Hi! The 5th adventure of Ash and co...
Thanks Misty, and I'll give a shout to Tsunami for the Pika Pika Monologue, which was pretty sad. Also, does anyone know where Saving Harvest Moon is? [I know now, of course: gone. Boo hoo.] Send me the answers, and ideas, in with reviews.
Anyway, it's time for the second adventure in Goldenrod, which I entitle...

Nobody Likes A Clever-Clogs

This claimer: Eh? It's not this claimer, because I'm saying I don't own Pokemon but do own Ad. I'll check, you read.


Ash woke up first. He shook Pikachu slowly awake from his side, and got up. He walked away, out of the gym. Pikachu paused for a moment, and then ran happily after Ash. Ash walked down to the Pokémon Centre. He looked down at his feet, and saw Pikachu clinging happily to his leg. He smiled, and continued. At the Centre, Ash picked up Pikachu and put him on the counter with the PokéBalls. Pikachu smiled as he lay on the stretcher. It didn't take long before Pikachu came happily back to Ash, along with the other Pokémon. Ash clipped them onto his belt, and carried Pikachu, who was curled in his arm, back to the gym. He laid him on his blanket, and then took a walk around the Gym. He was worried. Since yesterday, he had been confused. What did Misty do last night? He looked to her. She was curled up in her sleeping bag. He walked over to her, kneeled down, and smiled. Then he went back into his bed and fell asleep.

After a while, when Misty awakened, Ash had fallen asleep. She sat up, and rubbed her eyes. Then she put her hands under her head and lay down again. She stared at the ceiling and thought. Why had she done that last night? It had felt so right... She wondered if she would ever have an opportunity to admit to Ash that she loved him. With all these troubles bounding around in her head, she fell in to a dazed sleep.

At 9.00 in the morning, the cockerel of Goldenrod crowed. Everyone in the gym woke up slowly. Whitney disappeared into the kitchen for a moment.
Brock pondered something for a second. "Do they still get Moo-Moo Milk deliveries?" he said to Ash.
"Probably," he answered. "The farm isn't that far away."
Whitney came out of the kitchen wearing an apron, and asked the gang what they wanted.
"You do have Moo-Moo Milk, right? It's good for Pokémon. Isn't that right, Pikachu?"
"Pika!"
Whitney grinned. "Yep, I do. After breakfast, we can go down to the Underground Passage. It's open today."

After breakfast, the gang went down to the Passage. It had just opened. The gang walked down the passage, and didn't notice Ash being pulled aside by a woman in a weird cape.
"I can sell you Herbs. They can heal your Pokémon."
"Wow! I'll buy some Potion-effect herbs, please."
The woman handed over a parcel of herbs. "Have a nice day,son."
Ash ran and caught up with the rest of the gang.
"Hey, Pikachu! I got some nice Herbs for you!"
"Pika!" the electric mouse cried happily. It grabbed the Herbs and ate them.
"Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiika!" it screeched. It dug inside its mouth, took the Herbs out and buried them.
"What's wrong, Pikachu?" asked Ash. Pikachu held out a Bitter Berry. "Pika!"
"It's too bitter? Don't worry, I won't get any more."
"Pika," Pikachu said nodding its head, and they continued down the passage.

The passage was quite crowded, with people shopping. There was a Pokémon hairdresser there, where Whiney considered stopping, but was pushed along by a lot of angry glares from the rest of the crew; and some more herb shops, which Pikachu insisted on ignoring.

Opposite one of those shops, Ad stopped. There was a block of large rock there. Ad started rapping on it with his fist. There was some shuffling behind it. A large party of students passed in front of them, and when they had gone, so had the gang.

"Hey, thanks, Simon. You don't know how hard it is to conceal these places. I don't understand why you set up your gym here in the first place."
"Oh, I had everything worked out." The tall man wearing glasses smiled. "I always do."
The gym was at the end of a rocky staircase, which was hidden behind the rock. The gym itself was rather like Sabrina's, with pictures of eyes hung on the walls.
("All rather intimidating, to be honest," commented Misty.)
The man, Simon, was standing at the opposite end of the gym. His back was turned to the gang, but his head was turned so Ash could see his profile. This was how he knew about the glasses. The man suddenly turned around. He was holding a book (in the same style as Maxwell the ham- ham), with a desk behind him. The desk had two PokéBalls on it.
"Hello, children. What do you want here? To have a look around the Museum?"
"No," Ash cried. "We want to have a Pokémon Battle!"
Simon looked taken aback. "That is not very wise. Are you sure you would rather not learn about my style of battling first?"
"Yes, I am sure! So let's battle! Pikachu, go!"
"Very well then. Alakazam, Xatu: go!" Simon threw the two Balls in the air.
"That's cheating!" said Ash, alarmed.
"It isn't. If you look around the Museum, it is perfectly legal. Alakazam, use Psybeam. Then, Xatu, use Confusion. GO!"
The Pokémon both concentrated. A beam shot out of Alakazam's spoons and hit Pikachu straight on. The Pokémon struggled to its feet, to be knocked over by the waves emitted by Xatu. Pikachu couldn't stand it, and fainted.
"Go, Bulbasaur!" shouted Ash. "I'll stay with mine, as if I have any choice," said Simon. The green plant-like Pokémon burst out of its ball. It dug its feet into the ground of the gym. Alakazam and Xatu were unruffled. Alakazam poured out another beam, and Xatu sent out another wave. Bulbasaur, however, managed to hold on. It used Razor Leaf on Xatu. But with its incredible intelligence, Xatu saw it coming, and easily dodged. Alakazam used Psybeam whilst Bulbasaur was distracted, and the fight was over.
"What were you doing? None of that was fair!" shouted Ash angrily. Simon looked calmly on.
"Oh, but it is," he smiled. "In the Museum, it details it fully. Perhaps it would increase your knowledge if you had a look around."
"I don't need teaching from some stinkin' unfair Gym Leader!" said Ash, storming out of the gym. The rest of the gang sighed, and ran after him.

Ash sat in the waiting room of the Pokémon Centre. He miserably flipped open his Pokédex. He typed in 'cheating by using two Pokémon' and waited for the answer to flash up.
"Your search results for 'using two Pokémon'. Using two Pokémon at once is now legal under the Tag-Team Battle Act. Additional information can be gained from the Museum in the Goldenrod Passage, or at any Pokémon Centre." In a quieter voice, it added, "Thank you for using Pokoogle search engine."
Ash angrily marched up to the counter, and passed the Pokédex to Nurse Joy. She bent down and heaved a long book out from under the table. She turned to the Contents page, and ran her finger down it. She stopped.
"Here you are young man. The Tag-Team Battle Act is here on page 4,785. The Museum is near here - "
Ash took the book, looked angrily at the nurse, and stomped back to the waiting room. Nurse Joy shook her head.
"Kids today...won't believe anything they don't know for themselves. He's probably been beaten by Simon. Why do kids never look in his Museum first?"

The Chanseys wheeled Pikachu back on the stretcher a few minutes later. Ash was stubbornly reading the Act, and would not be disturbed, so the Chanseys left Pikachu on the seat. He happily bounded up to Ash, but Ash was angry.
"Get off of me, Pikachu," he said, swiping at the well-meaning rodent. Pikachu's ears drooped. He turned away and went over to Misty. She stroked him.
"Don't worry Pikachu, he can just be a little stubborn sometimes." She looked up into the sky. "Believe me, I should know."

A long while later, Ash slid down from his chair, closed the book, and slammed it onto the counter. He grunted and walked out. Misty rushed after him.
"Ash, you've forgotten your PokéBalls! And Pikachu!" Ash slowly turned around.
"I want to be left on my own."
Misty stepped back. "Ash is really miserable," she thought, "I've got to do something."

At the gym, Ash looked through the Museum. A man crept up behind him. "So. You came back."
"Back off. I don't want to fight. I want to know how to thrash you."
Simon backed away. "Wise boy," he said. "Knowledge will get you everywhere. That is what my Pokémon know."
Ash looked at the walls of the maze-like Museum. They were covered in pictures of battles, and combinations of Pokémon. He looked to see if there were any he had. But he couldn't find any. The closest one he could find was a picture of a Magmar and a Nuzleaf working together. He copied it into the notepad Tracey had given him. Then he sat and thought.
From above, Simon watched him. He smiled. Then, he took out a pen, and wrote the name 'Ash Ketchum' on a slip of paper. He looked at a blank wall.
"This will be the first name to go on there," he thought.
Above the wall was the label 'Successful Opponents.'

Ash walked into the Pokémon Centre a bit happier. He had formulated a plan. He walked up to the counter and got Bulbasaur and Charmander, and told Joy to put the rest in the computer. Joy smiled, and did as was asked of her. Ash walked over to the rest of the group. They had gone. He span around, and saw a sign saying 'Beds'. He walked in, and shook his friends awake. He motioned to them with his hands, and they all set off to the gym.

Ash walked through the door of the gym. Simon turned.
"I've come to challenge you!" Ash shouted. "And this time, I know what to do."
"Good. Xatu, Alakazam, go!" shouted Simon.
"Bulbasaur, Charmander, I choose you!" said Ash.
"Alakazam, freeze both of them with your Psywave!" cried Simon. Alakazam fired a wave of energy, but Ash's Pokémon both managed to clear it. Xatu used Lock On. The next attack would hit Bulbasaur full on. Simon smiled a wry smile, thinking Ash would waste a turn protecting both Pokémon.
"Bulbasaur, use Endure!" cried Ash.
Simon murmured "So far, so good," to himself.
"Now, Charmander, use Flamethrower!"
Alakazam's eyes widened. He wasn't prepared for this. The flames hit him straight on and he keeled backwards. It was far too hot for him. He slowly rocked backwards, and fainted. Xatu would have to fight on its own. It sang sweetly to itself as Ash waited to attack. It froze. Simon slowly said "Your turn." Ash gasped.
"Wha-" He recomposed himself.
"Charmander, Bulbasaur, use Tackle!" The two Pokémon charged into Xatu. It blundered backwards, and then flew into the air. As Bulbasaur stepped back, it flew down and slammed into it.
"Wing Attack," Simon explained.
Bulbasaur immediately used Recover. Charmander stepped in front of it, and used Flame Wheel. It narrowly missed Xatu.
"Use Take Down!" said Simon. Xatu leant back, then charged into Ash's Pokémon. It weakly staggered back. Just as Ash was about to cry "Recover!" Simon paused the match.
"Do you know what attack was played three rounds ago? It was Perish Song. Three rounds after it is played, everyone in the battle faints."
"You mean-" stuttered Ash.
"That's right," Simon said. "You have one turn to win the battle."

Ash thought. How could he combine Charmander and Bulbasaur's powers to win the match? His mind flashed back to the Magmar and Nuzleaf picture. He smiled as he realized what to do.
"Bulbasaur, hold out your Vine Whip." Bulbasaur did so.
Ash slipped down and whispered to Charmander. Charmander nodded. He turned to Bulbasaur, and a jet of flame burst from his mouth. Bulbasaur's Vine Whip ignited. Panic-stricken, Bulbasaur slammed the Vine Whip into Xatu. The force of the flaming whip threw Xatu into the wall, out for the count. Ash had won the battle.

"Well done," said Simon to Ash as they shook hands. "You've earned this." He held out an eye-shaped Badge with 1089, 37, 3.1416 and 1.618 emblazed on it.
"It's the IQ Badge," said Simon, seeing Ash's puzzled look.
Ash looked up at Simon, and cheered. "Alright! I got another Badge!"

And so we leave our friends as they leave the passage and head off to their next adventure.

Like it? Due to a mix up in chapter order, buy this chapter get one (Chappie 6) ABSOLUTELY free!
The special numbers (including pi and phi) will be worshipped by any Murderous Maths readers on Tuesdays and Thursdays at your nearest church.

See y'all in chap. 7!