Foul Words
by : epiphanies
A/N - Hey guys. You'll probably be totally and utterly confused without this little piece of guidance. Theodore Nott is now my favourite character to write about, so I decided to make his debut with a little conversation ficlet between he and Draco. They're sitting in the garden at the Malfoy Manor while their fathers have a Death Eater meeting. Their conversation is rather juvenile and pointless, but it's kind of cute anyway. Wrote it in various states of tiredness. (And just so you're aware, the first speaker is Theodore, and then it goes obviously in order (Draco-Theodore-Draco etc.) Theodore is very smart, as well, a lot smarter than Draco. Don't believe me? Go to and have it proven. wink 'Night, guys!
"Ever noticed, how the worst tasting food is the best for you?"
"Have I ever. My mother used to make salad with orange rind-"
"-and dandelion leaves."
"Dodgy, isn't it? I don't know if I trust the theory."
"Why not?"
"Chocolate tastes wonderful."
"Touche... but perhaps the beans don't."
"The beans are probably like..."
"Opium."
"Yeah."
"..."
"..."
"My eyes hurt."
"Why?"
"Peeling oranges."
"Ouch... stings, doesn't it? Citrus. "
"But I'm starving."
"Just don't eat the rinds."
--sigh-- "Mmm..."
"Ever tried the rinds?"
"Grindelwald, no."
"Ever noticed the Gryffindors say 'Merlin, no?'"
"Yeah... well, they're not like us, are they?"
"Not at all... muggle-lovers, mudbloods, shamed, wasted wizards..."
"What are you doing, naming off every foul name you ever heard your father say?"
"No. Father doesn't speak foul."
"Mine either... but I sometimes make up my own foul words."
"Like what?"
"Ones that nobody'll know if I say them."
"Vague it up, Nott, please."
"Like M.U.G.S."
"Mugs?"
"Yeah."
"And what's so foul about that?"
"Mad Unimaginative Gormless Sods."
"... Oh! I get it!"
"You genius. Want another?"
"Sure!"
"S.L.A.Y.s."
"Well?"
"Stolid Lethargic Addled Yapoks."
"What on earth is a yapok?"
"A possum. But nobody knows that. It could mean...."
"A Mug?"
"Exactly."
--sigh-- "I wish I'd thought of that."
"Make one up, then."
"How about V.O.T.S.?"
"What's that?"
"Vapid Obtuse Thick..."
"Sot."
"What's a sot?"
"A drunkard."
"Oh, alright. Vapid Obtuse Thick Sot."
"Not horrible."
"I'd say fair, seeing as it's my first try."
"Alright. Want to try another?"
"No. Father's calling me."
"Time for me to go, I suppose."
"They're probably finished their meeting."
"Right."
"Well...."
"See you around."
"Right."
-
the end.