Watari was getting better. Tsuzuki could see, hear and even feel it. He was finding his balance again, was overcoming the shadows the demon had cast on his mind. Watching him interact with Tatsumi eased the worries on Tsuzuki's mind. He wanted his friends to be happy. He needed them to be happy. It meant so much to him, especially where Tatsumi was concerned. He had been unable to give the older shinigami what he had secretly hoped for. Tatsumi had never approached him, had never said it out loud. His gestures had been gentle enough, had shown friendship, and if Tsuzuki had known he would have seen the much deeper emotions, too.
But he hadn't.
For decades, actually.
He had wallowed in his own guilt, in his shame, in the long gone past of his life among the living. His suicide had accompanied him into his life after death, and it had weighed him down. That and the fact that as an angel of death he had to take lives. He, a man who had taken the easy way out, who had refused to confront his problems, who had simply tried again and again until it had just happened.
So the darkness had overwhelmed him, had forced the brighter, carefree side to the forefront to over his fragile soul. Tatsumi had wanted to help, but he had failed, blaming himself for Tsuzuki's tears. And he had left him.
Tsuzuki smiled sadly at the memory. At the time he hadn't understood. Now he did. He knew it had been a selfless act, but it had hurt. Like so many things had hurt. Like so many partners had left him while he, Tsuzuki Asato, remained behind. Seventy years in the same department, the same position, the same payment.
He understood.
And he didn't want a change. He liked his life; he wasn't looking up the career ladder.
Now even less than before.
Tsuzuki looked inward, felt the power inside of him stir, felt a responding echo from a place no one could normally enter without help. Help in form of Wakaba, for instance. But things had changed for him and he hadn't told either Wakaba, nor someone else.
Blackness coiled deep inside him; a blackness that ran deep and powerful. His other side, his strength. It called to a power that was as destructive as his own, heard its answering call, and he smiled a little. It felt warm and familiar and very gentle.
No one would believe it if he ever revealed the fact. No one would take his reassurances that no one was in danger. The ferocity that lingered in the other half, the ruthlessness, coldness and sheer destructive power was balanced by Tsuzuki's inherent warmth, life and gentleness.
You think too mucha voice whispered, the darkness briefly touching his waking mind.
I'm rarely accused of thathe chuckled.
Power called to power and Tsuzuki let himself sink into the warmth that was offered, into what others called lethally dangerous and without remorse, but to him Touda was unconditionally loyal. No one and nothing could turn this shikigami against the one he had accepted as his master.
Power had attracted power.
Touda wrapped himself around the fragile soul and whispered softly, soothing Tsuzuki's body and mind.
Power.
Dark and strong and inherently dangerous. Volatile and fragile in one. Two creatures with wounded souls that accepted the other without question.
Sometimes Tsuzuki thought Hisoka suspected the changes within him. He was an empath after all.
So what if he does? I am yours.It was stated matter-of-factly with little emotion.
Yes, you areTsuzuki whispered gently, almost possessively.
He had found the imprisoned shikigami, had fought to set him free. He would forever hold on to him.
I will not leave youthe creature rumbled, a sliver of emotions breaking free, caressing Tsuzuki's soul.
No, he wouldn't.
Laying back onto the grass, he watched the clouds drift by. The bond between them was stretched across dimensions, between Meifu and GensouKai. It was thought of as impossible. Well, someone like Tsuzuki shouldn't exist either. Both did, though.
And Tsuzuki was infinitely glad to be alive. His suicide attempt as a shinigami was not forgotten, but he no longer wished for release. He had finally found his counter-weight. Not in a new partner, not in Hisoka, but in one of the twelve shikigami that served him.
ComeTouda whispered invitingly and he smiled.
He let himself slide into the other dimension where he was already expected by the tall, dark-clad shikigami, wearing control mechanisms to keep him in line. A visor hid eyes that Tsuzuki had seen looking at him in wonder and confusion down in that forgotten prison cell. Eyes that spoke of suffering and hope. A hope in form of Tsuzuki Asato, a man Touda would never have acknowledged as a master.
No, not a master.
Equals, Tsuzuki had always insisted. He claimed he wasn't worth the loyalty of the Divine Commanders, but they begged to differ. Each for his or her own reasons they followed this single, unassuming man. Touda's fascination with the shinigami was unbroken and while his behavior was cold, close to rude, and spoke of little emotion, there was more to it than the outside world would ever see.
In Touda and Tsuzuki, two lonely souls that had finally found peace in each other.
Now those eyes met, aware of each other even without the visor, and Tsuzuki smiled more. No words were lost.
Power called to power, balanced it, made it whole, healed fractures and wounds, knitted them, smoothed over scars.
They lay together. Watari had wrapped his arms around his lover, who
was snuggling against him, head resting on his chest, and he ran his fingers
through the short, brown hair. Blue eyes were half closed, each breath
tickling against his chin. One of Tatsumi's legs lay snugly between Watari's,
his hip on his lover's, both men connected and entwined in multiple ways.
Watari bathed in the sensation of warmth and closeness, of the sheer
physical presence, of the powerful aura around the older man. In these
moments it was almost palpable, surrounding him with its strength.
"I love you," Tatsumi whispered, fingers gliding over Watari's rib,
following the curve of the bones under the pale skin.
Watari just smiled.
Tatsumi watched his lover as he typed away at the computer, face a mask
of concentration, busy with one of the latest research projects ordered
by Konoe. Two weeks had passed and things were getting more or less back
on track. Watari still had moments of insecurity, when he would hesitate,
look like he wasn't sure he was allowed to feel what he did for Tatsumi,
but they were getting rare. Tatsumi saw to it that Watari received all
the reassurances he needed, either physically or just by being there when
he needed a presence close by.
It was throughout those times that something he had pushed away had
come back, a thought that had struck him the moment he had entered the
old church, seeing the destruction.
An hour later, throughout lunch break, he finally addressed the topic
he had been wanting to ask Watari about. They were alone since Hisoka and
Tsuzuki were on a case.
"Yutaka?"
Amber golden eyes looked up from the wrap Watari had gotten himself
for lunch. "Yes?"
"When you use your powers to animate an inanimate object… you touch
it, right?"
Watari bit into his wrap and chewed, nodding. "Yep."
"How many have you given life at the same time and remained in control
of?"
A slight frowned marred the handsome face. "Huh?"
Tatsumi raised an eyebrow.
"Uh, I rarely do that kinda thing, Seii…" Watari answered. "I mean,
I did pull Tsuzuki out of the book, which was hard enough, but…"
"You very rarely have the chance to use your potential," Tatsumi finished.
His lover nodded. "Why are you asking?"
"You gave life to every picture, tapestry and statue in that church,
'Taka."
The frown deepened.
"You didn't touch them."
"Oh." Silence. "Right." A new frown. "right…"
"So I was wondering what you did."
Watari let the wrap sink onto his plate and leaned back, clearly puzzled.
"I never thought about it, but… I really don't know. The demon was tormenting
me and I just… well… threw everything I had at him. It was like a brief
rush and then… I blacked out."
"So stress might account for this multiplication of potential," Tatsumi
mused thoughtfully.
Watari said nothing, just looked intrigued by the possibility.
"Could you animate the picture over there?" Tatsumi asked and gestured
at the kitten calendar at the other side of the break room.
Wakaba had one day brought it along, hung it up, crooned over the happy
kittens and how cute they were, and no one had had the heart to remove
it since then. Currently it showed two cuddly tabbies playing.
Watari frowned. "No idea. I mean… I need to touch things, y'know."
"Just try it."
Watari shrugged and Tatsumi felt power gather. The blond wasn't some
low level magic user, but he also didn't come exactly close to his own
or even Tsuzuki's level.
Nothing happened.
More power rose.
003 hooted softly, feathers rising, then she fluttered over to the
picture as if having a closer look whether or not something was happening.
From one minute to the next the energy levels dropped and Watari exhaled
slowly.
"Nope, impossible. I can feel the power's there, but I can't use it.
Let me touch the image and it works."
But he had brought the whole church to live. Even accounting for the
measure of stress and mental pressure, he should at least have been able
to make the kittens twitch now. Tatsumi thoughtfully tapped a finger against
his lips, not looking at the blond until Watari appeared right in front
of his face, waving a hand.
"Hey?" he called, grinning. "You in there?"
"Huh? Oh, yes…" He gave him a smile.
"So… do I pass or do I have to check myself into the infirmary?" the
blond asked cheerfully.
"You pass. I'm just intrigued by the difference. I don't really understand
it…"
"The day you understand shinigami powers is the day I'll call you Professor,
Seii."
He chuckled. "I doubt that would be any time soon."
Watari leaned forward and kissed him briefly, the contact tender and
fleeting. Before Tatsumi could say something, amber golden eyes smirked
at him.
"I know, I know, no kissing, groping, fondling or worse at work. It
wasn't technically a kiss either."
"It wasn't?" Tatsumi asked, amused.
"Nope."
"What was it then?"
"Uh, not a kiss."
He smiled and fisted his hand into the wide pullover Watari insisted
to hide underneath at work. He pulled him close, kissing him, his own rules
be damned.
Watari blinked at him when they separated, then broke into a wide grin.
"See? That's a kiss! Mine was just like.. a handshake!"
"Only you, 'Taka."
"Well, if I were anyone else you wouldn't kiss me, right?"
"Right."
Blue eyes met golden ones and Tatsumi wished this wasn't just an office
break. Reluctantly he detached himself. Watari just gave him a reassuring
smile mixed with a promise that they would continue tonight.
But the strange flare of power in the church wouldn't leave his mind,
even when he had returned to his desk.
Author's final notes:
You might notice my different take on the characters. Just a few words to them.
Tsuzuki: he's such an interesting character that I just couldn't resist.
On one side he has an incredible power and twelve shikigami under his command,
who apparently flocked to him, drawn to his person. On the other side we
have a fragile soul who is laden with guilt, who puts up an almost child-like
façade, indulges in sweets and appears to be a lazy moron. That's
the side he presents to the world and only a few people see what he really
is. He cultivated that image for seventy years, but he is effectively Enma-Daiou's
strongest weapon.
At least that's my take.
Now to Watari: I don't follow the line of the mad scientist. He's a shinigami, he has a sector he's responsible for, and he's powerful. That he likes lab work and tinkers around with this and that in the manga is what I see as a hobby. He was an engineer before he died, not a chemist or biologist. I read the character description on him by the mangaka and she added a line that more or less states that one should be careful of him should he ever get serious. For me, Watari presents as much a front to the world as does Tsuzuki.
Touda-Tsuzuki: it's a relationship that fascinated me the moment Touda appeared. Touda's expression of wonder and hope when Tsuzuki comes into his cell, his fascination and Tsuzuki's kind smile, drew me in. I'm not sure what happened between them, what Tsuzuki felt and how he found him (I've read 1-10 so far), but I think it's an intense relationship where neither party talks a lot about it. Then again, all his shikigami are intensely bound to their 'master'. It makes Tsuzuki even more interesting as a character and if my braincell ever gets straightened out, I'll get the idea to paper that's been roaming around inside my head.
Tatsumi: okay, so he's a bean counter, but he's also a shinigami and
with it another weapon for Enma-Daiou. He's not a complete paper pusher,
he does partner up with Watari and goes into the world of the living to
investigate. I like him a lot, just like Tsuzuki, and while I get all warm
and fuzzy at the scenes with them together in the manga, I think that time
has passed. They're friends now, friends who understand a lot about the
other that doesn't have to be talked about or said out loud.