On Safari!
Isclaimer-day: -iay o-day ot-nay wn-oaym Okémon-pay, ut-bay -iay o-day wn- oay D-aay. (Again, legal blokes and blokesses, it's pig Latin. Or, again, read chaps. 1-10.)
"That's odd. The guide says the Safari Zone was closed when the Warden went on holiday."
"Well, Brock, the guide was published before the Warden's nephew volunteered to help," said Ad, looking at the grand building in front of them. There was a moment of silence as everyone quietly appreciated the structure in front of him...
"Hey!"
...or her. This solemn mood was broken by Ash asking, "Shall we go in?" Everyone anime-fell.
"Welcome to Isle Delfino– I mean the Safari Zone–an island where everything is beyond your wildest–God why did I agree to work for them–just get in," said the man inside the door. The group needed no further encouragement.
The next man handed them some Safari Balls, saying, "All the usual–in until your PokéBalls run out–or you take 200 steps–oh, and don't mind that crazy bloke. He got fired by the Piantas."
"I can understand how that could make anyone a loony," said Ash, faking sympathy.
The grass in the Safari Zone was higher, wilder, and unkempt, which all added up to a lot of Pokémon.
"It says in the guidebook," said Brock (it was the new 2004 edition, Guidebook XP), "that the safari Zone is Fuchsia City's major draw. Tourists from all over Hoenn, Kanto and Johto visit here."
Misty scratched her chin. "Tourists, eh?" In the background, Homer Simpson fell out of a plot-hole, but everybody ignored him.
"What about tourists?"
"We can play a wicked game! Look, there's a bloke over there. Guess where he's from."
Once everyone had done so, Misty started to push Ash towards the man. "Now, you ask him where he is from."
"Wait! But how do I..."
"Take these," said Misty, producing a clipboard and pencil from her IPS (Infinite Pocket Space). She slotted the pencil behind Ash's ear, gave him one final shove, and he ended up behind the man. Ash put on a cheesy grin. He tapped the man on the shoulder, and said, "Hello, I'm conducting a survey, so can I just ask you where you're from?"
"Pallet Town, doofus," grunted a familiar voice. The man turned around and clicked his fingers. A platform descended from the roof, laden with cheerleaders. Brock went into overdrive. They began singing. "GARY, GARY, HE'S OUR MAN, IF HE CAN'T DO IT NO-ONE CAN!" Everyone sweatdropped, except Ash.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, what league are you doing?"
"The Alternat..."
"Shut up Ash!" said Ad, nudging him.
"The what?" whispered Gary to himself. He started yelling to Ash again.
"Well, so am I, and I've got more badges!"
"No, actually, it's the Johto League, isn't it?" muttered Misty to Ash. Gary heard and said,
"OK, that one as well, and I've got more badges!"
"It's déjà vu all over again," commented Brock.
Shouts boomed through the giant Gym. The stands were filled with Gary's cheerleaders, with Brock and Misty lost in the sea of cheering. Brock was darting around everywhere, looking for phone numbers. Misty walked up to him, and pulled him by the ear back to his seat.
"You need a reality check," she sighed. Collin and Catreece fell out of a plothole, commented on the weirdness of this Run-A-Muck, and left. Everyone stared after them, sweatdropping, then got back to normal.
"You ready to be thrashed, Ash?" cried Gary, smirking.
"Speak for yourself," sniggered Ash.
Ad stepped forward into the middle of the Zone.
"This will be a two-on-two battle, no time limit. Choose your Pokémon!"
"Go, Growlithe!"
"Go, Squirtle!" The two Pokémon squared each other. Growlithe bared its teeth.
"Squirtle, use Hydro Pump!" The jets of water shot out. Growlithe did a backflip, landed, and shot out several burning embers. One caught Squirtle on the shell. It bent its head back, trying to fire water onto its back. In the process, it hit Growlithe, who, howling in pain, started firing the affected area. The result was that each Pokémon was hopping about trying to heal itself. Squirtle finally stopped, saw Growlithe dancing around, and fired a Hydro Pump straight at it. It flew across the Gym, and fainted.
"I'm just warming up. Jolteon, go!" The electric fox Pokémon leapt from its ball. Squirtle immediately used Water Gun while it was stunned from the PokéBall. Jolteon shook it off, smiling. Surprised, Squirtle used another. Jolteon used Thundershock at the same time. The 'shock conducted along the water, and electrocuted Squirtle from the inside. It fainted.
"Alright then, I'm goanna have to get out the big guns! Pikachu, go!" Pikachu flew out, and got into fighter stance. Jolteon used a weak Thunder Wave. Pikachu was paralyzed. Jolteon flew in with a flying Tackle, but Pikachu used Agility. Jolteon's Tackle was so strong that the Pokémon got its hand stuck in a crack in the Gym floor. Pikachu called down a Thunder, but Jolteon used its super speed to revolve. Pikachu fired a Thunder straight at Jolteon's paw. The shock from the Thunder catapulted Jolteon out. It sniggered. Then it curled up, and used a devastating Thunderbolt. It whistled through the air. Pikachu used Agility, and just got out of the way. However, its tail got burnt. Pikachu turned to Jolteon, with fire in its eyes. It used Thunder. Its rage guided it, and it hit Jolteon. The Pokémon soared through the air, whacking into the wall and falling down. Gary returned it.
"The winner is Ash Ketchum!" cried Ad. The never-ones-to-lose-out cheerleaders started screaming "Ash, Ash, he's our man, if he can't do it no-one can!" at the top of their voices; Gary scowled and phoned Cheerleaders 'R' Us; Pikachu got Squirtle to cool down its burned tail; Squirtle got shocked; and Misty ran up to Ash and hugged him.
"Please, can everyone come back?" called the loudspeaker.
"What! We've only been in here for..." Brock counted, "...3 paragraphs, including this one!"
"Yeah, but the second was really long," reminded Ad.
The loudspeaker interrupted indignantly, "You were dancing around so much in the battle, you took 200 steps!" A huge comedy boot appeared and kicked everybody out.
"So, Gary, I beat ya!" mocked Ash.
"I'm didn't get a chance to use my best Pokémon. I never do! Why not?"
Because I can't be bothered to make it up, you idiot.
"Oh."
"You always say that!" retorted Ash. "I bet you don't HAVE a best Pokemon!"
"Didn't you listen to what I just said?"
"..."
"Well, see you later loser!" said Gary, climbing into a car with his new cheerleaders.
And so the gang walks off into the next adventure.
Author's Notes: Reality Check, Collin, Catreece and the Run-A-Mucks are not mine; they are the property of Rikki and Tavisha.
R&R!