Harry is Scary
A/N: This is a lovely little parody written by LuCkY PiScEs and DreaminGemini6192.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (tear, tear) but I do own... my bedroom windows!!!
Ch.1: Dirty Harry
Harry obnoxiously frolicked down the never-ending glorious hall that has pictures of Professor Snape all over it.
"What splendid portraits." Harry contemplated good- willingly. "I love this hall on the morning of my potions exams! No- come to think of it, I've always loved this hall!" Harry confused himself as well as the fair readers who will all review this story.
"All hail Professor Snape! King of Hogwarts! We will build you a secret chamber that hooks to the Chamber of Secrets for not making us take exams!" raved Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. Everyone else exchanged mentally confused looks, except for Pansy Parkinson, Snape's wife-to-be, who enjoyed giggling constantly at the thought of Professor Snape in an evening ball gown.
"Ron. Go get me my favorite book." Hermione said thinking OBVIOUSLY about Hogwarts, A History, which she was in the middle of reading for the 407,369th time.
"Of course my sweet glass of lemonade. By the way, did I till you how much I love you? Will you marry me?" Ron said blandly with his head in the clouds and in pink-sprinkled cupcakes.
"O! Yes darling! I do! I do! Harry, will you be my bridesmaid since I do not think you are a boy and anyone who is not my friend, which is everyone, by the way, will not want to do it."
Suddenly, we all visualize Harry with a stoned look on his face sitting in the basement with the teenage cast of That 70's Show (which I hope Harry has heard of, since he has been in the Wizarding World so long he hasn't had a chance to do something constructive, like watch a show with people from the 70's on it.) talking about his love life.
"Oh, uh, sure, my Hermione. Only if you marry me afterwards and have a large family of 19 children 1 French poodle named Antonia Stephano Alfredo Sauce with me and Remus Lupin."
And he ambled away, thinking of a meadow of flowers, where he would frolic and "dance until he dies" with Hermione, far, far away in Japan.
We now join Fred and George who are now with Harry still in the basement with Fez of That 70's Show now comparing their thoughts, and eyeshadow, on the Great Wall of China and cookies.
"Harry, stop talking about your purple lilac-smelling happy-go-lucky eyeshadow and matching gel pens. We need not hear more, do we not, my dear brother Fred and member of my merry men club? Which, by the way, Harry, would you like to join? (Yeah, Harry answered. He was in deep converse with a lady genie who lives in Alaska.)
Since their being expelled from school, Fred and George have taken up the study of the subject of Robin Hood and the culinary arts of Pittsburg.
Harry, who got bored, was about to leave when he decided to join Fez who was smelling chocolate cake.
"Are you dumbasses still down there?" hollered Red from upstairs.
"Yeah. We're trying to figure out if the chocolate cake smells anything like Professor Sprout's rabbit."
"If you ask me, chocolate has always smelled like Dumblerdore's shoe." Red explained. "Now get out!"
Harry then decided to apparate back to his stupid school. "Think about it, Harry," Harry thought to himself, "if I could change the school in some odd way, it could be called Hogwarts School of Wax and Burping. Ahhhhh.... I could see it now....."
Back at school......
Hermione sat on the couch with baby #1, baby #2, and baby #3 sprawled on the couch.
"'ello Hermione. So glad you got to work already." Harry said waltzing in the room.
"Well, I do want this family......bad." She said walking over to him. "If you catch my drift." She took his face in her hands, gently teasing him with a long, passionate kiss.
"Harry!!!!!! That's MY wife!!!!!" Ron hollered.
"Two can play at this game. Actually, it's 3. She's having 19 kids with Remus, then me, and if you just happen to be lucky- oh, no, nevermind- not you." Harry tittered in an evil genious kind of way.
"Harry, you dirty boy, you." Hermione seduced them both.
A/N: Thank you all for reading. Ch.2 is coming soon, but we do need inspiration.... So REVIEW!!
Flames are welcome, but not wanted
A/N: This is a lovely little parody written by LuCkY PiScEs and DreaminGemini6192.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (tear, tear) but I do own... my bedroom windows!!!
Ch.1: Dirty Harry
Harry obnoxiously frolicked down the never-ending glorious hall that has pictures of Professor Snape all over it.
"What splendid portraits." Harry contemplated good- willingly. "I love this hall on the morning of my potions exams! No- come to think of it, I've always loved this hall!" Harry confused himself as well as the fair readers who will all review this story.
"All hail Professor Snape! King of Hogwarts! We will build you a secret chamber that hooks to the Chamber of Secrets for not making us take exams!" raved Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. Everyone else exchanged mentally confused looks, except for Pansy Parkinson, Snape's wife-to-be, who enjoyed giggling constantly at the thought of Professor Snape in an evening ball gown.
"Ron. Go get me my favorite book." Hermione said thinking OBVIOUSLY about Hogwarts, A History, which she was in the middle of reading for the 407,369th time.
"Of course my sweet glass of lemonade. By the way, did I till you how much I love you? Will you marry me?" Ron said blandly with his head in the clouds and in pink-sprinkled cupcakes.
"O! Yes darling! I do! I do! Harry, will you be my bridesmaid since I do not think you are a boy and anyone who is not my friend, which is everyone, by the way, will not want to do it."
Suddenly, we all visualize Harry with a stoned look on his face sitting in the basement with the teenage cast of That 70's Show (which I hope Harry has heard of, since he has been in the Wizarding World so long he hasn't had a chance to do something constructive, like watch a show with people from the 70's on it.) talking about his love life.
"Oh, uh, sure, my Hermione. Only if you marry me afterwards and have a large family of 19 children 1 French poodle named Antonia Stephano Alfredo Sauce with me and Remus Lupin."
And he ambled away, thinking of a meadow of flowers, where he would frolic and "dance until he dies" with Hermione, far, far away in Japan.
We now join Fred and George who are now with Harry still in the basement with Fez of That 70's Show now comparing their thoughts, and eyeshadow, on the Great Wall of China and cookies.
"Harry, stop talking about your purple lilac-smelling happy-go-lucky eyeshadow and matching gel pens. We need not hear more, do we not, my dear brother Fred and member of my merry men club? Which, by the way, Harry, would you like to join? (Yeah, Harry answered. He was in deep converse with a lady genie who lives in Alaska.)
Since their being expelled from school, Fred and George have taken up the study of the subject of Robin Hood and the culinary arts of Pittsburg.
Harry, who got bored, was about to leave when he decided to join Fez who was smelling chocolate cake.
"Are you dumbasses still down there?" hollered Red from upstairs.
"Yeah. We're trying to figure out if the chocolate cake smells anything like Professor Sprout's rabbit."
"If you ask me, chocolate has always smelled like Dumblerdore's shoe." Red explained. "Now get out!"
Harry then decided to apparate back to his stupid school. "Think about it, Harry," Harry thought to himself, "if I could change the school in some odd way, it could be called Hogwarts School of Wax and Burping. Ahhhhh.... I could see it now....."
Back at school......
Hermione sat on the couch with baby #1, baby #2, and baby #3 sprawled on the couch.
"'ello Hermione. So glad you got to work already." Harry said waltzing in the room.
"Well, I do want this family......bad." She said walking over to him. "If you catch my drift." She took his face in her hands, gently teasing him with a long, passionate kiss.
"Harry!!!!!! That's MY wife!!!!!" Ron hollered.
"Two can play at this game. Actually, it's 3. She's having 19 kids with Remus, then me, and if you just happen to be lucky- oh, no, nevermind- not you." Harry tittered in an evil genious kind of way.
"Harry, you dirty boy, you." Hermione seduced them both.
A/N: Thank you all for reading. Ch.2 is coming soon, but we do need inspiration.... So REVIEW!!
Flames are welcome, but not wanted