Chapter Five – There's No Place Like Home

Susan stood outside the hospital. It held a lot of memories for her – most of them good, some of them not so good. It had been five years since she had been inside its walls, and now she was back. She made her way inside, passing a very crowded waiting area, and up to the front desk, where she was greeted by an overweight desk clerk.

"Hi, I'm here to see Dr Greene," she said.

"Who are you?" he asked, bluntly.

"Susan?" came a voice, before she could answer. Susan turned to see a young doctor smiling at her.

"Hey, Carter," Susan said, as he hugged her. "How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm here to see Anspaugh about a job," Susan said.

"Really? That's great!" Carter said, enthusiastically. Susan had been one of his teachers when he was a medical student, and he had always had a lot of respect for her.

"I can see things haven't changed much," Susan said, pointing at the mass of patients waiting to be seen.

"Some things have. Did you know I changed from surgery to emergency medicine?"

"I know, I heard. Good for you," Susan replied. Although she had a lot of respect for surgeons, she had always preferred a less invasive approach to medicine and often felt that surgeons would push surgery just to get their hands dirty.

Carter laughed. "Speaking of surgery…" he said, nodding his head in the direction behind Susan's shoulder.

Susan turned to see Peter Benton approaching, with a pretty young doctor.

"Susan Lewis. Now there's a face I haven't seen I a long time. Just visiting?" Peter asked.

"Afraid not, Peter. I'm here for a job," Susan replied.

"Yeah? God pity us poor surgeons," Peter joked. "Oh, Susan this is Cleo Finch. Cleo, this is Susan Lewis. She used to work here."

"You must like it here to be coming back?" Cleo said. "Not sure I can guess what that is though!"

Susan laughed. Despite all its downfalls, Susan felt at home here.

They were interrupted by a trauma coming in, and all three doctors disappeared. Susan watched them go, thinking back to the days when Carter was a clumsy medical student and Peter was a jumped-up resident. Her thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in."

Susan smiled as Haleh came up and embraced her.

"You're looking good, girl," Haleh said.

"Thanks, do you think I'll make a good impression for my interview?" Susan asked.

"Job interview? Here?" Haleh laughed. "Girl, you must be crazy coming back!"

"So everyone keeps telling me," Susan said. "Have you seen Mark?"

"He's in trauma 2. We just had a big one come in. Speaking of which, I've got to get these to Dr Benton before he screams the place down for them."

Susan watched as Haleh hurried away. She walked down the hallway towards trauma room 2, the route surprisingly familiar to her. She stood outside for a while, watching Mark at work. He was clearly still a great doctor.

Noticing the time, she stuck her head round the door.

"Hey, Mark," she said. Mark looked up.

"Hey! Sorry, am I late?" he asked.

"Yeah, but I'll forgive you! Listen, I'm going to go upstairs and wait. Can we catch up afterwards, when you're a little less busy?"

"Sure, come and find me when you're done. Good luck!"

"Thanks," Susan smiled. As she moved out of the trauma room, she bumped into Elizabeth, who was on her way to help with the trauma.

"Oh, hello," Elizabeth said. She was still unsure of Susan, especially as she had travelled all the way to New York to visit Mark when he was sick.

"Hi, Elizabeth," Susan said.

"You're looking very smart," Elizabeth said, as she looked at Susan's outfit and feeling slightly self-conscious about her own scruffy image.

"I'm here for a job interview," Susan replied. "I'm just on my way up there now."

"Oh yes, Mark mentioned you were hoping to come back here," Elizabeth said, as one of the nurses knocked on the window to beckon her in. "Well, I'd better go. Good luck."

"Thanks," Susan said.

Susan made her way up to Anspaugh's office. She had already spoken to him on the telephone and he had made it clear that he was keen for her to rejoin the staff. The meeting was a mere formality, although she had to meet the approval of the Chief of Staff. She had also been warned that Kerry Weaver was going to be there. Susan and Kerry had rarely seen eye-to-eye when they had been working together, and Susan was worried that Kerry would make it difficult for her to come back.

Susan did not need to be worried. The Chief of Staff, Robert Romano, appeared to like her despite some of his biting comments. And although Kerry was a little distant, as usual, she also seemed keen for Susan to return. Susan guessed this was simply because they were so short-staffed, but she didn't care. She was just glad to be able to come back to County.

Susan made her way back downstairs to the ER. Mark was stood at the desk talking to a nurse. He smiled when he saw her.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"You're looking at County's newest member of staff!" Susan said.

"That's great," Mark said, hugging her. "No problems with Kerry then?"

"No, she was actually…nice," Susan laughed.

"Wonders will never cease," Mark joked. "So, do you want to start now? Abby here has a guy who thinks he's a vegetable. Abby, meet Susan Lewis."

Susan laughed. "What kind of vegetable?"

"A turnip," Abby answered.

"Bad choice. Turnips bring me out in a rash!" Susan laughed.

"Call psych. Try and turf him as soon as possible," Mark said to Abby. "I'll be over at Doc Magoo's if anyone wants me."

Mark and Susan made their way across the street to Doc Magoo's and sat down in one of the booths.

"So, what's it like being back?" Mark asked.

"It's kind of weird," Susan admitted.

"Good weird or bad weird?"

"Definitely good weird. So much about it has changed, but it's still the same place it always was. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes...kind of," Mark laughed. He looked across the table, watching Susan as she studied the menu. There was something different about her. She smiled, but she'd lost the sparkle in her eyes. Susan looked up and caught him looking at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Are you going to tell me why you suddenly decided to move back to Chicago?" Mark asked.

Susan dropped her head and pretended to read her menu, trying to avoid eye contact.

"It's complicated. I don't want to talk about it," she said, quietly, wishing she could open up to him, to tell him how broken her heart was.

"Susan…"

"Mark, please," Susan pleaded. She looked up at him, and he could see pain in her eyes; the same pain he'd seen years ago when Chloe had taken Little Susie back.

"I'm sorry," he said, backing down. "It's just, I can tell there's something wrong. And I just want to help."

"Trust me, there's nothing you could do," Susan said, her voice full of regret.

They were interrupted by the waitress, who brought over their coffees. Susan was glad of the distraction, and Mark decided to let the conversation go. It was obvious that whatever Susan's reasons for returning to Chicago, or more so leaving Phoenix, she was not ready to discuss them.

"So, how are things with Elizabeth?" Susan asked, changing the subject.

Mark's face lit up. "Oh my God, I can't believe I forgot to tell you!" Mark said, excitedly. "Elizabeth's pregnant!"

For a second, Mark thought he saw Susan's face drop, but this was quickly followed by a big smile. Five years ago, Mark would have seen through the smile, but he was too preoccupied with his good news to notice.

"Congratulations," Susan said. "I'm really pleased for you."

"I'm so happy!" Mark exclaimed. "And I'm going to do a better job of it this time around."

"Mark, you were always a good father to Rachel," Susan said, understanding what he was referring to. "And you will be again."

"I hope so," Mark said. "I'm really glad you're going to be around when the baby comes."

Susan smiled her fake smile again. Suddenly, Mark's beeper went off.

"That's me," Mark sighed. "I've got to get back to the hospital."

"No rest for the wicked, hey?" Susan said.

"Tell me about it," Mark said.

They made their way outside and could hear the sound of a distant ambulance.

"When do you start?" Mark asked.

"Monday. They gave me a few more days to unpack," Susan answered. "I could do with a month, though, with all the junk I've got."

Mark laughed. "I'm working Monday, so I'll see you then."

"I'll look forward to it," Susan said, genuinely.

"Me too," Mark said, winking, and with that he ran off to the ambulance bay.

Susan watched. It wouldn't be long now until she could get on with her life, leaving behind her past.