Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything that has ever been mentioned in the Harry Potter books does not belong to me. I would like to own them, and make billions of dollars every year, but the only thing in this story that is mine is my plot, if you can call it one. I am simply one of those very sad people who obsess over something that isn't real. So please, don't sue me, all I have that is of any value is a cello and a computer. Thank you for your time.

December 1, 1996

10:35 AM

History of Magic

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I think that I'm going to kill Ron Weasley. He is one of my best friends and all, but he just has no understanding of what goes on around him. Honestly, he didn't know for almost a year that Ginny and Michael were going out.

Oh course, Ginny probably didn't tell him intentionally, since he, along with the rest of the Weasley boys, decided that no one was ever going to be good enough for Ginny, and anyone who attempted to do anything at all with her would be sentenced to death by hanging, drawing and quartering. But when it comes down to it, I don't care about Ron's obliviousness when it's about Ginny. I care when he doesn't stop and notice me.

Never in a thousand years would I have expected to develop a crush on Ronald Weasley. I mean, he was always so rude, particularly on our first train ride here. And that comment about me having no friends and being a positive nightmare, well, all I can say is that he was a total bastard to me back then.

Even after we became friends, I didn't expect it to be him. Honestly, who would you rather go out with, a guy who understands what you come from and who has saved the world repeatedly, or an obnoxious git whose life goal is to play for some silly quidditch team.

The choice does seem obvious. And it was that way for me. I just didn't do what everyone expected.

I never wanted to like either of my best friends in that way. It just seemed like it would break up our friendship, and I couldn't stand to have that happen, particularly because of me. But maybe that's going to happen anyway. Harry seems to be drifting off farther than he ever has been from both of us, and Ron and I are always fighting.

Ginny told me that he's probably trying to flirt with me, and just doesn't know how. I don't know though. I just want answers, pure, clean cut answers. I want to know why Ron gave me perfume last year for Christmas, instead of some book. I want to know why he seems so upset every time anyone mentions Viktor Krum, and why he seems so enraged at the prospect of Viktor being my boyfriend. He seems to think that being in contact with Viktor is going to damage my morals somehow. HAH, as if.

Sometimes, particularly when we're in the middle of an argument, I want to scream at him that I love him, and tell him to shut up. But I have a feeling I'm not going to. I want to know what he sees in me, whether he sees me as a potential girlfriend, or just as another little sister like Ginny, someone who needs protecting more than anything else. I just need answers, and I have no idea where to go to get them.

I love schoolwork and books for that reason. Everything is neat and organized, and if you get something wrong it's easy to fix. In the real world, nothing is simple, and everything could be a potential disaster. Oh course, no one else seems to understand that, Ron in particular. I love him, but he is such a jerk.

He thinks that I enjoy reading and studying just to make a point to him and Harry about how they could be doing everything so much better if they tried harder. I'm not, although they really should be studying a bit more. But Ron tells me on a regular basis that I worry to much about things like OWLs, which could be true, but that's entirely beside the point.

And as for being a Know-it-all, well, he would never understand the circumstances that made me what I am. I'm sure he's never been alone, and been left with no one for company but characters in a book. Even now, when I have him and Harry, the habit stays. Books can't betray you, or decided that they don't want to be your friend anymore.

Like I said before, I have no idea why I ever developed a crush on him. Sometimes it seems that we know next to nothing about each other, and we're both interested in such different things. Take quidditch for an example. I just can't see the point of flying around on brooms chasing a few balls around and trying to hit them with bats, or something like that. And he worships the sport, if you can call it one.

And then take homework. I enjoy being ready ahead of time, and he couldn't care less. Honestly, it's an utter and complete wonder they haven't expelled him yet.

He has so many bad qualities, like his over-obsession with quidditch, his competitive nature, his boastfulness, his obsession with adventure. When I think about those, I truly think I have gone insane, for ever liking him.

But there are all of his good qualities. His loyalty, his friendship, his steadfastness, and his sense of justice. And they cancel out everything else.

In muggle romance books, a lot of the heroes have their best friends fall madly in love with them, and never realize it. I always thought that that was a bit silly and improbable, but now that I've lived through it, I can understand the feeling. Sometimes I want to tell him so badly that I think I'll burst, and then other times I wish no one would ever hear about this.

There are times when I lie awake at night wondering at possible double meaning in whatever conversations we had had that day, and other times when I cry myself to sleep because he was so heartless and cruel.

There are times when I think that this is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and others when I wish I could go back in time and change everything that had to do with him. But I guess this is just a normal part of growing up.

Hermione Granger

Go review, now. I'm serious. If you have any comments to make, things I could improve, characters that you want to hear from, how beautiful it was (hint hint) that's the only way to reach me, since my mom's paranoid about the internet and won't let me give out my email address. Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated, flattery is loved, and flames are accepted, but if received I will flame back in my next author's note, and I think I do it well. If you don't believe me, then check out the author's note of my story Confusion in chapter two. I had fun with that one.

I know that this chapter is a bit strange. I'm sorry about that, really. And I'm sorry about the long wait between stories. Finals are evil, evil I tell you. I hate plants. I couldn't care less about what makes a plant an angiosperm or a gymnosperm or a dicot or a monocot or whatever. IT"S EVIL! (sorry about that, I'm just sick of Biology)

About the betrayal stuff, well, that's me just taking a bit of license with Herm's character. I'm actually a lot like her, as far as reading and schoolwork goes, and I read a lot because of something like that happening to me when I was little. I know it's not probable that that's what happened to

Love you all,

Sally