Disclaimer: Characters are still not mine.

Credit and love to Riene for helping me with this chapter :)

A/N: Sorry this update took so long guys! I was having some issues…lol.

florence: Thank you so much for your continued comments, I really appreciate them :)

Riene: Hope your not too disappointed with me, I tried, lol

Thank you so much to all of my reviewers! You guys leave such wonderful comments and I really cant thank you enough. You're all awesome :)

Attention!!!

Approximately two months have passed between this chapter and the last one. Christine is now a little shy of five months pregnant.

And now, on with the chapter :)

Christine struggled desperately. She twisted and turned, jumped up and down, pulled as hard as she could, but it was no use. With one last tug she realized that she had been defeated. She threw the corset to the ground in disgust. It just wouldn't fit.

It was true, for weeks now she had been forced to lace the corset looser and looser, but now, it wouldn't fit at all. Christine looked down at her body, repulsed by what she saw. Her hand went to her stomach and as she ran it slowly down her abdomen she felt a tremor of revulsion and self-loathing run through her.

The tears came quickly and without warning. In seconds she was a sobbing mess on the floor. She stared angrily at the corset just a foot away. She snatched it up and began to tear at it ferociously. She was furious when the material refused to rip. With a last futile tug, she let it fall from her fingers. Sobbing louder, she glared at it; it was mocking her she knew.

This was one of the most horrifying moments of her life as she realized that she was pregnant… Just a moment…she already knew that of course, but Christine, as she had cried out that statement to Meg and then again to Erik, hadn't truly realized what would happen to her. Of course she knew of the horrors of pregnancy, but somehow when she had thought of them, they had always seemed to exclude her. Now she finally knew what it meant. She was pregnant.

Again her hand went to her stomach. She felt it slowly, letting the image of a child growing inside of her sink in. Her shoulders sank as if a weight had been lowered on them as she did something she had avoided doing for the last two months, she looked forward, toward the future. She realized what was going to happen to her…

Another sob escaped her throat and she threw herself forward, letting her head drop onto her arms. She had not known it was possible to cry quite this hard. But suddenly it was all so unfair. She couldn't understand why she hadn't thought about this before. If she had just let the idea come slowly, maybe it wouldn't have been so terrible. Christine had desperately tried to block out the horror of it all and now it struck her with terrible force.

"Christine?"

Christine sat up with a start, quickly stifling the sob, which nearly choked her, as a knock came at the door. Erik was out there.

Erik was out there…

Christine couldn't speak, her sobs were choking her, her throat was so tight from trying to restrain them that she could barely breathe.

When she did not respond, Erik knocked again. "Christine? Are you all right?"

Christine swallowed harshly, forcing sound to come out of her mouth. "Yes Erik," she managed to choke.

She could almost see Erik frowning through the door, but he continued, choosing not to question her further. "Breakfast is ready, my dear."

Breakfast? With Erik? Christine thought frantically, she couldn't go out there, not like this, not  looking like this!

"I'm…I'm not hungry Erik," she managed.

Now she was sure Erik was frowning. "Are…are you feeling all right?" he questioned carefully.

He knew something was wrong. What if he demanded that she come out?

"Yes…I mean no, I'm not feeling well," Christine said, deciding it was easier to agree with him than try to think up an excuse on her own.

There was a long pause, at last Erik said. "Very well. I shall prepare something for you later if you are feeling better."

"Thank you…" she said, even though she knew that Erik hadn't believed one word she had told him.

And it was true, Erik stood outside the door for a several moments longer, frowning just as Christine had imagined. It worried him that she felt that she had to lie to him… Why was she so insistent on his departure? Erik knew something was wrong, but had learned that it was not always worth it to attempt to pry Christine out of her room if she was bent on staying put. Reluctantly, he turned away, convincing himself that she would talk to him later if something was really bothering her… She knew full well that she could always talk to him.

After a few minutes Christine stood up slowly and went to her wardrobe. She stared at the dresses hanging there, knowing that they would never fit… She felt each one experimentally, tugging on the material slightly. At last she found one with an amount of give to the fabric and pulled it out, laying it on the bed.

In a daze she pulled on her chemise, then turned back to face the dress. Slowly she picked it up. Silently praying that it would fit, she slipped it over her head. She pulled it down her body gently, and with a great tug it slipped over her stomach. The rest fell down, the material brushing her ankles. She looked toward the ceiling, afraid to look down, unable to bare the thought of her disgusting body.

She took a deep breath and let her head drop. Her hand came to her mouth in horror as she saw the dress stretched grotesquely over the bulge that had been her stomach.

Covering her eyes with her hands, she fell to her knees weeping.

She was pregnant.

These last two months had been…almost blissful. It had been so easy, too easy, to just block everything out. With Erik, the rest of the world could be so easily forgotten. She had even started to sing on occasion, something she hadn't done for months. But now reality had returned. She had wrapped herself in denial, in the safe cocoon Erik had wrapped protectively around her, but she could no longer do so.

She was pregnant.

She had been raped.

Christine had never told anyone the details of this…not even Meg. She knew she had caused them more pain than it was worth, perhaps it would have been a comfort if they knew…but she hadn't been able to bring herself to discuss it and no one had asked or expected her to.

She knew what had happened. There had been three of them… She remembered she had been forced to the ground. She had screamed constantly, she remembered them shouting at each other to shut her up or someone might hear… She had struggled, they had beaten her. She remembered that… She remembered their hands… But mostly the pain as the blows struck her head. She had been nearly unconscious… She remembered…no…she didn't remember… Christine shook her head, trying to clear the fog that seemed to cloud her mind whenever she thought of it.

But had she bothered to tell anyone about this? No… She realized now what she must have put Erik through. To know that, to imagine the vivid memories she must harbor… But she did not have vivid memories…

Sighing, she opened her eyes, the view of her stomach greeting her immediately. She stood abruptly. She wouldn't leave the room. Yes, she couldn't let anyone see her like this. She couldn't let Erik see her like this.

Christine resolutely crossed the room and seated herself in the chair beside the small fireplace. She soon found that when one has troubles, it is not the best thing to simply sit with nothing else to occupy one's time.

She needed to read. When she read, she could escape into the story and not have to think about her own life. She reached toward her night table, but stopped when she saw that the book she had been reading was not there.

She tried to remember the last time she had read it. Sighing deeply, she remembered that she had left the novel in the sitting room, on the table beside the divan. Well, going to get it was out of the question so Christine just sank back into the chair.

Staring into a fire is a good activity when one wishes to mull over one's thoughts, but when that is the last thing a person wants to do…

Christine stood abruptly and began to pace the room. Surely there was something in this room that could occupy her time. Finding nothing of any real interest, she sat down at her vanity and began to meticulously brush her hair. She split her hair into several sections and counted one hundred strokes for each one. She finished quite sometime later. She stared into the mirror before her, running her fingers through her hair, savoring how soft it was.

She stood up and again wished she had brought her book to bed with her the night before. Maybe…maybe she could sneak out of her room quickly, grab the book, and run back in.  Maybe Erik wouldn't be there… Maybe he was busy…

Deciding to make an attempt to rescue her book, Christine looked around for something to cover herself. Opening the wardrobe, she found a large shawl and wrapped it carefully around herself.

Holding it tightly shut, she went to the door.

"Erik?" she called, softly enough so that he could only have heard her if he was in the sitting room. If he was in his study…if the door was closed…he needn't know she had left the room.

When he didn't respond, she turned the doorknob tentatively and pushed the door open a crack.

"Erik?" she called again, softer this time.

She pushed the door open enough so that she could stick her head out and look into the room. It was empty.

She easily spotted her book. Making sure the shawl covered her well enough, she tiptoed into the room. She made her way carefully to the table, snatched up the book and was preparing to make a run back to her room when she was stopped by a voice from behind her.

"You've come out of your room I see."

Startled, Christine let out a small cry and dropped the book. Keeping her back to Erik, Christine said, "Yes…I just wanted my book."

"Are you still feeling poorly?" Erik asked, concerned.

Christine faltered slightly, but managed to continue, "…Yes, I've been asleep…I wanted my book," she repeated. Having her back to him was extremely awkward.

"Would you like me to bring you anything?" Erik asked.

Christine shook her head quickly, "No, no, I'll be fine." She bent down to pick up her book, praying that Erik would leave the room.

As she straightened, she adjusted the shawl again, to make sure it still fell the way she wanted it to. They stood there for a few moments, both of them refusing to retreat. Christine would not turn around with Erik standing there and Erik would not leave until Christine turned around.

"Christine, what's wrong?" Erik asked. Her odd behavior worried him.

"Nothing Erik, I'll be fine."

"Christine," Erik began. She could hear him walking toward her.

"Stop!" she cried out suddenly.

Erik stopped and narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"Because…because…" Christine thought frantically for an excuse, but thinking of none she put on an irritated air and said, "Just go away Erik! Leave me alone."

Erik paused, unsure if he should leave, if he had done something to offend her in some way, or if he should stay, because something else entirely was bothering her.

"Christine…please," he said, beginning to walk toward her again.

"Erik!" she shouted frantically.

Again he stopped. By this time he was extremely worried, why on earth was she acting so oddly?

"Erik, please, just go away," she said quietly, in a final plea. If he didn't leave now she would have to turn around and face him.

"Christine, something is wrong, perhaps…perhaps I could help you," he said carefully.

Christine's shoulders sagged, "You can't help me Erik."

"Christine, it's rather difficult to discuss this with your back to me."

Christine sighed, she was defeated, she had to turn. She placed the book back on the table, wrapped the shawl tighter around herself, and crossed her arms in front of her stomach. Satisfied that it was very difficult to decipher anything wrong with her body, she turned slowly, keeping her eyes to the floor.

Erik searched her form with his eyes, trying to find something physically wrong with her, but she looked all right… She was standing rather oddly, she didn't normally slouch so, and she was never one to stand with her arms crossed. They normally clasped together in front of her. Of course…this didn't necessarily mean anything, it was simply an observation.

"Now that wasn't so difficult was it?" Erik said lightly.

Christine shifted uncomfortably. Yes Erik, it was.

"May I go now?" Christine said with annoyance in her voice.

Erik narrowed his eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong!" Christine shouted before pushing past him, towards her room.

"Christine wait," he said, catching her arm as she went passed him.

"Let go of me Erik!" she said, frantically trying to cover herself where the shawl had slipped when Erik had grabbed her.

"Christine listen to me," he said, still holding her arm. "Please…why can't you tell me what is going on?"

She looked up at him, saw the hurt in his eyes, suddenly she felt terrible. Why couldn't she tell him? Erik wouldn't care…would he? Who was he to judge someone else's physical beauty? But then Christine remembered in disgust that this was different. He would never treat her the same again. She was just going to be disgusting and enormous and there would be nothing she could do about it.

"I…I…" she stammered, trying to stall so she could make a decision.

At last she sighed, and slowly let the shawl slide from her shoulders. She looked away, her face arranged in an expression of pain and embarrassment, refusing to look at Erik.

Erik raised an eyebrow, confused by this action. He again, looked her over with his eyes. He allowed them to hover for a moment on her abdomen before they swept upward to her face. So that was what all of this was about… He studied her expression and was startled to see a tear rolling down her cheek.

"My dear, please, don't cry," he said, stepping up to her. He gently wiped the tear away and turned her slightly, so she faced him directly.

"Oh, Christine, " Erik sighed, saddened at the despair he saw in her eyes.  She was visibly trembling, as if in anticipation of his rejection.

Instead of granting this, he pulled her into his arms and cradled her gently. "You are so beautiful Christine."

She savored his gentle arms that wrapped her in a blanket of warmth, but pulled away as she thought about what he had just said. She walked to the divan and sat down, crossing her arms in front of her stomach again.

"And you expect me to believe that I suppose?" she said coldly.

"Yes," he said simply.

"How can you tell me such a horrible lie Erik?" Christine questioned sadly.

"It is the truth Christine, whether you choose to believe it, is your choice."

She sighed, refusing to believe his words. "I'm hideous and we both know it," she whispered softly, letting her head drop into her hands.

Erik froze at this announcement. A ringing silence filled the room. He simply stared at Christine, not knowing how to react to this.

At last he turned away sadly, "I believe…" he said slowly, "that we both know that there is only one person in this room who could possibly match that description."

And with that he disappeared into his study, closing the door roughly behind him.

Christine looked up in time to see him go. She instantly felt like the most vile creature on earth. What had she done? How could she have said something like that to him? She didn't think…

She curled herself into a ball on the divan, praying that the blackness she had been plunged into would swallow her whole. It suddenly seemed so futile to remain living when all her continued presence on the earth could do was bring was pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Erik sighed heavily as the door slammed shut. He hated himself for saying that. He had tried to restrain himself… What he had ended up saying was actually a great deal less harsh than what he had originally planned. Now, as if Christine wasn't going through enough, he had added to her conscience. Why couldn't he learn to control himself? He exhaled angrily. He'd return to her and apologize after her calmed down. He wouldn't enjoy this apology, but if it made Christine feel better, even in a small amount, then he would do it. He knew that she hated to think he was angry with her…

It was Christine's hour of need and Erik had left her by herself, feeling guilty. He knew how frightened she must be. She was just a child…a child who had been forced to grow up and shoulder this terrible burden.

In truth …Erik was frightened as well. He had been afraid very few times in his life. The only thing that seemed to scare him was the thought of Christine's sadness. But this was a new feeling for Erik. Christine was pregnant…and he was frightened. It scared him to think what might happen after the baby was born… The baby… For some reason Erik thought that raising a child five stories below an opera house probably wasn't the best thing, but that would mean… No, he wouldn't think of that now. He couldn't be considering himself, he didn't matter. He reminded himself of this constantly. Christine was all that mattered now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meg knocked anxiously on the door of her mother's office. She let her hand fall, shifting her weight rapidly several times.

After what seemed like a very long time to Meg, Madame Giry opened the door.

"Well?" Meg said immediately. "Have you spoken with him?"

Madame Giry sighed, stepping aside to let her daughter enter the office. This was not a conversation that needed to happen in the hall, within hearing of anyone who might pass by.

Meg sat down in the chair in front of her mother's desk, nervously twirling a strand of her hair.

Meg watched her mother close the door, while Madame Giry struggled to maintain her patience.

"Now Meg," she said, "Did I not tell you that I would inform you if I spoke with him?"

"Well…yes, but I thought that maybe…"

Madame Giry held up her hand to stop her. "Meg, please. Constantly pestering me about it will not make him instantly appear." She paused for a moment. "It is odd though…" she said, more to herself than to Meg.

"What if something's wrong, Mama?" Meg said. "Can't you…shouldn't you…go find him or something?"

Madame Giry sat down in the chair beside her daughter and took her hands. "I know how you worry about her Meg, but I'm sure she's fine. It is not my place to get wrapped up in their business."

"But it is our business! Christine is my friend!" Meg said in exasperation. "Isn't there anything you can do? Anything at all?"

Madame Giry stood up again. "I can wait, which is more than I can say for you."

"I don't understand how you can be so calm," Meg said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

"Why shouldn't I be calm?"            she said, walking behind her desk and taking up her cane.

"Where are you going?" Meg asked.

"The same place you're going," Madame Giry answered simply.

"Oh mother, how can you be thinking about dancing?"

"It is my job Meg, now come along."

After a moment, Meg stood up resignedly. Madame Giry stood at the door, holding it open, waiting for Meg to pass.

Meg stopped before walking out of the office, and gave her mother a pleading look.

Madame Giry glared at her daughter, who promptly wiped the look off her face and scurried out the door and down the hall.

"Meg, wait…"

Meg turned at her mother's voice, dreading being reprimanded.

Madame Giry sighed, not quite believing that she was going to give in to her daughter. "I'll see what I can do."

Meg smiled gratefully, then hurried toward the auditorium before her mother needed to remind her again.

Madame Giry sighed, it was unlike her to yield to her daughter's wishes so easily, but…she too was curious. It was rather odd that they had seen nothing of Christine nor Erik in nearly two weeks. Tomorrow she would go see him. Just to make sure everything was all right… Madame Giry shook her head, realizing how silly her thoughts were. If there was something seriously wrong, she was confident that Erik would inform her eventually. But for Meg's sake she would see him. And for her own sake as well…she could no longer stand Meg's constant questions that she had no answer for.

Christine wrapped her pale pink cloak tightly around herself. She knew it would be quite warm in the upper levels of the opera, but she didn't think she could bear the scandal it would cause if she were seen, pregnant. She shuddered at the very thought of what people might say…

She had been fitted for several new dresses about a week ago. It had taken Erik almost a week to convince Christine to leave the house. She had finally agreed when she realized that if Erik was willing to go out for her sake, than she should be willing as well.

It had really surprised Christine, that Erik had been the one to take her for new gowns. She would have thought that he would simply dump her on Madame Giry, unable to bear the burden of doing it himself. But Erik had taken her out. It had meant more to her than she could tell him. Knowing that he was standing just outside, as she went through the humiliation of new measurements, was a great comfort.

She ran her hand lightly over her stomach. At least she was comfortable and no longer painfully squeezed into her old dresses. She often longed for them, dreaming of the day that she could wear them again.

Once again, adjusting her cloak Christine took a deep breath, trying to convince herself she was ready. She hadn't spoken to Meg in…more than two weeks. She sighed as she realized how long it had been. She had made a point to see Meg at least every other day. She was self-conscious about seeing Meg… Even though she knew Meg would never judge her, Christine didn't know if she could bear to see her. Meg, who was so beautiful and petite.

Christine put the thought out of her head. She was going today and that was that. Pulling at her cloak for what seemed the thousandth time, she stepped out of her room.

"Erik?" she called.

After a moment, he emerged from his study.

"I'm going to see Meg, I should return soon," she said, heading for the door.

Erik raised an eyebrow in surprise. Christine, willingly leaving the house…interesting. He walked to the door with her, stopping her before she left.

He smiled softly at her, "You look beautiful Christine."

Christine flushed and looked away. "Thank you Erik."

A moment later she was gone, Erik stood in the doorway, watching her retreat down the passage.

Christine opened the door of the passage that would lead her to the second floor. She nearly screamed as she found herself face to face with Madame Giry.

Stepping back a little she gasped, "Madame, you frightened me. Oh, I'm sorry, do you need to get through?" Christine stepped aside, leaving the door clear.

"No, not anymore. I was just going to find you. Meg has been a little…anxious about your whereabouts. She can get somewhat excited over these things…"

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry I haven't been to see her," Christine said.

"Well I am quite certain all will be forgiven."

"Yes…well, I had better be going. Goodbye Madame Giry," she said, walking quickly down the hall to find Meg.

Madame Giry closed the door carefully, pondering the curious way Christine clutched her cloak around herself.

Christine knocked anxiously on Meg's dressing room door. She was angry with herself, that she had allowed Meg to be worried about her. She hadn't been thinking about such things at all.

"Just a minute!" she heard Meg call, with slight annoyance in her voice.

Christine took this opportunity to, once again, adjust her cloak. She hoped Meg wouldn't notice immediately.

At last the door swung open. Meg took one look at Christine, her face breaking into an enormous smile, and dragged her into the room.

"Christine!" Meg shouted excitedly, but then her smile faded. "Where on earth have you been? Why haven't you been to see me? I was so worried, Christine."

Christine seated herself on the divan calmly and crossing her arms in front of her. "Oh I haven't been far. And you always have the prerogative to come visit me Meg."

Christine watched with mild amusement as Meg's face became at lease three shades whiter.

"Oh Meg, I was just kidding."

Meg laughed dryly, "You are pure evil sometimes Christine."

"Well I'm sure you don't want pure evil in your dressing room, so I'll just take my leave…" Christine said, standing.

"Oh Christine, stop it. Sit down," Meg said, rolling her eyes. "But please," she said, becoming serious. "Why haven't you been to see me? Are you all right?"

Christine sighed and remained standing as Meg sat down. "Not entirely…"

"What's wrong?" Meg asked, frowning at Christine's solemn tone.

Christine turned her back to Meg and slowly removed her cloak. "Promise me that you won't think less of me after this."

Meg frowned again. "Why would I think less of you?"

"Promise me Meg."

"All right, I promise, now what is it?"

Christine closed her eyes for a moment before taking off her cloak and slowly turning around. She looked at Meg and burst into tears.

Meg was up and hugging Christine in an instant. "Oh Christine, shh, don't cry. It's all right."

They stood there for a long time. Meg let Christine cry. Sometimes that's what people really need, a shoulder to cry on.

"Everything will be all right Christine."

A/N: Please Review!