A/N: here's a more timely chapter. Enjoy it, please! Don't forget to review! I liked writing this one… it's dramatic. This is the turning point of the story.
Legolas stared at his closed door, feeling alone again. Is this love? Is this what all the young girls and all the young boys clamor about? This is what the singers celebrate over and what the poets delight in. How can that be? This is no joy, I think. I don't actually remember love, that emotion, that device… I know my mother offered it to me long ago, but I was so young and the youthful mind only retains survival skills. And sadly, that is all I know.
But shouldn't love be a survival skill as well? Perhaps not, what I mean is that I have been able to breathe and move thus far without this emotion-or whatever it is-being a part of my life. My father has raised me to be a prince and eventually, a king who is bound for success, not necessarily with a kind and loving heart. Often times I believe that the love he once had for me, if he ever had it for me, left with my mother.
But look at me! I am no prince, and a king? The question is so absurd it is humorous. I even laugh at the prospect at times. Here I stand, the son of a great king who has born a son who might as well have been born a mere peasant. What was the use of it all? The careful breeding, the most expensive luxuries, the best training, and never has there been a son with more effort exuded on him intended for the sole purpose of his success. How can I stand a failure? How dare I stand a failure…
Yes, a failure, with no one in the world but a loving son of a much greater ruler to call a friend. I don't want to imagine the loneliness I felt before I came here. But at least loneliness is not as complicated as "love" or whatever it is that makes me wish for his comfort. Elrond must be a great man to teach his son the importance of love. Let me correct myself, Elrond must be a great man to teach his sons the importance of love. Elladan is magnificent, I have not felt what it is to be cared about for quite some time, but that is neither here nor there. And what of that boy, Elrohir, he only hates me because he loves his brother. What kind of a world is it when a vile creature like that is so enormously capable of love… but why not I?
"Why not I?" Legolas asked himself aloud, leaving the circles of his thoughts. Once again, that question would remain unanswered tonight. He walked to his balcony, saw one look at the trees and turned from it just as quickly.
He took of his heavy tunic and rolled into bed. The night air was creeping in his window and only slightly chilling him. He thanked it for being merciful to him after the incidents of the morning. The wind blew harsher, as if it was laughing at his meek thoughts of thanks. He turned bitter again and pulled the warm and flawless and thoughtless sheets higher upon his body.
()()()()()()()
"Please, open the door," Elladan whispered after knocking on the heavy wood for quite some time.
"Fine," his twin answered and opened it quite gruffly. "But I will not welcome you." He peered into his chambers and found it even messier than the last time he saw it.
"Please, Elrohir, you must stop this silliness. You will not please the Valar if you act hostile towards your own brother," Elladan immediately wanted to take back the last part of that utterance. Mentioning what seemed to be lost was not the best idea.
Elrohir raised his eyebrows in mock surprise, "I'm horribly sorry, brother, but the Valar are not pleased when I am not in dissention with you either." Elrohir elicited a bitter giggle, "Please, Elladan, you must stop this silliness."
His brother laughed but Elladan stomped his foot in anger, "I will not stand for you mocking my efforts! Enough is enough of your games, Elrohir! You simply cannot stand there begging me for my apology when there is nothing to apologize for."
Without missing a beat: "There is plenty to apologize for, Elladan! You must look at the past, find the reason. But I'll save you the time and just give it to you: you completely betrayed my wisdom!"
"You have no wisdom, Elrohir!" Elladan gasped due to some sudden pain. He felt his own words tear into his beloved brother's heart. That horrible and shocking pain had immediately ricocheted into Elladan's heart induing a horrible sharp stab.
Elrohir gaped and leaned on the threshold of the door for support and whispered: "You meant that."
"No, I… that was foolish of me… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-
"No! Shut your mouth, Elladan! You meant it and you know it… I know it too," Elrohir managed to close his mouth again and took a step back into his room. "You think I have become a fool." Elladan thought he spotted a faint glimmer of Elrohir's former self for a second. His last declaration was spoke in a very reserved manner. The accent of an educated scholar influenced his voice for a brief moment.
"Elrohir, please-
"No! This kingdom laughs at me, our friends laugh at me, father laughs at me, I guess I should've expected you to join in on the big joke as well," Elrohir smiled bitterly and elicited a small laugh as well. "Now I can laugh with all of them too. I can laugh at the most comical character Elven history has ever witnessed: Elrohir Peredhil, son of Elrond, the great diplomat turned mad whore." Elrohir laughed again, but much more heartily. "It's alright, Elladan, you need not apologize anymore. I understand; I am not so much a fool that I can't recognize a joke when I see it."
Elladan remained silent and searched the floor for interest. Moments of silence passed.
Elrohir reached out to his brother with a singular finger tip to lift his chin up to meet his gaze.
The younger twin smiled with an emotion that could be mistaken for evil but could not be mistaken for good, "You were knocking before. Do you still want to come in?"
Elladan shook his head and walked away. When he was out of sight, Elrohir took a walk of his own. He decided to go into the city of Imaldris. The need to be surrounded by normal elves was dire. As he passed out of the outer halls of the palace he heard random comments escaping from the servants' lips…
"Is that Elrohir?"
"Of course, it is. Master Elladan was just called to the stables because his horse has the flu."
"I always knew the twins were fair, but he looks pale."
"When beauty leaves a vacancy, insanity takes it quickly."
"He hasn't spoken in years."
"If it weren't for his brother's voice, I would've forgotten what they sounded like."
Despite his sensitive hearing, he pretended as if he hadn't heard a word and walked out of the palace and into the hustle and bustle the city provided.
But as he took his first ten steps, the streets slowed and many eyes were planted on his form. They must've seen Elladan go to the stables: they know it's me. Weary mothers took one look at his threatening form and shooed their little children back into their homes. Some younger elves, whom looked as if they had just come of age passed by his form and laughed cruelly.
"I heard he sleeps with his brother, one can only imagine!" a roar of laughter rose from the young elves.
"I wouldn't put it past that wacko."
Elrohir walked past them with haste but only felt more eyes follow him, inspecting his movements as if some type of foreign animal.
"Haven't seen him come out of the palace for the Valar know when."
"My cousin trains with Haldir, that's supposedly what the twin does with his time now."
"Has your cousin laid with him yet?" a laugh was heard.
"Could you blame him? He is more fit than his brother, a body to die for…"
"Too bad he's mad!" More laughing.
Elrohir quickened his step. He yearned to go back to the palace and away from the harsh words of these people. But then he remembered why he came out here in the first place: to be surrounded by normal people. They were the normal ones, they were the correct ones: therefore, every word and utterance they spoke must have been correct. It was true, he was mad. He had failed himself: a once great elf reduced to the faint reflection of his former self.
Enough was enough. He pivoted his step and walked back to the palace. Absent-mindedly he pulled his coat tighter around him, as if the thick wool clothe could conceal him.
"I cannot exist with these people anymore. I'm ashamed," the palace guards took note of his quick return and ushered him in quickly.
A single set of eyes watched him from the stables as he hurried back in the protected palace.
"Elrohir, stop…" even though he knew his plea would never fall upon the ears they were intended for. He could not help but long a little: the peak of the iceberg.
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