Chapter 2: In Hiding?
"Where are we, Adrienne?" Hayley said, looking around. She had ended up in a tree, looking down at her friends. And her husband. Who happened to be Jack Sparrow, eternal hottie of the Caribbean.
"Hm-hm hmm m mrr." she heard, and saw Adrienne down below her, not not making out with Malfoy. Draco. Whatev.
"I don't know where we are." she managed to say, as Draco licked her neck.
Ron vomited all over the floor. And Pippin stared in awe.
"It's EVERYWHERE." he said, and gaped at the vomit.
Aragorn had brought along his chicken lover, Jessica Simpson. Okay, maybe it wasn't Jessica Simpson. It was Christina Aguliera.
You could tell by the studded chaps and sparkly undies.
UNDIES.
Or knickers, for those across the pond. Hi there!
"Oh my gah, there's a pond full of Jello!" Jenny Penny said, and ran to the pond.
"I think we're in somebody's dream." said a kid with a lightening bolt scar. He had just APPEARED.
....came out of nowhere....
"Dammit, this always happens! Last time we were in a stoner's dream and My Little Pony was chasing us."
"Your Little Pony?" Merry asked.
"MY Little Pony." Hayley confirmed.
"The one with the little jewel on it's head?" said Jack.
"No, the one with the rainbow tail!" Gandalf said, sounding frightened.
Aragorn was dancing with the chicken. Doing the chicken dance, of all dances.
Gimli joined in reluctantly, shaking his bon-bon, for all to see.
And then Ricky Martin appeared, singing that stupid song. That everyone hates. Because it's Ricky Martin.
So William Hung appeared and strangled Ricky Martin with his belt, because that's what you do to annoying pop stars.
SO ANYWHOODLES!
Draco was trying hard to make-out with Adrienne and beat up that kid with the scar on his head.
"Who IS he?" Jen H. asked.
"He looks so familiar." Diana said.
"VALAR'S GREAT BIG JOCKSTRAP, YOU FOUND US!" Legolas yelled
"Why did you have to go through such a long spiel?" Jenny said.
"Well, I had to make it sounds like 'Crap, let's run.', you know?"
"Why didn't you just say that?"
Legolas stood for a second, dumbfounded. "Okay. CRAP, LET'S RUN!"
So they ran. But not for very far.
For they ran into...
THE WALL.
"The Wall? What is THAT doing here?" said the kid with the scar.
"They sealed up the gateway! To Platform 9 and 3/4!"Ron said.
"Wrong story, Ron, you pollock!" said Hermione Granger. She just APPEARED.
...came out of nowhere...
"Twice in one chapter? WHAT THE CWAP?" said Orlando Bloom's booming voice. "AND THERE ARE NO WALMARTS IN ENGLAND!"
"What the hell? No Walmarts? They have McDonalds, but no Walmart?" Diana said angrily.
"Back to the story!" Adrienne commanded, no longer making out with Draco. She looked miffed.
"OR the Future." Merry said.
"We might have to call in Huey Lewis." Pippin said.
"Hey, my mom worked with him!" Hayley said. Jack was carrying her, for some reason.
"Cool!" Pippin said. "He's my idol."
"Okay, well, anyway, what's The Wall doing here?" the kid with the scar asked.
"Who ARE you?" everyone asked in unison.
"Oh, come on, that joke has gone on for too long. You know I'm Kevin Bacon."
"No you aren't." Hermione said, in her usual know-it-all tone. "You're Harry-"
"DON'T SAY IT!" Kid-With-Scar-who-we-just-found-out-was-named-Harry said.
"-Potter."
"Oh, okay. I knew you looked familiar." Katherine said.
"Well, since we're kind of stuck at The Wall....may as well do something."
"Well, how about Hermione explains The Wall to us?" Hayley said.
"Great idea, Hayley!" Hermione said. "The Wall is what appears in dreams when you can't go out of a certain limits or else the dream cannot take place. If the characters in the dream pass The Wall without proper equipment or permission, etc., they self destruct. In this case, The Wall showed up rather early, which means there's either more to come, or the person's head we're inside is really REALLY baked."
"I vote for both." Hannah said, plopping down on a rainbow-striped rock.
The rest of SOLF nodded.
Suddenly, some couches and other sitting-type furniture appeared.
Everyone sat down.
Hannah stayed on her rock.
"What do we do now?" Hayley asked.
"I dunno." Diana said. "We kind of got you guys, so our mission is complete."
"But we're also stuck inside some stoner's dream." Merry said.
Hayley looked up at the magenta sky, and then her eye's widened.
"Wait, I recognize this place..." she said, and looked over at the trees.
Licorice...
She ran over to a pond, and sipped it's rainbow water.
"Lemonade..." she said. "OH MY COLOURED FANCY PANTS!"
"What now?" Jack asked.
"THIS IS BEAN QUEEN'S DREAM!!!!"
Who is this Bean Queen? Is she on SOLF's side? Find on, next time on THE MOST ULTIMATE RANFIC EVER!