Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men, X-Men:Evolution or any of its iterations.

This takes place during Day of Reckoning – Part 1. (Season 2 Episode 16 or overall episode 29)

The Blame Game – Chapter 3 – What Have I Done?

Scott sat on his sports car's front hood, looking out over the sight of Bayville below him from Lookout Point. How many times did he wish he was here? All those daydreams - just him and Jean – no one else – not a care in the world.

But that was not why he was here today. Not even close.

He had just come from the Institute where he failed miserably in leading the team in a training exercise against 'Magneto.'

The Professor had brought in the Brotherhood to fill in the ranks, since according to Xavier the New Mutants were not up to speed yet. Scott could still see how much yellow paint the newbies were plastered with on his way out. They took those hits under his command.

During the mission debriefing, Scott's temper got the better of him and he stormed out after an angry exchange with Lance Alvers. Jean tried to stop him but Scott's pride told him to keep walking.

Nice leadership by example, you nitwit. Where was Mr. Calm and Collected now when the heat was really on? He knew all along Jean would be the better deputy team leader. If anyone else had any doubts about that, he just made the case for her as leader crystal clear.

So now what, Mr. Genius? Where to now that you walked out on the Institute?

He thought about joining Alex in Hawaii but decided against it. It wouldn't be fair to the Masters. :Oh, sure, Scott – we scrimp and save everything we have to help Alex pursue surfing as a profession. There no reason we can't take in a teen who's bound for college and needs a boatload of cash for that. And you need airfare to get to Hawaii – no problem. We just won't eat this week.:

He thought about crashing at his friend Paul's house but that would never work. Too many questions for the others at the Institute to handle because of his desertion. And what kind of influence would he be – look over here, I used the Professor and now I'm walking away without a care in the world. You can too.

Scott was eighteen but hadn't graduated yet. Maybe I'll just get my GED and get a job somewhere. Just some everyday place that can get prescription ruby quartz glasses for him in their medical plan.

At least it meant he could stay out of the orphanages. He was done with that whole scene.

All he had to do was move on, find a homeless shelter he could hold up in until he could find a job and earn some money for an apartment. And just survive getting mugged or beaten for his car or what little cash he had saved.

This time he would steer clear of users and bad elements like Jack Diamond. No sense in repeating those mistakes.

He just needed to go back and get his Social Security card from his desk and some clothes. It would take some negotiation, but after today it seemed like the Professor would be glad to see him go.

Or would it just be better to swallow his pride and work under Lance? His sudden increased heartbeat and breathing rate told him that just might never be possible.

He just couldn't walk away, could he? Maybe he just needed a breather from the Institute.

Yeah, that'll work.

Person in need: Hey, Scott we have a crisis here.

Scott: Yeah – I need a vacation – can I get back to you?

Then there was Jean. Or in reality, was there anything between them at all?

Could he really just leave her like this? Was he just going to be an ongoing disappointment to Jean the rest of his days? He still remembers the scowl and lecture she gave him at Asteroid M after he joined Magneto. Not exactly a gold star moment for ol' Cyclops.

Was it for the best that he leave – was it possible Duncan would never mistreat her this bad?

Time to change the subject – his blood had reached the boiling point.

All that training in the Danger Room, all the time Logan and Ororo took to help him, all the lectures and guidance from the Professor – all down the tubes because he was such a baby and had to be in charge. No matter what happened to his team members.

Scott held his head in his hands muttering, "What have I done? After this, I can never go back."

He sat up and looked down the mountain to an uncertain future. From behind him he heard a jeep's engine approaching at high speed. No doubt Lance coming to tell him the 'good news' – Avalanche just defeated Magneto without any losses and would be assuming leadership of the team.

He could hear his dad's voice, "You'll just have to suck it up and shake Lance's hand. Be a man about it for once and congratulate him."

'Never go back,' echoed in his head.

As the jeep turned the final curve and drove up, he wondered, :Wait, was that Amara and Tabby?:

The jeep braked to a screeching halt and Amara jumped out running towards him. "Scott! We've been looking everywhere for you."

Tabby appeared behind her, "The mansion's gone nuts! It's locked up tight. And there's weapons firing everywhere!"

Scott stood and grunted, "Unh? Defcon 4….."

All the angst and clutter of the past hour cleared from his head in an instant.

One thought raced into his head, assuming command.

I have to go back.

I have to go back and help the others.

Author's note: Don't ya just love to read/write the meaty angsty parts? This actually was the first piece that came to mind when I got in the mood for some heavy handed writing.

I love the pose of Scott on his car looking down on Bayville and always wondered what was going through his mind before Amara and Tabby drove up.

Sometimes as a teen you can blow things totally out of proportion. Problems seem much huger then they really are. It just takes some time (and the help of a couple of friends) to put it all in perspective.