A Spy's Perspective
Disclaimer: I always forget to write these. I own nuttin.
So it became a two-shot. Probably would have been best if I had left it a one shot buuut, here we go. This is, however, the last one unless I come up with a plot which is unlikely, SO, if you like the whole Mystique thing, read my story Tradgedy's Touch. It's got quite a bit of Mystique. So far at least. It'll become a Rogue focused fic but the beginning is her birth so I had to focus mainly on Mystique and ppls. I'm personally quite proud of that fic but no one's reading it. Cries So if your bored go R&R… please?! gets on knees and begs lol. Alright, I'm being pitiful, I'll leave ya'll alone now to read more of what Mystique be t'inking in my head.
[Two-shot] haha
I just watched them go. I didn't know what else to do.
"Save it Mystique!"
"Even you don't believe your excuses so just, leave us alone."
It wasn't an excuse, it was the truth. Of course they didn't believe me, how could they? They should have though. Reading how I had come to the stupid conclusion I did I mentioned that Rogue was a thinker. She should have been able to see why I had done it. I guess I'm just not one thing she wants to think about.
See, I had done it, of course I had. It seemed right. Rogue and I would be safe if we helped Apocalypse. He was going to get out one way or another, or at least that's what I had thought. Truth was, without Rogue and I, he never could have gotten out. All of this could have been prevented if I would have just decided not to go through with it. Mesmero was manipulative though, even though he could not get into my mind, he messed with it. The way he spoke of things… I should have known.
When I was in that room, I knew something wasn't right. Something just felt wrong. I knew that Rogue was on the other side of that door though, standing next to that man. What I was doing for her, was good. And if I didn't do it… I didn't know if he'd hurt her or not. I didn't know if I'd be able to stop him in time. I didn't trust him, but I guess I had trusted him enough…
When I touched that stone, when my skin brushed against it, I knew I should have let go, I knew that it had been a mistake, but for some reason I reacted to late. I guess I was just stunned. It wasn't until my hand started into stone that I felt the real shrill horror that I should have felt sooner. I had known that I was as good as dead and that Mesmero had lied. Rogue wasn't going to be okay, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had just handed her over to a man who was going to kill her! Or at least I thought, in that instance, that that was what was going to happen. It was happening to me… and I could hardly believe it.
I was wrong even then though. I'm starting to miss the days when I used to be right. They're somehow so far behind me now. When did that change? I used to know what I was doing, all the time. Even when I didn't I was sure I did, yet somehow it had all changed on me. I wish I knew what had changed that. Probably the fact that it's my kids. I can plot things just fine, I think I proved that when I masqueraded as Charles, it's just when things come down to Rogue, and even Kurt, that I mess up.
I had thought it had been over, as I had become stone. I had thought that that had been the end. I was wrong though. How I could still hear and think, I don't know. It doesn't make much sense at all, especially after Charles tried to reach my mind. I must admit I never put my mental sheilds down. I would never weaken myself for Charles, never, not even in a situation like that. I must admit though, I was surprised each time he registered no brain activity, for I was thinking constantly. Thinking was all I had to do. The thoughts haunted me, but not as much as when Kurt and Rogue started arguing about me. Kurt cared, Rogue didn't. I guess that's the easy way to put it.
I guess there was something abnormal about my stone self, not that the stone self in itself wasn't abnormal. It was able to react to one of my emotions, yet Charles couldn't penetrate it to get into my mind or even sense it, not that I would have let him if he could have. Or maybe he could have and my sheilds are better then even I think. I don't think that is the case though.
I must admit I was quite astounded by just how disrespectful the brotherhood boys really are. Wanda seems the only one with any sense of it. She really turned out to be quite a different person without all that hostility.
When she had mentioned Agatha, I had thought there to be hope. Or, some sort of it. The Brother Hood sure wasn't going to waste their moments of doing nothing trying to get a hold of her let alone meeting her. They were having too much fun trying to figure out what crude things to do with me. No feelings Mr. Tolanskey? HA!
Kurt had been there though, he'd come to bring me back to the institute. He cared. I can't help but wonder what changed that from that point to when I finally had control again. My only thought can be Rogue, Rogue had done it. I can't help but feel anger at that thought. I'd finally found my son actually cared, and Rogue turned him on me. That's the only explanation I can come up with.
Once again, I find myself further ahead then I want to be right now. Kurt brought me back to the institute. He talked to me, he asked me things I want to answer now, things I would have answered if I had been there. It had been a comfort, really, to get to listen to him speak, to hear his voice. It was amazing, I had thought, how little he was upset with me. It was mostly sadness and confusion, but hardly any anger. Quite a relief from my thoughts of Rogue. But then she found me, or rather whatever form of me that I was.
What she wanted was simple. She wanted me out, she didn't want me near her, she didn't want me near Kurt. It really wasn't fair to Kurt, not at all. She let her rage against me hurt others; hurt Kurt.
During the meeting with Agatha, I had thought there was hope. When Rogue showed up, and Agatha explained what had to be done, I hadn't known what to think. I had been so close to freedom, but the one that could give it to me, hated me. Rogue, Rogue could have touched me, just a breif second, and I would have been free.
Kurt tried to talk her into it, and for a second there, I believed she would have done it. In that second, I had to fear that by absorbing my mutation and setting me free of the stone, she'd trap herself in it. I really didn't get to think long on it. An exclaimed 'No!' and then the feeling of falling over the side of a cliff just kinda pulled me out of my thoughts.
I think it was then that I became a slave to Apocolyapse. I think before then I had been out of his reach, stuck in that stone. I'll never know for sure, but that's when I think I lost complete control.
Even with my body attacking the X-men, my powers advanced beyond my wildest dreams, I knew what was going on. I was fighting Kurt though, and that took me out of my euphoria. Yes, my euphoria. The thought of possibly being able to do what I was doing then, was ecstasy to me. If Kurt had not been in danger then I think I would have been satisfyed under Apocalypses rule if I would have such powers.
My ecstasy was short lived. I guess that's alright for it left me in control… finally. Yet I was left in control to be left alone. I tried to make amends then, with them both. I was shocked when it was Kurt to stop me first.
"Save it Mystique!"
I hadn't expected them to forgive me, especially not that easily. But Kurt? The way he had spoken before was as if he was going to give me a second chance. What had changed within that length of time? I hadn't done anything else wrong, nothing that I could control. He couldn't blame that fight in the Sphinx on me or else he'd have to blame Storm and Charles.
And so, I have come to the conclusion that it had been Rogue. Sometime after she'd tried to send me to my death she must have convinced him that I didn't care about him, that I would only hurt him. She's completely convinced I hate her, that I hate them both. I've lost them both now, if she wants to believe I hate her, I mine as well be incriminated for acts in which I commit.
You want me to hate you Rogue, fine. What you've experienced though isn't my hate, you've yet to experience that.
[Fin]
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