Disclaimer: The song "I Feel Good!" belongs to James Brown. Draco Malfoy belongs to Sam Collins. Oops, we meant to say J. K. Rowling.

A/N: You all need to give Liz a big virtual hug as she got my fringe in a really weird way (miscommunication issues) and now it either sticks straight up. On top of the bushy hair, it's not nice. That, and she's giving up exam study time to co-write this just because she loves you all VERY VERY MUCH. She will now shut up so Morag will stop telling her she is pathetic.

I'm a Ferret!

            As the lights come up again (Hermione had been kicked into the stage's decorative feature), the backs of three boys in leather jackets bearing the image of a ferret embroidered on the back of them are visible. Two, on either side of the middle one, are huge, wide, and… well… trollish. The one in the middle is short, skinny, and has white-blonde hair. All are wearing Wrap-around sunglasses and Blues Brothers style hats. As they turn around in a super-cool way, the two on either side are revealed to be Crabbe with a smooth black guitar and Goyle with a killer gold saxophone, they strike up the loud and dramatic opening chords of James Brown's "I Feel Good!" Taking a pose and gripping his mike, Draco Malfoy began to sing.

"Whoa-oa-oa!
I'm a ferret!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Bouncier than a carrot!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
I'm a ferret!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Bouncier than a carrot!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
So furry!

Doo-doo
Don't worry!
I'm a ferret!

 
I'm in trouble!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Moody's made my pride rubble!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
I'm in trouble!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Moody's made my pride rubble!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

Once cool!

Doo-doo
It's cruel!
I'm in trouble!


Everybody laughed at me

For I was slamming off walls
Everybody laughed at me
Oh why did they have to see?


I'm a ferret!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Bouncier than a carrot!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
I'm a ferret!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
Bouncier than a carrot!

Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
So furry!

Doo-doo
Don't worry!

Doo-doo
I'm a ferret!

Yeah!!"

            Caught up in the dramatics of the ending saxophone playing, Malfoy ended with a dramatic knee slide… directly into the stage's artistic feature. Crabbe and Goyle blinked stupidly for a moment, the lumbered off the stage, grunting to each other unintelligibly.