"What a cliff-hanger!" The Pen Pal News
"Why did he end it so suddenly?" The Daily Penpal
"What is the prize?" The Sunday Format
"Will the next ep be called...
The Final Fight"...and have a disclaimer saying:"
Disclaimer: For the last time, I do not own Pokémon! Get that through your head, legal peeps!
"I don't know." Earth Now – The Unadulterated News
"Again: what is the prize?"
Der smiled blissfully. "The prize is..."
"MINE!"
The roof collapsed, and a man stood in the middle of the hall.
"I am," he said, "TRIG!"
"What's he doing here?" asked May, annoyed.
Trig pulled out a book. "Remember the man in the Pokémon Centre back in chapter 23? That was I! And I have been hiding since then so I could produce this!"
Trig pressed a button, and more ceiling caved in. A machine crashed through the ceiling. It was a giant mallet on wheels, covered in metal patches, and with some miscellaneous pipes attached. The base was covered in mirrors, and there was a mirror underneath the head of the mallet.
"Behold the Malletomaticinator™!" shouted Trig as confetti descended from nowhere.
"Hey: that's mine!" cried Misty.
"Ooops," said Brock, hiding behind a random pillar.
"Mallet™, use Headbutt!"
The mallet machine lowered its head, and charged at the group. They leapt aside, and Ash fingered for a PokéBall.
"Bulbasaur, go!"
The Pokémon leapt out, saw the Mallet™, and charged at it. A lick of fire came out of one of the tubes, and Bulbasaur barely escaped with a singed bulb.
"Fools! The tubes unleash attacks of every kind! That one's Fire-type!"
"Alright then: Squirtle, attack!"
No sooner had Squirtle emerged then a bolt of lightning shot out of a second tube and zapped it.
"Hang on. Fire-type tubes..." Ash picked up Squirtle, and hurled it at the Fire tube. It grabbed on, and a stream of fire shot out. Squirtle latched its mouth onto the tube, and used Water Gun. The tube rocked with the force of the water going through, and exploded.
"OK! Just attack each tube like a Pokémon! Bulbasaur, go to the Water tube!"
"Which is that?" asked May in dismay.
"Look!" said Ad. "A label! It says, 'Ice'."
"Every tube must be labelled," exclaimed Brock. "Here's the Water one!"
"Right!" Ash threw Bulbasaur at the tube. He attacked it relentlessly, until it was destroyed.
"Charmander, take Grass and Ice! Pikachu, do Flying! Gyrados, Dragon!"
"Hey, what about the Psychic tube?" asked May, pointing at it. A beam flashed out of it, and took out one of the wings on her shoe.
"Excuse me," she said, throwing her ghostly shoe at it. It exploded on contact.
Soon, only the Ground tube was intact.
"Squirtle, Hydro Pump!"
"Squirt!" Squirtle advanced, but a tremor shook the hall and it skidded like a headless chicken through the hall (along with everyone else). When it stopped, almost all the Pokémon had fainted. Pikachu looked scornfully at Latias and Latios, who were on the ground doing nothing.
"Why aren't you shaking?" it asked aggressively.
Latias giggled. "We can levitate! It's our ability."
Latios nodded. "We don't feel Ground attacks."
Pikachu growled. "Well hurry up and take out the tube then!"
"Psybeam, Latias!" shouted Der. Latias unleashed a quick dart of energy, and the tube blew up.
"Grrr... Mallet™, use Pursuit!" Trig climbed into the machine.
Mallet™ started pounding, and screeched on. The group dived out of the way, and it did a doughnut and came back.
"It's locked on to us. Run!" shouted Misty as she pounded through the hall.
"Char!" Charmander unleashed a Flamethrower at the Mallet™, but it hit the mirror. The attack bounced towards the base, where more mirrors bounced it through a box. Ash noticed that emerged from the box looking bigger. As soon as it came out, it was bounced towards them, and it hit the wall behind them, melting it instantly.
"All attacks bounce off it! Run!"
"Hang on!" said May. "I have a Mirror Coat! If someone puts it on, they can run through the attack and adjust the mirror!"
"I'll do it!" cried Ash. He looked around.
"Isn't anyone going to say, 'Oh no Ash, we need you, let me do it'?" he asked.
"Nope," said May, shoving the coat towards him.
Ash ran through the flames. They rebounded off of him, lighting the entire hall, but still he ran. Bits burnt off from the heat, but he withstood the pain and ran towards the Mallet™. At last he reached the mirror. He tried to turn it, but failed. Eventually, he took his coat off, flung it at the box, and dove. The flames hit the coat and bounced into the Mallet™, cracking the mirror.
("Seven years' bad luck," warned Misty.)
Another electric attack by Pikachu ran straight through the mirror, filling the inside with electricity. Trig jumped out, howling with pain, and the Mallet™ collapsed, leaving splinters of wood all over the floor.
"You'll pay. You'll pay. Go, PokéBalls!"
The three Balls opened, to reveal Regice, Registeel, and Regirock.
"HOW IN HELL WILL I BEAT THEM? Charmander, Squirtle, go!"
The dazed Pokémon waddled out. Charmander used a Fire Spin on Regice. It sniffed, and flicked it back. The flame knocked into Squirtle and Charmander, who fell over.
Ash fell to his feet.
"Take it. Please. Take it all. Everything. Just don't harm my Pokémon." He turned out his pockets, and thrust the money he had into Trig's hands. "Take it. Just call them back. Don't...hurt...them."
A blinding flash of light tore through the door. A huge Twister ripped through the three Regis and threw them into the wreck of Mallet™. Trig stared as a voice boomed.
"Trig. Member of Team Rocket. You have caused pain enough to us now. Go. You have been a thorn in everyone's side since you joined and I think it would be wise if you retired."
"Not on your life! I love Team Rocket."
"Trust me. You don't." An Aurora Beam froze Trig. "GO!"
An Explosion from below ground threw the ice cube and the wreck of Mallet™ into the air.
"LOOKS LIKE TRIG ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!"
"What happened?"
Ash woke up. The face of a huge white bird was looking down on him.
"Oh God. This isn't a good sign. Panicking in 5, 4, 3."
"Is he always like this?" asked the bird to Misty.
"Pretty much," said Misty as Ash started panicking.
"WHO IN THE NAME OF HOLY GREEN ASPARAGUS ARE YOU?"
"Lugia, actually."
"Lugia? But I set you free."
"I said I'd never forget you. I've seen you grow since then. Mostly as a battler, but when you gave up to Trig to protect your Pokémon, I saw how good you were. That's why I helped you." Lugia hung its head. "Ash...take me with you."
"But you should be free! You're wild, and flying! You don't want to be cooped up in there!"
"It's actually quite comfy. But even if it wasn't, I've seen how well you treat your Pokémon."
Ash wiped a tear from his cheek. "Lugia..." He straightened himself up, and withdrew a PokéBall. "PokéBall, go!"
The Ball landed, and Lugia swooped into it. Not a struggle. Ash picked up the ball. Lugia wanted to come with him.
He let Lugia out of the ball for a moment.
"I have remembered something. I have seen how loyal you are to your friends, so I will help them. I have brought my friend."
"Cele!"
The green blob flew in amid gasps of amazement. It dashed to May.
"I feel...odd. Like...flesh. Ah!"
The wings on her shoes disappeared, and her hitherto colourless face was flooded again. Celibi flew away again. At the door, it turned, and winked to Ash, as if to say, "See ya!"
May ran her fingers over her arms. "I'm alive."
She grinned. "I can touch! I can feel! And most importantly, I can do this!" She punched Brock in the face. "It feels so good to do that. Ah..."
"What was that for?" moaned Brock.
"For getting us into this fine mess again," reprimanded Misty.
"Where's my prize then?" asked Ash.
"Oh?" Der looked up. He rummaged in his wing. "Here."
"WHAT?" In his wing was a tiny trophy made of iron, saying "Happy Christmas 1973!"
"It was the best I could find," sweatdropped Der.
And so, as Ash bickers with Der over a trophy, he ends his quest to defeat the Alterative League. All that remains is for me to say...
GOODNIGHT!
Actually, that's not all. I just want to say there's still the epilogue to go, and any reviews after I finish asking questions will be answered via a change in the epilogue by me, so keep R&Ring.
Until the last time!