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I've never edited a chapter more then the one you're about to read. I also haven't ever written a chapter as long as this one. It's just shy of 2000 words, whereas most of the ones before this one are around 1200. Anyway, enjoy chapter 12!

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After brushing my teeth, I found myself in front of Aerieth's house again. Red XIII wasn't at the porch any more, so I figured he must have finally been invited inside to talk with Barrett. I walked onto the porch and put my hand up to knock on the door, but stopped my hand in mid-air. "I still don't know who I care for more…they both mean the world to me…" I muttered to myself. "Heh…I still don't even know what I'm going to say to Tifa…" My hand still lay suspended in mid-air as I tried to quickly contemplate what I would say to her. It was simply too early for me to know anything.

That's it! It's too early to tell! I've finally made up my mind. I've officially decided that it's too early to know who I care for more.

So…doesn't that basically mean that I've gotten nowhere?

Yet, apparently it was good enough for my hand to finally knock on the door.

I listened and heard nothing at first. Then I heard the heavy slow steps of Barrett walk towards the door. He swung it open. He was in a white t-shirt and he still hadn't shaven, but other then that he was the same old Barrett. "Cloud! Where you been man? You missed breakfast!" "Yah…I know."

He moved aside to let me in and I saw Ms. Gainsborough washing dishes. She was positively beaming. Even for an old lady such as herself, she looked like she was glowing. I guess that meant that she had heard the news. Red XIII was licking his paw in the corner, and Tifa was nowhere to be found. I also noticed that a stale odor was in the air. I knew this smell all too well. I had had to deal with it throughout the war. "Hey Barrett," I said, "Did you just get up or something? You stink. Take a shower already." Barrett leaned his head down and smelled his armpit. It was obvious by his face that he also knew he smelled horrible, but instead he said, "I don't know what the $#% you're talking about…" I laughed, and I saw Red XIII smile.

Ms. Gainsborough asked if I wanted an omelet to eat. I said thanks but that I had already eaten. She nodded, finished wiping down one of the pans, and then walked upstairs, humming to herself. "Ahhh…." I heard Red XIII say. "It's good to be able to talk without unwanted ears nearby." He must have been talking about Ms. Gainsborough. "Hey, she's not so bad," Barrett interrupted. "She's a good woman. She don't never complain…in fact…she doesn't ever really say hardly anything, come to think of it." Barrett laughed a little, but neither Red XIII nor I got the joke, so he stopped laughing quickly. He then turned toward me. "So Cloud…umm…what do you think of the good news?" I didn't really know what to say right then. I decided that the truth was probably the best answer, but I kept it as vague as possible. "I have mixed feelings," I said. "Yah, I figured you would, Cloud." Barrett said. "But don't think you're the only one who's in a strange spot right now. Tifa is too, and I think you know why." "Yah…yah I know," I said, lowering my head to look at my hands; anything to avoid Barrett's gaze.

"I don't know what to say, Cloud," Barrett continued. "I've always wanted the best for Tifa, so I think you know what I want you to do. I said it yesterday and I'm gonna say it again. She loves you Cloud. She loves you like all of Hell." I sighed, still avoiding his gaze. "Yah I know. I'm definitely in an interesting spot. They both mean the world to me…in all honesty I don't know who I care for more…"

None of us knew it but Tifa had started walking down the steps…

Red XIII chimed in next saying, "Well I know it's difficult for you Cloud, but you really just have to ask yourself, do you love her?"

Tifa suddenly became aware of our conversation and hid, but still listened…

"Do I love Tifa?" I paused, thinking of just how to say what my feelings were.

I wished I had never answered the way I did.

"Love is a strong word…" I said, trying to portray how confused my emotions were at the time.

Suddenly all three of us heard the hard, fast footsteps of someone going up the stairs. We all knew instantly who it must have been. "Ah %$#...Tifa was listening to us," I said. I stood up and went upstairs. Barrett didn't move from his spot, but Red XIII decided to follow me. We both moved silently up the steps to Tifa's room. I didn't bother knocking. I went right for the doorknob…only to find that this time it was locked. I put my ear to the door trying to hear what was going on inside. I was surprised to hear nothing, but I knew she was in there so I tried to do my best to reconcile to her. "Tifa…I…" I remember seeing the door suddenly swing open, seeing Tifa, then seeing a hard fist heading for my face, and then black. A whole lot of black.

According to Red XIII I didn't wake up for about five minutes. When I finally did I was sprawled on the floor in front of Tifa's door. I still heard nothing going on inside. It was then that I felt my face. I was bleeding from my nose but not too badly, and my eye hurt badly. It was already swelling. Red XIII was standing over me nudging me. "Are you awake Cloud?" "Ungh…" I said. I knew at the very least I would have one heck of a black eye by tomorrow. "Heh. You got your spiky ass handed to you on a silver platter that time didn't you Cloud?" I heard Barrett say. I looked around for him from my good eye and saw him standing behind me. He lifted me up onto my feat. "Heh, Sephiroth never hit me that hard," I said, but I wasn't thinking about Sephiroth right then.

At that moment, all I really wanted to do was talk to Tifa and explain myself to her. I didn't care anymore about hiding my feelings. I only cared that she knew the truth about my feelings, no matter how hard. "Let go of me," I said to Barrett and he released me. I stumbled forward, still woozy from Tifa's left hook, but I regained my balance and I moved to try and open Tifa's door. It was locked again. "Damn it," I said under my breath. Faced with no other choice, I spoke to Tifa's door, hoping that she was listening. "Tifa, I'm sorry about what I said down in the living room. It's just that, I don't know how I feel. You and Aerieth mean more to me then the world. You both do. So how can I decide who I care for more? Who I…love, more? You know, it's funny. I never really had parents. Technically my only parent was Sephiroth, and you know what a loving father he turned out to be…I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I really don't know what love is like. I had no experience with it growing up, so I really don't know when the people I care for suddenly become the people I love. It's such a strong word for someone like me…that's all."

I waited for a reply, but still heard nothing. I looked down to Red XIII and then Barrett. Neither made any movement at all. With that I turned back to the expressionless, faceless door in front of me. "Tifa…I'm sorry…again. I really am." With that I moved downstairs, Barrett and Red XIII following me.

I went to the front door and opened it, feeling more depressed and lonely then I think I had ever felt. "Where are you going, Cloud?" Barrett asked. "I'm going to my apartment," I replied. "I'm going to patch up this swollen eye and then hit the sack. I'll see you guys tomorrow." Red XIII walked in front of Barrett. He then said, "I'll see you here at ten o'clock tomorrow Cloud. Get some rest, because that's when we ship out to go stop Jenova. I'll call everyone on the PHS to make sure that they're all here on time." I nodded and then closed the door behind me.

Even though it was a bright spring morning, right then it felt like a dark rainy day in winter.

The next day I approached Aerieth's house with a feeling of trepidation. Would I see Tifa? Would she want to talk to me? I walked up to the porch and saw Red XIII sitting there waiting for me. I walked up to him and asked, "Hey Red XIII. Um…I thought you said everyone would be here. Are they inside?" "No," he replied. "Everyone is on Highwind." "Wow. You managed to get Cid to come after all. How'd you do it? Usually that guy doesn't give a flying flip about anything but himself." "True," he said. "But he also has friends in need right now." I didn't reply to that.

"Come on Cloud, Highwind is outside the city. I'll show you where it is," Red XIII said as he jumped from his sitting position and trotted off. I had to run just to keep up with him.

As promised, everyone was there. Cid was the first one to greet me with his usual array of curse words and expletives. Yuffie was there too. She ran up and hugged me. "Cloud! It's so good to see you again!" "It's good to see you too Yuffie. Now would you mind getting your hands off of the materia in my pocket?" Yuffie's face turned red and she dropped the three materia that she had managed to grab off me. Cait Sith was there too. "Where have you been, Cait Sith?" I asked him sarcastically. He laughed and said, "Where have I been? Where have you been?" "Around," I said. "Same here," he said. I greeted Barrett, but then noticed that Tifa and Vincent were missing. I didn't ask about Tifa, but I did hear myself say, "Where's Vincent?" Cid spoke kind of suddenly. "Uh…we couldn't get a hold of that %$& vampire. He's probably still &$% asleep in that damn %#& hole of his."

At that point, everyone grew kind of quiet. I was familiar with this. It was time for the leader to give a good impassioned speech.

Damn it. Why is it always me that has to do this?

"Well guys, I'm glad to see you all here. What's more is that I'm glad you came because Tifa and I—err… (I paused as I thought of her)…had some crazy dreams. Thanks to Red XIII we believe these dreams to mean that Jenova is back and trying to resurrect Sephiroth. Well, we're gonna go down there and make sure that doesn't happen. This time, Jenova burns." I heard a 'Yee-haw!' from Cid. Everyone got real quiet and turned to give him funny looks. Yuffie said, "I can't believe you just did that…" Cid lowered his head and said, "You're all just a bunch of &$ ass-holes. Who cares if I sometimes talk like a damn cowboy?" We all laughed at this. Again it grew quiet, and I saw everyone's eyes on me. I didn't really know what to say. I figured they probably already knew about the Aerieth/Tifa situation I was in, so I didn't mention that. Instead, I finished my short speech by saying simply, "Let's go guys."