The ship left port very quickly, most likely to avoid another mass of crazed fans.
"That was an odd trick," Harry said to Westley. "Using a decoy limo... that is brilliant really."
Westley shrugged. "It is a necessity. Last time that happened, those girls attacked Buttercup and Elizabeth. It got dangerous after awhile."
Crew members dressed in very convincing pirate apparel took the new guests' luggage to their swashbuckling themed staterooms. Jack made a dramatic gesture with his arm, motioning for the group to follow him. They headed into a large room with a big sign on the door that read "Captain's Quarters." Everyone took a seat on one of the comfortable chairs and waited for Jack to begin what looked to be a very practiced and very promising speech by the way he stood, commanding their attention.
He waited until the room was entirely quiet and then for a dramatic effect, waited even longer. He finally spoke in a deep and haunted voice. "Welcome to the Black Pearl."
He then walked out of the room.
Everyone stared at the door, surprised. About a minute later, he poked his head into the room while a huge grin, which quickly faded as he surveyed the puzzled faces.
"Not long enough?" he asked, bringing the rest of his body into the room. He looked positively crestfallen. Hermione finally spoke up.
"It was really.... dramatic," she said, choosing her words carefully. "But I think you should keep going with that. For example..." Hermione stood and walked to the center of the room. She raised her eyebrows at Jack who suddenly caught her drift and took her seat, watching attentively.
"You've got to really scare them but excite them at the same time. Observe." Hermione turned her back to them for a moment. When she turned back around, audible gasps escaped some mouths. Her eyes were filled with foreboding suspense and hew face was twisted into an evil grin. When she spoke, her voice came out as a cackle.
"You've been taken captive by the most feared men ever to sail the seven seas. Ye might as well make yerselves comfortable ye scurvy dogs for yer lives now belong to this crew. Here there be evil so devilish and so terrifying that few escape alive. Here there be anger so deep and so hateful that hardly any break loose without their hearts turning as black as coal. Here there be torture so great and so impossibly cruel that none make it out without having gone mad. Here... there be pirates." Hermione glared at each person so savagely that no one met her gaze for more than a few seconds. Her face held in it's grotesque form for a few moments before it returned to normal. "Like that!" she said cheerfully.
Everyone looked mortified, including Jack Sparrow. He finally rose slowly to his feet, wiped his eyes, and raised his trembling hands, clapping them together. The applause was slow at first but in a moment everyone was on their feet in thunderous applause. Hermione curtsied slightly, her face reddening. She took her seat back and let Jack have the floor.
"That was genius," he told her as she passed. He turned to face the group again. "Thanks very much for coming to give my Savvy Cruise Line a trial run. Like Westley said, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow and I'm in charge here. I expect you all to be as honest as Miss Granger and give me any suggestions you think up. Any questions?"
"Are you drunk?" Draco spoke up.
Jack looked at Draco as though he were a pesky fly and the ignored his question completely.
"Why did you decide to take on a Cruise Line?" Ron asked.
Will answered this one. "It's quite simple really. Everyone seems to take something called 'flights' nowadays and no one sails anymore. Piracy just isn' what it used to be."
"No kidding it isn't," Jack answered bitterly. "They call a bunch of pimple-faced kids playing with their computy music load-downing things 'pirates' now. You know how bad that makes me look?"
"They're called 'computers' and those kids download music illegally," Hermione explained.
"Well, whatever they are. Sea-faring pirates are a dying breed. I tried to take my trade into the airline business and start airline piracy but airport security being what it is..." Jack trailed off as those around him nodded empathetically. .
"The Pearl looks great Jack, I really like what you've done with the place. Did you decorate yourself?" Will was fingering the wall hangings.
"No, Ann Marie came in an did it for me. She's brilliant, honestly."
Westley chimed in. "I'm so jealous. I was too busy ordering a crew around to really do what I'd wanted with Revenge. She was always somewhat of a mess I'm afraid. I had marvelous ideas though, especially for the sails. I thought a deep burgundy would be a nice change, don't you?"
"I actually stuck with the black for the mysery. It gives off a rather dangerous feel, doesn't it? However burgundy would have looked nice on Revenge. I was thinking of sprucing her up a tad with some nice leather tassels before I sold her. I also wanted to paint her a rich red color...." The three men were suddenly aware that they were being watched. Everyone looked rather confused. Jack cleared his throat. "Ehem. Well, what I mean to say is I wanted to paint it ... um... blood red... with blood of men I've killed of course, you know. I'm.... I'm a pirate after all."
Elizabeth shook her head and shot an odd look at her husband. She turned back to Jack, whose face was still a little red. "So what entertainment do you have planned for your cruises?" Elizabeth asked.
"Lizzie, darling, you'll love it. But hang on, wait 'till tonight and you'll see what I've got planned. Now, Westley, I want you to meet two men I've hired." Jack went and knocked soundly on the closed door. The door opened revealing two men. One was around seven-and-a-half feet tall. The second was the Spaniard Harry had seen earlier on the boat. Westley's face split into a smile and in a few strides, he was to the men, hugging them tightly. Buttercup allowed them to kiss her perfect hand.
"Hello lady!" the giant cried as he beamed down at Buttercup. He saw Harry, Ron, and Hermione who had risen out of their chairs. "Oh look Inigo! Little people!"
"Church and steeple," the Spaniard answered, causing the giant to joyously clap his hands.
"Kids, meet Inigo Montoya and Fezzik– two very good friends of ours." Westley turned back to the odd pair. "These are our new young friends. You remember Max and Valerie? Well this is their great-grandson Harry and his friends Ron and Hermione... oh and some other kids who torture him so don't say hi to them."
Draco stepped behind Crabbe's huge body. "Crap, now the giant hates us too."
"These kids are real honest-to-goodness bonafide wizards, my friends." Again, Westley turned back to Harry. "Inigo is a Wizard in his own right. A Wizard with the sword. He is the best swordsman known in the world at this point in time. And Fezzik here... it's rather obvious why he's special. A giant of a man with a giant heart to go with." There was a series of "aww"s from those watching.
Inigo spoke to Westley and his wife. "We have not seen you for so long. We were excited when Jack said he was having you come along."
Fezzik leaned down and whispered to Westley. "We like Jack. He is like Vicinni. He knows what to do. Plus I get to think and rhyme all I want. And we don't have to kill anyone... just pretend."
"Pardon me, Mr. Fezzik," Hermione said timidly.
Fezzik laughed loudly. "I'm not Mr. Fezzik. Just Fezzik."
"All right... Fezzik... I have a question. Are you at all related to a man named Hagrid?"
Fezzik scratched his head. "I don't think so."
Hermione shrugged. Jack took this moment to excuse everyone to their staterooms. As they all filed out, he told Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle to stay for a moment. Ron practically skipped across the deck. He could hardly believe he was actually on a cruise. "Wait until my brothers hear about this!" he cried.
"This is actually very nicely done," Hermione said as they passed room after beautiful room. Harry and Ron were sharing a stateroom and Hermione had one to herself next door. Once everyone was unpacked, they met out in the hallway. Draco and his two cronies shuffled up.
"What'd he say to you Malfoy?" Harry asked with a glare. Draco mumbled something in reply. "What was that Malfoy? Didn't quite hear you..."
"He said he only offered the free cruise to friends."
"What does that mean?" Ron wondered, hooting at the folded towel parrot in his room.
"It means they have three choices." Jack walked up to the group, his gold teeth glinting in the light. "One- we turn this ship around, drop them back off at the dock, two- they stay on the ship and work as cabin boys, or three- they are exceptionally nice to us all. If they decide against those options, we'll throw 'em in a paddle boat and wish 'em the best of luck. These waters are infested with sharks and eels so we don't know how far they'd get."
"We'll stay..." Draco muttered, "And be nice..."
"Hold on!" Hermione giggled. "You'd rather be nice to us than go back to Max's for the week?"
"Well..." Draco looked at Crabbe and Goyle who nodded. "We aren't going to be mopping up any poop deck and... those girls might still be waiting at the dock. I don't want to get attacked again," Draco muttered.