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Chapter 28.
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Tifa was pacing around the room nervously. I think she was going over the decorations and invitations and what not in her mind. But she had already taken care of everything. I know because she had talked to me incessantly over the past month about all that she had done and all of her worries. Would the food be good, I hope we didn't over do the decorations, will her dress be adjusted on time, do I have my tux lined up and ready to go, will the flowers be ready on time, will they be ready to early and begin to wilt, etc… And she did this whenever I was right about to sleep. Man, if she does this every night after we're married, it's going to drive me nuts.
But never before had Tifa actually paced around in nervousness. But I wasn't worried. Like I said, Tifa had personally gone over every possible detail with scrutiny.
But she wasn't pacing out of nervousness like I thought. I found out later that that was just a ploy to keep me awake.
About 10:30, I heard a knock on the door. Tifa was muttering to herself and didn't seem to hear so I got up and answered the door.
Six figures of varying height and size in tuxes stood before me. They were all wearing sunglasses despite the darkness outside, and they had all positioned themselves so that their faces were obscured by the shadows around. I didn't have time to even say 'Hello' before one of them said, "Well, you asked for a bachelor party, so get ready for the party of your life!" With that a big dark guy grabbed me by the arm and practically threw me into a black car that was waiting just feet away. I didn't even have time to react. I was so busy trying to put together what was going around me, and trying to figure out when I had wanted a bachelor party, to ever even realize what was going on. It wasn't until the car started speeding away and I turned to see Tifa waving and smiling that I realized what had just happened.
"Damn it Cid, I asked for a bachelor party, not a kidnapping," I said.
They all laughed. I then saw their faces. Cid was sitting next to me on the left, with Barrett on my right. Vincent was sitting across from me in the limousine smiling a little. There were also three other figures in the car. I looked at the one sitting across from Vincent first. He was short, and was wearing a tux that didn't seem to fit him quite right. He had glossy black hair that went to about his shoulders, and now with his sunglasses off I could see that he wore contacts, and underneath were dark blue eyes that were amazing to look at. His nose was also slightly crooked, as if he had broke it as a kid, and his nose never really grew back quite right. He looked up at me and smiled. "The name's Kurt Shem. We know each really well, but I must say you look a lot different in person then you do through a pair of video cameras." I looked at him puzzled. "Heh," he laughed, "Cloud, I'm Cait Sith." It then dawned on me. I nearly jumped out of my seat to shake his hand. His hands were hard with calluses and were surprisingly strong, and he shook my hand hard, but I didn't really notice. Here before my eyes was Cait Sith's controller in the flesh. And it made sense too. His name was Kurt Shem, which is strikingly similar to Cait Sith. After I said 'it's so good to finally meet you,' probably one too many times, I asked him, "So how did you find us?" He looked at Barrett. Barrett then said, "Well, Tifa was the one who really thought of trying to find Kurt, so she wanted to put an add in the paper looking for a missing person named Cait Sith, but she knew she couldn't do it without you finding out, and she wanted to keep it a surprise. So she came to Cid and me to figure out what we could do. We ended up posting on just about every street lamp in town a big yellow paper that said 'Missing, man named Cait Sith. If you know him, please call 628, something, something, something.'" "But why didn't I see one?" I interrupted. "We avoided the area around your house and the area around the church." Cid said simply. "Oh…" "Anyway," Barrett continued, "we got a call about a week ago from this guy (pointing to Kurt) and here he is." "I was planning on showing up for the wedding and meeting you then when I finally heard about it," Kurt said, "but I couldn't pass up the bachelor party. No way."
It was then that I noticed the other two men in the limousine. The one that was driving was bald, with a passenger to his right with short, red, unkempt hair.
I stood up in alarm, hitting my head hard against the ceiling of the car.
"Rude, Reno—what the hell are you doing here?!" I yelled. Barrett interrupted me. "Whoa, man. Relax. They're with us." "What?!" I said even more alarmed. Reno turned around to look at me, with his sunglasses still on. He half-grinned, and then said a little menacingly, "When we found Cid two weeks ago, we found out you was getting hitched. We wanted to be a part of the fun." "Don't worry," Cid said. "Ever since they've lost their jobs they don't want to fight anymore. Least of all us. We've beat the #%& out of them one too many times." I saw Rude's knuckles whiten on the steering wheel and then relax after a moment. "Come on Cloud," Cid said. "Tonight is your last night of freedom, so we're gonna make sure your last night is $#&! awesome!"
It began with a visit to the pool hall. That was simple enough. We played some pool and made some bets. I ended up losing $20 to Kurt, which he rubbed in later. But I won $20 from both Rude and Reno, which left me twenty to the good. During which we exchanged stories of long lost girlfriends and a few stories of our fights through the years. I was surprised by Reno, who apparently had had twelve girlfriends over his life to date, was looking to get hooked up with another girl who he met the day before in a strip club. "Wow, you and a stripper. That makes sense to me," I said, razzing Reno. He laughed and then said, "Hey, don't make me go over there and beat you over the head again, just like I did on top of sector seven support pole." Barrett suddenly stopped laughing and clenched his fists, but I didn't notice. "Oh, you want some," I taunted. "Yah," Reno said smiling. We went outside and, taking off our shirts, we wrestled for what seemed like an hour but was really more like ten minutes. Although there was no contest as to who was stronger (me), Reno proved to be incredibly agile, and his surprisingly skinny frame enabled him to wiggle free of many of my holds. In the end we were both panting hard and staring at each other just out of each other's reach. "Alright," Barrett said, stepping between us. "I'm tired of seeing you two have all the fun. How about a free for all?" He bent his legs and put his body into the athletic position. Reno looked at me and me at him. We then said in sync, "Ah, HELL no." And that was the end of that match; although Cid did challenge Rude…Cid tore Rude apart in less then a minute.
After that they took me to a bar. We entered and the waitress led us to a back room filled with striking exotic colors, as well as it's own private bar and bartender. We sat down and started drinking. Now I have drunken beer before, and sipped some wine in the past, but I have never been "drunk" so to speak. In fact I've taken pride in the fact that I have never puked nor lost consciousness, but it seems that Cid, Barrett, and Rude were on a mission to get me plastered. They started by taking bets on who could down a glass the fastest, and then it moved to who could down the most and still be able to sing the national anthem coherently. As the guest of honor I had the responsibility of beating them at whatever challenge they gave me, and for the first time in my life, I really felt loopy and more then once the world around me spun in multiple directions, but I kept my head on straight and did my best to stay coherent.
"Hey, you know what would be a really fun game right now," Barrett said. "Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey." Vincent, who I had almost forgotten was present, looked at him through sober eyes and said, "You're kidding right?" "Well," Barrett continued, "I imagine since most of us here are pretty damn drunk, it could be kinda fun." Without a word, the bartender disappeared behind a red curtain and emerged a few minutes later with a large board of a donkey and a long black patch of cloth that I assumed was the tail. "You had one sitting in the back?" I asked him, doing my best to speak clearly. "You'd be surprised how many people ask for this very game when they're drunk," he responded. "But what is pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey," he continued, "without a pretty girl to blind fold you, spin you around, and point you in the right direction?" With that a pretty blonde girl in a tight, black, cat outfit appeared from out behind the curtain. The outfit resembled more of a tight one-piece bathing suit, except that she had a head band that had two little ears that were clearly supposed to resemble a cat, and she also had a tail attached on her back side. She smiled and then, looking at me, she winked, and then set up the game. "Don't worry," the bartender said, as I looked at him a little concerned. "No charge. It's on the house, since it's your bachelor party." "Cool," said Cid. "I'm up first!"
Cid jumped up and grabbed the black tail from the bartender. He then positioned himself about ten feet away from the cardboard with the donkey on it, and started to walk towards it stumbling a little. "Wait," the girl in the bunny outfit said. Cid paused and looked at her a little annoyed. "You have to be blindfolded first," she said, revealing a black scarf from out of no where. Cid smiled eerily and then let himself be blindfolded. The girl then led him about ten steps away from the board, and spun him around in a circle about five times. She then stopped him and pointed him in the right direction. "Now wait here just a second," she said. She ran behind the "donkey" and then told Cid to follow her voice to the donkey. Cid, drunk and dazed, took two steps and then stumbled over his own feet. Everyone had a good laugh, but Cid, irritated, listened to the girl's beckoning call and eventually found the donkey, placing the long black tail between the donkey's eyes. Again everyone laughed, and Cid stumbled back to his chair.
Kurt went next. He hadn't drunk as much as the rest of us (though Vincent was completely sober), and he had a little more success. He managed to stay on his feet the entire time, and also managed to put the tail near the donkey's hind leg.
Barrett was next. He did even worse then Cid, and practically fell on the donkey, totally forgetting the purpose of the tail.
Next however, came me. "Alright handsome," she said sexily, "it's your turn." Cid laughed and ordered another beer as I stood up and let myself be blindfolded. The girl, who by then we learned was named Cassandra, grabbed my shoulders and prepared to spin me, but she hesitated. "Ooo…you've got some nice strong shoulders, big guy…" I blushed inadvertently. "And you're tense too," she then started rubbing my back.
Now, normally I would have jumped away in a heartbeat and the thought of anyone, especially a girl, touching me, except for Tifa. But I must have really been drunk, because I just melted. Vincent looked at me disapprovingly, but Reno laughed and, like Cid, he ordered another beer.
After a moment, she stopped, and then spun me around several times. I lost all sense of where I was and when she finally stopped spinning me, I could barely stand up straight. She then moved over towards the donkey, I assumed, and started calling me towards her. I heard Barrett, Cid, and Reno suddenly start laughing hysterically, but also heard Kurt and Vincent suddenly get quiet. It also seemed to me that Rude also got a little quieter all of the sudden, if that were possible. But my mind was still hazy so I dismissed any thought of what was going on. I walked towards Cassandra's voice, stumbled over something but caught myself, and then, drawing ever slowly closer, pinned the tail on something warm and soft.
I took off my blindfold and saw that I had not just pinned the tail on the donkey as I had thought, but instead, had pinned the tail on Cassandra's butt, which she was now wiggling seductively side to side. I then heard everyone roar with laughter and I knew that I had just been tricked. Kurt had also brought out of his pocket a small camera and was taking pictures like mad. "Wait till Tifa sees this…" I heard him mutter.
I then came to my senses real quick.
Almost as if I had had nothing to drink that night, everything around me suddenly became painfully clear, and I recoiled from Cassandra who now was trying to pull herself close to me. She looked a little shocked as I yelled to no one in particular, "You guys just tricked me!!" Again everyone laughed at my embarrassment, and I heard Rude say, "We planned this thing the entire time." Reno roared with laughter and fell off his seat, holding his gut.
I felt like killing something right then, but the feeling conflicted with the realization that this was the kind of thing that happened at a bachelor party, and that someday I too would get the chance to embarrass the heck out of some of these guys at their own bachelor parties. That thought reassured me, and my fists unclenched as I took my seat, bowed my head, and stared at the bar. "Oh come on, Cloud," Kurt said. "It was all in good fun." I didn't respond. I didn't even move. Jeez, I hope Tifa never sees any of the pictures Kurt just took.
Cassandra hung around for a while, and Cid seemed to take a liking to her and he tried to hit on her a couple of times, but she was experienced at building, and breaking men's egos, and more then once she made him look like an fool. Like when he asked her to rub his neck like she had for me. She moved behind him and started to rub, but then she, on purpose, pinched a pressure point, and Cid yelped, falling to the floor, much to my chagrin. "Ah, poor baby," she said. "I didn't know that you were so bony." I realize now that that comment was actually pretty stupid, but when your drunk, even little comments like that seem to make, or break, your heart. Cid, trying to redeem himself, stood up and walked towards me. "Are you saying that Cloud is bigger then me?" he said to her, even though he was looking at me. "Oh yah," she said. Cid, in drunken anger, took a swing at me but missed by a mile and he fell unconscious to the floor, which made us all laugh even harder.
At about two o'clock we finally left, with Cassandra's invitation to come back any time (which I purposely forgot), and we took the limousine to Barrett's apartment. Inside was set up a small poker table and some extra beers. Cid, to my amazement, decided that he had had enough to drink, and instead got some water. Rude and Reno however, had not had their fill, and each downed another glass before the Texas Poker began.
When I started, I had forty dollars in my pocket, but because practically everyone besides Vincent (and apparently now myself) was drunk, my wallet quickly filled to over two hundred dollars. But then, by just dumb luck, I got on a losing streak, and I quickly ended up being broke in less then thirty minutes. The only real winners that night were Vincent and Reno. Vincent walked away with about fifty extra bucks in his pocket, while Reno was left with almost four hundred extra bucks. Barrett and Cid both eyed him eerily, but both were to drunk to realize that he was an expert at sleight of hand, and had secretly been stashing extra cards into his jacket until towards the end of the game, when he could easily now trade out certain cards from within his jacket and make seemingly heaven-sent hands, although none of us knew this until almost a year later when Vincent finally caught him in the act.
Soon it was four o'clock in the morning, and we quickly realized that the wedding would start in about ten hours, and that they all would need to sleep if they didn't want to appear hung over, even though we all knew we would be.
Vincent drove us all home, dropping me off first at my house. I walked up the small porch and quietly opened the door, and closing it, saw Tifa sitting wide awake in the corner. She looked at me with eyes that looked disappointed and worried, but with a smile that said, "I understand." In effect, she was telling me to never stay out that late again. "I won't stay out that late again, I promise," I said reassuringly. She nodded, and then without a word slipped into my bed and fell asleep instantly. I laid down next to her on the floor, and drew the comfort of the blanket around me. I drove the thought of Cassandra from my mind for the last time, and went to sleep dreaming of Tifa.