Hello
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you
Someone to talk to
Hello
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
And that's all that's left of yesterday
-Evanescence
Draco left Ginevra crying in the empty classroom, alone and miserable. He knew he was responsible for causing the only woman he had ever loved more pain than she had ever experienced before. Draco had broken Ginny's heart after she had opened herself up to him; again, he had embraced this opportunity to drive the stake further into her already broken heart. As he walked away, he pleaded with himself in an attempt to guarantee that he was doing the right thing, 'If I love her as much as I know I do, then it has to be this way.'
But Draco's body refused to respond to his inward pleas. His eyes begged to see her beautiful smile, his lips yearned for her passionate kiss, and his heart longed to hear her utter "I love you." His body craved the feel of her bare skin next to his, but most of all, his soul ached to feel the connection that bound them to one another.
After returning to his room, Draco flung himself to bed and tried to sleep. However, he stayed awake, trying to validate the reasons for lying to Ginny. 'How could I have told her that I never loved her? She could not have believed that I was only with her for sex...she just can't. Even if this is all over at some point, we can never be together. She will never trust me again; I've hurt her too much by lying too many times.'
"Why did I lie to her to protect her? We could have just gone to Dumbledore and gotten his help. Why did I have to be the hero?" Draco yelled aloud in frustration.
'Because you saved her once, and you thought that you could save her again,' a small voice in his head answered.
"I promised I would never let her get hurt again, and I destroyed her." Draco continued to talk to himself out loud.
'She would have experienced a far more severe fate had you not broken things off.'
"Death would have been far less painful than what she is going through right now."
'Death would have taken her from you forever; at least you still have a chance to be together one day.'
"Oh Merlin, what have I done? I've dumped the only girl I love and broke her heart. I lied to her when she trusted me, I let Lucius control me, and worst of all I have surrendered my fate to the hands of Lord Voldemort!" Draco sat up, and hung his head in anguish. He had tried to please too many people and had failed miserably. Moreover, he could not deny that his attempt to be a noble, good-hearted person made everyone else consider him a jerk. He was the idiot who had found someone who loved him and threw her away as if she were the most insignificant thing in the world.
Draco lay back on his bed staring at the blank ceiling. All of this arguing with himself had given him a headache; he massaged his temples and contemplated his options. "If I tell Ginevra the truth, I know that she will put herself in danger. Merlin knows that Lucius will follow through on his threat," Draco said aloud, trying to make sense of things. "But if I don't join the Deatheaters, Lucius will kill me for certain. This is the only way that won't result in one of us being murdered." Draco finally decided on this course of action as Lucius entered his room.
"Good decision boy," Lucius interrupted, "I knew that you had a good head on your shoulders, once it was on straight," he finished sarcastically. Draco sent him a deadly glare, highly annoyed at his father uncanny ability to interrupt him at inopportune moments.
"You know why I am here, now get up off your ass and put something respectable on. You will be initiated by Master in an hour," Lucius ordered, pronouncing 'Master' as if it were the name of a god so high that it was an honour just to speak of him.
Draco continued to glare at him, willing him to explode and be removed form his life forever. Instead, he sighed and got up. Draco had been dreading this moment the entire night. It was time for him to surrender everything good in his life and adopt a life of evil and corruption. He was to be branded with the dark mark forever, and swear his allegiance to that thing, the most malicious and evil wizard that the magical world had ever witnessed. As Draco followed Lucius out, he promised himself that he was giving up everything he had ever believed in to protect his one true love, Ginevra Weasley.
"Come boy!" Lucius commanded Draco as if he were a dog, when they arrived in front of a tall, black door made of mahogany. The stone walls and floor were a cold, uninviting black. As Draco gazed about him, he saw that the walls were decorated with portraits of every Death Eater from the past and present. He shivered involuntarily at this creepy collection of the most evil witches and wizards ever known to the magical world.
Draco did not know their location, but he was certain that it must be the Voldemort's headquarters. The air was stiff and cold; and Draco shivered again, this time with terror. As Lucius rapped on the door in front of them, the sound echoed for several moments in the long, empty corridors. With each echo that returned, Draco realized with a shock that he was going to be initiated in a matter of minutes.
But the initiation did not come as quickly as Draco thought it would. After an eternity of waiting, the door finally opened to reveal a room full of people dressed in thick black cloaks. Hoods covered their heads, and their faces were hidden by unidentifiable black masks. They were stood in a half circle with their backs facing the door. When they heard Draco and Lucius enter, they separated and revealed a pathway that lead to a stone platform at the front of the room; Voldemort himself sat in a tall, black, wooden chair on this stone dais.
The room was dark with the exception of a few large candles spread throughout, which gave everyone in it a sinister glow. Draco could distinguish little with this poor light, but realized that this was to prepare for a possible attack. With their situation and low light, they could scatter before being caught.
"Come Malfoy..." Voldemort hissed at Draco, eyeing the man who would soon become his newest supporter.
Draco hesitated for moment before realizing that it was too late for him to back out now. He slowly edged forward after Lucius, taking careful steps and avoiding any mistake that would have him tortured by Lucius later on. When they approached the platform, Lucius knelt to the ground and bowed to his master. Draco immediately followed suit, and they rose when Voldemort stood.
"It is time, young Malfoy," Voldemort stated, knowing he need not explain the suffering that was to follow.
Draco returned to Hogwart's late that night, broken, terrified, and in agony. Never had he experienced such torture in all his life; even the merciless beatings and Cruciatus curses from his father for all those years could never have prepared him for the physical pain he had just endured.
'What have I done?" Draco screamed in his mind. "Why didn't I just go to Dumbledore? I never wanted it to come to this!' He sat in an armchair in the Slytherin common room, holding his head in his hands and openly weeping for the first time in his life.
Draco realized now that he had destroyed his life, and had nothing left to lose. He had hit rock bottom that night, and he could fall no further into despair. He also knew that he must tell Ginny the truth if he wanted to turn his life around. He had found Ginny in this horrible state many weeks ago and had saved her. Now he would give her the chance to do the same for him, if she would ever forgive him. 'I can't live this lie anymore," Draco thought with determination. "It's destroyed my life and Ginevra's. I have to stop this before it can go any further.'
Draco had stayed up all night running possible scenarios through his head. He wanted to come clean with Ginny immediately and begin to rebuild his life with her, but he knew this would be the most difficult ordeal he had ever be subjected to. But he was willing to go through it all to get her back.
Draco stood outside the doors of the Great Hall waiting for Ginevra to come down for breakfast that morning. While he waited, he went through precisely what he wanted to say in his mind. But when he saw the beautiful redhead coming towards him, it was all forgotten.
'Oh Merlin, there she is. Please someone help me, I can't do this...' Draco thought anxiously. You don't need help Draco; she loves you, that's all the help you need, the ever-present voice within reassured him.
Ginny reached the doors where Draco was standing and walked right past him, ignoring his presence. Draco reached out and grabbed her arm before she had a chance to enter the hall. "Ginevra...I'm...I'm sorry!" Draco blurted out sincerely.
Ginny turned to look at him with tears welling up in her already swollen eyes. Draco knew that she had been crying again, and felt a lump in his throat as he mentally accused himself for it. "Please Ginevra, I need you. I need to tell you everything," Draco said, looking into her eyes.
Ginny simply nodded, and Draco led her to the empty classroom where they had spoken the previous day. When Draco closed the door, he slowly moved toward Ginny. She shrank away from him, but he pulled her close and embraced her tightly. She cried into his chest as Draco kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry Ginevra, I never meant for any of this to happen. I did not mean any of the things I said to you yesterday. I really do love you, and I need you. I have messed everything up horribly and I know that you don't want to hear it, but I have to be honest with you." He said all of this quickly before she could interrupt.
Ginny pulled away from him slightly to look him in the eyes; she could see he was finally being honest with her and waited for him to continue.
"I don't know where to start," Draco said, overwhelmed by the situation. "Well I guess the beginning is the best place. It all started that night when you ran from Dumbledore's office to the Astronomy Tower; I searched everywhere for you, and I couldn't find you. When I went back to my room, Lucius was waiting for me. He threatened to kill you if I kept seeing you. So the next morning, when I found you in the Astronomy Tower, I broke up with you because I was trying to protect you." Draco paused for a moment, waiting for Ginevra to say something.
Ginny did not say a word, but continued to watch Draco, wanting to hear the rest of his story. She wanted to listen to his side before deciding whether she believed him, or even if she did believe him, if she would forgive him.
After several moments of silence, Draco continued. "Then, when I left the Astronomy Tower, Lucius was waiting for me in the corridor, and had heard everything that had happened between us. He threatened to kill you if I didn't join the Deatheaters, so I promised that I would. Yesterday, when you asked me if I loved you, I lied to you because I knew that you would be in danger if I told you the truth, and I couldn't let that happen. I really am sorry Ginevra, I didn't want to lie to you but at the time I didn't think there was any other way. I love you more than anything in the world, and I would do anything just to be with you again." Draco finished apologetically.
"That's fine Draco, but you did hurt me yesterday," Ginny said painfully. "Not only did it hurt when you lied and said that you didn't love me, but it hurt me even more when you told me that we were nothing but great sex."
"Oh, Ginevra! I...I..." he stammered, lost for words. "You know that I did not mean that; you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would be completely lost without you." Ginny smirked at his romantic tone and words, before he continued, "Well, we definitely had great sex, but that wasn't all we had," and his grin ruined the mood he had created.
Ginny glared at him, and Draco thought it best to continue. "Well last night, I was thinking about how I had lost everything, you most of all; I was worried that I had hurt you so badly that you would never forgive me. Then, Lucius showed up and told me that it was time for my initiation to the Death Eaters. Since I was so depressed, I felt like there was nothing to keep me from doing it. So, I went with him to Voldemort's headquarters, and I was given the dark mark." Draco lifted the left sleeve of his robe to show Ginevra the mark, as physical proof that he was telling the truth.
"Oh Draco, what have you done?" Ginny asked with concern, brushing her fingers over the dark mark.
"I don't know; that's why I needed to talk to you!" Draco said, feeling the tears building up again. "When I got back last night that's all I could think about how I have destroyed my life, and...I...Ginevra, all I can say is that I'm truly sorry. I know that doesn't seem like an adequate apology for all the pain I have caused you, but that's the best I can do. I love you, and I don't know where else to go for help. Please forgive me; I need you, I need you to save me from all of this." Draco held Ginny's hands, desperate for her to understand why he had done all those things.
Ginny looked straight into Draco's eyes and saw the pain and remorse he held deep within him. She knew that he was being truthful, and realized that he needed her help more than she had ever needed his. She felt overwhelmed, knowing that he had put himself in an extremely dangerous and destructive situation by joining the Death Eaters. The solution to Draco's problems would not be solved by simply being with her and holding her close. More than one life was at stake, and Ginny was powerless to do anything effective. However, she knew for certain was that she loved Draco, and she could fix one thing in his life; she could show him that she loved him, and tell him that everything was going to be all right.
After quickly thinking the situation over in her mead, Ginny placed her arms around Draco's neck and pulled him down to kiss him passionately. She pulled away slightly to catch her breath as she muttered with all her strength, "I love you Draco; don't ever do that to me again!"
Draco simply responded by pressing his body against hers and kissing her like there would be no tomorrow. Suddenly, the door slammed open, causing the couple to jump apart. For one of these two lovers, there might not be a tomorrow.
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you
Someone to talk to
Hello
If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
And that's all that's left of yesterday
-Evanescence
Draco left Ginevra crying in the empty classroom, alone and miserable. He knew he was responsible for causing the only woman he had ever loved more pain than she had ever experienced before. Draco had broken Ginny's heart after she had opened herself up to him; again, he had embraced this opportunity to drive the stake further into her already broken heart. As he walked away, he pleaded with himself in an attempt to guarantee that he was doing the right thing, 'If I love her as much as I know I do, then it has to be this way.'
But Draco's body refused to respond to his inward pleas. His eyes begged to see her beautiful smile, his lips yearned for her passionate kiss, and his heart longed to hear her utter "I love you." His body craved the feel of her bare skin next to his, but most of all, his soul ached to feel the connection that bound them to one another.
After returning to his room, Draco flung himself to bed and tried to sleep. However, he stayed awake, trying to validate the reasons for lying to Ginny. 'How could I have told her that I never loved her? She could not have believed that I was only with her for sex...she just can't. Even if this is all over at some point, we can never be together. She will never trust me again; I've hurt her too much by lying too many times.'
"Why did I lie to her to protect her? We could have just gone to Dumbledore and gotten his help. Why did I have to be the hero?" Draco yelled aloud in frustration.
'Because you saved her once, and you thought that you could save her again,' a small voice in his head answered.
"I promised I would never let her get hurt again, and I destroyed her." Draco continued to talk to himself out loud.
'She would have experienced a far more severe fate had you not broken things off.'
"Death would have been far less painful than what she is going through right now."
'Death would have taken her from you forever; at least you still have a chance to be together one day.'
"Oh Merlin, what have I done? I've dumped the only girl I love and broke her heart. I lied to her when she trusted me, I let Lucius control me, and worst of all I have surrendered my fate to the hands of Lord Voldemort!" Draco sat up, and hung his head in anguish. He had tried to please too many people and had failed miserably. Moreover, he could not deny that his attempt to be a noble, good-hearted person made everyone else consider him a jerk. He was the idiot who had found someone who loved him and threw her away as if she were the most insignificant thing in the world.
Draco lay back on his bed staring at the blank ceiling. All of this arguing with himself had given him a headache; he massaged his temples and contemplated his options. "If I tell Ginevra the truth, I know that she will put herself in danger. Merlin knows that Lucius will follow through on his threat," Draco said aloud, trying to make sense of things. "But if I don't join the Deatheaters, Lucius will kill me for certain. This is the only way that won't result in one of us being murdered." Draco finally decided on this course of action as Lucius entered his room.
"Good decision boy," Lucius interrupted, "I knew that you had a good head on your shoulders, once it was on straight," he finished sarcastically. Draco sent him a deadly glare, highly annoyed at his father uncanny ability to interrupt him at inopportune moments.
"You know why I am here, now get up off your ass and put something respectable on. You will be initiated by Master in an hour," Lucius ordered, pronouncing 'Master' as if it were the name of a god so high that it was an honour just to speak of him.
Draco continued to glare at him, willing him to explode and be removed form his life forever. Instead, he sighed and got up. Draco had been dreading this moment the entire night. It was time for him to surrender everything good in his life and adopt a life of evil and corruption. He was to be branded with the dark mark forever, and swear his allegiance to that thing, the most malicious and evil wizard that the magical world had ever witnessed. As Draco followed Lucius out, he promised himself that he was giving up everything he had ever believed in to protect his one true love, Ginevra Weasley.
"Come boy!" Lucius commanded Draco as if he were a dog, when they arrived in front of a tall, black door made of mahogany. The stone walls and floor were a cold, uninviting black. As Draco gazed about him, he saw that the walls were decorated with portraits of every Death Eater from the past and present. He shivered involuntarily at this creepy collection of the most evil witches and wizards ever known to the magical world.
Draco did not know their location, but he was certain that it must be the Voldemort's headquarters. The air was stiff and cold; and Draco shivered again, this time with terror. As Lucius rapped on the door in front of them, the sound echoed for several moments in the long, empty corridors. With each echo that returned, Draco realized with a shock that he was going to be initiated in a matter of minutes.
But the initiation did not come as quickly as Draco thought it would. After an eternity of waiting, the door finally opened to reveal a room full of people dressed in thick black cloaks. Hoods covered their heads, and their faces were hidden by unidentifiable black masks. They were stood in a half circle with their backs facing the door. When they heard Draco and Lucius enter, they separated and revealed a pathway that lead to a stone platform at the front of the room; Voldemort himself sat in a tall, black, wooden chair on this stone dais.
The room was dark with the exception of a few large candles spread throughout, which gave everyone in it a sinister glow. Draco could distinguish little with this poor light, but realized that this was to prepare for a possible attack. With their situation and low light, they could scatter before being caught.
"Come Malfoy..." Voldemort hissed at Draco, eyeing the man who would soon become his newest supporter.
Draco hesitated for moment before realizing that it was too late for him to back out now. He slowly edged forward after Lucius, taking careful steps and avoiding any mistake that would have him tortured by Lucius later on. When they approached the platform, Lucius knelt to the ground and bowed to his master. Draco immediately followed suit, and they rose when Voldemort stood.
"It is time, young Malfoy," Voldemort stated, knowing he need not explain the suffering that was to follow.
Draco returned to Hogwart's late that night, broken, terrified, and in agony. Never had he experienced such torture in all his life; even the merciless beatings and Cruciatus curses from his father for all those years could never have prepared him for the physical pain he had just endured.
'What have I done?" Draco screamed in his mind. "Why didn't I just go to Dumbledore? I never wanted it to come to this!' He sat in an armchair in the Slytherin common room, holding his head in his hands and openly weeping for the first time in his life.
Draco realized now that he had destroyed his life, and had nothing left to lose. He had hit rock bottom that night, and he could fall no further into despair. He also knew that he must tell Ginny the truth if he wanted to turn his life around. He had found Ginny in this horrible state many weeks ago and had saved her. Now he would give her the chance to do the same for him, if she would ever forgive him. 'I can't live this lie anymore," Draco thought with determination. "It's destroyed my life and Ginevra's. I have to stop this before it can go any further.'
Draco had stayed up all night running possible scenarios through his head. He wanted to come clean with Ginny immediately and begin to rebuild his life with her, but he knew this would be the most difficult ordeal he had ever be subjected to. But he was willing to go through it all to get her back.
Draco stood outside the doors of the Great Hall waiting for Ginevra to come down for breakfast that morning. While he waited, he went through precisely what he wanted to say in his mind. But when he saw the beautiful redhead coming towards him, it was all forgotten.
'Oh Merlin, there she is. Please someone help me, I can't do this...' Draco thought anxiously. You don't need help Draco; she loves you, that's all the help you need, the ever-present voice within reassured him.
Ginny reached the doors where Draco was standing and walked right past him, ignoring his presence. Draco reached out and grabbed her arm before she had a chance to enter the hall. "Ginevra...I'm...I'm sorry!" Draco blurted out sincerely.
Ginny turned to look at him with tears welling up in her already swollen eyes. Draco knew that she had been crying again, and felt a lump in his throat as he mentally accused himself for it. "Please Ginevra, I need you. I need to tell you everything," Draco said, looking into her eyes.
Ginny simply nodded, and Draco led her to the empty classroom where they had spoken the previous day. When Draco closed the door, he slowly moved toward Ginny. She shrank away from him, but he pulled her close and embraced her tightly. She cried into his chest as Draco kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry Ginevra, I never meant for any of this to happen. I did not mean any of the things I said to you yesterday. I really do love you, and I need you. I have messed everything up horribly and I know that you don't want to hear it, but I have to be honest with you." He said all of this quickly before she could interrupt.
Ginny pulled away from him slightly to look him in the eyes; she could see he was finally being honest with her and waited for him to continue.
"I don't know where to start," Draco said, overwhelmed by the situation. "Well I guess the beginning is the best place. It all started that night when you ran from Dumbledore's office to the Astronomy Tower; I searched everywhere for you, and I couldn't find you. When I went back to my room, Lucius was waiting for me. He threatened to kill you if I kept seeing you. So the next morning, when I found you in the Astronomy Tower, I broke up with you because I was trying to protect you." Draco paused for a moment, waiting for Ginevra to say something.
Ginny did not say a word, but continued to watch Draco, wanting to hear the rest of his story. She wanted to listen to his side before deciding whether she believed him, or even if she did believe him, if she would forgive him.
After several moments of silence, Draco continued. "Then, when I left the Astronomy Tower, Lucius was waiting for me in the corridor, and had heard everything that had happened between us. He threatened to kill you if I didn't join the Deatheaters, so I promised that I would. Yesterday, when you asked me if I loved you, I lied to you because I knew that you would be in danger if I told you the truth, and I couldn't let that happen. I really am sorry Ginevra, I didn't want to lie to you but at the time I didn't think there was any other way. I love you more than anything in the world, and I would do anything just to be with you again." Draco finished apologetically.
"That's fine Draco, but you did hurt me yesterday," Ginny said painfully. "Not only did it hurt when you lied and said that you didn't love me, but it hurt me even more when you told me that we were nothing but great sex."
"Oh, Ginevra! I...I..." he stammered, lost for words. "You know that I did not mean that; you are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would be completely lost without you." Ginny smirked at his romantic tone and words, before he continued, "Well, we definitely had great sex, but that wasn't all we had," and his grin ruined the mood he had created.
Ginny glared at him, and Draco thought it best to continue. "Well last night, I was thinking about how I had lost everything, you most of all; I was worried that I had hurt you so badly that you would never forgive me. Then, Lucius showed up and told me that it was time for my initiation to the Death Eaters. Since I was so depressed, I felt like there was nothing to keep me from doing it. So, I went with him to Voldemort's headquarters, and I was given the dark mark." Draco lifted the left sleeve of his robe to show Ginevra the mark, as physical proof that he was telling the truth.
"Oh Draco, what have you done?" Ginny asked with concern, brushing her fingers over the dark mark.
"I don't know; that's why I needed to talk to you!" Draco said, feeling the tears building up again. "When I got back last night that's all I could think about how I have destroyed my life, and...I...Ginevra, all I can say is that I'm truly sorry. I know that doesn't seem like an adequate apology for all the pain I have caused you, but that's the best I can do. I love you, and I don't know where else to go for help. Please forgive me; I need you, I need you to save me from all of this." Draco held Ginny's hands, desperate for her to understand why he had done all those things.
Ginny looked straight into Draco's eyes and saw the pain and remorse he held deep within him. She knew that he was being truthful, and realized that he needed her help more than she had ever needed his. She felt overwhelmed, knowing that he had put himself in an extremely dangerous and destructive situation by joining the Death Eaters. The solution to Draco's problems would not be solved by simply being with her and holding her close. More than one life was at stake, and Ginny was powerless to do anything effective. However, she knew for certain was that she loved Draco, and she could fix one thing in his life; she could show him that she loved him, and tell him that everything was going to be all right.
After quickly thinking the situation over in her mead, Ginny placed her arms around Draco's neck and pulled him down to kiss him passionately. She pulled away slightly to catch her breath as she muttered with all her strength, "I love you Draco; don't ever do that to me again!"
Draco simply responded by pressing his body against hers and kissing her like there would be no tomorrow. Suddenly, the door slammed open, causing the couple to jump apart. For one of these two lovers, there might not be a tomorrow.