Author's Note: I am on a writing rampage right now. Don't know why. Anyways, enjoy it while you can.

Note to pingpong: Well, I apologize for the run-on sentence. But, if you must know, it's because I never proofread my work. I type it and as soon as I reach the end of the chapter, I go post it. So, typos and mistakes and such happen. Eventually, I'll go back and proofread everything and make minor changes, but right now, I don't have the time for it.

[Disclaimer: Don't own them. End of story.]

Chapter Seventeen: Shadows of the Past

Yuffie found it strange to wake up in Squall's bed once again without Aerith breathing down their necks about it. For the past three days, the flower girl had allowed them to share the same bed without her presence in the room. Of course, she had left the connecting room door open and she would occasionally poke her head in the room to make sure nothing was going on, but, still, after the way she had been overreacting before, it was a major change for the ninja. A change for the better, for once.

Letting out an aggravated sigh, the ninja glared at the clock over the door. It was before seven in the morning and she was completely awake with no chance of falling back to sleep. Even snuggling up to her lover proved in vain because the blood rushing through her veins told her she needed to get up and move. She sat up slowly, carefully pulling out of Squall's arms as she did so, and looked around the room, hoping to find something to quietly occupy herself with until the others awoke. A glance at the half open door of the closet gave her that something.

Squall had never been one for organization. Add that to the fact that Yuffie had been rooming with him off and on for the past month, and it became a disaster. The ninja was even worse than him about keeping the place clean. So, finding nothing else to do, she decided she would take it upon herself to clean out his closet. An amazing feat if accomplished considering all the boxes overflowing with clothing, papers, pictures, and bottles of polish for his Gunblade.

She carefully slipped off the bed, turning to make sure she hadn't awakened Squall, who simply mumbled something in his sleep and rolled over, and crossed the room in stockinged feet and her long nightshirt that she had slept in. As she opened the sliding closet door the rest of the way, she winced as it made a loud creaking noise. But, a loud snore from the bed told her that it hadn't bothered the swordsman.

Kneeling in front of the door, she pulled out the first box, rather large yet light in weight. A peak over the top showed her that it was full of various papers. She reached in and pulled out a handful, glancing over them before returning them to the box as they were mostly receipts from work he had done on both his Gunblade and his Gummi ship. Folding the cardboard flaps down, she shut that box and pushed it to the side.

She repeated this process with about half a dozen boxes, except dumping out the boxes with clothing in them and re-folding it so it would fit into it better. With all the bigger boxes out of the closest, she found a small shoe box taped securely shut with duct tape sitting in the back corner. She pulled it out and looked at it questioningly, wondering if she should open it or not. After all, she knew that Squall didn't like to have his private life made public and if he went through all the trouble to tape this box so securely, he obviously didn't want anyone to peek into it. But, with a glance over her shoulder to see that he was still sleeping soundly, she began to carefully unwrap the tape from around the box.

Lifting off the lid, her eyes widened at the sight of so many pictures in one box. She leaned back against the wall and took a handful of the pictures out, sifting through them and examining each one. Vaguely familiar faces from her past stared back at her, and the background for all of the pictures seem to be from various vantages of Hollow Bastion. A short laugh left her throat when she found a picture of her six year old self, peeking out from behind a thirteen year old Aerith's skirts.

The picture behind that one caused her breath to catch in her throat. In it, a fifteen year old Squall was standing behind a young woman of about the same age with long flowing black hair with brown streaks throughout. Squall's chin rested atop the girl's shoulder and his unscarred face was leaning against hers, with his arms wrapped around her waist. But, what caused her the most pain, was the look of complete and utter happiness in his face. She had never seen that warm look in his eye. Ever. In all the years she had known him, his eyes had remained an icy blue.

Taking a deep breath, she put that picture into the pile of other pictures that she had already looked at, telling herself that it was a long time ago and he was a different person back then. The next few pictures were all of that same girl, the warm Hollow Bastion sun shining down on her and her chocolate brown eyes full of warmth and love. She appeared to be so beautiful, so perfect, so mature in every aspect. She couldn't of been any older than what Yuffie was now, yet she was already more than anything the ninja could ever dream of being.

Yuffie curiously flipped the picture over, checking to see if there was a name on the back. There was. "With love always, Rinoa." Yuffie choked as she read that name for it was the same name that Squall had mumbled in his sleep over a week ago, after they had made love for the first time. And it hurt her deeply to know that it had been a past love that he had been dreaming about after sharing that experience with her.

The ninja turned the picture over again to stare at the young woman known as Rinoa, a few tears coming to her eyes. Yuffie knew she could never measure up to her, she was far too childish looking and she would most likely keep her pixie like features far into adulthood. And once Squall regained his vision and could see her child-like looks again, he would turn away from her because she would never be the woman Rinoa would have been. The saltine tears cascaded over their dams and streamed down her face unheeded as Yuffie began to put the pictures away. She had seen enough. There was nothing left for her in that box.

The creaking of the mattress caused her to look up from her task, only to see Squall rolling over on the bed. Squall. The name that once sent shivers of excitement down her spine now only caused her pain, knowing that the one he truly loved was not her. No, all that was left of his love was a faded photograph lying in a shoebox, and Yuffie, well she was only second best. Maybe even less if Squall still had his vision.

"Yuffie?" the man of the hour called softly from the bed, reaching his arm across to the empty space where she normally slept.

The ninja quickly put the lid back on the box and foregoing the tape around it as she shoved it back into the closet. Rising from the floor, she hastily wiped away any remaining tears on her face, not wanting Squall to know that she had been crying. "What?" she whispered, her voice raspy from her tears.

Hearing the harsh quality of her voice, Squall sat up quickly, worry written on his features. "Yuffie, are you okay?" His ears picked up the soft sounds of her feet crossing the room and then the bathroom door shutting, the water running immediately afterwards. He rose to his feet and followed in her footsteps, nearly tripping over the boxes she had strewn about the room. Reaching the bathroom door, he knocked gently. "Yuffie, what's wrong?"

Inside the bathroom, Yuffie wiped the damp washrag across her face, washing away all traces of her tears as she didn't want Squall to know she had been crying. But, now that she thought about it, he couldn't see anyways, so there was no point in what she was doing. She was just acting on instinct. So, putting the wash cloth down, she slowly opened the door to find Squall still standing there, repeating his inquiry. "N-nothing," she stammered out, cursing herself for sounding so weak.

"Yuffie, don't lie to me. I know you were crying," he whispered, bringing his hand up to her cheek and stroking the smooth skin with his thumb. He felt her briefly lean into his touch but then quickly jerk away as if she had been burnt.

"I wasn't crying. I just had a coughing fit and it left me with frog in my throat," she lied, trying her hardest not to give into the touch of his hand upon her face. But, gods, it was hard when just his touch made her want to melt. The only thing that enabled her to pull away was the memory of the picture in the shoe box.

Squall reluctantly pulled his hand away from her face, sensing that something was definitely wrong with his ninja. "Okay, I'll let that stand for now. But," he paused, lifting her hand with his own and entwining their fingers, "when you're ready to tell me what's really bothering you, I'll be willing to listen."

Yuffie gently pulled her hand out of his grasp and squeezed between him and the doorframe of the bathroom. "I'm telling you, nothing is wrong. I was just cleaning out the closet and all the dust made me start coughing," she insisted, beginning to push the boxes back into their rightful place.

"Why were you cleaning out the closet?" Squall asked confusedly, carefully making his way across the room and picking up the clothes he had left lying on the table the night before.

"I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep," she told him truthfully, finally shoving the last box into the closet and shutting the sliding doors. A small smile flitted across her face as she watched him make his way across the room without stumbling once. He had really come along way since that first day of his handicap, when he had tripped over her cot and broke it. But, her smile soon left her face and was replaced by a frown as she remembered how he had treated her back then. According to him, she never could do anything right. Yes, that was how he truly felt about her. And he would return to treating her like that again once his vision returned, she thought blackly.

"What time is it anyways?" the swordsman questioned as he pulled out a chair and sat down at the table, putting his head in his hands. He knew something was wrong with Yuffie, but he couldn't figure it out. And he knew she wouldn't tell him unless she wanted him to know, which she apparently didn't. So, he would have to bide his time and try to solve the riddle himself.

"Uh... nearly ten," the ninja told him, her eyes widening when she realized how late it was and how little time she had left to get ready for her day at the infirmary. "And I'm running late. So, if you'll excuse me." She hastily grabbed some clothes and ran into the bathroom to get dressed, foregoing the shower this morning as she didn't have the time for it. She was surprised that Aerith hadn't come to make sure she was awake. But, then again, the flower girl had probably heard her messing around in the room through the propped open connecting door and had thought the ninja was preparing for work already.

Squall listened as he heard her madly rushing around the room, trying to get ready for work. But, instead of kissing him goodbye as she normally did, she left the room with a hurried 'goodbye' and a 'see ya later.' Yes, something was definitely wrong with the girl. And he would have to find a way of figuring out exactly what he had done wrong to make her act like this.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The whole day at the infirmary, Yuffie kept a false smile plastered on her face to keep both Aerith and the patients she had been assigned from asking questions. She just couldn't deal with it right now. That picture of Squall so obviously happy and in love kept swimming through her mind and eating away at her heart. How she wished she was still blissfully unaware of Rinoa. Then she would be able to happily live in the lie Squall was apparently feeding her.

Of course, she thought, it wasn't actually a lie. He hadn't told Yuffie that he loved her. So, maybe she was just a fling. Maybe she was just a plaything for him. Tears clouded her vision as these dark thoughts came to her mind, but she forced them back. She refused to cry in front of other people. And she refused to cry another tear for the man whom she believed to be toying with her heart.

But, gods, it was hard when she loved him so much. How could she keep from crying when the only man she had ever loved held his love for another? Over and over again she kept replaying when he had mumbled Rinoa's name in his sleep. She stifled the sob that threatened to erupt from her throat and earned a worried glance from her current patient. She simply waved them off and made up some lie about choking on her drink.

At least she hadn't told him that she loved him. At least he would be unable to hold that over her head. In a sick way, it made her proud that she had kept that thought to herself. It gave her an advantage over the situation, however little it may be.

At lunch, Aerith kept giving her worried glances. "Are you okay, Yuf?" she finally asked as she watched the ninja push around the food on her plate without actually taking a bite. Very strange for the teenager as she normally inhaled her meals and then went for seconds and sometimes even thirds.

"I'm fine, Aerith. Really I am," Yuffie lied, praying that the flower girl wouldn't see past the mask she had put on. It was the same cheery mask that she had used anytime Squall would insult her. He had never seen past it, but she wasn't so sure about the woman in front of her. If she had seen past it before, then she hadn't mentioned it to the ninja.

"Are you sure? Because you really don't look like yourself. Did you and Leon have a fight?"

Yuffie squeezed her eyes shut, dropped her fork, and tiredly massaged her temples. "No, Aerith. We didn't have a fight. I'm just tired, that's all. I woke up too early this morning and couldn't get back to sleep." She smiled at the fact that she managed to answer Aerith with the somewhat truth. She wasn't lying when she said they didn't have a fight, even though she was upset with Squall.

"Well, I have some news that will cheer you up, Yuf?" Aerith sang happily, her green eyes bright and a large smile on her face.

Sighing, the ninja put on her cheeriest face. "What, Aerith?"

"Leon goes back to the doctor tomorrow and, since he's been able make out the difference between shadows and lights, I think that he'll have his bandages permanently removed tomorrow. Isn't that great?! He'll be able to see again!" the flower girl said excitedly, her voice growing more enthused with each word.

"That's fantastic!" Yuffie exclaimed, playing along with the charade she had fallen into. But, inside, she felt like her heart was shattering. Tomorrow was the day Squall would be able to see again. Tomorrow would be the day he would see that she was just a child. Tomorrow would be the day he decided he couldn't be with her any longer. And Yuffie was not going to sit around and let that happen. She didn't know what she would do yet, but she knew she would have to do something.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur for Yuffie, so busy was she in throwing herself into her work in the hopes to take her mind of her current problem. So, she was surprised when Aerith came by to tell her that it was already time to meet Leon at the café for dinner. But, not knowing if she could handle being so near him without breaking into tears, she quickly spun a lie. "Aerith, I am just so sleepy right now, that I'm just going to go back to the hotel and go to bed. Can you explain to Squall for me? Please? I'm sure he'll understand," Yuffie gushed out, not giving the flower girl a chance to object before she took off towards the hotel.

But, instead of finding the solace she so desperately wanted in the Green Room, she found Squall still there, just preparing to leave. "I thought we were going to meet at the café?" he asked confusedly as he recognized Yuffie's steps in the room.

"Um.. well, you and Aerith are going to. I am just so exhausted that I'm going to go ahead and go to bed, okay?" she said softly, hoping that sounded plausible to him. She turned her back to him and walked over to the window, leaning on the sill and hoping that the fresh air would help soothe her nerves. At the feel of Squall's arms coming around her, she jumped. "Don't do that," she hissed.

"Yuffie, you know that I know that something is wrong," he whispered in her ear as he rested his chin atop her shoulder.

Recognizing their current position as the position Squall and Rinoa had been in in the picture she had found that morning, Yuffie bit her lip to hold back the tears. "I keep telling you, nothing is wrong." Unable to form a coherent thought with his arms around her and his breath blowing in her ear, she shrugged him off. "Now go to the café so Aerith won't be alone. I'll be fine here. I'm going to go to bed in a few minutes."

Squall mutely nodded and left her alone in the room, still wondering what he had done to hurt her so much. "Goodnight, Yuffie," he called softly as he shut the door behind him.

By the time the door had closed, Yuffie had made up her mind. By this time tomorrow, by the time Squall had his vision back, she, Yuffie Kisaragi, would be gone from Traverse Town. She would leave before he had the chance to hurt her by rejecting her once he could see how she would never compare to Rinoa. So, her mind made up, she quickly took her shower and climbed into the bed, hoping that she would have the courage the next day to go through with her plans.

Author's Note: Okay, there it is. Tell me what you think. Personally, I liked some parts of the chapter, but not others. BUT, I couldn't get things to work out any other way. Anyways, review for me please.