"Hey!" Exclaimed Hiroshi, looking out the window as he wiped away the tears of laughter. "I think that guy's gonna fight Kunou! Ahehehehe...."

Daisuke just kept laughing. "Roaring gay....! Ahahahahahahaaaaa..... Dirty Gay Paddle! Bwahahahahaaaa!"

A floor down, Nabiki had finally regained her composure, aside from the amused grin that was an extension of her smirk. Her mouth remained lopsided, the left corner risen halfway to her eye, as she spoke. "I sure hope Ranma knows what he's getting into. Heheh. Mmph. Roaring Gay. Heheh. Too much."

One of the seniors on the second floor, in the classroom below Nabiki's, nearly fell out the window as he was gasping for breath. As his friends pulled him back in, still laughing themselves, all he could gasp out was "Priceless.... Kunou's face.... heeeeeee...."

"Aheheheheheh... Snap... ahah... snap out of it, Goro.... heeheehee.... Don' wanna have to clean... ahah... ya up offa the ground.... haha.... under the window.....heh..."

Obviously, the mere thought of Kunou Tatewaki being gay was just too much for everyone in the school. Okay, okay, so it was actually that it was a pretty damn funny pun. Even if the poor sap got pulverized by Kunou, it was worth it to have the similarity pointed out.

"Scoundrel! Taunting the Blue Thunder and hounding the beauteous Tendouu Akane! It shall not be allowed! I, Upperclassman Kunou, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High-" Here, Kunou raised his bokken, and lightning streaked down a short distance away, ripping off a perfectly timed peal of thunder- "Shall bring you to JUSTICE!!!"

Ranma, aheheheh... It's gonna rain soon. Heeheeheehee.... Get this over with, will ya?

Ranma just couldn't understand what was so funny.

Passenger

Chapter 4: Of mistakes and consequences.

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction by S. Starblade

Dedicated to those others who have gone before, doing obvious SI... and not falling into the traps.

Warning: I borrow stuff. From everywhere. I'm not trying to plagiarize or anything. Deal with it. Oh, and enjoy this fanfiction.

Disclaimer: Oh, my. These aren't mine. I shall have to give them back, as soon as I am done with them. Ah, wait. Some of these are mine. Well, at least they aren't anyone else's.... I shall just keep ahold of them unless someone else can claim them. Enjoy this!

Key:

= English

" " = Japanese

[ ] = Jusenkyou Cursed Signs

{ } = Chinese

= Internal conversation between Ranma and Yasha

§ § = Is this joke getting old yet?

"So who's HOUNDING anyone?!" Asked Ranma. Where the hairy hell did this guy get the idea he'd been following Akane around?

"Mmph." said Akane, getting up and not giggling. Not in the least, eensy, teensy, little bit.. Kunou. Gay. "Mmpheeheeheemmph." Okay, maybe just a little. Poor Ranma was gonna get his head handed to him. Oh well. She had to admit, to hear that, and for the expression on Kunou's face, it was well worth it.

Neat trick he did with the lightning, though, you have to admit.

True enough, Yasha.

"Pay attention, fool!" Shouted Tatewaki, as he charged in, intent on splitting this scoundrel's skull in two vertically.

Ranma did not agree that this was a good idea, and effectively stated so by refusing the offer.

CHUNGGG!

Kunou found that, instead of Ranma, he had struck a stone wall. The fact that he struck with enough force to split and crumble a stone wall using only a wooden bokken was a testament to his perfect form. That he utterly failed to move quickly enough to strike Ranma was a testament to Ranma's better (and much more important) speed and agility.

Tatewaki, the noble samurai (Yeah right.), Turned to look where he had caught a flicker of motion with the corner of his eye. Target confirmed, he swiftly brought his weapon of divine vengence (read: wooden kendo stick) to bear, attempting again to injure this foul, physics-defying knave. At the last possible second, Ranma left his gravity-ignorant crouch against the nearly-vertical tree-trunk, springing up, over, and backwards, lifting himself higher than the branches of the erstwhile vegetation. All within half a second.

HWHAK!

Kunou: 1, Tree: 0

"Excuse me, excuse me.." said Ranma, landing on the other side of the felled part of the tree. "Let's just get this straight here...."

Kunou jumped back as Ranma practically appeared right in his face. "Akane and I have NO interest at ALL in each other." Even as he spoke, Ranma moved forwards, leaning in towards the upperclassman, their noses practically touching. Absently, Kunouo notet that he could see the veins in Ranma's eyes, even as he ran backwards, the Anything Goes Martial Artist following from a few inches behind.

'Amazing...' thought Akane, watching. 'He's better than I thought! He was there before Kunou could blink! Maybe he really is that much better than me...' Somehow, the thought galled Akane, but she ignored it in favor of watching the spectacle before her. At least, until Ranma made a comment that awoke her ire.

"She means NOTHING to me!" Shouted Ranma, backing the Killer Krazed Kendoist up as he yelled. They were halfway back to the school building by now, and Ranma had no intention of stopping until Kunouo was against the wall. "I have no interest in such a hot-tempered TOMBOY!!"

"Ranmaaa...." Akane growled, hefting a handy shot dropped by a member of the shot put team when she'd sprained his wrist. "Nooo HENTAI!!!!" And with that, she put the shot put people to shame. Her arm thrust out forcefully, propelling the shot not in a high arc, but a beautiful, spinning thrust, nearly level towards the two combatants, it moved so quickly.

"Dammit, Akane, quit calling me- oop-" Ranma jumped out of the way of the attack. While he could probably take it, he saw no reason to, and would just as soon go inside at this point. Besides, he could just SEE what was about to happen.

"Speaking ill of Akane!" Yelled Kunou, registering only that Ranma was no longer too close to attack with his weapon. Automatically, he swung a wide sideways slash, obviously ignoring the possibility that Ranma might have been further away than that. "I FORB-"

Wooden stick met ball of cast iron.

KRANNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRUNCH

"Iyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyi" Said the vibrating Tatewaki as he vibrated from the impact. His bokken, destroyed in the middle, the end hanging by a few splinters of wood, was astoundingly shaking more violently than he himself. Both seemed to be somewhat blurred at the edges, as they vibrated rather rapidly.

The shot, on the other hand, rebounded and bounced twice on the asphalt, as though it were rubber instead of a lump of iron. It left a path of small craters before loudly impacting wall, leaving a webwork of cracks and fissures as it fell to the concrete yet again.

"Wow. Kunou-chan should try out for baseball." Stated Nabiki, somewhat awed. "Ought to work on that follow-through, though."

Tatewaki, meanwhile was trying to get his teeth to stop trying to vibrate out of his mouth. There seemed to be some sort of localised earthquake going on. Why was everyone else still inside the building, rather than coming out here where it was safe? Wait a moment... his weapon was doing most of the vibrating. Maybe...

Ranma had decided. The Gay Thunder... or was it Blue Paddle? Roaring Earth? Whatever. The manic kendoist was going to take a nap now.

Kunou had other ideas, dropping his bokken and pulling another from his pants (don't ask) to use against the three of Ranma. Thunder struck somewhere nearby as the deranged, disoriented kendoist lashed out at the incoming airborne triplets. Once he had beaten this cur, he would surely be able to likewise defeat his soon to be disheartened duplicates.

Time seemed to pause.

Ranma, midair, with his hand out, first two fingers pointing at Kunou's forehead from an inch away.

Kunou, lucky enough this one time to have struck out at the real Ranma, despite the two others swimming in his vision.

The panda at the gates with a steaming kettle, running straight for Ranma, with an oddly relieved expression on his face.

....panda?

As though Matrix-style effects had just been shocked out of action by the sudden appearance of such an odd visitor, time resumed. In a blur of black and white, the panda ran through the combat, trampling one teen into the dust and snagging the other to bring along inside.

"Wow." "Cool." "Just one blow!" "Heheh... Roaring gay earth oar" "Um, 'Roshi? It wasn't that funny." "That's a real strong panda."

Murmurs ran through the school and rumors about gay pandas and kettles knocking out Kunou with one hit ran rampant as people went to go start their classes.

Genma-Panda sweated as he checked from the PE Equipment closet to see if they had been spotted. His feet hurt.

"Stupid rain. If not water, stupid kendoist be push flowers." Grumbled Yasha, rubbing her back where there were a few animal footprints. "Not help idiot with Alzheimers walk across me. Should have to wear eyeglass."

"Ah, I wouldn't be so sure..." Said Akane, crouching on the sill as she opened the window, careful not to look directly at Ranma-Yasha. She looked slightly pensive, staring at the ball bin.

Tucked under a set of floor mats, Tatewaki failed to register anything, though his feet were growing cold, which ought to wake him fairly soon.

"Nani? You for think maybe, I need being use as rug?" Yasha asked, giving Akane a scowl. "To have poor spirit, are you." Distractedly, she wrung as much water as she could out of the bottom half of her silk shirt. Dammit, Ranma may like them, but she was NOT going to be seen in a tanktop, thanks.

Akane blinked, not used to having to defend herself so abruptly. "Er, no... that's not what I meant. You know, the bit about Kunouo. I mean, he DID hit you."

"Aah, for fighting of sword-boy you speak. Why not you believe?"

"Your throat."

Ranma-Yasha lifted a hand to her neck, and rubbed lightly. "So itching a bit, I..." Then she saw the small amount of soft-pink blood on her hand. She touched her neck again, feeling the raw, lightly bleeding skin. "Cut? No, is... ah... how say... " friction "burn. Cut not itch. I going need piece cotton and bandage, maybe.." Yasha frowned, wondering how the ersatz bokken-wielder had actually managed to tag Ranma. Perhaps when the change occurred...

Genma-Panda poured the water, relieved to have the demonic visage removed from sight. He then looked wistfully at the kettle, and shrugged. There really wasn't a point, he'd just get wet on his way home. Without either teenager paying attention to him, it was rather easy to leave and head back to the Dojo, where Kasumi would doubtlessly be preparing lunch. Mmmm, lunch....

"Wow." Ranma muttered, sounding slightly impressed (but not much). "An' he didn't even touch me. He's better'n I woulda thought f'r a hobbyist." He rubbed at his neck, seeming not to notice that what had been a rather irritating friction burn on Yasha's neck, was now nothing more than a slight bruise.

"If he HAD, " Akane turned to face the now-human Ranma, "You'd be breathing through a hole in your neck. Almost even match, wouldn't you say?"

"Maybe..." Said Ranma, enigmatically, rubbing the now-bruise on his neck.

"Hmmmm..." Hmmmmed Kunou Tatewaki, looking in a borrowed mirror. He frowned at the image in it, he frowned at what it told him, and he frowned at the girliness of the mirror.

What, you thought HE of all people would have owned a mirror bordered with pink ribbon bas-relief?

The esteemed samurai.... ah... wannabe swordsman... was examining the print on his forehead. It was a curious bruise, shaped as though made of numerous smaller bruises. Deliberately shaped.

"Halfwited Nimrud" it read, in passable English characters.

"Amazing." Said Nabiki, watching him. "And you don't even remember him touching you?" This was getting more impressive all the time. First, magic curses, now striking faster than the eye can track... What was next, fireballs from bare hands? Blowing things up with a touch?

"Hmph." Hmphed Tatewaki, now in uniform, as he returned the mirror to Mitsuki, who was watching mutely. "And at first I thought he might be GOOD! But he can't spell English at all!" The not-very-nobleman stood abruptly, scraping his chair across the floor.

He stalked over to the blackboard, taking up a piece of chalk in his right hand. Turning, he began scribing forcefully on the dark-green surface..

"THIS is how you spell it!"

SKREEK SKREEK

The chalkboard now read "Haffuwelleb Memrud" in English.

"Actually, Kunou-chan, it's spelled like this."

Tatewaki looked over at the board near Nabiki, where more writing rested. He hadn'd even heard her use the chalk.

Her writing read "Halfwitted Nimrod" in English. In cursive. With decorative chibi-Tatewakis, all wearing dunce-caps, dancing around it. He could tell they were him, because each was saying something like "The Roaring Gay Knows How To Tango!" in Japanese.

Kunou looked blandly at Nabiki. "I despise you." He stated, in a totally passionless tone.

"I'm so glad." Stated Nabiki, equally neutrally.

"Well, Saotome-san... Though you have spent the last while in China, this does not excuse your being late, even with the dirty gay panda incident."

Ranma and Akane both blinked slowly.

"Also late, " continued the teacher, oblivious to the fact-twisting pulled by the rumor mill, "Was Akane Tendouu. Both of you take buckets and stand in the hall."

"This is all your fault." Stated Akane, not too angrily. She was still trying to keep a straight face over Kunou's new name. Not to mention the rumor mill. Maybe she'd have to try something new. How would Kuno react to being called 'Panda Pants'?

"MY fault? How is it MY fault that YOUR fight slowed us down?" Ranma questioned, indignantly. What an inconsiderate... Words not used to describe things better left to rot in forgotten tombs escaped him.

"....yes, but every morning, I manage to finish MY fight BEFORE first bell rings." She replied, a little more hotly. Lousy Kuno. Lousy horde. Lousy engagement deal.

Hey, Ranma... ya wanna ask her what all that was about, hopefully before she gets mad again?

I'm getting to it, I'm getting to it...

"What was all that about, anyways? I'VE never gotten people attacking me while declaring love before."

Portentious words.

"At the beginning of the school year.." began Akane, sighing and looking downcast, "Kunou announced at the beginning of the school speech tournament..."

((FLASHBACK))

"Anyone wishing to take Akane Tendouu out on a date, must defeat her for permission! I, Tatewaki Kunou, the Shooting Star of Furinkan High, will permit no other terms! Anyone attempting to break them must answer to ME!"

((END FLASHBACK))

"And they LISTENED????" Ranma was utterly incredulous. Kunou wasn't even that good! Why would people do what he told them? This didn't make any sense at ALL....

What the hell kinda stupid thing is that to TELL everyone, anyways? Yasha fumed. I don't know about you, but that seems kinda dishonorable to me, saying something like that about her without her permission. At least, if she understood Japanese honor at all... some of this stuff was kinda hard to believe.

Hadn't thought of that, Yasha...

"Well, Kunou IS the Kendo team captain, and they're the top martial arts club here..."

"Why didn'tcha tell 'em he was wrong, anyways? I mean, he didn' ask ya about it first, did he?"

"So, anyway, Kunou-chan, " Nabiki whispered, keeping her eyes on the board. "Our fathers, after everything was sorted out, engaged Ranma to Akane, Ka-"

Nabiki cut off when she realized that the seat next to her was now empty and on its side, and the classroom door was open.

"Chikushou. He didn't get the whole story. Well, I'm sure Akane can get him to listen."

"Ah.... Tendouu-san?" Mr. Yamada asked, looking a bit surprised. "You wouldn't happen to know what set Kunou-san off this time, would you? Oh, and after you answer, take some buckets and go stand in the hall, please. Next time, don't talk while I'm giving a lecture."

"Yeah, sure." Grumbled Nabiki. Stupid Kunou-chan.

"And this happens every single morning, too?"

"Yeah..." said Akane, thoughtfully. "Kunou too... but I always win." Something sounded off about the statement, even to Akane, so she tacked on a "Somehow."

Oh boy. Major snag. Said Yasha. The girl wasn't actually better than Kunou, even she could see that. This spelled trouble with a capital T. Especially given her attitude before. Probably, Akane thought very highly of her own skills.... She hoped Ranma would be circumspect about this.

"Well... " Ranma trailed off, remembering his promise to Yasha to think first next time.

"Well, what??"

"It's just... most other men, when they fight a girl, go easy... " He paused. Did that come out like he'd meant it to?

Akane fumed. "What do you mean 'other men'? When we sparred before, you wouldn't even try to hit me! Don't underestimate me!"

"No, no no..." Had his hands been free, Ranma would have been waving them defensively. "You've got it all wrong! I mean, look at what you have to deal with every morning... It's good practice, but it's obvious that you're used to opponents who concentrate on striking you at any cost. Also at fighting multiple opponents."

Akane, for once, shut up and listened. This sounded like it was going somewhere.

"I mean, what would you do if one of them started acting like I did in our sparring match? All of those guys in the morning attack first, putting you on the response. You need to learn how to initiate it, so you don't get pulled into a trap if you ever DO have to. You can't always fight defensively."

Wow. Yasha was impressed. You put a lot more thought than usual into this, Ranma. You've learned to think much faster. Congratulations.

Well, I try.

"...." Akane was trying to find something to object to in what he'd said. The problem was, for a boy, he was being very reasonable. And not at all perverted, either... He was just standing there, looking thoughtfully out the window on the other side of the hall.

Satan, on the other hand, was pulling out a snow shovel and cursing.

"Yah!" shouted Ranma, jumping the sudden splash of water towards him. If he were to change here, Yasha might not make it, especially with Kunou right there to see the "demon"....

Akane wasn't quite as fast, and got doused.

Kunou, typically, didn't notice at all. Nor did he notice the constant, heavy stream of water hitting him in the back.

"What the?" Rhetorically asked Ranma, carefully landing OUT of the water, then got a better look at Kunou. Who was soaked. And Nabiki down the hall with the fire hose, trying to get Kunou's attention. Her buckets were sitting by her feet, empty- she'd tried to get the kendoist's attention with them back on the stairway.

"Nabiki?" Queried Akane, too surprised to get mad at her moistening yet. Though once she remembered, Tatewaki would probably have a very sore face.

"I SHALL NEVER ALLOW YOUR ENGAGEMENT TO AKANE, VILE CUR!!"

Akane had just enough time to mutter "Kuso."

"WHAT?? Engagement?!" "How COULD you, Akane??" "I thought you HATED boys!!" "Wait, which one of you is engaged to Akane?" "I bet it's the new kid! Ramen whats-his-name!"

"That's RANMA, you idi-whoop-"

Ranma was getting annoyed. Would he never be allowed to finish an important sentence around here? And what was it with water around here? Not to mention, how did Kunou slice a metal bucket CLEANLY with a wooden stick? The idiot hadn't demonstarated that level of chi control before.... That cut it. He was going to go outside where he could get some room, and teach this nimwit a lesson.

"Stand your ground, coward!" Shouted Kunou, giving chase.

"We can't fight in here with all these people! Follow me!" Yelled Ranma to the lunatic Kendoist. He took off down the hall, with the hakama'd moron in moderately close pursuit.

"I follow eagerly to inflict a thrashing!" Replied Tatewaki.

Ranma spied an open window, and moved to it.

"What are you doing, Ranma?" Asked Nabiki, as he passed her. Then she pressed herself against the wall as Akane and her entire class piled down the hallway and around the corner.

"OY!" A sensei shouted, "RUN QUIETLY IN THE HALLS, DAMMIT!"

Let's see if he's tough enough to follow me HERE...

I wouldn't think so, Ranma... otherwise, he'd have done better against you earlier... Yasha mused. Probably, this would bring things to a quick end- which was good. Ranma could stand to spend more time learning the useful things one could in school.

"Here, let's go this way! It's faster!" Called back Ranma, jumping through the window.

"That I shall!" Stated Kunou, eyes only on Ranma, following him intently.

"Wait!" Shouted Nabiki. She didn't want to marry him, but she didn't exactly like the idea of a dead Ranma smeared across school grounds... "This is the third floor!" She stared at the already falling Ranma.

"No sweat, I'm...." Ranma left off as he looked down. "Aw, chikushou."

Yasha, this is gonna hurt.

Yasha just braced herself as best she could without physically existing.

Had Ranma looked back up a little, he would have seen Kunou's eyes bug out almost as far at the drop as they had at the whole "Thundering Gay Dirt Oar" thing. As good (or passable, at least) as he was, even he wouldn't consider diving out a third story window to be within the realm of 'doable'. At least, not without injuring oneself.

SPLASHHHHHH!!!!!

Yasha had just enough time in control before blacking out to bubble out an underwater, understated, and grossly undervolumed, "Ow."

Akane winced. That HAD to hurt. Of course, not as much as it would have if there hadn't been a pool there, but still.

"Look!" sait Hiroshi, pointing at the pool. "The Burbling Fruity Muddy Stick is floating to the top!"

Akane winced again, wondering where THAT one came from. It wasn't even especially funny when it got that mixed up.

"And what happened to Ranma?"

Akane blinked for a moment. Ranma cold water = ..... "Crap." She decided to go for some hot water.

Kunou floated a little higher in the water as Yasha's unconscious form floated up into him, providing enough support to lift him some from buoyancy.

Yasha came to suddenly, almost gasping in a lungful of water, before heaving herself high enough in the water to drag a draught of air. Odd, treading water wasn't usually this difficult. She coughed a few times, spitting out chlorinated water, Eugh..., and noticed that it was also rather dark.

Oh. A deranged kendoist resting on your head WOULD make it harder. That and feeling like you'd been ironed all down your front.

Then Kunou came to, and she revised her statement to read "A deranged, perverted kendoist."

"RANMA SAOTOME! I FIGHT ON!" Kunou shouted in Yasha's ear, grabbing something that, while somewhat handle-shaped on some individuals, was definitely not INTENDED for use as a handle.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Shrieked Yasha, mostly in pain, but some in mortification, and in fear of being found out.

This wasn't very good.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have been informed that Yasha, as I described her, resembles the character Inu-Yasha from another of Takahashi-sama's manga. This is not intentional, and not as true as it seems. I beg to remind that when I said Yasha had "pointed ears", I was going more for elf-like than animal-like.

Oh, well.

Futher Author's Notes, 4/25/04:

Wow. This early on in the fanfic, there's really not a lot that I needed to redo, come down to it. Expect, however, that things will start to look significantly different starting within the next couple of chapters. There are a number of scenes that I intend to rewrite, as well as some plot divergences and subplots that need reworking. Oh, and something of an overhaul on the overall major plot, though the end look will be rather similar.

Your dedicated writer,

Selene Starblade