right now I am imagining that I am smelling her perfume." Severus thought to himself as he sighed out loud. Severus took a deep breath of the lightly scented air around him.
"Strawberries." Severus mumbled quietly.
The shadowy figure was startled by the whispered word. A smile formed on the dark visitor by the sheer thought of the word that escaped Severus's mouth. Quietly the late night visitor lifted its hands and placed two fingers on each of his temples and gently applied pressure and moved them in a circular motion. A soft moan escaped Severus's lips. He kept his eyes closed. He stayed there and let the visitor continue to massage his temples.
Severus would have normally jumped at the slightest touch from a dark figure in his office but he didn't this time. He knew this touch very well. He loved this touch. He has dreamt of this touch nightly since the beginning of the year. Severus wanted to open his eyes and look at his late night visitor but he didn't because he was afraid that the moment he did they would disappear from his office and from him once again.
Severus reached his pale hand and gently touched the fingers massaging his left temple. His hand met the soft and warm skin of his visitor. He slowly removed the hand from his temple and wrapped his own hand around it. Still with his eyes closed he led his visitor around his couch so that they were now standing in front of him. Still clasping his visitor's hand in his he lifted his head and opened his eyes.
Severus first glanced at the small delicate hand in his large pale and bony hand. He then lead his gaze upward and met the face he had been hoping to see in his office for quite some time now. For the first time in a long time a smile crossed Severus's face.
"Hi Sev." Iris whispered smiling down at Severus as she squeezed his hand tightly.
Severus pulled Iris gently down on the couch next to him and took her in a warm and loving embrace. Iris and Severus sat there holding each other tightly. Severus laid his head on her small shoulder breathing her strawberry scent in. Iris reached her hand up and gently stroked his hair.
"I have dreamt of this for quite some time now." Severus thought to himself. "I thought she would never come back to me. Yes, she is back at Hogwart's but she was never back to me." Severus said to himself as he tightened his embrace around Iris. "It is all my fault. You chose the wrong path because of me. It is all my fault." Severus thought to himself.
"I never wanted to let you go from my heart or from my life." Severus whispered in to Iris's shoulder.
Iris heard Severus and it made her heart ache terribly. Iris stopped stroking Severus's hair at the sound of his words. Severus looked up at Iris with pain in his eyes. All Iris could do was stroke his beautiful face and wonder. Wonder what would have been if they never chose the path they did so many years ago.
"I've caused you so much pain. I betrayed your trust." Iris cried to herself. "I left you but yet you never once left me." Iris said to herself. "Why do you allow me back in to your life when it will only end in heartache again?" Iris asked herself. "It is all my fault. It is my fault that you are so bitter towards everyone, even the people who care for you. It is all my fault." Iris thought to herself.
Severus stared at Iris and for once he could read her deep chocolate brown eyes. He knew that she was worried, sorry and scared.
"It is all my fault." Iris and Severus both whispered at the same time.
Severus gave a small smile but Iris just pulled away from Severus and stared down at her floor not wanting to look at Severus. Sensing something was wrong Severus moved closer to Iris.
"What is the matter Iris?" Severus asked lifting her face with his hand. "You haven't seemed yourself in a long time Iris?" Severus asked with concern.
Iris took Severus's hands in hers and looked down at them. "I am sorry for everything Sev."
"Sorry for what Iris?" Severus asked with curiosity.
"For everything. Everything between us, everything with Harry, and everything with the Dark Lord. Just everything." Iris said with tears falling down her face.
"It's not your fault Iris." Severus said pulling Iris back into an embrace.
"Yes it is!" Iris said violently pushing herself away from Severus.
Iris got up from Severus's black velvet couch and started pacing his office. Iris was mumbling to herself, arms flailing all over the place with tears pouring down her face. Severus just sat back and watched in shock not knowing what to do with the sight before his eyes.
"I had to give in to the Dark Lord. I had to agree to come into that boy's life. The only reason why the Ministry wanted because of my secrets. That is all everyone want are my secrets!" Iris said in a shrilly voice as she shook her fist in the air violently.
Severus quickly got up from the couch and rushed over to Iris to try and calm her down and comfort her. Severus reached out for Iris only to be knocked down to the ground by the blow she gave to his face.
"It's all my fault!" Iris yelled as she headed for Severus's office door.
Severus quickly got to his feet. "It is not your fault Iris it is Voldemort's!" Severus yelled but quickly realized what he had just said.
"How dare you say his name!" Iris growled as she turned on her heels to face Severus.
Severus started backing up as Iris moved forward. Severus backed into his couch and could not go any further. Severus thought of grabbing for wand but he couldn't bring himself to pull in on Iris.
Iris kept moving in on Severus until she was barely inches away from his face.
"Just listen to me Iris." Severus pleaded.
Iris just stood there seething with anger, as she looked Severus in the eye.
Severus just looked at Iris and told her what he has wanted to tell her for a while now.
"We were meant to live for so much more but we have lost ourselves in a world of darkness and we can't get out. I can't begin to comprehend what is going on in your mind Iris. All I want you to know is that I am here for you and that I love you." Severus said with a heavy heart even though he just confessed his love to a woman who might not be able to return it.
Iris just stared at Severus like she didn't hear a word his just said. Iris turned on her heel and rushed out of Severus's office and headed back to hers.
Severus slumped up against the couch. "You're on a road of destruction Iris." Severus said out loud in his empty office.
*^*^*
Iris hurried back to her office and rushed over to her fireplace. She added the last few ingredients to her polyjuice potion. Iris then went and sat her desk and played with the silver ring on her hand. After playing with for a few minutes and staring off into space she took off the ring and placed in on her desk.
"I'll get him alone if it is the last thing I do." Iris said as she tapped the sliver "P" engraved ring with her wand.
Iris tapped the ring several times and said a quick spell and suddenly the ring turned bright blue. As quickly as the ring glowed blue it was now back to it's original silver color.
"One touch of this and Harry will be where he needs to be." Iris said devilishly.
"All I need is the perfect time to transform myself and finish what has been started." Iris yawned as she headed to bed.