Disclaimer: I don't own this characters, Maki Murakami does. Also this lyrics aren't mine, they belong to Darren Hayes, or at lest I think they do, I combined three of his songs, more info at the bottom.
Shuichi arrived at Hiro's apartment around eleven, tired and depressed and in need of the comfort only his best friend could give him. Hopefully Hiro had rested enough and would be happy to see Shu. Not that Hiro would ever complain of receiving the singer, no matter how tired or busy he was.
He knocked on the door quietly. It had been a long time since last Yuki had kicked him out of the apartment, so Shu felt very humiliated, especially since it was his apartment too, and because of that he almost wished Hiro wouldn't answer the door.
The other man apparently didn't know anything about said wish, and proceeded to open the door. One look was enough for Hiro to understand what had happened. He sighed and told Shu –I was wondering when you'd arrive Shuichi.
The pink haired singer slept in a couch again that night, and spent the next day with Hiro playing videogames and eating pizza. On Tuesday, their last 'free' day, as Shu dramatically called it, they went to visit Ayaka in Kyoto. Shuichi visited different places while his best friend had a date with her. Still that night he didn't sleep at all, even though he was tired from the trip. He kept thinking about Yuki.
Do you love me?
Or am I just another trip in this strange relationship?
You push and pull me
and I'm about to loose my mind
Is this just a waste of time
Why had the writer been so cruel with him? He was trying to make up, yes, but he wasn't trying to get more than a smile or a hug, or something that would reassure him that they were ok.
Keep acting like you own me
I keep running, watch me walking out that door
I hear you behind me
Over and over again Shu asked himself if he should have just kept quiet. If he hadn't talked maybe Yuki wouldn't have gotten mad at him.
Gimme that strange relationship
Never felt pleasure and pain like this
Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong
I keep holding on
No, it wasn't his fault. He loved Yuki, he was always telling him that, so why should that night be different?
Gimme that strange relationship
One of us gotta let go of this
I keep pushing and you keep holding on
I'm already gone
Lately all had been so messed up. And he hadn't taken into account that Bad Luck had a three-month tour that would start next week.
Do you love me?
We break up and back together
And I swore to myself never
And Yuki's deadline was this Thursday. The writer would probably sleep all day long on Friday, which left only the weekend for them to be together.
Oh how you do me
You strip me of my honor
And I don't ever think I'm gonna
Break free of these mind games
All I'm trying to do is modify my plan
'Cause I can't contain you
Maybe he should go in the morning and apologize again even if he hadn't done anything wrong? And let Yuki get away with this again?
I've been broken, shut down and useless
Feet above me
Hands in the air
You got me falling over and over
You got me twisted tied up and tangled
What to do? That was his eternal question when it came down to Yuki. He felt so tired now, tired as he had never been, tired of being treated like he was worthless when he was definitely not, tired of being kicked out and then received again without even an apology.
I do it all for you
You know I've been a fool for you
I thought I tripped on a shoelace
I look down and it's only you
After all they had been through Shuichi had always persevered because he loved Yuki, and because he felt that that cold man was worth all the trouble and chaos he had brought into his life. Because before he meet Yuki, Shuichi had lived a relatively nice and easy existence, going to school, writing and composing songs for his debut album, hanging around with Hiro...
I've been put down, picked up and put off
I've been held up, pushed and shoved around
You got me falling over and over
I've been drifting this side and upside down
Was Yuki really that important, that worthy? What had Yuki given him so he should endure all that cold treatment? After all those months together, didn't he deserve more than fights?
I do it all for you
You know I'll be a fool for you
I keep thinking I've lost something
I look down and it's only you
Maybe... maybe he should listen to Hiro and give up. Find someone new, someone that loved him the way he loved and wanted to be loved...
--
--
Gimme a reason
Why I'm feeling so blue
Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is you
Yuki took out the pack of cigarettes and groaned when he saw it was empty. Angrily he threw the package to the floor. Damn stupid writer's block, why did it have to happen now, two days before his deadline? He knew how he wanted his novel to end, but every time he sat in front of his laptop he couldn't find the words to express it. And the reason behind this was that every single time he tried to do anything all he could do was wonder what that pink haired ball of trouble would be doing.
Gimme a reason
Why I can't feel my heart
Every time you leave my side, I just fall apart
He knew he shouldn't have talked like that to Shuichi after the boy had obviously made an effort to improve things between the two. Trust Yuki Eiri to ruin a perfect opportunity like that to make up with his lover. And after he had opened his big mouth and said those horrible words instead, he had closed the door behind him and let Shu go, with certainty, to Nakano's place.
And when you're fast asleep, I wonder where you go
Can you tell me, I wanna know
Only after hearing his lover's quiet sobs had he realized how stupid he had been and opened the door, just to find the singer was gone. As usual he had regained his senses too late. After that he had been in a worse mood, if that was even possible, than usual. He wished he could see Shuichi's innocent face sleeping by his side and hear his constant chattering again.
Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, beautiful
These three words have said it all
That had been happening for some time now, before the stupid fight that Friday or that date he had so easily ruined on Sunday. The truth was he missed Shuichi, and had been missing him for some time now.
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong
I don't need to carry on
And all because their work had coincided and both had been too busy and stressed to make an effort to be with the other, especially from his side. Shu was always making an extra attempt to spend some time with him, so he had selfishly resented when this time he hadn't.
Gimme a reason
Why I can't concentrate
The world is turning upside down
Spinning round and round
But did he deserve that? After all Shu had done for him did he have the right to complain? After all, when had been the last time he had done anything nice for his young lover?
Gimme a reason
Why I now understand
The beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me
At that moment the long forgotten fears came back with an intensity Yuki hadn't felt before. What if Shuichi decided he was better off without him? Because the reality was he would probably be better off alone. And knowing Nakano he would surely try to make Shu see things that way. What if this time Shu didn't come back? The boy would certainly have no trouble buying an apartment for himself, not to mention find someone to share it with...
You got a way of spreading magic everywhere
Anywhere I go, I know you're always there
It sounds ridiculous, but when you leave a room
There's a part of me that just wants to follow you too
And with his caring and loving personality, combined with his good looks and his talent as a singer, how long would it take before Shuichi found someone that gave him everything he wanted? At that last thought Yuki shook his head and cursed, why hadn't he gone after Shu that day?
It's such a hard life in most of the time
I'm just surviving
That's why I want you to know
He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't lose him. After all that happened, all the pain he had gone through, he had to find Shuichi. That boy had given him so many things, when before he had just been letting everyday pass.
In the world where sincerity has lost its meaning
You fill my world with so much hope
Shuichi had given him love, had taught him patiently how to love again. He had brought light and happiness again to his life. When he had thought everything was meaningless Shuichi had given him hope.
--
--
How many forms can indecision take?
When does the warning light appear before a man breaks?
Mine is a restless heart don't try to fix it
You know sometimes, sometimes I want it to ache
Shuichi inhaled deeply before opening the door of the apartment. It was Thursday. If everything had gone as usual, Yuki would be out giving his editor his latest novel.
Everything I am has been neatly contained intothe contents of a Samsonite bag
Shuichi walked right to his room and began to take some things he knew he would need later. His pajamas, his pillow, some clothes... Everything he took was put on the bed. He sighed and walked to the door of the room towards the kitchen. He wouldn't need it, but he was getting his oversized mug as well...
You know I miss you
And this all I wanna say
You know I miss you
And this is all I wanna do
-Leaving already?- A deep voice asked him. Shuichi looked up just to meet the fierce look of Yuki's eyes. –Not even a note? I thought I deserved at least that-. Shuichi looked around nervously. He didn't expect him to be there, he didn't know what to do...
I know it doesn't sound too cool
But maybe I'm in love with you
-I'm sorry-.
Shuichi open his eyes wide in surprise.
–I know I acted like a jerk... Maybe you are right, I am a heartless bastard...-
Shuichi was about to speak when Yuki talked again. –Don't leave.
I just miss you
Yeah, it's true
I miss you, baby
And when you're walking out that door
I know I miss you
It wasn't an order, but a plea. Shuichi looked down for a second, lost for words for once. -Yuki...- Shuichi smiled at him. –I thought you wouldn't be here, that's why I came for this stuff-. Yuki looked at him in disbelief, was he serious? Was he leaving him? Shuichi tried hard not to laugh at his expression. –After what happened I thought we needed some time apart and I need this stuff because I don't have more clothes at Hiro's!
You make me wanna ask for more
I just miss you
Yeah, it's true
I miss you, baby
Yuki stared at him, still insecure of what he had just heard. Shuichi hugged him and then whispered –I'm not gonna give up on you, Yuki. Never.
Me, a laptop, 2 suitcases and I'm coming to see you
whether you like it or not
Whether you like it or not
And with that he smiled at Yuki and kissed him. –I love you Yuki-. Yuki shook his head and then much to Shu's surprise he said –I don't think I deserve it, but it's good to know I'm not the only one who is stupidly in love in here.
-
-
The songs I used are 'Strange Relationship', 'I Miss You' and 'Like it ot Not', from his album 'Spin'.
And yes, I know it's a bit different from the previous one, but I couldn't help it, no idea why it happened that way, but since Clari thought it was good (and I agree with her =3) I thought I should post it.
Thanks to the following people who reviewed by the time I uploaded this:
tati
MangeIam
gravi addict
chibisanzo
Suki
goku-the-saru
Kloudy Reignfall
Shila
clari chan
wonderful teru
And yeah, we all agree Yuki is a jerk sometimes, but hopefully he made up for that on this chapter.
THE END