Severed Ties
Chapter 20
Halo for Horns
She remembered it all: the raw ache when she realized nothing could be done to save her lover, the months of depression that culminated in the ultimate pain when she slammed the sword home and into his gut. She had almost died there; watching him sucked through the horrific maw of Acathla, knowing that it had been her that set the events into motion. She had brought forth this soulless monster and it had been her destiny to put him down.
The pain and guilt had lessened over the years though she wasn't so naïve to think that it would ever abate. It would haunt her till her final days, the hurt and betrayal that danced in his eyes as he called her name, a question in his tone. She had no answer for him then and still had none for herself that satisfied the closest masochist within her. Somehow, 'it was my responsibility' didn't quite do it. The only solace she had taken during the years that had followed was the monstrous being that wore the face of her first love would never surface again. Angel loved her too much to allow Angelus to ever appear again. That was why he left.
It wasn't until she and Spike fell into one another that Buffy had placed Angel to the back of her mind. In truth, it was kinda difficult to think of anything coherent, much less complicated, in the blonde vampire's presence. At first it had been the comfort of his words as he soothed her or the ear he offered to talk to. After that it had been the overwhelming sensations he soaked her body with. That first night Buffy had known what it had meant to be addicted. It was physical but so much more as well. But it was only during her dreams, when her subconscious fought for dominance that Buffy truly understood how deep her feelings for Spike ran. Of course, it wasn't until she was near death that conscious and subconscious meshed, and she whispered those three words she had felt for so long but denied. Still, sleeping the sleep of the whipped and battered had taken months from their new lives together; time she could never get back. That wouldn't stop her, however, and Buffy had decided that day when she awoke in the hospital that everyday with Spike would be like the last, she would never deny him her love, not for a second.
That vow had been shattered for one brief moment when Jay had spoken words that Buffy never thought she would have to hear; Angelus was back.
True, he had taken on another moniker, another angelic name, no less, but it all added up to the same. Angel had lost his soul and that had meant only one thing.
Truthfully, that thought had disturbed her greatly although the pain of knowing Angel had found someone to give him that true moment of happiness had lasted for, at most, the blink of an eye.
By a cruel twist of fate, no doubt, Spike's eyes had fallen on Buffy at that particular moment where jealousy and anger clouded her vision. And that twisted frame of hurt she had seen when Angel was sucked into hell shrouded Spike's marbled features.
Buffy opened her mouth to say something, anything, but he turned back to their daughter, grabbing Jay's hand in his and putting distance between he and Buffy.
"Gabriel is Angel?" Willow's voice broke Buffy's trance and the slayer focused on the problem at hand. She would have plenty of time to talk with Spike about her reaction but now there were more important things to deal with.
"How did this occur?" Giles asked. "I do not proclaim to know Angel as well as Buffy, but I daresay he would never put himself in such a position to lose his soul, not after knowing the destruction he wrought when he lost it."
"You're right, Ripper," Spike said, and Buffy winced at the bitterness in his tone, "you don't know Peaches one bit. He's a selfish bastard, that one, just like me." Buffy wanted hide when Spike's gaze fell upon her. "Gets caught up in something that's too good to be true, and by the time you suss out the fine print on the warnin' label, 's too late."
"When did this happen, Jay? Who did he lose his soul to?" Buffy asked Inside she was shivering but on the outside she remained calm.
Jay shook her head. "Guys, didn't you hear me? He didn't lose his soul, or I don't think he did."
"But I thought you said he was Gabriel," Tara said.
"He is, or was, or…" Jay sighed. "You know what I mean. In my time, he was Gabriel."
"But Angel has a soul," Buffy said, "he wouldn't do something like that."
Spike and Jay snorted simultaneously, their faces identical portraits of disgust. "It's not about the soul, Mum," her daughter said, and walked over to the island, "but about that person's character."
"And good old Liam never had much of that," Spike muttered.
"While I understand your point, Jay," Giles said, staring at his feet while he polished his glasses, "Angel has proven for quite some time that he is a champion for our side. Were he absent of his soul, that would not be the case."
Jay's hands ran through her hair, a trait she had definitely taken from her father.
"You guys don't get it," she said. "Just because he has a soul doesn't mean he can't one day crack up, decide that the good guy thing just isn't for him and go bat for the other team."
"He…he wouldn't," Buffy said, and instantly regretted it when Spike growled next to her.
"He wouldn't, would he? Of course Peaches wouldn't do something like that. He wouldn't set fire to two vampires, his Sire and Childe, only days after he locked them in a room with a dozen human lawyers. And he sure as hell wouldn't shag his Sire because he wanted to lose his soul but instead he knocks her up. Oh, he wouldn't do that…"
"Daddy," Jay warned but Spike continued.
"…Because he has a soul. Is that right, folks? Is that what I'm hearin' you say? Because you all know good old William the Bloody doesn't have a soddin' soul. What's to say he won't turn back to a killer? Oh, I forgot, the bloody chip up in here." He pressed a finger to his temple. "Doesn't matter if he's still evil now, does it? He's just William the Bloody useless, you know. Can't 'urt a soddin thing, 's as harmless as a baby pup. Innit that right, Slayer?"
"Daddy…" Jay started but was silenced by a vicious glare from her father.
Buffy was reeling from the anger and pain that laced her lover's words. She had thought her declaration of love would wipe away his insecurities but that had been foolishness. No matter how much Buffy loved him, a hundred plus years of self-doubt could not be cleansed at the drop of three little words. It was impossible. But here she was, realizing for the first time just how deep his insecurities ran, how blind she had been to Spike's distrust. Oh, she had known how he had blamed himself for her death, but not this. She needed to reassure him, just as much as he needed to hear it but the lines of communication inside her head choose that moment to not pay the bill and shut down. And instead of reaffirming her belief in him, in them, Buffy said the worst thing possible.
"Angel…and Darla?" The pressure in the room intensified and a cold sensation enveloped the slayer, threatening to devour her bones. She heard Jay gasp and the swirl of air to her left. She knew without saying what had happened but still Buffy had needed to confirm it with her own two eyes.
Spike was gone.
"Great," Buffy said, "just great."
~~~
He needed to get out of there.
It had been bad enough when Buffy's hazel eyes had shone disappointment at the knowledge of Angel finding that true moment of happiness again. But after Spike's little tirade, she hadn't even had the decency to toss a 'shut up, Spike' his way. Instead, her first thought had been of Angel. He knew she'd been confused by the anger in his tone and, per Buffy's usual, she had focused upon the information he had so spitefully given. Still…
"Bloody wanker," he muttered as he slid his arms into the duster and slammed the front door closed. He had sensed Harris and the other slayer coming down the steps but his mind had been so clouded by emotion that he paid them no heed. He did, however, glance at the two figures walking from the black convertible parked in the driveway.
"Spike," Angel said but Spike ignored him. Without stopping, the platinum blonde hurried down the street, all too aware of the fierce whispers conducted behind him before the familiar presence of his Sire fell in line behind him. Spike shook his head in disgust and pulled a cigarette from his pocket. The myriad of emotions playing war inside of him caused his hands to shake and it couldn't hold them still long enough to light the ciggy. Frustrated, he hurled the unlit fag into the air and stalked further into the night, well aware of the footsteps that were his companion.
He needed to kill something; needed to rip into muscle and bone. And maybe then he'd be able to deal with it all. But until then, he was going to impart pure, unadulterated violence on the denizens of the underworld.
After all, a bloke had to have something to look forward to.
~~~
"Far be it from me to state the obvious," CJ said as his eyes bounced off the six individuals spread out in the kitchen, "but am I missing something here or what?"
"No," Dawn said dryly, "you're all caught up on our soap opera lives. Except about Buffy's ex, who happens to be a vampire, going all Darth Vader when he gets a happy. Or the fact that he and Spike really don't like each other and that…"
"Dawn," Giles said, "do be quiet. Buffy? Are you all right?"
The Slayer turned towards her Watcher, her hazel eyes burning in frustration and guilt. She opened her mouth to speak but two other figures entered the room.
"So, what's up with the Blonde and the Beautiful?" Faith asked and hopped on to the island. Buffy glanced at her sister slayer and then to Xander, who leaned against the doorway. He smiled and Buffy returned the sentiment, albeit half-heartedly before making eye contact with Faith.
"He left."
"I know that, B, but he didn't look too keen about whatever went down when me and Xand were upstairs."
"Oh, I don't know," Willow said, "it may be the tiny little fact that Gabriel and Angel are the same person…er, vampire."
"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Cordelia asked as she pushed past Xander and into the kitchen.
"Hey, Cordy," Buffy said, her voice deceptively calm. "Where's Angel?"
The seer shrugged. "He went after Spike for whatever reason."
"I see."
"Why? Is something wrong?"
"Well," Jay said, and glanced between the other room occupants, "guess I've got a lot of explaining to do."
***
He heard them, the two vampires, talking. Their words were harsh and severe to one another, ignorant of their surroundings. They both stunk of righteousness, although the one had no soul. He followed their voices until they came into view. He bit back a gasp of surprise when he saw the face of his Master on the dark-haired vampire. The shock quickly wore off however, as he remembered that Gabriel had cautioned him about this. Until everything was complete, until he completed his part of the sacrifice, killing this angelic incarnation of Gabriel would resound throughout the temporal fabric, erasing the Gabriel of the future from existence. Such effects would be profound and even he wasn't sure the effects it would have on a demonic transplant from Quortoth. But did it matter? He was here for one purpose and one purpose alone; raise havoc and strife before killing those that stood by the slayers but not touching the slayers themselves.
But Gabriel had said nothing about sparing the blonde vampire, though, did he?
Algolagniar smiled, his jagged teeth glistening in the moonlight. He would have his fun with the two vampires, killing the blonde one and allowing the other to gather reinforcements. That was when the slaughter could begin. It had been too long since he'd reveled in a good massacre.
***
He had spent the last thirty minutes trailing close behind the younger vampire, waiting for Spike to break the silence. It would do no good to strike up a conversation with the sullen blonde. Angel knew that much from experience. When Spike was in one of his moods, it was of one's best interest to hide. Even during his tenure as Angelus, Angel had never really crossed sullen Spike. Of course back then, with Dru at his side, those moods were few and far between but when they did surface, Angelus respected (for the most part) young William's sulky temperament. And that had been when the younger vamp would have been no match for his centuries old Sire.
Now, if it was to come down to it, Angel wasn't entirely sure that he could best Spike in a fight, so he had taken the 'caution, better part of valor' approach.
The sharp crack nabbed the elder vampire's attention and Angel rolled his eyes at yet another destroyed headstone. Number three on the night. Annoyance flared up within him and before he could bite his tongue, Angel spoke.
"That's it," he said, "kill the dangerous tombstones. I guess they were planning some particularly nefarious scheme to open the Hellmouth."
Spike whirled on him, all platinum and leather (Big Bad, world, here me roar) and stalked up to Angel, stopping inches before making contact. The scowl that would have frightened most did nothing but help drive the irritation from Angel's mind and he scarcely had the control to bottle his amusement as he looked down at the shorter vamp.
"Got somethin' to say, Peaches? Cause if you do, I'd really like to hear it…oh, wait a minute, I think not." Spike sneered, glancing at Angel in disdain and the latter knew that Spike was looking for a legitimate reason to start a brawl. He wasn't thinking straight, that much Angel could tell. Fortunately for the both of them, an afternoon spent with Cordelia in his arms had calmed Angel to the point where he could overlook the festering contempt that Spike always seemed to bring forth in the elder vampire. It had nothing to do with the knowledge that Cordelia and Buffy would kick he and Spike's collective asses if the two vampires traded blows. Nope, nothing at all.
Angel snapped out of his thoughts when Spike turned away to flounce into the night. He caught up with the livid vampire in three strides, placing his hand firmly on Spike's shoulder. The younger vampire came to a halt and Angel swore, knowing that it had been a hasty action.
"You know," Spike said, his voice frighteningly calm, "in a hundred plus years of existence, 've found that it's quite beneficial to 'ave two hands. Not to say that some blokes can't get along without two meathooks, but generally, 's not a good idea." He turned his head slowly and Angel saw the gold flecks that warred with blue as Spike's demon clawed dangerously close to the surface.
"And judging from the 'no fun' clause of that soul of yours, mate, I wager that you need all the fingers and hands you can get." Spike nudged his head in the direction of Angel's hand and the latter acquiesced, removing his hand.
"What's with the tortured act, Spike?" Angel asked as they resumed their walk through the cemetery, only to stop again when Angel's question sunk in.
"Torture act? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just what it sounds like. You've been skulking through town for the last half hour with that 'I just got my favorite toy taken away' look."
"I. Do. Not. Sulk!" Spike shouted, and slammed his heel into another headstone, shattering it with a reverse crescent kick. When he turned back to Angel, the fire in his cerulean eyes had been muted but Angel knew that the violence to an inanimate object was nothing more than a temporary fix.
"That makes four," Angel said. "Were they the Four Horsemen or something equally dastardly?"
"Sod off," Spike said and walked past Angel.
"Where are you going?"
"Somewhere where you aren't, ya big poof."
"Spike…"
"Leave me be."
"I will," he said and cut in front of the younger vampire, "when you stop acting like such an ass."
Spike's laughter carried through the night, and the honesty behind it startled Angel.
"I'm actin' like an ass, Peaches? Oh, that's rich, Angel. Comin' from you no less, 's bloody hilarious, considerin' you're tha soddin' poster boy for what 's like to be a grade A ass. Pot--kettle, mate, pot--kettle."
Angel pinched the bridge of his nose. Not being around his Childe for so long had given Angel time enough to forgot how quickly Spike was able to grate every last nerve in his Sire's (or anyone, for that matter) body.
"How is it that Buffy hasn't killed you yet?" What had been meant as a sign of irritation and, for all intents a joke (although there was a bit of scientific curiosity inlayed in there as well) was taken as anything but. Outstanding grief washed over Spike's face before everything but the faintest sorrow in his eyes was closed off. It was the only clue that Angel needed.
"It's about Buffy, isn't it? Something happened between you two."
" 's really none of your business, mate," he replied coolly and slipped an unlit fag between his lips.
Defensive Spike 101, Angel thought and mentally smacked himself. God, I think I've been hanging around the Scoobies waaay too much. The snap-hiss of a lighter drew Angel's attention and he watched as Spike took two quick inhalations before exhaling a steady stream of smoke.
"You know," the blonde said, "I really don't get it. What's so bloody special about you?"
"Aside from the fact that I was the only vampire in history sloppy enough to get cursed with a soul?" Spike glared at him. "Okay, bad joke, but not far from the truth."
"So you think you're special?"
Angel opened his mouth to respond immediately but didn't. It was a good point. Did he think he was special just because he was cursed with a soul? It wasn't by choice that he received it, so how could he be special? Most would call him unlucky but Angel had come to realize that without the soul, he would never have met Buffy or the Scoobs. The LA Gang either. Yeah, there was the whole Shanshu prophecy but who said that it was him? Maybe, if he hadn't received the soul another vampire would have been cursed with one or, however far-fetched it seemed, asked for one. Fat chance of that. No vampire in his right mind would ask for a soul. Angel felt Spike's eyes boring into him and shivered. It was just a passing thought but the possibility of Spike asking for a soul was…well, it was ridiculous. With that said, it was Spike and he definitely fit the criteria for doing the absurd.
Shaking off the thought, Angel looked Spike in the eyes. "No, I don't think I'm special, unique maybe, but not special."
The answer threw Spike off kilter but he hid it admirably. He shrugged, took another few puffs before chucking the fag to the ground, extinguishing it with the toe of his Doc Martens.
"So, this helping the hopeless gig, this supposed connection to the Powers I've heard about doesn't make you feel all warm and cuddly with yourself?"
"Spike, just because someone is destined to do something doesn't make them special. Just as having a soul doesn't make someone good."
"True. They could always lock a dozen lawyers in a room and let two vamps chow down in an all you can eat buffet." Angel winced and the smugness returned to Spike's face.
"Or just like a soulless demon would allow himself to be tortured by a hell god for his mortal enemy and her little sister…"
"Who told you?" Angel smirked inwardly at the panic in Spike's eyes.
"I know a lot of things, William."
"Except that your once honey was shaggin' a soulless demon, right?" Angel mood darkened, all traces of humor gone. He knew he was playing into Spike's hands, giving the younger vamp the exact reaction he'd been looking for but Angel didn't care. Even with Cordelia, being reminded that Buffy was with Spike, regardless of what he told her last night was… it was still unnatural.
"You're never going to grow up, are you?"
"I beg your pardon…"
"No," Angel said, "you won't. Everything has to be a competition with you, Spike, doesn't it? You knew you never had Dru, so what did you do? Tried to make a name for yourself killing slayers. Then you flounce into town, see that I have your potential third and instead of trying to kill her, what do you do? You go and fall in love with her. Only problem is, just like Dru, she's still…"
Angel knew the punch was coming but did nothing to stop it. Spike's fist slammed into the right side of Angel's face, knocking him to the ground. The platinum blonde stood over the fallen vamp, his chest heaving and while Angel's demon cheered for the opportunity to fight, the other part of him was ashamed. He had attacked Spike where it hurt the younger vampire the most, his pride and insecurities as to his self-worth.
"Spike…"
"If you even think of finishing that sentence, I will rip your bloody heart out through your eye sockets."
"I'm sorry." Even as he said the words, Angel nearly gasped in surprise. But surprise didn't do justice to the gawking that Spike did, anger aside. Angel took advantage of his Childe's shock and stood up, wiping the blood from his busted lip.
"Look, Spike, what I meant to say, earlier was that it doesn't have to be this way. Doesn't have to be a competition between us." Doesn't it?
"Doesn't it?" Spike asked and Angel almost laughed at the echo of his own thoughts. "As you so expertly pointed out, Angel, you had Dru first, you had the fame and notoriety and I 'ad nothin'. Just the affections of a raving lunatic that every time she got her knickers in a twist so gleefully reminded me that I'd never be her daddy. I was never rough enough with her or cruel enough to satisfy her for long stretches without her pining for you…"
"Spike, I…"
"No, don't you dare! It's your fault, you know. You made her. You let her make me, and for the last hundred and twenty years I've lived in your bloody shadow. I am fuckin' sick of it!"
Angel was stunned. He had always known that Spike resented him, but to hear it firsthand, to see the emotion swimming in those nearly soulful eyes rocked the vampire to the core.
"And the Slayer? Yeah, she loves me; I'm not a complete idiot on that. She does. But let her soulful knight enter the picture and I'm nothing more than convenient again. You know she told me that once, that I was convenient. Helluva thing to say to someone you just shagged all bloody night, innit, Angelus?"
"Spike," Angel said, and forced his voice to remain even, commanding, "you're talking crazy."
"Am I?" Spike stalked towards Angel, stopping short just inches from the latter's chest. His smiled cruelly although Angel saw the pain that threatened to spill out at any time.
"Then tell me, Peaches, why after finding out about you playing for the other team in the good old future, that the only thing Buffy manages to do is ask about you and Darla."
Angel grimaced and Spike saw it clearly. For several seconds the air filled with the stench of hatred and Angel braced himself for the inevitable blow. It never came.
Instead, Spike backed off and regarded his Sire with prodding eyes. Angel overcame the urge to turn away, meeting the resigned azure liquid gaze with…with what he didn't know. Spike turned away first, showing his back to Angel. When he spoke, for first time in a hundred years, Angel wanted to hold Spike and beg forgiveness.
"I know I don't deserve her, Angel, I do. There're blokes out there better 'n me, waitin' for someone like 'er to come along. And if I could, I'd give 'er to the best one of 'em. But I can't. Call me a soulless demon if you will, doesn't matter, I'm too selfish to let 'er go. Know why? It's not 'cause I know no one can love 'er better 'n me. 'S 'cause I made 'er a promise to never leave."
"I know, Spike."
"An' no matter what, I'm not gonna leave 'er 'for 'er own good', 'm not gonna make that decision for 'er. If she wants to be rid o' me, then so be it. But if she doesn't send me away, I'm gonna stay 'ere till they put 'er in the ground…or I'm dust in the soddin' wind. 'm never gonna 'urt her, 's long as I can 'elp it." He turned towards Angel and the elder vampire was in shock when he saw the tears that welled in Spike's eyes.
"She's all I've got, Peaches, 'er and the Nibblet and Jay. Without 'em…without 'em, I don't know what…" A harsh sob caught in Spike's throat and Angel was torn between comforting the peroxide blonde and letting him be. His nurturing instincts took over, however, and he took two steps towards Spike when he felt it.
"Spike--" Angel said and whirled around.
Just in time to see a purple form land in front of him and a large fist fly towards his face.
The last thought that raced through Angel's mind as he crashed into a headstone was that he'd never get the chance to make amends with Spike.
***
"So, let me get this straight," Xander said, "in the future, something happens to Angel, he goes all evil Willy without the loss of his soul, and goes all Kull the Conqueror on the world?"
"That about sums it up," Jay said.
"Okay, but no one has answered why exactly Angel goes crazy," Cordelia said.
"Evidently," Jay said, "it has something to do with me."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, Mum and Dad had regular contact with Angel up until I was born. After my birth, they didn't hear from him again."
"So, somehow your birth affected Angel," Tara said. "But that still doesn't explain the prophecy about him having two souls."
Jay sighed, knowing that this particular part would be especially difficult for Buffy. Although she wished Spike was here, in a way she was glad because, Buffy's probable reaction would hurt him, too.
"About two years ago, this law firm in LA got its hands on some ancient scrolls on something called the Raising."
"The…the Raising?" Giles asked. "Are…are you sure?"
"What's this Raising?" Buffy asked.
Giles stood and stroked his chin as one hand sunk into the pocket of his slacks. "The Raising is a ritual where a vampire who has been destroyed can be resurrected. Several offerings must be made, one of which is the sacrifice of five vampires."
"Is that what the Master's followers were trying to do?" Buffy asked, her voice an uncertain whisper.
"Not exactly. In the Raising, from what I understand, the vampire resurrected will not arise as a vampire at all, but a human."
"A human?" Willow asked.
Giles nodded. "He, or she, would appear as they had been the moments of their final breath."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, that if one was dying from, say, cancer, before being sired, then he or she would be resurrected with the same affliction."
"So what does this have to do with Soul Boy?" Xander asked.
"Darla was resurrected," Buffy said. Her voice was hollow, bare and she shook the thoughts away when the others looked at her. "Spike…before he left, said something about Angel and Darla…" Buffy stopped in mid sentence and turned disbelieving eyes towards her daughter.
"They had a child, Jay, didn't they?"
"Wait," Faith said, and walked over to Buffy, "you didn't know?"
Buffy bit down the anger that welled inside her yet it resounded in her tone. "Obviously I wasn't important enough for him to impart that particular piece of info to."
"Geez, B, I thought he would have told you last night when you two were all kumbaya on the front porch."
Buffy opened her mouth to argue but closed it. She did remember him saying that he had to tell her something, something that would piss her off. But she had no idea it would have been this. Angel, with a child? The fact that it hurt, badly, was no surprise. The shock had been that it didn't hurt as much as she would have thought.
Can't worry about that now, though, she said to herself and erased the pain from mind and body, allowing the slayer to emerge.
"Okay," she said, once more in command of her faculties, "Angel and Darla had a kid. What's that have to do with Jay?"
"From what I understand," Faith said, "a few months ago, the little cherub was kidnapped, taken to this demon dimension by this guy that experienced first hand the wrath of Angelus a few centuries ago."
"What?" Buffy asked.
"And I think that when I was born, somehow the dimensional walls allowed him to be freed."
"And I'm guessing," Xander said, "that spending your formative years in some cracked out hell dimension, not conducive to non-psychotic behavior."
"From what I could gather, from Emerald and other sources, Connor, Angel's son, came through the Quortoth portal and…"
"Quortoth?!" Giles exclaimed.
"Something wrong, Giles?" Willow asked. "Aside from it being a hell dimension and all."
"From what has been written about it, Quortoth is one of the most brutal, vile hell dimensions there are. However, unlike most, Quortoth is habitable to humans such as us, but it purportedly changes those who enter on a fundamental level."
"And how is that?" Cordelia asked.
"Honestly, I do not know."
"So," Buffy said, and turned towards her daughter, "what did Connor do to Angel?"
"I'm not totally sure, but he somehow, I guess took over Angel. No one, not even Emerald really knew."
"But you know enough to know that you're the only one that can stop him," Buffy said.
"Yeah. I think we're connected somehow, I just…there's a lot of unanswered questions about a lot of things so…"
"Algolagniar," CJ whispered, the word breaking into the already tense atmosphere.
"What was that?" Dawn asked.
When he looked at her, for one brief moment, he and Dawn were connected in ways that he had never imagined. Visions of Dawn, draped in emerald light, holding him, pulling him from the darkness, guiding him to a better place, filled his mind. The thought that he loved her, wholly and completely, played over inside his mind, a cacophonous symphony that refused to die. He wanted to say it to her, cover her body in his as he drove the point home…but he didn't. And as his restraint held his tongue, CJ felt the moment disappear, leaving only traces of it, senses of that déjà vu that had haunted him his entire life.
"CJ--" Dawn said, worry evident in her tone. He felt her thin fingers against his thigh and shook his head, brushing away the haze of confusion.
"Yeah?"
"What just happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"You kinda went catatonic-Buffy for a minute there," Buffy said. On his confusing look, she shrugged. "It was a thing."
"Are you sure you're okay?" Dawn asked, stroking his leg, her brow twisted in a worried frown.
CJ smiled wearily and patted Dawn's cheek, "I'm okay, Em, really I am."
All traces of a smile vanished when several pairs of eyes stared at him in shock.
"Who's 'Em'?" Cordelia asked, her eyes drifting from Xander to Buffy to the others.
"Beats me," Faith said, and shrugged. "I only work here."
But before anyone could speak, Buffy and Cordelia stiffened, and their eyes met. The room burned with power as something the others couldn't discern passed between slayer and seer.
"Buffy? Cordelia?" Willow said, and glanced at Tara for reassurance before facing her two old friends. "Are you okay?"
The question seemed to snap both of them out of the daze and when they glanced back at the group everyone saw the sheer terror written across both women's faces.
"Buffy…" Dawn said, and stood. She walked over to her sister but did not touch her, afraid to disturb the slayer. "What's wrong?"
"Daddy…" Jay whispered and all eyes turned to her. "It's gonna kill him."
TBC in Melee…