Next chapter here already! I seem to be getting through his fanfic v. quick.
Which could account for the quality of course.
Heh :-)
No disclaimers here. I mean, isn't it obvious I don't write/own Animorphs?
I just publically humiliate and randomise them on a regular basis.
Just then as Rachel was glowering and making various threats which seemed to revolve around setting light to her minions' pom-poms and dressing them in tweed, Tobias squawked and flapped a wing at her to be quiet.
Rachel, Tobias and Chloe stood in bemusement as they heard the voices coming down from the top of the lift shaft.
"No! I - just can't do it!"
"You have to Marco! You're the only one who can mimic Rachel properly!"
"I can't say it!"
"Try!"
There was a pause and a small sobbing noise.
"Let's - let's...let's - are you insane?!"
"No Marco! That's your catchphrase!"
"But I JUST CAN'T SAY IT!"
There was another, longer pause. Tobias giggled in thoughtspeak and Rachel hit him.
"Let's - let's do it!" they heard Marco choke out at the top of the lift shaft.
"See, that wasn't so hard."
Rachel, Tobias and Chloe watched as the floor number above the lift began counting down to Floor 59. Rachel scowled.
Jake, Marco, Ax and Cassie stumbled out. Marco had red eyes where he'd obviously been crying.
Cassie frowned. "What the...what is this place? Rachel?"
"It's got to be as big as the Yeerk pool!" Jake said, looking around with that wide-eyed look that always drove Cassie wild...(it made him remind her of a lemur).
"Actually, it was the Yeerk pool!" Chloe said cheerfully. "Or part of it. The Yeerks are making a killing in the real estate market, what with their like massive place, and Rachel managed to get some for free, 'cause she made an offer to Chapman, and he didn't accept, so she gave him a lapdance, and -"
"Shut up!" Rachel hissed, elbowing the surprised blonde.
"EEEEEW!" Marco sniffed. "She gave CHAPMAN a LAPDANCE?"
"Of course I didn't," Rachel said.
"Thank God!"
"I can't lapdance to save my life. I did him a striptease instead."
"EEEEEEEW!" the Animorphs said unanimously, with the exception of Tobias who was fantasising.
"So what is this place anyway?" Jake asked hastily.
"The Top Secret Society of Pissed-Off Blondes," Rachel announced, waving an arm vaguely around. "The Society that fights against unfair and stereotypical blonde jokes. Only," she grinned, "we fight literally. I've taken all psychopathic (yet totally style-conscious and like so preppy) blondes into my army, and am now training them to use weapons, work heavy machinery, and learn the alphabet off by heart."
"That one was haard," Chloe complained.
"Anyways, sorry guys, but I've moved beyond Animorphs now. I'm an evil supervillain! And," she continued, drawing a specially sharpened pom-pom from her pocket, "I'm going to have to feed you to the gerbils."
"Gerbils?"
Chloe shuddered. "Piranhas are just like, so icky."
"Sorry. Bye guys." Rachel pressed a button on the handle of her pom-pom.
There was a pause.
Rachel prodded another button.
"What's - wrong - with this bloody thing? GAAAH!"
"I think you'll find you're just holding it the wrong way round, Boss," Chloe offered helpfully.
{I too agree with Chloe} Ax stated.
The other Animorphs glared at him.
{What? I haven't said anything this chapter!}
"RAAAARGH!!" Rachel roared, and smashed the thing to pieces on the floor. She frowned at the Animorphs. "Well, you may have foiled me this time, Animorphs..."
"Any minute now..." Marco murmured, looking at his watch.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAH{cough}HAHAHAHAH!!!" Rachel laughed manically.
"Yes!" Marco shouted, punching the air and earning him strange looks from the others.
"Just, tie them up, OK?" Rachel gestured to Chloe. "And make sure it's tight. And durable. And colour-coordinated."
So while Chloe was busy tying Jake, Marco, Cassie and Ax up with hair ribbons (albeit steel-reinforced hair ribbons) the four watched as, in one corner, a group of blondes were impaling a test dummy and spraying hairspray into its eyes, another group of blondes who were standing ruefully looking at their forklift trucks which had collided, another group of blondes which were sitting in front of a blackboard, and Rachel, who was shouting at her minions on the laser gun.
"This has to be the weirdest mission we've ever been on," Marco whispered.
"No way!" Jake said. "What about the oatmeal?"
Just then Fluffykins the white cat ran across in front of them, followed by a group of blondes squealing and going "OOOOH!" in the presence of a cute fluffy animal.
Well, a bloody evil cute fluffy animal.
"OOOAARGHGETITOFFME!" one screeched as Fluffykins decided it wasn't all that cute and fluffy, actually.
"I take it back...oatmeal has nothing on this..."
"Hey!" said Cassie. "Isn't that Melissa Chapman?"
Rachel had noticed Melissa too. She ran over and air-kissed her.
Then kissed her on the cheek.
Then Melissa kissed her on the lips.
Soon there was a pretty heavy make-out session going on the floor of the lair, watched by at least twenty blondes (which only adds up to ten brain cells :-) ).
"Heeey," said Jake, a bit slow on the uptake. "Do you think there's something going on between those two?"
"Who'd have guessed?" asked Marco, awed.
"I thought Rachel was going out with Tobias! She never tells me anything!" Cassie pouted, showing disturbingly blonde-like tendencies.
{Nah} said Tobias, appearing beside them. {That was just for show. I really like...} He blushed. {Ax!}
{I love you too Tobias!} Ax squealed.
{Really?}
{Of course honeykins!}
Tobias freed Ax and the two ran off into the crowd, accompanied by yells of "Oh look, a PONY!" from the surrounding blondes.
"Let's get out of here, quick," Marco said.
"Definitely."
"But how?" asked Cassie.
"Heh," Marco smirked, pulling a mobile phone out of his pocket (how, when his hands were tied together I don't know, but he did). "I think I know someone who'd be very interested in this place..."
"Who you gonna call?"
Jake beamed. "GHOSTBUSTERS!!!"
"No Jake, not Ghostbusters."
"Aw," he pouted. "Jerry Springer?"
"No, not Jerry Springer. Although actually..." Marco considered it. "Nah. Not Jerry Springer."
Jake stamped his foot.
"AW! I wanna be on TV! I wanna be on TV!"
"Just let me make the call, will you?"
Jake and Cassie waited while Marco talked on his mobile.
"Hey..." said Cassie to Jake. "There's something I've been wondering about..."
"Yes?"
"D'ya reckon Rachel knows that laser gun is upside down?"
Yey! Slash!
Albeit random humourous slash, but still slash.
Heh, I just thought of something...but it'll have to wait till next chapter.
Who is Marco calling?
Well I know, so :-P. You'll just have to wait.
Please review!
Which could account for the quality of course.
Heh :-)
No disclaimers here. I mean, isn't it obvious I don't write/own Animorphs?
I just publically humiliate and randomise them on a regular basis.
Just then as Rachel was glowering and making various threats which seemed to revolve around setting light to her minions' pom-poms and dressing them in tweed, Tobias squawked and flapped a wing at her to be quiet.
Rachel, Tobias and Chloe stood in bemusement as they heard the voices coming down from the top of the lift shaft.
"No! I - just can't do it!"
"You have to Marco! You're the only one who can mimic Rachel properly!"
"I can't say it!"
"Try!"
There was a pause and a small sobbing noise.
"Let's - let's...let's - are you insane?!"
"No Marco! That's your catchphrase!"
"But I JUST CAN'T SAY IT!"
There was another, longer pause. Tobias giggled in thoughtspeak and Rachel hit him.
"Let's - let's do it!" they heard Marco choke out at the top of the lift shaft.
"See, that wasn't so hard."
Rachel, Tobias and Chloe watched as the floor number above the lift began counting down to Floor 59. Rachel scowled.
Jake, Marco, Ax and Cassie stumbled out. Marco had red eyes where he'd obviously been crying.
Cassie frowned. "What the...what is this place? Rachel?"
"It's got to be as big as the Yeerk pool!" Jake said, looking around with that wide-eyed look that always drove Cassie wild...(it made him remind her of a lemur).
"Actually, it was the Yeerk pool!" Chloe said cheerfully. "Or part of it. The Yeerks are making a killing in the real estate market, what with their like massive place, and Rachel managed to get some for free, 'cause she made an offer to Chapman, and he didn't accept, so she gave him a lapdance, and -"
"Shut up!" Rachel hissed, elbowing the surprised blonde.
"EEEEEW!" Marco sniffed. "She gave CHAPMAN a LAPDANCE?"
"Of course I didn't," Rachel said.
"Thank God!"
"I can't lapdance to save my life. I did him a striptease instead."
"EEEEEEEW!" the Animorphs said unanimously, with the exception of Tobias who was fantasising.
"So what is this place anyway?" Jake asked hastily.
"The Top Secret Society of Pissed-Off Blondes," Rachel announced, waving an arm vaguely around. "The Society that fights against unfair and stereotypical blonde jokes. Only," she grinned, "we fight literally. I've taken all psychopathic (yet totally style-conscious and like so preppy) blondes into my army, and am now training them to use weapons, work heavy machinery, and learn the alphabet off by heart."
"That one was haard," Chloe complained.
"Anyways, sorry guys, but I've moved beyond Animorphs now. I'm an evil supervillain! And," she continued, drawing a specially sharpened pom-pom from her pocket, "I'm going to have to feed you to the gerbils."
"Gerbils?"
Chloe shuddered. "Piranhas are just like, so icky."
"Sorry. Bye guys." Rachel pressed a button on the handle of her pom-pom.
There was a pause.
Rachel prodded another button.
"What's - wrong - with this bloody thing? GAAAH!"
"I think you'll find you're just holding it the wrong way round, Boss," Chloe offered helpfully.
{I too agree with Chloe} Ax stated.
The other Animorphs glared at him.
{What? I haven't said anything this chapter!}
"RAAAARGH!!" Rachel roared, and smashed the thing to pieces on the floor. She frowned at the Animorphs. "Well, you may have foiled me this time, Animorphs..."
"Any minute now..." Marco murmured, looking at his watch.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAH{cough}HAHAHAHAH!!!" Rachel laughed manically.
"Yes!" Marco shouted, punching the air and earning him strange looks from the others.
"Just, tie them up, OK?" Rachel gestured to Chloe. "And make sure it's tight. And durable. And colour-coordinated."
So while Chloe was busy tying Jake, Marco, Cassie and Ax up with hair ribbons (albeit steel-reinforced hair ribbons) the four watched as, in one corner, a group of blondes were impaling a test dummy and spraying hairspray into its eyes, another group of blondes who were standing ruefully looking at their forklift trucks which had collided, another group of blondes which were sitting in front of a blackboard, and Rachel, who was shouting at her minions on the laser gun.
"This has to be the weirdest mission we've ever been on," Marco whispered.
"No way!" Jake said. "What about the oatmeal?"
Just then Fluffykins the white cat ran across in front of them, followed by a group of blondes squealing and going "OOOOH!" in the presence of a cute fluffy animal.
Well, a bloody evil cute fluffy animal.
"OOOAARGHGETITOFFME!" one screeched as Fluffykins decided it wasn't all that cute and fluffy, actually.
"I take it back...oatmeal has nothing on this..."
"Hey!" said Cassie. "Isn't that Melissa Chapman?"
Rachel had noticed Melissa too. She ran over and air-kissed her.
Then kissed her on the cheek.
Then Melissa kissed her on the lips.
Soon there was a pretty heavy make-out session going on the floor of the lair, watched by at least twenty blondes (which only adds up to ten brain cells :-) ).
"Heeey," said Jake, a bit slow on the uptake. "Do you think there's something going on between those two?"
"Who'd have guessed?" asked Marco, awed.
"I thought Rachel was going out with Tobias! She never tells me anything!" Cassie pouted, showing disturbingly blonde-like tendencies.
{Nah} said Tobias, appearing beside them. {That was just for show. I really like...} He blushed. {Ax!}
{I love you too Tobias!} Ax squealed.
{Really?}
{Of course honeykins!}
Tobias freed Ax and the two ran off into the crowd, accompanied by yells of "Oh look, a PONY!" from the surrounding blondes.
"Let's get out of here, quick," Marco said.
"Definitely."
"But how?" asked Cassie.
"Heh," Marco smirked, pulling a mobile phone out of his pocket (how, when his hands were tied together I don't know, but he did). "I think I know someone who'd be very interested in this place..."
"Who you gonna call?"
Jake beamed. "GHOSTBUSTERS!!!"
"No Jake, not Ghostbusters."
"Aw," he pouted. "Jerry Springer?"
"No, not Jerry Springer. Although actually..." Marco considered it. "Nah. Not Jerry Springer."
Jake stamped his foot.
"AW! I wanna be on TV! I wanna be on TV!"
"Just let me make the call, will you?"
Jake and Cassie waited while Marco talked on his mobile.
"Hey..." said Cassie to Jake. "There's something I've been wondering about..."
"Yes?"
"D'ya reckon Rachel knows that laser gun is upside down?"
Yey! Slash!
Albeit random humourous slash, but still slash.
Heh, I just thought of something...but it'll have to wait till next chapter.
Who is Marco calling?
Well I know, so :-P. You'll just have to wait.
Please review!