Part 4 Talking it over Part 2

Ross folded the letter up, feeling shaken. Was she right? Was that what the pattern of their lives meant? They weren't meant to be apart? Was that why he'd said her name? They had shared so much together in the recent years and they knew so much about each other. Yet wouldn't they find it easier to stay together if it was meant to be?

He and Emily did not have that history, yet being with her felt effortless. The feeling he had had that no woman matched up to Rachel was gone. It wasn't so much that they were the same – they were not – but the differences between Emily and Rachel were not things that made him wish that Emily was different. He hadn't felt the need to make any comparison at all. Their relationship had seemed like destiny, one that would create history, except now it was ruined

Or was it? Emily was still talking to him. True, because he had been smashed up by a minivan but she was there. But if Emily loved him and Rachel loved him, which one of them did he love? And if he loved both then which was The One?

Suddenly Ross noticed that Emily had returned to the room.

Did you have a good talk?' she asked, taking the chair Joey had just vacated.

I was going to tell you before Joey got here. Susan's been offered a job in London.'

You've been talking to Susan?' Ross said, feeling a sudden stab of jealousy. That took care of his uncertainty. Of course Emily was straight but he didn't like the idea of anyone moving in on her. Not that Susan had but of course she'd moved in on Carol so it wasn't as though it was unprecedented. When did you talk to Susan?' he demanded.

Just yesterday,' Emily said.

You mean she's still in London?' How much was Emily seeing of her?

No, she's back in New York with Carol and Ben, but she's been talking to these people on the phone. She thought that if she took that job, and Carol and Ben came here, then it would be easy for you to come live here. Normally it would be impossible for her to accept because Carol wouldn't want to take Ben from you but she thought it might work out if you were wanting to stay here anyway.' Ross didn't want to be grateful to Susan for anything but he could see the generosity of this plan – if he wanted to go.

I thought we were living in New York,' he said.

Yes, but don't you see how difficult it will be for me now? Rachel wants you back and your friends like her better than me. They all blame me for what happened.'

I'm not going to let them blame you,' Ross said. They do like you and they'll like you more when they see how happy we are.'

And Rachel?'

I asked you to marry me Emily. I could have asked her at any time if I'd wanted to,' Ross said, And as for Rachel, she'll find someone else. It's not like she can't get a date.' Just as soon as she gets rid of this idea that she's in love with me, Ross added to himself. Now he wondered about her split with Joshua – had she brought this on herself. You don't need to be afraid to live in New York.' They were silent for a while.

Will you really be happy?' Emily asked.

Oh yes, Emily. You're the one I want.' She moved her chair closer to the bed and leaned over so that her head rested beside his. They gazed at each other. Yes you are,' he said, stroking the side of her face with the hand that wasn't connected up to drips and monitors.

A nurse came in to do some observations and Emily moved her chair back while she did so. When she'd left Ross looked back at Emily who was looking troubled.

What is it?'

Then he saw that Emily had noticed the letter.

Her face fell. I thought Joey would bring you something from Rachel. He hates me,' Emily said.

He doesn't.'

They all hate me,' Emily said. Well Monica and Chandler are just acting oddly. When they've finished they'll hate me too.' Ross allowed this idea of Monica and Chandler acting oddly pass for the time being.

I love you,' Ross said, That cancels out everything.' Emily's eyes moved to the letter.

Does that change anything?' Emily asked quietly.

No.' They sat in silence and Ross felt it coming between them. No, and I'll prove it to you. You read it.'

You read it. I have no secrets from you.' He held out the letter and watched her slowly unfold it. He watched her face as she read. He knew she had stopped reading and was just staring at the words. Suddenly she spoke.

If you had the chance to have that conversation with me again, the one where I suggested we wait, would you have agreed with me, knowing what you know now? Knowing that she really loves you. Would you have thought it better not to rush into this?'

No,' Ross said firmly. I know this is a quick marriage but it's the one I want. If we weren't married already, I'd marry you right now.' He held his hand out for the letter and tore it in half and half again. I'll give you no reason to be nervous.' He handed her back the pieces and nodded at her. Slowly she got up and she put them in the contaminated waste bin. He smiled to himself. There was that edge he'd missed.

So you're not going to call her?' He didn't think the hospital would allow him to make an international call anyway.

I'll have to. I owe her something. We go back a long way, but it's not something I need to do right now. When I do, you'll know all about it.'

May I ask you something?' she asked after a while.

Of course.'

Would you renew your vows? There's a chaplain in the hospital. We could do it now. I know it's only been a week but it would mean so much to me.' After he'd messed them up the first time. And after this understanding between them, perhaps it was the right time.

Yes, Emily, I will.'

This time he was word perfect, and this time he got a proper kiss.