Severed Ties

Chapter 7

Awakenings

Sunnydale

May 16th, 2002

2:49 a.m.

What would normally have been a twenty minute drive was made in five, thanks to reckless driving, vampiric reflexes and, hey, a tank on wheels.

Spike stopped in the front of Sunnydale Memorial, the front tires of the de Soto resting on the sidewalk. Cutting off the engine, he leapt out of the car without closing the door. He heard several shouts of protest and threats of security as he tore through the first floor. He vaguely felt the light shock to his brain when he pushed an orderly out of the way as he ran towards the steps. It took less than five seconds to climb the three flights of steps to reach Buffy's floor. A few seconds after he rammed through the stairwell door, he found himself in front of her room.

The adrenaline that propelled him the last few minutes was sapped from his being in an instant as he stared at her through the glass. The hope that bloomed within his chest curdled into doubt and his excitement dwindled into fear, as he stood, immobile, only a few feet away from the love of his unlife. He wanted so much to hold her again in his arms, to have her whisper her love to him as he promised her the world. He wanted to feel her warm lips against his cool ones, to hear her moan into his mouth as they reconnected with one another, never to be separated again. Oh, how he wanted that and all that was between them was one insignificant door.

A single door and his own terror.

Spike had given no time about the validity of Faith's statement on his way over but now his mind wouldn't let go of the possibility that his daughter's words were nothing more than talking in her sleep. He was afraid of going into the room and finding out that Buffy was still lost in her coma. If that was the case, the vampire didn't know how he would cope, thus his hesitation. It was better not to know than to have his hopes crushed.

"Quit being such a git," he scolded himself and ran a shaky hand through his platinum locks. "Bitlet wasn't dreamin', you ninny. Now, go in there and sit by your woman till she wakes up."

Satisfied with the self-imposed pep talk, Spike reached up towards the door and slowly pushed it open. He winced at the minute creek of the hinges but continued on until there was enough room for him to slip through. Once inside, he closed the door softly. He stared at the handle, his shoes and through the window--anything to keep him from turning around and facing the petite woman in the bed. Be a man, Spike, he chided himself. Slayer's always counted on you to be strong. Now's no different. Show 'er that she wasn't wrong about you.

Taking a deep breath, Spike turned around. Words failed him as he caught sight of Buffy. She looked so at peace, so at ease, as if there was nothing in the world wrong with her. Not even the IVs that stuck in her arm marred the image of his beautiful goddess. He closed the distance between them slowly, afraid to disturb Buffy's peaceful slumber. He stopped less than a foot from the bed, close enough to touch but far enough away so as not to intrude on her privacy.

"Hey, luv," he whispered and inched forward even more. His thighs brushed against the mattress and his hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. He wanted nothing more than to stroke her face, whisper in her ear that she was not alone. But as much as he longed to touch her, another part of him was afraid that the simple, innocent contact that he craved would do nothing but shatter the image of peace he saw before him.

Get off it, mate. Sooner on later you're gonna have ta do it. Might as well be now. Taking another deep, unnecessary breath, Spike reached out tentatively towards Buffy's cheek. He shivered when his fingertips glided across her warm flesh and he struggled not to pull her into his arms.

"Hey, Buffy," he said and leaned closer towards her. "It's me, Spike. Sorry bout not comin' by last night, 's just that I told Faith I'd let her patrol alone tonight and, well, I wanted to make sure there weren't any ultra Big Bad wannabes tryin' to snack on our daughter. Figure if she got roughed up, you'd make sure to kick my arse right an' proper. Speakin' of arse kickin's, you should've seen me the other night, pet. I was wonderful if I don't say so myself. See, there were these two Lei-ach demons. You remember 'em, don't ya? From when Glinda did that spell to conceal her demon self. Anyway, like I said, these two Lei-ach…"

As Spike wove his tale of patrolling, the doubt he had felt earlier gradually dissipated as he scooted carefully onto the bed, his right arm propping up his head while his left hand tenderly stroked the back of Buffy's hand. Soon, he had forgotten (or more to the fact, pushed out of his mind) about what Faith had said. Instead, he was intent on passing this night with Buffy just as any other night he stayed with her.

Not long after he had slid onto the bed had Spike began to doze and, several minutes after his initial head nod, the vampire was asleep, holding the limp hand of Buffy.

If he would have staved off sleep for two minutes longer, he would have felt the small fingers of the slayer tighten around his hand.

*&*

Los Angeles

May 16th, 2002

2:56 a.m.

"Angel," Cordelia yelled at the swiftly moving vampire. She hadn't been vertical five minutes before Angel had left her side, intent on gathering supplies for their short notice trek to Sunnydale. He had ignored her requests to settle down and think about things, replying over his shoulder that they didn't have time. Like he's the one with the visions, she growled internally. As much as she loved Angel, she couldn't help but be frustrated by his insufferable "This is what we're going to do" way of doing things.

"Gunn," he said as he scavenged the weapons case, "you and Fred stay here with Cordelia."

"Come again, bro?"

"Buffy needs help but not all of us. And since I don't know how long it's going to take, someone has to stay here and keep the Agency running."

"I agree on that last part my man but thinking that you're gonna be enough to help Buffy when whatever it is has Cordy being one with the Tylenols--I mean, no offense, but I don't think you're gonna be able to cut it goin' solo."

"Well, it'll have to do," he replied absently. The truth was that if what was coming was strong enough to give Cordy a major migraine despite her new hybrid self--well, he had to agree with Gunn on that assessment. Still, he would never admit that to them.

"Well, I don't like it," Gunn persisted. "I mean if…"

"You don't have to like it," Angel growled, interrupting the man. "Just do it."

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Take Charge," Cordelia interrupted, "but you're not the boss of us anymore."

"Cordy…"

"Don't 'Cordy' me. You are not our boss. Ever since you went all 'I wanna lose my soul' last year, you have worked for us or, at the very least, this has been a partnership."

"Cordy," The vampire muttered, clearly trying to reign in his temper, "we don't have time for this."

"That's where you're wrong," she replied. "We do have time and, if you would stop with the double-time march over there, you would have known that by now."

"All right, then how much time do we have?" He asked condescendingly.

"I don't know…" Cordelia started.

"Well, then, do you think we should wait until you think it's time and then head out? Do you want to take that risk?"

"I don't know exactly long we have but I do know that a few days of preparation will be a lot better than going in, guns blazing, in the middle of the night with no clue as to what's going on. Besides, Gunn is right." Cordelia's voice softened as she grabbed Angel's hand. "As good as you are, Angel, what I saw coming--you're not going to be able to do it alone. You--and Buffy--are going to need us."

"And me," a familiar voice sounded from the front of the lobby. All heads turned towards the door and saw the petite brunette, dressed in all black staring back at them.

"Faith?" Angel questioned in disbelief before striding across the room and to the slayer. "What are you doing here? Did you break out?" Faith cringed slightly at the disappointment she heard in Angel's voice but steadied herself. Bruised feelings weren't quite on the list of high priorities at the moment.

"Long story that's so not important right now. But what is important is that May Queen's right," Faith said and shot a smirk at Cordelia before returning her attention back to Angel. "As good as you are, lover, it's not gonna be enough for B. Hell, I don't even know if me and that undead boy toy of hers will be able to make a difference."

"Undead boy toy?" Angel repeated.

"Yeah, the Billy Idol wannabe. The one with the killer cheekbones." Faith bit her lip when she saw the flecks of gold dot the vampire's irises when he realized what she was talking about. "But that's not the point."

"I'll kill him if he's touched her," Angel growled.

"Listen, stud muffin," Faith said, "as much as I enjoy a guy fight, now's not the time for the bruised ego bit. We're gonna need everybody on the same team here and if you're gonna get into a pissing contest with the gorgeous undead when we get back to Sunny D, then keep your broody ass here."

Silence filled the room as the others glanced from Faith to Angel then back again. The tiny slayer folded her arms across her chest and tapped her foot impatiently. "So, what's it gonna be?" She asked Angel after a few minutes.

The vampire balled his hands into fists, relishing the pain as his nails cut into his flesh. He took several steadying breaths before addressing Faith.

"You said we have some time. How much time do we have?"

"Not long," she replied. "Not long at all. I suggest we get a move on within the next two days."

"Two days?" Gunn asked, wrapping his arms around a shivering Fred. "Why two days?"

"Well, the main course may not be here for a while yet, but that doesn't mean that there won't be appetizers while we wait."

"You saw all this?" Fred asked.

"That," Faith said and her eyes locked on Cordelia, "and a whole helluva lot more."

*&*

Sunnydale

May 16th, 2002

3:49 a.m.

Pain ripped through him as he exited the portal, his body spasming as the cool breeze assaulted his flesh. Gathering his bearings quickly, he studied his surroundings, noting that he was in some sort of warehouse. The broken windows offered no protection from the elements or prying eyes so he wandered further back into the deserted maze before he was satisfied with his current location.

Laying down behind several large boxes, the demon nestled into the concrete, the discomfort of the hard surface on his back drawing a tight smile from his lips. His Master had told him to feast, to cause havoc, but not to touch the slayers. And he would lose himself in the pain and suffering of others soon enough but for now, he would rest.

And as he fell into unconsciousness, Algolagniar shivered in anticipation of what was in store for this quaint little town when he awoke.

*&*

The scent was the first thing she noticed. Tobacco, leather and strength wafted through the air and to her nostrils, beating away the residual panic she had felt as she surfaced from the blackness of her own mind. When consciousness was within her reach, she grasped at it with all that she had, determined not to remain in the world of dreams that plagued her the last…what? --Days? Weeks? Years? To be honest, she had no idea how long she had been gone and was dreading to find out. Last time it had been a hundred and forty-seven days. To her, however, it was like an eternity and an instant rolled into one. But unlike that time, she had wanted nothing more than to return to her family. To Dawn. To Giles and the Scoobies.

To the man that was by her side.

Buffy smiled at the sleeping form of her vampire lover. He had told her he would never leave her side and here he was, adhering to a promise despite not knowing when she would awaken. Waking up with him next to her was indescribable. The part of her that was aware during the time she slept was terrified that she would wake up--cold and alone, clawing her way through mounds of dirt. A part of her, for that very reason, wanted nothing more than to remain ignorant of what reception she would receive when she opened her eyes. But she hadn't been alone. Spike was here for her, by her side. Just like he always was.

Tears trickled down Buffy's cheeks as she studied the face of the man who had fought against his nature because of his love for her. He had taken the worst she had to offer and, instead of running away, he only loved her more. Buffy bit her lip, stifling the sob that begged to be released.

I don't deserve this, she thought and gripped his hand tighter. I don't deserve what Spike has given me. I'm such a bitch--how could he love me so much after everything I did?

But he does, another voice whispered in her ear. Does it really matter if you don't feel worthy of it so long as he does? .

But I've hurt him so much…

And yet he remains by your side, true to you. And he always will. The final words spoken by a part of her that had slowly emerged the last few months quieted the slayer's doubts. The voice was right. No matter what she thought of herself or what she 'deserved', Spike's love was given to her free of conditions save for one hope. To love him unconditionally. Just as he loved her.

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Buffy leaned over to the sleeping vampire, mindful of the IVs embedded in her flesh. She smiled when he jerked slightly as her free hand cupped his cheek. The scowl that lined his face melted into a contented smile when she stroked his face and he leaned into the touch, purring as he did so.

Buffy giggled at the sound before sobering up. As much as she loved watching him sleep like this, as peaceful as he looked, Buffy wanted to look into those beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that held an unfathomable love for her. She had to see them to erase the insecurities that her own past had carved into her. Only then, watching him drink her with a glance, would she feel safe and secure.

"Spike," she whispered and stifled another laugh as her breath tickled his ear. "Baby, wake up." He mumbled tiredly before turning towards her, still asleep. Buffy would have laughed again but the slight jut of his lips caught her attention. Her tongue moistened her own automatically as she replayed the hundreds of kisses those lips had delivered to her.

Unable to resist the call, Buffy closed the distance between them and brushed a feathery kiss to Spike. Chaste at first, it didn't take long for her to want more and her demanding mouth probed his lips and, before long, he responded with equal fervor. She moaned when his hands roamed over her body and Buffy returned the favor, cupping the bulge in his pants with the roughness he liked. Their tongues battled for custody of the other and Buffy moaned his name breathlessly.

And just like that, the kiss ended.

Fully awake now, well behind other parts of him, Spike pulled back and stared at the vision before him. Yes, it had to be a vision because his Buffy was…

"Spike?" The sound of his name on her lips was unbearable and he gasped. It was a far cry from manly but, at that moment, Spike cared for nothing else save for the beautiful angel with hazel eyes that shone with love. It had been so long since he had seen those eyes--seemingly a lifetime, but they were open now. Open and hazy.

Spike shook his head, trying to clear the blurry image before him. Buffy's hand cupped his cheek before her thumb brushed away the moisture that had fallen from his eyes. He watched her in fascination, still oblivious to the tears that poured from his eyes in waves. It reminded him all too much of that first time he had seen her descend the steps after being dead for so long. But this, this was something entirely different. No matter what he told himself, loving her alone was never enough. And as much as he loved her then, nothing could compare to the feeling of knowing that she loved him just as much. That everything that was Buffy Summers was for him now. Him and him alone.

It was then that the sobs that had caught in his throat erupted.

"Shhh, baby, it's okay," Buffy whispered and peppered his face with kisses as he hugged her tight. "I'm here now, see? I'm here baby and I'm not going anywhere." Her words only made him cry harder and Buffy winced as his arms tightened around her though she said nothing. She would take any discomfort the world threw at her if it would soothe the pain inside her beautiful vampire. Her beautiful man.

It took several minutes before Spike regained control of his emotions. Slowly, as if any sudden movements would drive her away, Spike lifted his head and gazed into the teary eyes of the slayer. His slayer. Though he had been in his own world, relief and fear blocking most things out, her words of love had reached him, tethering him to this plane. Without them, he thought he may have incinerated by the heat of his emotions alone.

Spike opened his mouth to speak but only managed a hoarse whisper. His mind ceased functioning as Buffy graced him with a soft smile she rarely showed, even to Dawn. That smile made him want to confess his love and devotion to her all over again but when he finally regained the use of his voice, the words he finally spoke to her were not his first choice.

"Your eyes are all puffy." The look on her face was priceless and he would definitely tease her about it later. But now, there was nothing but her.

After the initial shock of Spike's first words, Buffy chuckled before running the back of her hand once again across the cheek of the awestruck vampire. "Looks whose talking--you made my shirt all sticky. Never knew that vampires had snot." She smirked at him at this last bit and was relieved to see the paralysis melt away. The sheer joy in his smile took her breath away and Buffy could not help but fall in love with her angel all over again.

Better not tell him that, she thought amusedly. He may get the wrong idea. No, Spike didn't need any reminder at all about the great poof. No, he needed every reassurance that she was here to stay.

"…To you." She snapped out of her thoughts in time to catch the last part. "I didn't wanna believe 'er, but I did--believe 'er I mean. She said that you'd want me 'ere, luv. She said it."

"Who, Spike?"

"Bitlet, luv. Our daughter. I think she saw you, in a slayer dream." At the mention of the latter, Buffy cringed. The dreams that invaded her mind during her coma reintegrated themselves into her now conscious mind. Not fully able to comprehend them, she pulled Spike a little tighter and burrowed her face into his chest. Spike assumed it was at the mention of their daughter's name and he stroked her back and reassured her that everything was okay.

"I know, luv. I know you wanna see Bitlet and Dawn and the others. I'll ring them right away." He moved to get up but her slayer strength kept him bolted to her side. "Luv, what's wrong?" He asked and lifted her chin up with his finger. Her eyes had once again filled with tears and Spike frowned at the display. He shrugged it off immediately, assuming she was so happy to see her friends again.

"Don't go," she murmured and her hands pulled him even closer, if that were possible.

"I'm not goin' anywhere, luv. I was just gonna call the Scoobies.

"No," she said and ran her fingers through his hair. "Not…not yet. I--I just want to have you to myself for a little while. I want you to hold me. Will you hold me?" she asked and he almost withered at the fear in her tone.

Nodding to her, Spike pulled his tiny slayer closer, burying his face in her hair that, somehow still smelled of vanilla and spices. He smiled when she kicked the covers off and snaked her leg between his.

He listened to each beat of her heart, each breath that she drew as it all started to even out. But before she succumbed to sleep, Buffy whispered to Spike, "Love me forever?"

Spike nuzzled her hair and closed her eyes. How could he tell her that, no matter what, he would always love her? That no one else would ever have his heart like she did? There was so much he wanted to tell her but now was not the time. As much as he wanted to write sonnets about his love for her, as much as he wanted to tell her he loved her in every language known to man and demon alike, he also knew that sometimes, the simplest of answers were often the most poignant. Armed with that knowledge, Spike whispered to her just how long he would love her.

"Till the end of the world, luv. Till the end of the world."

TBC…