Rough Path





Chapter 2: Is there even an us?



Abby woke up and looked to her side. He was still there, he didn't go anywhere.

She looked at him, he was sleeping so peacefully. It took so long for him to get back to sleep, she just wished that he would talk to her about Africa, but she was going to wait until he was ready to tell her ...



What happened to us? When did we start pushing each other away?, she thought to herself as she touched his face.



Did this start when I went to be with Eric instead of being with John when he needed me the most? There were so many questions she needed answers for. But would she get them?

She crawled out of the bed, trying to make as little noise as she could. She didn't want to wake him. She went into the bathroom to have a shower.



***

Abby walked out of the bathroom just as Carter was waking up.

"You're still here? I thought you had gone to work.", Carter said, as he climbed out of the bed.


"I don't start for another hour or so.", Abby said.

She looked up at Carter She never realized just how much she missed him. But did he miss me? She missed everything about him.

The way that he could just look at her, making her forgot about everything that happened before he left for Africa. All she wanted to do was to go back to where they were before. But they couldn't, could they?



She went up to him and put her arms around him, held him tightly, not wanting to let him go. Because that would mean she would have to ask the question that answer she didn't really want to know.

Carter looked at Abby.

"What is wrong?" he asked, concerned.

But instead of asking him what she wanted to know, she said "Nothing."



"Do you want some breakfast?", Abby asked as she walked into the kitchen.

Carter grabbed a hold of Abby's arm. "We need to talk about what happened before I left."

Abby turned around. "Oh do you mean when you left me to go to Africa? Would you have told me if I hadn't bumped into you that night? Or would I just be wondering where you were?"



Carter looked at Abby and he saw sadness in her eyes. I made her like that; I never wanted to hurt her. He wanted to tell her everything. That he didn't want to leave for Africa because he wanted to get away from her. He left because he was so confused about his life. Gamma's death affected him more than he ever thought; she was more like a mother to him than his real mother.



"I didn't plan on going to Africa, but Luka phoned me. I thought it was a good time to go, you knew that I was planning on going to Africa for a while."

"I know, but I thought we would talk about it first, not that you just tell me the day before you were going. I didn't even know if you were coming back." Abby said, as tears started to fall down her cheeks.



"I have to go now." she said as she wiped her tears away and started to walk out of the apartment.

"You said that you didn't have to go for a while." he said as he went up to her.

Abby turned to face him. "Well, I have to go."

"Abby, we need to talk about this, don't leave."

"No.", she said as she stormed out of the apartment.



Carter couldn't believe what just happened. He hurt the one person that meant the most to him. He never wanted to hurt her. But he was hurting inside so much because of Gamma's death that he wouldn't have been any good in Chicago. So he had to get away. But his time in Africa made him realize what he had with Abby, she was his soul mate.

When he was watching Gillian and Luka together, all he could think about was Abby and all the great times they had together.

Carter sat on the floor, with his hands on his face, more lost than before.



**

Abby walked towards the ER. Susan was sitting outside in the ambulance bay.

"I thought you didn't start for another hour?" Susan asked.

"I decided to come in early, is that okay?" Abby snapped at Susan, as she walked into the ER, going straight into the lounge.

She sat down on the couch, she was so confused. She thought that as soon as Carter got back from Africa that everything would start to

get better, but it was worse than before. She could always talk to him about everything but now it seemed they couldn't even talk about the most simple things.

She should be happy that John was home safely from Africa, but she couldn't. She wanted to know, what had been on her mind since the night he left for Africa.

Did we break up?



"Abby.", said a voice softly.

Abby looked up and saw Susan standing in front of her. "Are you okay?", Susan asked. She could see that Abby was upset.

"I'm fine, I didn't mean to snap at you out there." Abby said as she stood up.

"That is okay." Susan said as she went up to Abby.

"Did you know that John is back?" Abby asked.

"Why aren't you happy then?" Susan wanted to know.

"It is complicated. I'm happy that he is home, but I just don't know if John and me are still together, as we left each other on such a bad note.", Abby said as she went to make herself a coffee.

"You love Carter, don't you?" Susan asked.

Abby turned around with the cup in her hand, she didn't say anything. But Susan knew the answer by Abby's expression on her face.



"I know that Carter loves you, you are just going through a rough path right now. Just talk to him." Susan said.



Chuny then entered the lounge. "Susan, there's a trauma coming in."

"Okay, I'm coming," Susan said. "I'll see you later." she added as she left the lounge.





***

A few hours later.



Carter entered the ER, and went straight to the admitting desk.

"Have you seen Abby?" he asked Jing Mei

She looked up at him. "When did you get back?"

"I got back yesterday, where is Abby?" he asked again.

"I think she is in exam room 2."

"Thanks.", he said as he started walking towards the exam room Abby was coming out of. They both looked at each other, not saying a word, as they were unsure of what to say.

"Abby, we need to talk." Carter said, making the first move.

She looked up at him. "I don't think there is anything left to say.", she answered as she started to walk off.

"Please, just for a few minutes." Carter pleaded. "When is your break?"

She turned around. "Okay, we can talk." she said as they walked out of the ER.

There was a silent moment between the both of them.



"Let's sit down," Abby said as they reached the bench.

Carter took a deep breath before he began.

"I never wanted to hurt you, but I needed some time away from here."

"I know you would never hurt me on purpose, but do you know what it has been like for me these past few weeks since you've been gone? ", Abby replied as she turned to face Carter, taking a hold of his hand "I have been so worried about you, I didn't know if you were dead or alive. You went somewhere that was so dangerous, you could have easily got hurt or even killed!" Abby said with tears in her eyes.

She looked up at him and could tell from the expression on his face that something happened in Africa.

"John, what happened in Africa, did you get hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," he said, but Abby knew him better than anybody else, he was hiding something from her.

Abby put her arms around him. He looked up at her.

"You don't need to worry, I'm home and that is all you need to know." Carter said.

He wanted to tell her, but he didn't really know what to think about what happened in Africa. He never felt the way he felt when he had that gun to his head. He knew that his life could be over in a matter of seconds, and he didn't even tell Abby that he loved her before he left.


"Of course, I worry about you, I…", but she stopped before she said any more, as she couldn't say it, not right now.


"John, what happened to us?", Abby said, as she rested her head on his shoulder.

He looked at her. "I don't know." he answered, unsure about his relationship just as much as she was.

"I need to ask you something, John." she said as she stood up.

"What?" Carter said as he came up to her.

She looked up at him, she wasn't sure if she wanted to ask him, as she was scared of what the answer would be.

"Never mind." she said as she started walking away from him.

Carter went up to her and touched her shoulder.

"Tell me."

She turned around. "The night that I saw you before you left, I got a sense that we were breaking up that night, is that true? Are we over?"



To be continued!!!