Chapter 5 - Lost And Forgotten?

Over the day Sam had suffered from headache several times. Sometimes the tearing pain made her cry some silent tears. Every time she needed comfort she thought of Pete and the last happy days they had had together before she had gone on the mission on that she had been shot and captured by Baal's jaffa who had caught her off guard coming out of their hiding-out in the woods as she had been on her way to the Stargate.

She thought of the last evening she and her boyfriend had spent together. Pete had taken her to a romantic picnic at the shore of a small lake not far away from Colorado Springs. After finishing their meal they had jumped into the water and had swum together, taking their arms around each other. After that they had lain in the sand of the small beach together, laughing about each other's stories and jokes just like teenagers.

Now Sam was longing to see Pete again. She was everything else than sure, if this would ever happen, but she was not willing to give up hope, yet. Someone would find her and take her back home before she ended up as Baal's servant, so she thought.

Samira really seemed to have other plans for her. She had been around with Sam all day, caring for her not mentioning the happenings of the morning with a single word. She appeared to be bothered and concerned about Carter's condition and her wellbeing.

Some time late in the afternoon another servant entered the room carrying a small, crying bundle into her arms, she passed to Samira. It was a baby not older than five months and Samira held it to her breast to nurse it. While she did that she smiled at Samantha brightly.

"This is my little girl", she told her proudly, "her name's Daray."

Sam watched her for a long while before she uttered a question she should not have asked: "Who's her father?"

Now Samira smiled at her even brighter: "It is our god himself."

"You mean Baal ... is her father?" Sam was stunned.

"Indeed he is."

Carter could not believe it. Baal was having a child together with this still very young servant. She found it hard to hide her dismay.

Samira spoke on not caring for the expression on her opposite's face: "She is a gift of love my master once gave me in a wonderful night. There's no one who can understand how great the affection was I felt for him, then."

Sam had a flashback about how she had once talked to Pete about having kids one day. He had smiled and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend telling her that he would be really happy about that... Tears shot into her eyes once again. Now this all was far away from her. What if she would not make it back to him? What if she would obey Baal one day, having children with him herself? She could not stand the mere idea of that.

"You see he has always been good to me and he will be the same way to you, if you just accept him as your god."

Samantha refused that thought: "I can't", she replied weeping softly.

"One day you'll change your mind. Lord Baal is the only one whom you are to love. If there's anyone waiting for you at home, forget him, you'll never see that man again."

Thinking about losing Pete forever put a stitch to Sam's heart, but the next moment she realized that Jack was the one whose loss pained her even more.

One moment later Samira left taking her baby to bed. Sam suddenly felt tired, she collapsed onto the bed, sobbing herself to sleep.

Baal was very content of Samira's work. She had taken the Tau'ri to a point where her fears of loss and longings to get home were in the most advanced state possible. If she wanted or not she was now fully in his hand. He could make her believe whatever he wanted her to about her past and the men she adored.

As Sam woke up the next morning she did not remember much about the night. Her head was aching and her mind seemed sort of empty. She did not remember anything about the man she loved, Pete was just a faraway echo of someone she once knew. She let out a silent cry as she realized that she could not return home; she had disappointed all of her friends by leaving her best friend Jack alone as he had needed her the most.

She saw that she had no other choice but to obey Baal if she ever wanted to be accepted again.