Guten Mörgen. Ich bin der Fruend von die Breiffreundin. Hier ist der andere Bund. Genießen!
Translation: Good morning. I am the friend of the penfriend [i.e. Penpal's chum.] Here is the Alternative League. Enjoy!
Ghost Town
Disclaimer: I........................................do..................................................not.........................own...............................................Pokémon...... ...............,..........................but.........................I.................................do.....................................own..................................Ad.
Bloke from Guinness World Records: Congratulations! You've won the "Longest Disclaimer in the History of Life, the Universe and Everything" Award! [Hands over award]
Me: Gee, thanks. [Puts trophy next to other miscellaneous awards]
"This town..."
"...Aaaaah ah..."
"...Is comin' up a ghost town..."
"...Aaaaah ah..."
"Stop that, Ash! You're giving me the creeps." Misty shuddered.
"Geez, sorry." Ash clicked his fingers, and the ghostly choir of Haunter and Gastly [note that the plural form of Haunter is not Haunters; likewise with Gastly] disappeared.
They were in Lavender Town. The map had crashed into Lavender Tower.
"I thought this had been turned into a radio transmitter," said a confused Misty.
"Nah," said Brock, "according to the Guidebook [in Pokéworld, the Guidebook is even considered an authority above the Bible] the radio company went bust, and had to move. They were called May Enterprises, apparently. The proprietor's ghost is said to wander around the tower."
"I'd hate to go in there," said Ash. "Where's Chelsea's gym, then?"
"Um..." Ad pointed his wing upwards. Everyone sweatdropped.
"OK then...what say you we skip this gym challenge?" said Ash, wide-eyed.
"It'll be simple," said Ad. "You just go to the Pokémon Centre, hand in all your Badges, and they give 'em to the next person that comes to the counter."
"Alright then. Anything to not go in there."
In the Pokémon Centre, Nurse Joy was being given a load of Badges for a Pokémon organization that she did not even know existed.
"No, but...yes, I know they could be counterfeit...and I would, but I'm...you're not listen...JUST GIVE THEM TO THE NEXT PERSON THAT COMES ALONG, OK?"
The bell rang. A group of cheerleaders swarmed in, holding a man with brown hair above them. They were coming towards the counter.
"On second thoughts," said Ash, grabbing the box of Badges out of the hands of a bemused Joy, "I'll take them after all." As he left, he blew a raspberry at Gary.
"Are you sure you're going in?" asked Misty, shivering.
"Yep."
"Well, bye then!" Misty, Brock and Ad stepped back.
"Aren't you coming in?" cried Ash.
"Let me think," said Brock, putting his finger on his chin. "No."
"Fine." Ash went in. He turned his head, expecting to see the rest shouting, "Wait for me!"
They weren't.
Sweatdropping, he went back out and dragged everyone else into the tower.
"Misty, look behind you!" shouted Brock. Misty turned, and he swiped her mallet. "This could come in handy sometime," he said to himself, thinking about how he could avoid getting whacked the next time he fell in love. "I don't think I'll tell her I've got it." He tucked it away in his IPS.
"Careful not to bump into the proprietor's ghost, OK?" said Ad, cautiously.
"Right," said Ash.
"Right," said Misty.
"Right," said Brock.
"Right," said the ghost.
Brock turned. "AH! Ghost!"
"Where?" said the ghost, alarmed. Everyone looked.
"W-w-who are y-y-you?" asked Ash, all colour drained out of his skin.
"I believe I'm May, founder of May Enterprises," replied the ghost, "but why do you ask?"
"Y-y-you're the p-pro-proprietor's ghost?" stammered Misty, teeth chattering.
"Am I?" asked May, confused. "I'm surely not a ghost. See, look, I can..." May drew back her hand, and attempted to punch Brock.
"Why me?" asked Brock.
Because you're the most minor character here.
"Why don't you punch Ad?" Because I like Ad, plus his contract strictly says no punching between 18.00 and 17.59 and 59 seconds.
Anyway, the flabby punch passed straight through Brock.
"...touch you," finished May, trailing off.
"I'm a ghost! But I'm not dead! I'm too young to die?"
"How old are you?" asked Ad.
"Only 100, but anyway, I don't remember dying!"
"Well, it happened 40 years ago, so it can't be that hard," said Ash sarcastically.
"How am I going to run the Saffron branch of May Enterprises against Freda & Rika Industries?" Ash sweatdropped. "I wouldn't worry about that now..."
The group finished explaining to May everything that had happened, and their newest mission.
"You want me to help you up the tower, and in return I can come with you to learn about the world, and maybe restore you to life? You've got a deal."
May reached out her hand, and it went through Ash. She rubbed the back of her neck and sweatdropped. "I really must stop doing that." Everyone anime- fell.
"Anyway, I think Chelsea's gym is right up here. Follow me." May climbed the stairs. The rest wearily followed.
"Hmm. I think Penpal's chum has run out of ideas. So it's up to us to fill the rest of the half-hour!"
"Right on, Jessie! Let's spin the wheel of fortune and see what diabolically dumb plan we have today!"
Meowth span the wheel. "Oh, the conveyor belt will tell us the answer!" The machine in the background whirred. "Our plan this ep is...A CUDDLY TOY!" cried Jessie and James happily.
"I knew we shouldn't have rented this from Jim Davison," said Meowth, wiping its face with its paw. "But that gives me an idea. A cuddly toy and a conveyor belt."
"Just one more flight of stairs!" said May, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"That's what you said for the last five flights," groaned Ash.
Brock shrieked, "Oh! My lumbago!"
"Across this room and – Haunter! Get back!" ordered May. Brock reversed, and bumped into something. He swivelled. "Gengar!"
"Gastly," shouted Misty, "we're surrounded."
Ash pulled out his Pokédex, and looked up Gastly.
"The trio of Gastly evolutions stay still so their prey are unsuspicious, then strike when the foe moves," offered Dexter.
"Don't – move – a – muscle," whispered Ad.
Suddenly, a net fell from the ceiling and trapped them. The floor moved, like a giant conveyor belt. They were squeezed through the skirting board, and were soon dangling from the ceiling of the floor below.
The ghost Pokémon fell. "I'll see if they did this," said Ad, struggling and pulling out his Adderdex. He pointed it at the Haunter.
"Haunter doll. Use this to decorate your bedroom," droned Adexter.
"Dolls!" screamed Ash. "We're stuck in here because of a doll!"
"Who could have thought of such a diabolically dumb plan?" cried Misty.
"Glad you asked," said James.
[FUNKY REMIX VERSION]
"To to-to-to protect the world from devasta-tion!" "To to-to-to unite all peoples within our na-tion!" "Todenouncetheevils..." "Oftruthandlove..." "To-extend-our-reach to the sta-ars above!" "Jeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssie!" "Jaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmes!" "Team Ro-ro-rocket, blast off at thespeedoflight!" "Sur-ur-urender now, or preparetofight!" "Me-OOOOWWWWWWth that'sright!" [Applause from audience as TR pose, and flowers are thrown in. Meanwhile, Ash and co. escape.]
"I knew it was you, and I'm going to teach you a lesson! Pikachu, go!" hollered Ash. Pikachu leapt forward.
"Spin the wheel, sharpish!" said Jessie. Meowth span it.
"And our Pikanapping plan for today is ice-cream!"
"Yay! Ice cream!" shouted Oxnard [I don't own Hamtaro either], happily splashing about in a pool of ice-cream.
"Get back into the plothole you crawled out of!" shouted Jessie, kicking Oxy into the plothole.
"Hey! That's my favourite Hamtaro character you kicked there! Now you're really for it!" bellowed Ash.
"I don't know Ash, I would have done the same," considered Misty. Ash ignored her. "Pikachu, use Thunder!" The bolt zapped toward Team Rocket. James held up a giant comedy vat of ice- cream, and the electricity was soaked up. James pelted balls of 'cream at Pikachu, who got coated in it, and shocked by the super-charge.
"Har har!" said Jessie, doing an impression of Professor Fiendish. [and NO, I do not own Murderous Maths] "Ice-cream is a superb insulator of electricity, so it gets charged. We just release the charge on Pikachu, and you're defeated!"
"Are you sure about that?" asked Ash, releasing Charmander and Squirtle.
"Yes, pretty," answered James.
"Charmander, melt the ice-cream!" said Ash. Charmander used Ember, which melted the ice-cream. James put down the vat, and blew on his burnt hands.
"Squirtle, use Water Gun to overflow the vat!" Squirtle released individual jets of water [if it had come out in one big stream, Squirtle would have been electrocuted], which slowly filled the tank. Soon, the vat overflowed, drenching Jessie, James and Meowth in super charged ice-cream. They gasped as the electric shocks paralysed them.
"Squirtle, clean Pikachu!" Squirtle used a weak Water Gun, and cleaned Pikachu. With rage in its eyes, Pikachu used a Thunderbolt, which fried the already shocked Team Rocket. So it was...
"SKOOL EKIL MAET S'TEKCOR GNITSALB FFO NIAGA!" [Ping, twinkle]
"Yep. This is the entrance to Chelsea's gym," said May, as they reached the top of the tower. "Do this, and you'll be on to the Masters. Good luck."
And so, Ash and friends entered the room on top of Lavender Tower which housed the eight and final Gym; that of Chelsea Oddhill.
I' m exhausted. This is probably the longest chapter of the series (or a 45- minute special), so enjoy it while it lasts. I guess this fic is almost finished. I'll definitely write something else afterwards. I've already got a one-shot Advance Wars story written, but I'll wait until this is over.
To everyone reading, goodnight and Finish Your Fics!