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It hurt me a little to have to write that last part. But the story is not over.
Chapter 21.
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I didn't bother to hear what else he had to say. I walked next to Tifa and placed my hand gently underneath her chin to bring her eyes up.
She didn't even know I was there.
I turned and left. As I opened the door to leave the nurse said, "Sir…I'm sorry about the girl, but this is the best Life stream recovery hospital in the world. You came to a good place. Perhaps with the medicines and therapy she'll recover a little. But if you want either of these things I'll need…" I turned around, reached in my pocket, and threw down all the money I had on me, which was at least a couple thousand Gil. The nurse's jaw dropped when she saw how much money was suddenly before her. She said thank you, and then said that they would do all they could for her. I turned to leave and suddenly saw Yuffie standing in front of me. Without saying anything, she hugged me. I was surprised by this, but I hugged her back. "Thank you," I said, my voice quivering. She then let go of me, wiped away a tear and went back to the others. I did not join them. I left.
I left the city in the direction of Highwind. Outwardly, my face was emotionless. Inwardly, I was in turmoil.
I reached Highwind and climbed up to the top. One of the crew members saluted me, but I ignored him and went straight for the bathroom.
I stepped in and locked the door. I then went to the sink and stared at the mirror. I sat there for a long time, staring at myself.
When does something that frightens you become something that terrifies you?
When does an event in life become a memory of life?
When does something you enjoy become a lifestyle, or a crutch?
When does a crutch become something worth shedding a tear over?
When do you stop shedding tears and start to cry?
When does crying suddenly become the wails of a bemoaned soul?
All I will say is this: I went into the bathroom with an understanding of where the boundaries between all of these were. I left, having crossed all of them.
Later that night I found myself back at the hospital. I walked in, and saw the rest of the gang in the waiting room. They all looked at me, but none of them said anything. I turned towards Cid. "Cid, I owe you a few bucks. I broke the mirror in Highwind's bathroom." (Just before I left the bathroom, I had broken the mirror into a thousand pieces so I could no longer see myself.) He actually grinned. They all did. It was a well needed distraction.
I sat down and waited. I learned from the gang that the doctor was performing his tests on Tifa to see just how severe her case was and thereby give the best known treatments. We waited for about an hour and then the doctor appeared. "Well," he started, "the good news is it's not as bad as I originally thought." "Really?!" We all said at once. "But the bad news is," he continued, "it's still too much of an advanced case to be able to administer any medication that would help. In fact, I would have declared her condition absolutely incurable, except that there is one person on this planet who had an identical case who somehow miraculously recovered fully." He then pointed to me. "You sir, are that only man. You are a living miracle. To this day I have no idea how you recovered, but because you did, perhaps there is hope for her. On the other hand, I have dealt with victims of Life stream poisoning half as dangerous as your case was and her case is who never even recovered their ability to blink on command.
"I will do what I can for her. We all will. We will all hope for another medical miracle. But I will be the first to say that her chances are next to nothing. I'm sorry." With that he left the room. Yuffie began to cry. Cid put his arm around her and tried his best to keep a straight face. Vincent looked expressionless as always, but behind his eyes you could see the remorse. Barrett lowered his head and said nothing. Red XIII did the same.
I was the only one who did absolutely nothing. I had already let loose the dams behind my eyes. I was all dried up.
I was the first to speak. "We're not going to give up on Tifa. No way. If I recovered, then she can." They all looked up at me. "I'm going to stay here with Tifa," I continued. "She did it for me when I had the poisoning, the least I can do is also stay." "I'll stay too," Barrett said. "Me too," chimed Yuffie. Vincent nodded. I then interrupted them, saying, "I know you guys also want to stay, and I'd appreciate it if you dropped by every once in a while, but I really want to be with her. I'll buy a house or something here and stay as long as it takes." Red XIII then asked, "You mean, forever?" "However long it takes for her to get better," is all I said.
They stayed for about three days. Barrett argued with me. He wanted to bring Meredith down to Mideel so that way he could be with Tifa and Meredith. But I convinced him to just let her stay in Midgar. She had friends there, and Mideel is not a nice town. The town used to be a nice refuge for the traveler, or a good spot to set up a small shop, but ever since Ultima Weapon destroyed half the city, no one except the people who couldn't leave ever cared about it. I finally convinced him that given this, Mideel would not be suitable for a six year old girl.
The others all promised to visit occasionally, but they all had to go on with their lives. They packed up on Highwind, promised that they'd send me some money to support myself and Tifa, and then left.
After they left I went and saw Tifa again. She was sitting on a wheel-chair, continually making those raspy sounds. Her hair had lost its sheen, but I didn't care. Her hands had become rough and her knuckles red, but I didn't care. Her clothes were becoming dirty and stained from spilled food and drool, but I didn't care.
Instead I waited on her hand and foot and spoke to her like a normal human being.
I did this for a week and then Cid, Yuffie, and Barrett came to visit. They also brought with them everything that I had had in my apartment at Midgar, including all my money, plus some extra. "Just in case," Cid said.
I left the hospital for the first time in a week and went looking for a house. It wasn't difficult. There were several houses people were selling here. They were all extremely cheap. I ended up buying two small houses that were adjacent to the hospital. I then contracted a pair of construction workers from across town to tear down the old shacks and build a house. I wanted the house to be nice, but not because I was gaudy and arrogant. I secretly had convinced myself against hope that someday Tifa would get better. And then in that case, we would give the large house to the next-door hospital and let them do with it as they please.
The house took a few months to build, during which time I did two things: stay with Tifa, stroking her hand, talking with her, etc…and training myself to be a handyman. I learned the ins and outs of building a house from these two men I contracted. I learned how to be a plumber. I even taught myself how to fix and repair weapons, not just sharpen them as I had always done. I set off a special section of my new home for this purpose, and then went to work.
I'd like to say that Tifa had gotten better during this period.
She hadn't.
Four months passed by and my house was done. It was a single story, although it had a large attic, all the rooms were large and square shaped (again, so that way it would be easily converted into a wing of the hospital…hopefully), and there were absolutely no stairs anywhere in the house. With all the work that had been involved in building this house, I now knew enough to consider myself a master house builder, as well as an amateur plumber, electrician, and blacksmith. These new skills became invaluable, because for the first year, they were the only way I made any money at all. Now, I could have gone back and become a mercenary. There is good money in being a mercenary, and I knew the trade like the back of my hand.
But I absolutely refused to leave Tifa. She never left me. Why should I leave?
As time passed, the visits from the others became more and more infrequent. This did not surprise me but hurt all the same. I think Vincent's visit at the one year anniversary of Jenova's death was the only surprise. He had never returned to visit Tifa after they had left a year ago. And in fact, he was the only one within our gang who seemed to even remember that one year ago today, Tifa lost her mind.
I cannot say I wasn't tempted during the past year. First of all, I had my whole life ahead of me. Why shouldn't I go and live? The other temptation was women. There were several beautiful, young, energetic girls in Mideel. They all had tans to die for, as well as youthful jungle faces and hair that were thrilling.
On top of that, I had become a bit of a legend around town. My efforts for Tifa, my patron like charity in the hospital, as well as the news of my past adventures and exploits soon sent me into kind of the town saint and hero. I literally could have married any girl in town over the age of fifteen just by asking their dad. Heck, I wouldn't have needed to even marry her. I was famous here. And though it sounds arrogant, I was revered here.
But, one thing stopped me from letting my human desires run rampant.
I loved Tifa.
I loved her with all my heart. Ever since the moment I kissed Aerieth, I had finally realized what real love was, because it was then that I knew that there was no one else in the world I felt so strongly about, and nor would ever feel as strong about. My year as her caretaker only made this bond stronger.
I'd like to think that she knew what I was doing for her, but I doubt it. I never remembered anything during my recovery period, and sense her case was practically identical to my own, she was probably no different. But I learned to expect this, and to hold her hand and joke with her and wash her hair and work her atrophied muscles all the same.
Up until that point, it was the most rewarding as well as depressing time of my life.