You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Avril Lavigne
Craig Manning. What a liar. I cannot believe he lead me on like that. Bastard! How could he do this?!
All these thoughts and more are working their way to the forefront of my mind simultaneously. I am making my way home from the school on Christmas, after just finding out that my boyfriend was cheating on me... from the girl he was cheating on me with! It is so cold that can't feel the tears falling down my face. I'm that numb.
Halfway home an even more obvious, but startling fact consumes my attentions. He didn't even try to come after me. After all we've been through and he didn't even try to stop me from leaving him. He must really like Manny. Or really not care about me. And after I gave him that guitar...
I remember when I first discovered my feelings for him. It was during those "Taming of the Shrew" re-enactments for Kwan's class last year. When I was still with Jimmy and miserable. I felt so insecure then, so... not free. And Craig made me feel like I could be myself around him and everything would be fine; life would be awesome if I just stuck with my values and didn't let anybody else tell me what to do. When I think back to that now it's all I can do not laugh and cry hysterically at the same time. What a load.
The sad fact is that if I had just put out, Craig wouldn't have gone to Manny in the first place. It's a horrible thing to say but it is also more truth than Craig ever gave me. Sex is everything to a guy and unfortunately I didn't figure that out until just now. Or, fortunately as it were. I couldn't care less which one is accurate right now. All I know is that I am in a world of pain and I am bitter and that that fucker I once thought of as my soul-mate is dead to me now.
So I continue on my way home, thinking how satisfying that slap to his face was. Merry Christmas, Ashley.