Author: AddisonRae
Title: Sleakeasy's Hair Potion (a short one-shot)
Genre: humor
Rating: G
Summary: Hermione prepares for the Yule Ball. Hilarity ensues.
"Liso!"
Nothing.
"Stratus!"
Nada.
Hermione Granger glared at her reflection mutinously. She was dressed in robes of a beautiful periwinkle blue material, with a little makeup to accentuate her eyes and lips…and the biggest, frizziest mass of hair to ever grace a human head, Muggle or Wizard.
Hermione growled furiously and began attacking her mane with a brush. Many knots, tangles, and shrieks later her hair lay relatively smooth and flat. Hermione smirked at her reflection. But then…a twitch…a tickle…and…
"AAAAAAACHOOOO!"
Hermione looked up, her hair was wild once more, her eyes were watering, and her nose still itched. Lovely. Just Bloody Brilliant! She grabbed a bottle of Muggle hair gel and worked it into her hair until it was a greasy, wet mess. She patted, poked, and prodded. Hermione's hair was stiff as a board, curly as a pigs tail, and drenched. She looked like she hadn't showered in weeks.
"UGH!"
Hermione screamed, ran to the dormitory bathroom, and shoved her hair under the sink faucet. Five minutes and a bottle and a half of shampoo later her hair felt almost clean. A sharp pain drug Hermione upwards, gasping for air with her hair covering her face. She found herself being pulled back into the dormitory by Lavender, who had her hands tangled in Hermione's hair. Lavender shook her head knowingly.
"Hermione, you're going about this all wrong. Your hair requires extreme measures." said Lavender exasperatedly.
The girl held up a bottle of bright blue, clear liquid. The flask was labeled "Sleakeasy's Hair Potion" with a picture of a beautiful, toothy blonde. With a mischievous grin, she poured out the creamy potion into Hermione's dripping wet hair, combed it out carefully. With that done, she pulled out her wand and performed a drying charm. With a flick of her wrist, Lavender had twisted Hermione's now smooth hair into a sleek bun, and pinned it in place.
She pulled Hermione out of the dormitory and all the way down the many staircases, through the corridors, and into the Entrance Hall. Standing there, Hermione suddenly felt naked.
"I'm gonna go find Parvati. You look great, Hermione!" she vanished into the crowd.
"Herm-own-ninny?" a voice muttered.
Turn.
Smile.
Relax.
"You look beautiful, Herm-own-ninny."
"Thank You, Victor."