A/N: The 2nd chapter is finally out! It continues after the 1st chapter, so you shouldn't get confused. Well, get ready to read, the story's here!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but if I did, I'm sure I would be rich.....

Ch.2 What Happens When Nematodes Attack

Harry absentmindedly wandered the halls after dark.

Then Hermione ran up to him in the utmost impolite manner. "Nematodes............ (at least 20 minutes later...) are........................................ (another 20 minutes later...)"

"Are you mental or something? Can you talk? Spit it out already! Freek-a-leeko sista....." Harry mumbled after his first few telling statements.

Hermione slapped him and ran to her new eye of affection, Seamus Finnigan.

"Ron, should girls slap guys or should guys slap girls?"

"Uh.... I don't know Harry..."

"Well, Hermione just slapped me. Does that mean something?"

"Well, I'm not sure. I think if either girls slap guys and guys slap girls they would do it in an angry way. But if one of those 2 groups wasn't supposed to, I'd say they would slap someone else because they like them..."

"Yah, maybe. But first we must figure out if guys are supposed to slap girls of girls are supposed to slap guys. Well, to the library!...."

Later on...

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

At least half the school ran screaming down the hall as Harry and Ron entered it.

"We have the... hey what's the matter?"

"They're here! They have come!"

"Who?"

"Boy are you slow..." someone shouted.

"It's so loud in here that I need aspirin!" another disfigured Hufflepuff added to the hullabulloosee.

"It's the nematodes! They have attacked!"

"Oh," Ron added. "That explains the burning building..."

"I need some steroids to calm me down..." someone cried.

"'ere 'ave um 'o 'is," a puffy faced gothic Ravenclaw said. (Whatever kind of drug she used, it made her speak horrible. I think that other person meant they wanted some Sleep-Ex or something.)

"I'll save you all!" Harry cried.

Minutes later he walked into the room with burnt robes and face covered in ashes. "Neramin..." he grumbled. (Nevermind in English.)

"Wow... for someone who defeated Voldemort, it's pretty sad he can't defeat a nematode," Ron added happily. He hadn't burnt his robes yet.

Oh, no. The whole school is almost burnt," Hermione cried. "I really want to be able to take the end of the year exams..."

Everyone exchanged oddly confused looks and stared at Hermione.

Then, suddenly, Sirius Black strolled out of the broom closet. "Now there will be no silly wand waving or incantations, for I will save you all."

Everyone gasped as Sirius Black fought the nematodes with his bare hands. ("I work out at the mall, carrying womans' bags," he always told Harry.)

After one minute the nematodes fled away and Sirius Black sauntered to the students. "You have just witnessed a grand professional, such as moi fend off dangerous nematoads with brilliant technique. I command you all to worship me because I'm sooo hot!"

"You! You're supposed to be DEAD!" Harry cried. The nurse supplied him with drugs so he would feel better after being defeated by a nematoad.

"Am I not?"

"Are he not?"

"What?"

"When?"

"Crabs taste bad.... I picked one up once...."

And Sirius threw himself out of a window, only to fall on the fat lady who lived down the street.

Professor Snape strutted down the halls in a way reminding us all of a swimsuit model."What are you all doing here? Don't you know that the tanning beds open in 6 minutes?"

"REALLY?! LET ME COME TOO!"

"Well, I guess so, but I only have a limited space in my van, so choose who comes with us wisely..."

Ron ran up to Snape and said in a very out-of-character way, that he would be his new best friend. Harry ran up to him.

"Aren't I your best friend?" he looked around rapidly and smacked him across the face, which led to a very bloody fight, ending in the two making up and making out.

And after that Harry and Ron started another long, complicated conversation on if people should really slap each other at all.

"We will gather evidence at the library. We're off to see the library! The wonderful library of Oz..."

Hermione, who had been crying when seeing her 2 lovers "together"(if ya catch my drift), decided to stalk them, why wouldn't she want to go to the library?

"Ello, Hermione." said a very sexy voice. "What are you up to?"

Hermione glanced up only to see Draco Malfoy and his bottomless and mysterious grey eyes. "Well, I apparently have lost myself in your eyes."

"I have another idea for a "hands-on" experience." He suggested as the 2 leaned in for a passionate kiss.

"Wait. What if Ron and or Harry see me in this romantically enhanced position?"

"You should stop worrying about what other people think, honey. Plus, they could probably get a few tips from this make-out session."

"Well, alright."

And after that romantically enhanced moment, Hermione and Draco decided to step it up a notch and "lead off" to 2nd base...

A/N: YO! YO! YO! Peeps what up in da hit house? Chapta' 3 is comin' soon!