Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Bros, America's Funniest Videos, Jerry Springer, Post-It-Notes (yeah you heard me right), or anything else that I may have forgotton to metntion.
A/N: I know it's been a while, but I've finally gotton around to updating this. Updating on MVC2 will be sometime this later this month, as my writer's block had returned a while back. But I will try my best to get chapter 7 up before christmas (I did promise that ya know). Anyway, enjoy chapter 2.
Oh, does anyone have or know of a good SSBM site that will post fanfiction? If so I would love to have the Mario's Video Cam series posted. I know I have it here on fanfiction.net, but I don't really like posting "MVC Revised" here because there is much more graphic and vulgur content on this than the originals. So if you'd like to help me out, please help!
WARNING!: Fox may seem a little hentai in this chapter. So beware.
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Chapter 2 - The Mystery Man
After a long argument with Captain Falcon, Samus, and Jigglypuff, Fox and Link ended up carrying Mario and Ness' "corpses" out the door to the nearest dumpster since no one really wanted to pay for a bunch of funeral or burial related things. No one didn't seem depressed in the least that Mario or Ness were practically out of the picture forever. They were either too happy or didn't care to even notice that Mario and Ness were actually still alive. Everyone prefered that Mario should be dead anyway. As for Ness, no one really noticed him.
As everyone began to celebrate because of Mario, who had always claimed to be their boss because he was thought of to be more famous, being out of their lives for good. Kirby began to examine that tape in Mario's video camera. Not wanting to back out on his original plan to send the tape to America's Funniest Videos, he decided that he should look at everything on the tape before sending in the "Kick Mario's Ass" clip. Though already, laziness was getting to the pudgy puffball.
"HEY SAMUS!"
This caused the female bounty hunter to groan in annoyance and get up from the couch to approach Kirby. She knew how the puffball was fat and lazy and had always asked people to do his work for him. The only reason she knew this was because she was always the one he would ask to do his work.
Samus looked down at the creature, who's height was only up to her knees. "What?"
"What's AFV's address?"
Samus rolled her eyes. "Beats me. How should I know? Why don't you watch the show to find out?"
"Well," Kirby looked down at his feet. " I was hoping you could watch for the address for me."
The bounty hunter groaned again, not surprised one bit by the request Kirby was making. "Am I your servant or something? Watch it yourself."
"Aw, fine." Kirby said in a disappointed tone.
Much to Samus' surprise, Kirby then looked up at her and held the tape up. "Will you at least watch this and find something funny on it?" The puffball caught Samus' annoyed expression, but did not stop there. "And then will you watch for the address because I'm hungry and sleepy and-"
"NO! DO IT YOURSELF YOU FAT, LAZY TUB OF LARD!" With that yelled and done, Samus stormed off to her room and slammed the door shut loud enough for all of the inhabitants of the building to hear.
Kirby wryly smiled as he stared at the hallway Samus retreated into. "Must be that time of the month."
Snickering at his own remark, Kirby began to make his way to the TV room. The room was just the way the pink puffball liked it; deserted, cozy, consisting of the smell of pizza from a week ago, trashy. If he could, Kirby would live in this room. By some odd reason, it would be Kirby's dream room.
Without further interuption, the puffball slid the tape into the VCR and rewound it. He then plopped himself onto the comfy sofa and pressed play. After an hour of going through and replaying the same clips of Mario getting his ass kicked for invading people's privacy, and complaining about not having any popcorn, Kirby finally came to a decision on what clip he was going to use. He got off the couch and took out the tape and smiled mischievously at it. "Oh man, AFV is going to pay me big when they see Luigi in the shower."
Kirby yawned and walked out of the TV room and started to his own room down the hallways. "All I need to do now is watch for the address and send in the tape. This'll be so great." As Kirby entered his room, someone from the shadows of his own room was watching Kirby's every move.
Later that night, Kirby was sound asleep in his bed, which was covered with empty bags of potato chips and empty soda cans. He was snoring and dreaming about his dream lover, Jigglypuff.
While Kirby was off in dream land with his fellow puffball, a certain someone had quietly walked into Kirby's room through the wide opened door and walked through the depths of the food covered pit. He stepped over what had appeared to be left over potato chips and candy bar wrappers. He approached the night stand next to Kirby's bed and took the only thing on it that wasn't food related, the video camera. Then he walked over to Kirby's desk and grabbed the tape, which was the only thing that didn't have food or Jigglypuff's picture on it. Then he silently made his way out the door and back into his own room, closing his door and locking it. He smirked as he put the tape back into the video camera. "Time for revenge."
The very next day, the person who had taken the cam corder from Kirby's room had gone through his closet and found a couple of things that would prove to be helpful on his new quest he was planning for the day. a white Jason mask, a tuxedo, and red bandana (for his head)[Hence The Mystery Man]. He quickly put on these items and picked up the video camera and stepped outside his door into the hallway. He glared at the electronic recorder.
"No one makes a fool of me and gets away with it, NO ONE!" He snarled as he turned on the video camera and turned it to his masked face. "Hello, I'm not Mario, but I'm going to show you how much better I am at making interesting videos than he is, without getting seriously hurt." He chuckled in an evil tone as he began to turn the camera away from his face and walk down the empty hallway. "As for who I am. Well, I am The Mystery Man."
The Mystery Man had set up the trap for his first victim for the video camera. There was a table with cheeseburgers that were stacked up to the ceiling. Beside the tasty food was a note. When he finished up everything, The Mystery Man ran into a nearby closet with the cam corder to conceal himself from view. Not too long after The Mystery Man put together his ingenius plan, Captain Falcon entered the scene, sweatpants and all. He immediately saw the table of cheeseburgers and quickly made his way over to the table while mumbling about all the tables always being so far away. He examined the contents the table happily as he came across the note.
Hey Captain Stupid,
If you manage to eat all of these cheeseburgers, I will pay you $100,000 in cash. Briefcase and all. But you have to finish them all within ten minutes after reading this note.
-Samus Aran
Captain Falcon's face lit up with an obvious glee. "WOW! 100,000 BIG ONES?! COOL! I'D BETTER START EATING!"
The Mystery Man zoomed in on Captain Falcon as he began to stuff three burgers at once into his mouth. Less than ten minutes after reading the note, Captain Falcon was on his last burger. At this point, Falcon was feeling a little constipated. "Oh man, I don't feel so good." Though it was becoming too much for the racer to handle, he was determined to finish his last burger. So with the rest of his will power, he shoved the final cheeseburger into his wide-opened mouth and began to chew. As soon as he swallowed, he had one thing on his mind. "I wonder why its so breezy in here."
If Captain Falcon knew the reason for the breeze, he would have noticed earlier if he hadn't gained so much weight. Falcon was now bigger than the table. Not only that, but since he had eaten more than he thought he could, his sweatpants had actually gotten so tight that they had ripped apart into little pieces. As for his thong underwear, which he normally wore to show off his ass in his tight purple pants, where they disappeared to is a mystery that no one may want to find out about.
Of course Captain Falcon hadn't noticed any of this until Yoshi walked into the room. He didn't seem to see anything at first glance. "Hey Falcon! What are you do-" It was at that point that Yoshi's eyes became as wide as dinner plates. He had caught a glimpse of something he didn't want to see. " AAH! OH MY GOD! PUT SOME PANTS ON MAN! I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT UGLY THING! OH SICK! I THINK I'M GONNA LOSE MY LUNCH!"
As Yoshi ran straight towards the nearest bathroom, the dumb Captain Falcon stood in his place watching the green dinosaur run off to empty his stomach. He then looked down to what he had always called his "Prized Area" and saw that his sweatpants were no longer present. His eyes widened under his helmet's visor, which he never took off. "OH GOD!" He then became angrier then he had ever been before. "SAMUS ARAN, YOUR GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!" He then started running off to find Samus, making the entire place shake in the process.
From his closet, The Mystery Man was beginning to bust up in laughter. "Oh damn! Now that was great! The stupid dolt didn't even notice that it wasn't Samus who wrote the not! It was me!" His hard laughter then became an evil cackle as he began to ponder on what he was going to do for fun next.
A little later, The Mystery Man had found another closet to hide in. This time, in the TV room, where Fox and Pikachu were watching Jerry Springer for the hell of it. The Mystery Man grinned. "Now, in a few moments, I'm going to show what Fox likes to watch when he's all alone." He chuckled. "And it ain't the Teletubbies."
The Mystery Man turned the camera to the pair sitting in front of the TV. They watched certain people yell, curse, chant Jerry's name endlessly, and throw chairs and punches at one another for a good while. Then Pikachu yawned and stood up on his tiny yellow feet. "Well Foxy, I'm gonna go find Yoshi and bug him for a while. You can have the TV."
Fox looked over at the electric mouse and smiled at him. "Okay, thanks. See ya later!"
Pikachu bid the vixen a farewell as he walked out and closed the door behind him. After watching Pikachu's every move towards the door, Fox quickly got up and ran over to the door and locked it. He then ran over to the nearest phone and picked it up and dialed a number. The other line rang twice before it was answered.
"Yeah?" Fox grinned. As expected, Falco had answered the phone.
"Hey Falco, its me, Fox." Though Falco wasn't there with him, Fox didn't need to see the avian's face to know that he was rolling his eyes.
"Really? Why don't you tell me something that I don't already know." Fox groaned at at his teamate.
"Look Feather Head, I didn't call you to play the name calling games or anything like that! I called about that certain channel that I was wanting."
The avian grinned on the other line. "Why? Are you sexually starved already? I'm surprised at you. It's only noon." Falco began to snicker as he noted his leader's growing impatience by his usual attempts to interrogate Fox just for fun.
"FALCO! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"
"So you are sexually starved right now."
"Shut up! Just send me the damn channel so I can hang up!"
Falco smirked. "Okay, but just remember to be a little nicer next time. Otherwise I'm not going to be so generous to you." Fox heard Falco chuckle through the phone.
"FINE! I'll be nice next time! Now get me the stupid channel!"
"Say 'Please'."
"ARGH! DAMNIT FALCO!"
"Meh, close enough."
Fox heard Falco put down the phone and start typing on his computer. Supposedly hacking into a satellite system to alter programs and signals on the television. As soon as the typing ceased, Falco had picked the phone back up. "Allright Foxy, you now have channel 1000. Hope it doesn't make you yearn too much for sex."
Fox rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Thanks." He hung the phone up before Falco could say anything else. Not wanting the interrogation session continue any longer.
Without any further hesitation, Fox grabbed the remote and changed the channel to 1000. He quietly sat on his knees directly in front of the TV, not caring in the least that it could seriously damage his vision. Fox turned the volume up as a female announcer's exotic voice was heard.
"Good afternoon and welcome to the Adult Channel. Here you will see a lot of nudity. Best of all, for all of you sexually starved men, some female exotic dancers."
Not once did Fox take his eyes away from the TV. Even the announcer was somehow getting him aroused. He smiled wryly. "Oh yeah...."
"Now remember, you must be over twenty-one years old to watch this channel. So we trust that if your under age, you will change the channel immediately."
Fox scowled at the TV after taking notice that he was only eighteen years old. "Screw the damn honor system! Get to the nude already!"
"Okay, now for the moment all of you sex starved people have been waiting for... The Exotic Dancing Hour."
The vixen's eyes became as large as dinner plates as The Exotic Dancing Hour started. Fox was so preoccupied with the TV that he didn't even notice the fact that he was getting turned on by a TV and was laughing stupidly.
The Mystery Man watched from his little space in the closet, taking notice that it looked as if Fox was having the most wonderful time of his life. It was almost looking as if this were the way Fox had always wanted things to be. The Mystery Man, however, had something different planned for the vixen's looming future.
Slowly, The Mystery Man opened his closet door and tip-toed out the door with his rolling video camera in hand. He put the cam corder under his arm and dug from his pocket, Post-It-Notes and an ink pen. He quickly wrote something down on the note and peeled if from the note pad and placed it on the door. He snickers and hides in a nearby room, which, ironically, was Fox's own room.
After a few minutes went by, the puffballed pokemon known as Jigglypuff approached the door. She stopped in her tracks as the yellow sticky note on the door caught her attention. She carefully read it outloud. "I'm watching a porno channel without paying for it. Please come in and beat the shit out of me and throw me out the window into the dumpster."
Jigglypuff, being the sweet, obedient pokemon that she was, reached up for the doorknob. "Well, signs are meant to be read. So it's pounding time for whoever's in here."
The pink pokemon walked into the room and saw none other than Fox McCloud watching The Exotic Dancing Hour. Not once did he look away from the TV to see who opened the door. Mainly due to the fact that he only had less than half of a mind at the moment. Without warning, Jigglypuff lunged at Fox from behind and tackled him face first into the floor and began to punch at any place possible. Fox yelped in shock as he was tackled to the floor, but didn't forget about what he was watching. The whole time, Fox was trying to glance back up at the TV with the result of getting a pink fluffy foot in his mouth. He kept trying to escape what seemed like Jigglypuff's version of a death fight, though it mostly felt as if it were a mere pillow fight. When Jigglypuff was satisfied with Fox's beating, she tackled into him hard and sent him flying through the window, down into a nearby dumpster.
Fox blinked a few times before he stood up from the filth that he landed in, glaring up at the window. "Damnit! How the bloody hell did she find out?! I locked the damn door! HOW IN THE FUCKING HELL DID SHE MANAGE TO-" He froze in the middle of his sentence as a relization dawned on him. He was in a dumpster. A dumpster had happened to be the place where he and Link picked as the burial ground for Mario and Ness. "This can't be the same dumpster. Could it?"
Slowly, Fox turned to find what he didn't want to; Mario and Ness lay in a huge mound of cheeseburger wrappers from Captain Falcon's cheeseburger dare from Samus.
Catching sight of the bloody bodies set off an instant reaction in Fox. He immediately scrambled to jump for the top of the dumpster to get out; all attempts proving to be unsucessful due to the fact that the dumpster was twice as high as the normal ones. It was now that Fox damned Mario's idea of increasing the amount of garbage space in the dumpsters for more frequent usage.
Finding that his stuggle to get out was futile, Fox resorted to screaming for help. "SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! THIS STUPID THING IS TOO HIGH! DAMN YOU MARIO! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!"
Up in the building, The Mystery Man was peering the video cam down at Fox in the dumpster from the window he was thrown out of. He smirked victoriously as he caught Fox's every move, which ended up in a hopeless struggle to get out of what was currently known as Mario and Ness' burial grounds. "Sweet...."
TBC...
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Okay, this chapter is done. Don't know when the next one will be up though. Just keep watching for it to magically appear sometime. -_-' Yeah, weird. I know. Oh, if anyone at all reads this, check out my latest fic, "I Killed Mario..."
-Zorra Lombardi
A/N: I know it's been a while, but I've finally gotton around to updating this. Updating on MVC2 will be sometime this later this month, as my writer's block had returned a while back. But I will try my best to get chapter 7 up before christmas (I did promise that ya know). Anyway, enjoy chapter 2.
Oh, does anyone have or know of a good SSBM site that will post fanfiction? If so I would love to have the Mario's Video Cam series posted. I know I have it here on fanfiction.net, but I don't really like posting "MVC Revised" here because there is much more graphic and vulgur content on this than the originals. So if you'd like to help me out, please help!
WARNING!: Fox may seem a little hentai in this chapter. So beware.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2 - The Mystery Man
After a long argument with Captain Falcon, Samus, and Jigglypuff, Fox and Link ended up carrying Mario and Ness' "corpses" out the door to the nearest dumpster since no one really wanted to pay for a bunch of funeral or burial related things. No one didn't seem depressed in the least that Mario or Ness were practically out of the picture forever. They were either too happy or didn't care to even notice that Mario and Ness were actually still alive. Everyone prefered that Mario should be dead anyway. As for Ness, no one really noticed him.
As everyone began to celebrate because of Mario, who had always claimed to be their boss because he was thought of to be more famous, being out of their lives for good. Kirby began to examine that tape in Mario's video camera. Not wanting to back out on his original plan to send the tape to America's Funniest Videos, he decided that he should look at everything on the tape before sending in the "Kick Mario's Ass" clip. Though already, laziness was getting to the pudgy puffball.
"HEY SAMUS!"
This caused the female bounty hunter to groan in annoyance and get up from the couch to approach Kirby. She knew how the puffball was fat and lazy and had always asked people to do his work for him. The only reason she knew this was because she was always the one he would ask to do his work.
Samus looked down at the creature, who's height was only up to her knees. "What?"
"What's AFV's address?"
Samus rolled her eyes. "Beats me. How should I know? Why don't you watch the show to find out?"
"Well," Kirby looked down at his feet. " I was hoping you could watch for the address for me."
The bounty hunter groaned again, not surprised one bit by the request Kirby was making. "Am I your servant or something? Watch it yourself."
"Aw, fine." Kirby said in a disappointed tone.
Much to Samus' surprise, Kirby then looked up at her and held the tape up. "Will you at least watch this and find something funny on it?" The puffball caught Samus' annoyed expression, but did not stop there. "And then will you watch for the address because I'm hungry and sleepy and-"
"NO! DO IT YOURSELF YOU FAT, LAZY TUB OF LARD!" With that yelled and done, Samus stormed off to her room and slammed the door shut loud enough for all of the inhabitants of the building to hear.
Kirby wryly smiled as he stared at the hallway Samus retreated into. "Must be that time of the month."
Snickering at his own remark, Kirby began to make his way to the TV room. The room was just the way the pink puffball liked it; deserted, cozy, consisting of the smell of pizza from a week ago, trashy. If he could, Kirby would live in this room. By some odd reason, it would be Kirby's dream room.
Without further interuption, the puffball slid the tape into the VCR and rewound it. He then plopped himself onto the comfy sofa and pressed play. After an hour of going through and replaying the same clips of Mario getting his ass kicked for invading people's privacy, and complaining about not having any popcorn, Kirby finally came to a decision on what clip he was going to use. He got off the couch and took out the tape and smiled mischievously at it. "Oh man, AFV is going to pay me big when they see Luigi in the shower."
Kirby yawned and walked out of the TV room and started to his own room down the hallways. "All I need to do now is watch for the address and send in the tape. This'll be so great." As Kirby entered his room, someone from the shadows of his own room was watching Kirby's every move.
Later that night, Kirby was sound asleep in his bed, which was covered with empty bags of potato chips and empty soda cans. He was snoring and dreaming about his dream lover, Jigglypuff.
While Kirby was off in dream land with his fellow puffball, a certain someone had quietly walked into Kirby's room through the wide opened door and walked through the depths of the food covered pit. He stepped over what had appeared to be left over potato chips and candy bar wrappers. He approached the night stand next to Kirby's bed and took the only thing on it that wasn't food related, the video camera. Then he walked over to Kirby's desk and grabbed the tape, which was the only thing that didn't have food or Jigglypuff's picture on it. Then he silently made his way out the door and back into his own room, closing his door and locking it. He smirked as he put the tape back into the video camera. "Time for revenge."
The very next day, the person who had taken the cam corder from Kirby's room had gone through his closet and found a couple of things that would prove to be helpful on his new quest he was planning for the day. a white Jason mask, a tuxedo, and red bandana (for his head)[Hence The Mystery Man]. He quickly put on these items and picked up the video camera and stepped outside his door into the hallway. He glared at the electronic recorder.
"No one makes a fool of me and gets away with it, NO ONE!" He snarled as he turned on the video camera and turned it to his masked face. "Hello, I'm not Mario, but I'm going to show you how much better I am at making interesting videos than he is, without getting seriously hurt." He chuckled in an evil tone as he began to turn the camera away from his face and walk down the empty hallway. "As for who I am. Well, I am The Mystery Man."
The Mystery Man had set up the trap for his first victim for the video camera. There was a table with cheeseburgers that were stacked up to the ceiling. Beside the tasty food was a note. When he finished up everything, The Mystery Man ran into a nearby closet with the cam corder to conceal himself from view. Not too long after The Mystery Man put together his ingenius plan, Captain Falcon entered the scene, sweatpants and all. He immediately saw the table of cheeseburgers and quickly made his way over to the table while mumbling about all the tables always being so far away. He examined the contents the table happily as he came across the note.
Hey Captain Stupid,
If you manage to eat all of these cheeseburgers, I will pay you $100,000 in cash. Briefcase and all. But you have to finish them all within ten minutes after reading this note.
-Samus Aran
Captain Falcon's face lit up with an obvious glee. "WOW! 100,000 BIG ONES?! COOL! I'D BETTER START EATING!"
The Mystery Man zoomed in on Captain Falcon as he began to stuff three burgers at once into his mouth. Less than ten minutes after reading the note, Captain Falcon was on his last burger. At this point, Falcon was feeling a little constipated. "Oh man, I don't feel so good." Though it was becoming too much for the racer to handle, he was determined to finish his last burger. So with the rest of his will power, he shoved the final cheeseburger into his wide-opened mouth and began to chew. As soon as he swallowed, he had one thing on his mind. "I wonder why its so breezy in here."
If Captain Falcon knew the reason for the breeze, he would have noticed earlier if he hadn't gained so much weight. Falcon was now bigger than the table. Not only that, but since he had eaten more than he thought he could, his sweatpants had actually gotten so tight that they had ripped apart into little pieces. As for his thong underwear, which he normally wore to show off his ass in his tight purple pants, where they disappeared to is a mystery that no one may want to find out about.
Of course Captain Falcon hadn't noticed any of this until Yoshi walked into the room. He didn't seem to see anything at first glance. "Hey Falcon! What are you do-" It was at that point that Yoshi's eyes became as wide as dinner plates. He had caught a glimpse of something he didn't want to see. " AAH! OH MY GOD! PUT SOME PANTS ON MAN! I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT UGLY THING! OH SICK! I THINK I'M GONNA LOSE MY LUNCH!"
As Yoshi ran straight towards the nearest bathroom, the dumb Captain Falcon stood in his place watching the green dinosaur run off to empty his stomach. He then looked down to what he had always called his "Prized Area" and saw that his sweatpants were no longer present. His eyes widened under his helmet's visor, which he never took off. "OH GOD!" He then became angrier then he had ever been before. "SAMUS ARAN, YOUR GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!" He then started running off to find Samus, making the entire place shake in the process.
From his closet, The Mystery Man was beginning to bust up in laughter. "Oh damn! Now that was great! The stupid dolt didn't even notice that it wasn't Samus who wrote the not! It was me!" His hard laughter then became an evil cackle as he began to ponder on what he was going to do for fun next.
A little later, The Mystery Man had found another closet to hide in. This time, in the TV room, where Fox and Pikachu were watching Jerry Springer for the hell of it. The Mystery Man grinned. "Now, in a few moments, I'm going to show what Fox likes to watch when he's all alone." He chuckled. "And it ain't the Teletubbies."
The Mystery Man turned the camera to the pair sitting in front of the TV. They watched certain people yell, curse, chant Jerry's name endlessly, and throw chairs and punches at one another for a good while. Then Pikachu yawned and stood up on his tiny yellow feet. "Well Foxy, I'm gonna go find Yoshi and bug him for a while. You can have the TV."
Fox looked over at the electric mouse and smiled at him. "Okay, thanks. See ya later!"
Pikachu bid the vixen a farewell as he walked out and closed the door behind him. After watching Pikachu's every move towards the door, Fox quickly got up and ran over to the door and locked it. He then ran over to the nearest phone and picked it up and dialed a number. The other line rang twice before it was answered.
"Yeah?" Fox grinned. As expected, Falco had answered the phone.
"Hey Falco, its me, Fox." Though Falco wasn't there with him, Fox didn't need to see the avian's face to know that he was rolling his eyes.
"Really? Why don't you tell me something that I don't already know." Fox groaned at at his teamate.
"Look Feather Head, I didn't call you to play the name calling games or anything like that! I called about that certain channel that I was wanting."
The avian grinned on the other line. "Why? Are you sexually starved already? I'm surprised at you. It's only noon." Falco began to snicker as he noted his leader's growing impatience by his usual attempts to interrogate Fox just for fun.
"FALCO! THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"
"So you are sexually starved right now."
"Shut up! Just send me the damn channel so I can hang up!"
Falco smirked. "Okay, but just remember to be a little nicer next time. Otherwise I'm not going to be so generous to you." Fox heard Falco chuckle through the phone.
"FINE! I'll be nice next time! Now get me the stupid channel!"
"Say 'Please'."
"ARGH! DAMNIT FALCO!"
"Meh, close enough."
Fox heard Falco put down the phone and start typing on his computer. Supposedly hacking into a satellite system to alter programs and signals on the television. As soon as the typing ceased, Falco had picked the phone back up. "Allright Foxy, you now have channel 1000. Hope it doesn't make you yearn too much for sex."
Fox rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Thanks." He hung the phone up before Falco could say anything else. Not wanting the interrogation session continue any longer.
Without any further hesitation, Fox grabbed the remote and changed the channel to 1000. He quietly sat on his knees directly in front of the TV, not caring in the least that it could seriously damage his vision. Fox turned the volume up as a female announcer's exotic voice was heard.
"Good afternoon and welcome to the Adult Channel. Here you will see a lot of nudity. Best of all, for all of you sexually starved men, some female exotic dancers."
Not once did Fox take his eyes away from the TV. Even the announcer was somehow getting him aroused. He smiled wryly. "Oh yeah...."
"Now remember, you must be over twenty-one years old to watch this channel. So we trust that if your under age, you will change the channel immediately."
Fox scowled at the TV after taking notice that he was only eighteen years old. "Screw the damn honor system! Get to the nude already!"
"Okay, now for the moment all of you sex starved people have been waiting for... The Exotic Dancing Hour."
The vixen's eyes became as large as dinner plates as The Exotic Dancing Hour started. Fox was so preoccupied with the TV that he didn't even notice the fact that he was getting turned on by a TV and was laughing stupidly.
The Mystery Man watched from his little space in the closet, taking notice that it looked as if Fox was having the most wonderful time of his life. It was almost looking as if this were the way Fox had always wanted things to be. The Mystery Man, however, had something different planned for the vixen's looming future.
Slowly, The Mystery Man opened his closet door and tip-toed out the door with his rolling video camera in hand. He put the cam corder under his arm and dug from his pocket, Post-It-Notes and an ink pen. He quickly wrote something down on the note and peeled if from the note pad and placed it on the door. He snickers and hides in a nearby room, which, ironically, was Fox's own room.
After a few minutes went by, the puffballed pokemon known as Jigglypuff approached the door. She stopped in her tracks as the yellow sticky note on the door caught her attention. She carefully read it outloud. "I'm watching a porno channel without paying for it. Please come in and beat the shit out of me and throw me out the window into the dumpster."
Jigglypuff, being the sweet, obedient pokemon that she was, reached up for the doorknob. "Well, signs are meant to be read. So it's pounding time for whoever's in here."
The pink pokemon walked into the room and saw none other than Fox McCloud watching The Exotic Dancing Hour. Not once did he look away from the TV to see who opened the door. Mainly due to the fact that he only had less than half of a mind at the moment. Without warning, Jigglypuff lunged at Fox from behind and tackled him face first into the floor and began to punch at any place possible. Fox yelped in shock as he was tackled to the floor, but didn't forget about what he was watching. The whole time, Fox was trying to glance back up at the TV with the result of getting a pink fluffy foot in his mouth. He kept trying to escape what seemed like Jigglypuff's version of a death fight, though it mostly felt as if it were a mere pillow fight. When Jigglypuff was satisfied with Fox's beating, she tackled into him hard and sent him flying through the window, down into a nearby dumpster.
Fox blinked a few times before he stood up from the filth that he landed in, glaring up at the window. "Damnit! How the bloody hell did she find out?! I locked the damn door! HOW IN THE FUCKING HELL DID SHE MANAGE TO-" He froze in the middle of his sentence as a relization dawned on him. He was in a dumpster. A dumpster had happened to be the place where he and Link picked as the burial ground for Mario and Ness. "This can't be the same dumpster. Could it?"
Slowly, Fox turned to find what he didn't want to; Mario and Ness lay in a huge mound of cheeseburger wrappers from Captain Falcon's cheeseburger dare from Samus.
Catching sight of the bloody bodies set off an instant reaction in Fox. He immediately scrambled to jump for the top of the dumpster to get out; all attempts proving to be unsucessful due to the fact that the dumpster was twice as high as the normal ones. It was now that Fox damned Mario's idea of increasing the amount of garbage space in the dumpsters for more frequent usage.
Finding that his stuggle to get out was futile, Fox resorted to screaming for help. "SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! THIS STUPID THING IS TOO HIGH! DAMN YOU MARIO! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!"
Up in the building, The Mystery Man was peering the video cam down at Fox in the dumpster from the window he was thrown out of. He smirked victoriously as he caught Fox's every move, which ended up in a hopeless struggle to get out of what was currently known as Mario and Ness' burial grounds. "Sweet...."
TBC...
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Okay, this chapter is done. Don't know when the next one will be up though. Just keep watching for it to magically appear sometime. -_-' Yeah, weird. I know. Oh, if anyone at all reads this, check out my latest fic, "I Killed Mario..."
-Zorra Lombardi