The first thing that I check when I get in the door is my messages. There's thirty-six. I guess that's what happens when you go away for a month without telling anybody. I hit the play button idly. The first message is from Kendall. So is the second. And the third.
This is too hard. So much harder then I ever thought it would be. Her voice, spilling out of the machine, crawling into my ears, knifes into my heart. Tears make their way, unbidden, towards my eyes, and I rub them away roughly. I need to see her.
"Hey." I look up quickly at Greenlee standing in the doorway. I attempt to smile at her, but I'm not sure if I'm successful. Regardless, she doesn't move. She stands there, biting her lip, looking near tears herself. It kills me.
I walk over and wrap my arms around her as she buries her head in my chest. I feel hot wetness leaking onto my shirt but I can't do anything but run my hand through her hair and whisper to her softly. She's my best friend. I hate to see her like this. And yet I can't stop.
The movers interrupt us, and I pull us out of the doorway, clearing my throat. I tell Greenlee to put her stuff wherever she wants. She lives here now too. I smile. She tries too. I have to get out of here.
"I'm gonna go pick us up some dinner, ok? Thai still good for you?" She sniffs and nods to the affirmative, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she doesn't believe that's where I'm going. God, my first day back and already it looks like I'm going down that familiar path of distrust only, this time, dragging Greenlee along with me. I give her shoulder a squeeze and head for the door.
"Ryan." I stop, turn around. "Could you pick up some Cherry Garcia too?" I had forgotten about Greenlee's unnatural fondness for ice cream. She reminds me of Leo so much some times. I miss him. He was like the brother I always wanted, instead of the ones I had but knew nothing about.
I sit in the car for several minutes, letting the engine idle. Now that I'm alone I can let the tears fall freely, except this time they don't come. Figures. I peel out onto the road, going the opposite direction of A Thai and a Place. I knew that I was going to end up at her apartment even before we landed in Pine Valley. I just didn't think that it would be so soon. And that I would be so powerless to stop myself.
But before I do I'm going to do something to help the other woman that I love. I have to fix all the things that I've broken in her. And I can't do that alone.